by R S Burton
My computer beeped. The flashing blue box was back. I gulped and opened the message box.
Tobias Clarke: Have you collated that report I asked for?
Ruby Moritz: Yes, I believe the mail department will be delivering it momentarily.
Tobias Clarke: Bring it to me when it arrives.
Tobias Clarke has closed the window.
Just before five Jimmy the mail boy walked down the corridor holding a small black satchel. He placed it on my desk. I smiled up at him, in the last three days I’d seen him at least twice a day. It was nice to see another smiling face. He was young with brown hair, blue eyes and the kind of cheeky grin that made you feel like you could relax. It was a nice change from my icy surroundings. “I believe I am holding one highly confidential report.”
“That you are.” I replied. “Thanks Jimmy.”
Jimmy nodded. “It’s my job.”
Jimmy tapped the desk twice and then turned around to leave. I opened the satchel and pulled out the collated report. I stood and walked over to ice man's office and knocked quietly. He didn’t answer, but I knew he was waiting for the file so I pushed the door open anyway.
“I really don’t think that is necessary.” Tobias exclaimed, he didn’t sound like his usual angry self, in fact he sounded almost sad.
“Yes, I know I called you Gert, but I don’t think an appointment is required.”
Tobias was hunched over his desk, one hand held the phone to his ear, and the other raked his fingers through his hair. For a moment he didn’t look so tall anymore. I was surprised to find myself concerned about him. I went to back out of the room, clearly I was imposing on a private moment, one not meant for my eyes. It didn’t matter if it gave me more of an understanding of my highly strung boss, I was stealing that fact from him. I looked away, as I moved backwards toward the door. Before I could leave though, I banged into a small side table, causing a small wooden ornament to fall to the floor.
I looked back up at Tobias, he was sitting up straight now, his eyes were on me and his mouth was agape. “I’ll call you back.” He said softly before placing the phone down on the desk.
“I... I... I knocked.” I stuttered, frozen on the spot.
“Is that my report?” He exclaimed, ignoring the fact I had seen him even slightly vulnerable. I nodded and forced myself to move. I placed one foot in front of the other until I stood in front of his desk. I placed it down.
I should have just left, I should have turned and walked out of the office and notched it up to experience. But I didn’t. I looked back up at my boss, I searched his icy eyes for something I couldn’t even begin to explain. He picked up the report, but kept his eyes locked with mine.
“Thank you Ms Moritz.” He said, finally breaking eye contact to look down at the file.
“You’re welcome. Is there anything else I can do for you sir?” I asked softly. I wasn’t sure what the offer meant, I wasn’t sure why I’d even said it. Tobias Clarke was not the kind of man who would hold back if there was something he needed me to do. Still I asked anyway. He looked back up at me and pursed his lips, he was about to say something, but then shook his head, looked down and waved me off.
“No, you can go home now Ms Moritz. See you in the morning.”
I nodded, turning around. I made myself move again, one foot in front of the other until I was outside his office. I let out a breath I hadn’t been aware I was holding. Tobias Clarke was not 100% cold all the way through. He was hiding something.
I left the office and caught the two buses and a train home. It was almost 7pm before I stood outside my almost derelict apartment building. It was far from pretty, with it’s cracked concrete fencing, and the fact that at least five of the apartments had plywood for windows. But it was home, and it had been home since I had run away from everything that happened before I had moved here. Mom’s death had shaken me and I’d made some bad decisions. Mom had tried her best to leave me something, but after my father's death only two years before her own had bled the bank dry to the point I had needed to take out a small loan just to have a funeral. Still, money had never been important to me, at least not in the sense I needed all of the best things. I just wanted to survive. I walked inside the building and up the dark cold steps until I reached my room on the fourth floor. I pushed the door open and walked inside.
I’d done my best to make the apartment feel like home. It was amazing what a fresh coat of paint could do. Still, it was cold and drafty with three broken windows and furniture I had been too ashamed to show anyone, not that I had anyone to show.
One day I’d make it out of here and live the life my parents wanted for me, but until then, I had to make the best of what I had.
I heated up dinner in the microwave, a frozen lasagna, then sat down under my blankets and watched movies. It was forever my monotonous life, but there was a certain peace in familiarity.
Chapter Three
The next day, I walked into the building holding my head up high behind the girls who a few days ago I had worked with. I wasn’t an idiot, I knew my promotion really had been a case of ‘last on, first off’ but with a twist. Still, working for Tobias Clarke hadn’t turned out to be as frightening as almost everyone on the second floor seemed to think it was.
Yes, he was a cold, and after four days I hadn’t once seen him smile, but he also wasn’t the worst man I’d ever known.
I walked into the elevator and stood to the side. The girls from the second floor looked at me but said nothing. The doors opened on the second floor and everyone piled out, everyone but me.
When I made it to the top floor I walked down the corridor to my desk. I noticed a small piece of paper folded in half on top of my keyboard. I frowned. It didn’t seem like Tobias’ style to leave notes, and I really didn’t know anyone else at all. I swallowed hard and nervously picked up the piece of paper.
Rubes, I love you. Lets try again. Ben.
My back stiffened and I looked around the office, careful not to move to much. My stomach rolled and suddenly felt the very real need to vomit. I had been careful not to leave a paper trail behind me when I had moved to Worthington and even when I’d started work, I’d made sure to be careful. In fact, part of the reason I took two buses and a train to work was to make it harder for people to find me… To make it harder for Ben to find me. Obviously I had failed, because a note with his handwriting on it had been sitting on my desk. I closed my eyes.
He held me down, like a police officer holds a felon down. Arms behind my back, with his knee in the back of my neck. I had tried to run, but I’d tripped and he had taken advantage of my clumsiness.
“ Stupid bitch.” He laughed.
“ Get off me Ben. Please.” I begged, I’d spent the last year begging. I was sick of begging.
“ You can’t tell me what to do woman.” He shifted a little, digging his knee further into my neck. I yelped in pain, but he didn’t care, he never had.
He moved finally, pressing his lips to my ear. “You’re mine. Don’t forget that Ruby. You will never leave me.”
He grazed his fingers over my back, before hooking them under the collar of my shirt and yanking me up off the ground. “No one will ever love you like I do.”
I wanted to spit in his face and hit him, but then I would be no better than him. Instead I just nodded and walked passed him, back into my room. I packed my textbooks into a bag while he watched, and I could sense his anger rising again, although I ignored it.
“ Where do you think you are going?” He laughed.
“ School. I have an early marketing class.” I lied. Ben had abused me for the last time. I was going to get out this time. I was going to run as far from him as I could.
I had let him into my life when I was lonely, and like the flea he was, he had sucked the life from me. Not anymore. It was over.
I opened my eyes, thankful to find myself back in the office, still holding the offensive note between my fingers. I threw it to the side and
struggled to breath steady.
“Ah, back with the land of the living then?” Tobias’ voice boomed from in front of me, I looked up at his disapproving face and bit my lip.
“I’m sorry sir.” I replied.
“I’m not paying you to daydream Ms Moritz.”
I nodded, he was right. I’d brought my past into the office, or more to the point, my past had found me. Daydream or nightmare, it didn’t matter. A part of myself I had hoped was long gone had resurfaced.
“I have three meetings today, I need you to prepare for all of them. You’ll be taking notes.”
“Yes.” I squeaked back.
Tobias shook his head and picked the noted up off the desk. I was about to ask for it back, but stopped. I didn’t want to explain it, I didn’t want to have to tell him that the note was very much unwanted, that Ben’s words filled me with a dread I hadn’t felt in a long time.
“Well.” He said dryly. “Isn’t this lovely.”
I swallowed hard, thinking about Ben in any context was not lovely. I wanted to make it so I'd never seen the note, I wanted to forget he existed.
“I don’t give chances Ms Moritz, so you’d do well to understand that your private life has no place in this office. First meeting is in twenty minutes.” He dropped the note, and I watched as it floated back down to my desk.
Tears pinched at the corner of my eyes. Ben knew where I worked and for whom I worked. He had been in here, he’d left a note. Suddenly getting fired had a certain appeal to it.
“Ms Moritz.” Tobias voice called out. I looked up, forcing the tears wanting to escape back, just a few minutes longer. I could cry when Tobias was back in his office. Tobias’ own eyes were dark, he frowned and placed his hand on the frosted glass door of his icebox.
“Yes sir.” I said dutifully.
“Are you okay?” his voice was soft, and confusing. One minute he had been scolding me for being distracted and now he seemed almost concerned. I looked down at the errant piece of paper and nodded. Except I wasn’t okay. I was scared.
I looked back up, only to see the doors of Tobias office close behind him.
The note was still playing on my mind when I walked with the men for Tobias’ first meeting into his office. I sat in the corner of the room and took notes on a small laptop while they all talked. In between talk of acquisitions and money my mind wandered and I couldn’t help but wonder how Ben had found me, and why now... almost two years later. I had moved cities and colleges to avoid him. I had wanted a fresh start. I thought I’d won.
“Ms Moritz.” Tobias gruff voice again brought me from my thoughts. I looked up at him to find his office empty. “Clearly you have more important things on your mind. How about you head home.”
“Sir, please. Don’t fire me..” Not yet. I needed money, enough to run away with.
Tobias folded his arms across his chest. “Twice today you’ve been distracted. I don’t give chances Ms Moritz and you’re testing my patience.”
He was right, I was being unprofessional, Ben had that effect on me, but I didn’t want to go home, I was safer here than I was there. If Ben knew where I worked, then he knew where I lived too. I needed time to figure out what to do.
“Please.” I begged again.
Tobias let out an exasperated sigh.
“If I didn’t have meetings to attend to Ms Moritz I wouldn’t even consider it. Get out of my office and get back to the desk. Collate those notes for me as well.” I nodded and stood up, scurrying toward the door like a little mouse. “Ms Moritz.” Tobias voice called out. I stood and swallowed hard. “Where did the girl who showed up on day one with the sass go?”
I was a fraud and he knew it. I didn’t answer his question. I gathered it was rhetorical anyway and walked back into my own office and over to my desk.
I sat down and placed my fingers over the keyboard. I was skating on thin ice. One more slip up and I was sure to be a goner. I sighed and looked at the notes from the meeting, but before I could fully focus on the work in front of me, a chill ran up my spine.
“Rubes.” My blood ran cold. I didn’t look up, I knew the voice, I didn’t need to see his face. “You know. Its real easy to get up here. Those security doors stay open way too long.” Ben's voice moved through the air, assaulting my ears with it's presence.
“Why are you here.” I squeaked.
“I’ve been looking for you for a while now babe. I’m here to claim what is mine.”
Fire burned through my veins. I wasn’t his babe and I wasn’t his. I stood up and walked around the desk. I pushed my finger hard into his chest and curled my lip up. “I’m not yours, I never was. You need to leave. Now.”
Ben laughed at me, like he had many times before. He grabbed my hand without a second thought and yanked it away, pulling my entire body close to his. I tried to wriggle from his grasp, but he was stronger than me. He pushed me, hard into the wall, hard enough that one of Tobias expensive paintings shifted and fell with a loud thud onto an empty seat beside me. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for whatever was coming. But nothing happened, the weight of Ben left me with force. My eyes flew open and I was shocked to find that Tobias had Ben on the ground.
“Who the hell are you?” Tobias yelled, holding Ben down like Ben had held me down the day I ran away. I gulped and cowered back. My job was surely gone, but Tobias had saved me.
“Her boyfriend.” Ben choked back, his voice was crackly due to Tobias’ knee in the back of his neck.
“That’s funny you little shit. Because she’s my girlfriend.” Tobias spat back. “And if you ever show your face around here again… Well. You don’t want to know what I’ll do.”
Tobias’ lie took me by surprise, but I was even more surprised to find that I didn’t mind it. Maybe it would scare Ben away.
Ben looked up at me, his eyes narrowed. “You fucking slut!”
Tobias yanked Ben to his feet and pointed to the door. “Get the hell out of my building. Now. Before I call the cops.”
Ben brushed himself off and ran for the elevator. I didn’t move, I didn’t want to see him ever again, even if it was just to watch him leave. I heard the bell chime and the doors close, and only once Tobias moved away from the corridor did I let myself relax.
“Ben… I take it.” he scowled. “The author of your love note?”
I looked up at Tobias, his face was dark, and flustered. “Yes.” I murmured. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know he.. I didn’t.”
I looked down, tears spilled from my eyes like a waterfall after torrential rain. I had thought this was all over, I had thought I had my second chance. I had all but forgotten about that facet of my past. Ben had returned though, and with his presence he’d brought all the memories. I knew that despite Tobias being threatening, he wouldn’t give up. Tobias placed his hand on my elbow and led me out of my office and into his.
“I take it that your distraction wasn’t one of pleasure.” Tobias questioned, he sounded concerned in fact, all anger was gone from his voice. I shook my head. It was all I could manage, telling Tobias about my failed relationship was out of the question. He already thought I was useless, I didn’t want him to consider me weak as well.
“I’ll increase security on the building. I’m sorry he managed to get up here.” He offered softly.
“I’m not fired?” I whispered, shocked by Tobias’ response to what had just happened. He placed his hand over mine, which caught my attention. I looked up at him, and for once his eyes weren’t cold or angry, instead they matched the concern of his voice.
“Ruby, I’m an asshole… But I’m not that much of an asshole.”
The way he said my name filled me with a warmth I hadn’t felt for some time. His free hand brushed a stray hair from my face that had been stuck to my tear stained cheek.
“Thank you.” I whispered. “I’m sorry.. My private life…”
I hadn’t wanted any of this to find me here, but it had. Tobias shook his head, his right hand stil
l sat over mine and his left sat behind my ear. “I’m glad I was here.”
“I’m glad you were too.” I murmured.
Tobias opened his mouth and went to speak, but nothing came out. He sat up straight, pulling his hands away from me and tilted his head. “Collate those notes, and then head home for the day.”
I nodded and stood up before I walked out of the office, my heart was thudding hard against my chest. I didn’t ask Tobias why he had lied to Ben, because deep down I already knew. He wanted to warn him off for good, and pretending to be my boyfriend sounded like a pretty good reason for anyone to steer clear of me… But not Ben. He’d be back for me, maybe not for a while. But he’d be back.
I collated the notes for Tobias, and walked over to the office doors, before I could knock though the doors open and Tobias stood there. “Finished already?”
“Yes.” I replied. “I hope they’re good enough.”
I held the paper out to Tobias, he took it and glanced over the work. “Looks fine to me. Uh, I was just about to head out for lunch. Could I give you a ride home?”
I shook my head and took a step back. “I don’t uh, I live quite far from the office. But thank you.”
“I have time Ms Moritz.” He replied. “My next meeting isn’t until 2pm and I want to make sure you get home safely.”
I bit my lip, I wasn’t sure I could handle him thinking even less of me, which was sure to happen if he saw the slum I called home. I tried to think of an excuse to get me out of a seemingly impossible situation, but came up empty handed.
“Thank you sir.”
I followed him out of the office and into the elevator. He hit the basement button and we waited in silence as the doors closed. Neither one of us spoke as the elevator descended to the lowest floor. The doors popped open and Tobias ushered me out.
When we made it to his car, a matte black BMW i8. He’d clearly spent big money on it, nothing was stock. He pulled a small black key ring from his pocket and hit a button before opening the door. It opened up and out, butterfly doors I remembered my petrol head father teaching me when I was younger.
