Missing Linc

by Kori Roberts

time, erase everything he”d said to Mitch and Tomi, and replace it with the truth of how

  much he loved them.

  He couldn”t even look at himself in the mirror. The way he”d treated them made him

  physically sick to his stomach. God, what the fuck had he been smoking that made him think

  it was okay to hurt them so badly? The looks on their faces would haunt him until the end of

  time.

  Linc rubbed a hand over his face, as if doing that would somehow erase the memory.

  Jesus, he was even worse than their previous lover, Alec. He knew the pain they”d suffered

  after that breakup, yet he still deliberately went out of his way to devastate them.

  He”d convinced himself that he”d caused this chaos in order to save everyone

  unnecessary heartache by ending the relationship before they became too attached to each

  other. He could admit now that was complete bullshit. Mitch”s words cut him like a knife,

  but he was right. Linc had been too afraid to share his feelings with them, too scared to hear

  how they felt about him. He shook his head. What made sense at that time seemed so

  ridiculous now. Well, he was officially done running from his feelings. Linc picked up his cell phone

  from his desk, determined to reverse some of the damage he”d done.

  He dialed the number to their hotel room from memory, listening to it ring, silently

  praying that they would give him a chance to tell them how he truly felt.

  “Hola?”

  Linc paused when the accented voice answered the phone. “Lo siento.” He apologized,

  certain he”d dialed incorrectly. “Llamé el número incorrecto.” Linc hung up and tried again.

  When the same voice answered the phone, he knew something was wrong.

  He hung up without responding, immediately calling the main hotel number. “I”m

  trying to reach the Elliotts in suite twelve twenty-three.” The operator placed him on hold

  for several long moments before returning. “I”m sorry, sir. The Elliott party has already

  checked out.”

  Linc sat in stunned silence. He was too late. They were already gone.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Mitch walked into the bedroom where Tomi sat at a small desk in the corner, looking

  at the computer screen. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

  “Hi, beautiful.” His lips grazed along her neck. She stood and stepped into his embrace,

  leaning up to give him a kiss.

  “How was your day?” he asked her.

  “Much better, now that you”re home.” Mitch smiled at that. Tomi always knew what to

  say to make him feel like he was the most important person in her world.

  “I got an e-mail from Tracee today,” she said quietly.

  Mitch paused. “Oh, yeah?” He kept his voice casual. “How is she doing?” One of the

  good things that they”d brought home with them from Puerto Rico was a new friendship

  between Tomi and Tracee. They exchanged e-mails with each other several times a week.

  “She”s good. She”s trying to take a few days off to come and visit before my classes start

  in a few weeks.”

  She smiled, but her eyes remained slightly sad. He knew that look. He”d seen it a lot

  lately. It had been a month since they had last seen Linc, and despite everything he”d said, everything he”d done, she still missed him. Hell, they both did. And that really pissed Mitch

  off.

  Every time he looked into Tomi”s face, every time he saw the tears that she tried to

  hide from him, it made him so fucking furious that he wanted to hop on a plane to Puerto

  Rico, march back to Linc”s house, and bust him right in the face. It wouldn”t solve a damn

  thing. Mitch knew that, but it sure as hell would make him feel better.

  It wouldn”t be so bad if they both didn”t still love the bastard so damn much, and time

  definitely had not done a thing to lessen the way they felt about him. If anything, it made it

  worse.

  In the short time they”d known Linc, they”d developed feelings for him that were

  deeper than they even realized. It wasn”t until they returned home and tried to get back to

  normal that they truly understood what an impact Linc had had on them and their life. It

  made their relationship with Alec seem insignificant in comparison.

  Mitch held Tomi a little tighter, remembering how much she suffered when Alec left.

  At that time, he”d sworn to Tomi, as well as himself, that he would never allow her to go

  through that again, never watch sadness and sorrow eat away at her and nearly tear them

  both apart. And he was willing to do whatever it took to keep that promise.

  “What are you doing tomorrow?” His tongue traced along her ear.

  She moaned. “Nothing. Why?”

  “Well, it”s Friday, which means I don”t have any clients scheduled, and I thought we

  could spend the entire day in bed, alone, with no distractions, doing horizontal workouts.”

  He sucked on her earlobe. “How does that sound?” Mitch whispered.

  “Mmm.” Tomi shivered slightly. “That sounds perfect.”

  Mitch began to undress her, his hands moving over her familiar curves, exposing

  smooth brown skin for his touching, tasting, and teasing pleasure. “Speaking of which,” Tomi began, “you might want to recharge your cell phone. I tried

  to reach you several times today, but your calls kept going straight to voice mail.”

  Mitch chuckled. Damn, she knew him so well. “I know. My battery died early this

  morning.”

  “Here” — she unclipped it from his belt — “I”ll plug it in for you so it can charge.” Mitch

  stopped her before she could walk away.

  “Don”t worry about it.” He took the phone from her and placed it on the desk, pulling

  her into his arms again and unfastening the front closure of her bra to expose her breasts. “In

  fact, we should turn off all the phones.” He bent and sucked a nipple between his lips before

  he picked her up and carried her toward the bed. “The only voice I want to hear for the next

  twenty-four hours is yours screaming my name.”

  *

  “Madre de Dios.” Pedro”s voice barely registered with Linc. He was only distantly

  aware of his cousin speaking softly to someone else before he began moving around the

  room. Finally, the smell of coffee filled his nose.

  “Here.” Linc felt the cup press against his mouth. “Drink this.” His eyes felt fused

  together, and he struggled to open them. Pedro”s blurry image appeared in front of him, and

  Linc absently took the coffee from his hand and swallowed several huge gulps, ignoring the

  burn of the strong, hot liquid as it flowed down his throat.

  Sighing, Pedro sat across from him on the leather couch in his office, silently watching

  him as he drank, refilling his cup once he finished. Linc had no idea how long he”d been

  there. The bright sun shining through his windows confirmed that it was morning, and from

  the look of his rumpled clothes and the empty bottle of rum on his desk, he”d obviously slept

  there — again.

  It”d become the norm for him lately. Drink until he couldn”t remember his former

  lovers, couldn”t feel his pain, and then pass out in his chair. After he”d had his third cup of coffee, Linc felt the fog finally lift. Pedro seemed to

  notice it as well.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked quietly.

  Linc snorted, rubbing his eyes as his hangover kicked into f
ull gear. “How do I look?”

  In spite of all the coffee he”d drunk, his throat was dry, his voice raw.

  Pedro nodded. “I see your point.” He set the nearly empty coffeepot on a nearby table

  before standing and walking over to Linc”s desk and holding out his hand. Inside were two

  aspirin, which Linc gratefully accepted, washing them down with the remaining coffee in his

  cup.

  “How did you find out?” Linc asked as Pedro had a seat in the chair in front of his desk.

  He didn”t bother to explain what he meant. He was certain that Pedro would understand.

  “Lorna called and said that she hadn”t seen you in a few days. I didn”t worry about it

  too much. I figured you probably needed some time because of…well…you know. Then,

  Rosa called today when she found you in here.” He paused. “You ready to talk now?”

  Linc didn”t respond. There was nothing for him to say that wasn”t already glaringly

  apparent. He hadn”t left his house in days, he only ate when he absolutely had to, and he

  couldn”t sleep unless he was unconscious. He didn”t need a mirror to know that he looked a

  mess and probably smelled even worse. It was safe to say he was completely falling apart.

  “Well,” Pedro began after a long silence, “since you don”t want to start, I will.” He

  shook his head and stared up at the ceiling for a moment before he looked at Linc again. “I

  can”t even believe I”m about to say this, but I was wrong about your relationship with Tomi

  and Mitch.”

  Pedro spoke the words very softly, and for a moment, Linc wasn”t sure he”d heard him

  correctly.

  “You heard what I said.” Pedro smiled slightly, responding to Linc as if he”d read his

  mind before his expression turned serious again. “I knew you loved them, but I had no idea just how much until now. I never would have believed it if I hadn”t seen it with my own

  eyes, but you are in worse shape now than you were when Paul and Ava died.”

  Linc could not argue that. Everything Pedro said was true, and the pain of it all was

  killing him slowly from the inside out.

  He looked into Pedro”s eyes. “I fucked up,” he finally said. “Paul and Ava died before I

  had the chance to tell them how I felt. Not that it would have changed anything between us,

  because I didn”t love them, not like this, anyway.” Linc took a deep breath; his throat was

  tight with emotion.

  “This time, it was different. I had the chance to tell Mitch and Tomi how I felt, and I

  chose to push them away instead…” Linc”s words trailed off, and he closed his eyes, the

  throbbing in his head and his heart becoming too much to bear.

  “So, what”s stopping you from doing it now?” Pedro asked quietly.

  Linc laughed sadly. “Aside from the fact that they live thousands of miles away? Even if

  they lived right next door, they probably hate me so much, they”d just as easily kill me as

  look at me — which I really couldn”t blame them for, considering how I treated them.”

  “Well,” Pedro began, “I can”t tell you what to do, but I will tell you this. I”ve known

  you all your life, and I gotta be honest with you and say that I don”t recognize the person I

  see in front of me. The Lincoln I know is a man that I have admired and looked up to my

  entire life. He isn”t just my cousin; he”s my best friend, and the strongest person I know. I”ve

  seen him at his best and his worst, and I know that it”s not in his nature to just give up and

  stop trying, especially when he wants something — or someone. The Linc that I know is

  better than this.” His hand gestured in Linc”s direction. “You are better than this.”

  He stood, pushing in his chair and picking up the empty coffee cup and the coffeepot

  on his way out the door. Just before he left the room, Pedro turned and said, “More than anything, Linc, I want

  you to be happy. If being with Mitch and Tomi makes you that way, then you should do

  whatever it takes to make that happen. It”s the least you deserve.”

  Linc sat in silence after Pedro left, his mind going a million miles a minute. Finally, he

  reached for his phone and made a call. A few minutes later, he raced upstairs to his bedroom

  to shower and pack an overnight bag before he headed to the airport. He had a flight to

  catch.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Linc awakened in an unfamiliar bed, and it took him a moment to remember where he

  was. New York City. It felt like forever and no time at all since he”d been in this city. He

  remembered rushing to the airport, trying to catch the last-minute flight he”d booked here,

  arriving at the airport barely thirty minutes before his flight took off. Linc had had just

  enough time to find his seat and make a quick phone call to Pedro to tell him where he was

  and to thank him for rescuing him once again.

  His flight from Puerto Rico had arrived at LaGuardia at nearly eleven o”clock last night.

  Once he finally made it to his hotel and checked into his room, it was well after midnight —

  too late to contact Mitch and Tomi. Besides, he”d been far too exhausted and nervous to do

  anything more than crash for the rest of the night.

  Although the heavy curtains blocked the windows, Linc knew it was morning, and

  time for him to do what he came here for. He picked up his cell phone from the table by the

  bed and dialed Mitch”s cell number from memory. Linc didn”t know exactly where they

  lived, so calling them was the only option he had.

  The phone rang once before Mitch”s recorded voice message began. Damn, just the

  sound of the man”s voice made Linc”s heart race. At first, he wasn”t sure if he felt happy or disappointed when Mitch didn”t answer, and he considered hanging up without leaving a

  message and waiting until later to call him again. Linc was still weighing his options when he

  heard a beeping sound, and before he knew it, he started talking.

  “Hi, this…it”s Linc. Um…” He paused, suddenly so nervous, he could barely form a

  complete sentence. “Listen, I, uh…I”m here…in New York. I flew in for the day, and I was

  hoping to see you and Tomi before I leave in the morning. I know I”m the last person you

  ever thought you would hear from again. I wouldn”t blame you if you deleted this message as

  soon as you heard my voice, but I hope that you won”t do that without listening to what I

  have to say first. I know that this won”t automatically fix things between us, and I know that

  I could say I”m sorry a million times, and it still wouldn”t be enough to reverse the damage

  I”ve caused. I just…I hope that you and Tomi can find it in your hearts to forgive me. But” —

  Linc swallowed hard — “if you both still decide that you never want to see me again, I”ll

  understand.”

  He blew out a breath. “Man.” He chuckled uncomfortably. “This is a lot harder than I

  thought it would be.” Linc leaned against the headboard and closed his eyes. When he

  opened his mouth again, he spoke straight from the heart.

  “There”s not a single minute that goes by since you and Tomi left that I don”t think

  about the two of you. I remember every moment down to the smallest detail of the time we

  spent together. More than anything, I remember that day when I hurt you and Tomi, when I

  said things to you that make me feel disgusted with myself. You have no idea how much I


  wish I could take back what I said that day, to take back the hurt and anger and pain that I

  caused you and Tomi.” His throat tightened, his voice thickened with emotion as he tried to

  hold it together long enough to say what needed to be said.

  “You were right about me, Mitch. I lied to you, to Tomi, and to myself. I was too afraid

  to tell you the truth, too afraid to let you know how much I loved you both — how much I

  still love you — or to allow myself to even dare to hope that you and Tomi could ever love

  me in return.” A computerized voice interrupted Linc, warning him that he only had thirty seconds

  left to finish his message.

  “God, I miss you both…so much,” he whispered hoarsely. “I am not the same without

  you; my life is not the same without you and Tomi in it. Everything I do, everything I see,

  reminds me of you, and I”d give anything, do anything, to be with you both again, to be a

  part of your relationship again.” He sighed heavily before he continued.

  “There”s one last thing I want to tell you before I hang up. You were wrong about one

  thing, Mitch. I didn”t just use you and Tomi and then walk away. The two of you have

  owned me since the moment I saw you. In those weeks we spent together, you became a part

  of me, and losing you feels like I”ve lost a part of myself. Regardless of whether we ever see

  each other again, you and Tomi deserve to know that you mean so much more to me than

  just a convenient piece of ass. You have a right to know that I love you and want forever

  with you, even if that isn”t possible.”

  Linc quickly left his hotel information and his cell phone number, whispering, “I love

  you,” just before he heard a beep signaling the end of his message. He disconnected his call

  and laid the phone on the bed before he got up and headed for the bathroom. No use in

  sitting here, driving himself crazy while he waited.

  As Linc stepped into the shower, the same thought repeated in his mind, like a mantra:

  God, please let them call.

  *

  He spent his day reacquainting himself with the city he”d called home for years, the

  place he”d sworn never to set foot in again. Linc”s first stop was just a few doors down from