Work With Me (Office Love Book 1)

by R S Burton

"I said what I did because I was scared. truth is I didn't know about her proposition until I arrived for the dinner meeting at her apartment. I was naive, caught off guard by what she was suggesting, but I never even contemplated saying yes."

  I tried to ignore the rush of warmth that encircled my heart while confusion racked my brain. She had been in for two meetings. She had basically agreed to becoming a client,she just had to sign the contract. If he hadn't slept with her, then why was he about to gain her business?

  "Turns out declining her impressed her." he replied, answering my unasked question. "The reason I declined her even more so."

  "The reason?" I whispered.

  Tobias eyes danced and he smiled again and "You." He breathed out.

  His eyes cut through my confused exterior exposing my vulnerable heart. I furrowed my brow and bit my lip.

  "Me?" I mouthed.

  "I mentioned that I was seeing someone, even though you and I were off, It just felt wrong. Then, on monday morning, she saw you.The way we looked at one another apparently clued her in. She asked me and I... couldn't deny it."

  "I'm confused."

  "I know, baby... I know. I've been unfair on you, and I'd understand if you want nothing to do with me ever again.

  The way he said baby, sent chills up my spine. He hadn't used a term of endearment like that before and I didn't know what it meant. All I knew is that what I wanted didn’t factor into the situation. This was about what I needed, what we needed. I needed to be loved back and he needed to learn how to let down his walls. I knew he still wanted me, and I wanted him, but without love it was just lust, and that wasn’t enough for either of us. It seemed we were always going to end back in the same place… at an impasse divided by an imaginary trench where the shadows were filled with a darkness Tobias didn’t seem to be able to share and a love for him that I couldn’t stop.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Tears rolled down my cheeks, I looked away from tobias, out the window to my right and tried to stem the flow but it was useless. I was an emotional wreck in his presence and it had to end.

  "I can't keep pretending anymore. I don't want to."

  "I don't want you to pretend either Ruby." he replied. "I don't want to pretend anymore either."

  He moved across the couch, crossing the abyss between us and he picked my hand up with his.

  "Ruby. I'm in love with you."

  My heart burned as his admittance engulfed my entire being. The man whose walls I had consistently failed to bring down loved me?

  "But all those times, when I told you how I felt..." I stopped. "You said nothing. I thought..."

  "I was scared. I'm still scared." he replied. "I've never felt these feelings before. But from the moment you walked into my life I've been at odds with myself and everything I've ever known."

  I listened as he spoke, aware that despite his fear, he was opening up, letting me in and in that moment I was all in.

  "You see, sex was always on my terms. No touching, no romance, nothing intimate at all. It was a means to an end. A way to rid myself of a feeling I felt guilty for having in the first place." his voice was low and he looked up at me with oversized almost innocent eyes. “Then I met you.” he whispered. “The moment I saw you, I knew I was in trouble. I wanted to make love to you against my desk for cripes sake. I’m not used to thinking or feeling that way, like I said before you, sex was a means to an end… literally. I didn’t fantasize, and I sure as heck didn’t want to make love. But you distracted me, you woke me up.”

  “You were mean to me the moment you saw me.” I whispered, remembering that first day vividly. He’d told me I’d be gone in a week.

  “I wanted you to run.” he replied. “But you refused, which only made me want you more. Ruby, like I said, I don’t touch women more than I have to in bed, and they sure as hell don’t touch me… but with you, I couldn’t stop myself or you and I didn’t want to.”

  "So we were different than the others, what we had…” I stopped and let out a soft sigh. “Have?" I whispered correcting myself.

  My feelings weren’t unrequited?

  "We were on another level Ruby. In fact..." he gulped. "That day, when I kissed you... It was the first day I'd ever kissed anyone. Ever."

  A smile crept across my face. Despite the fact Tobias had been with many women, I was his first kiss. I lifted my free hand to his face. "I was really your first kiss?"

  He nodded, curving his cheek into my hand.

  "Why?" I whispered.

  Tobias closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. He tensed immediately. The darkness within him wasn’t without reason and the thought terrified me.

  "I don't want you think of me differently." He whispered, his voice meek and unlike him

  "You have to trust me Tobias. I love you."

  He sat up straight and caught my hand with his as it fell from his face. He nodded and opened his mouth.

  “When my mom died Dad was really busy with the business, and he couldn’t be around so much.” Tobias sounded lost, like talking about this was taking him back there. “So when I was 6 he hired a nanny and at first she was really nice, I felt safe, cared for…”

  He stopped and took a long slow deep breath. He let go of my hands and pulled me into a hug, resting my head on his chest “But then her husband died when I was seven... and she had a mental breakdown. One that no one saw, not until it was too late anyway. I remember it vividly, the day everything changed even though I've tried to bury it time and time again. I was in my room playing with my spiderman action figures when she comes and tells me that she needs to give me something all Mom’s give to their sons, and of course I listened, because for the better part of a two years she had treated me like I was her son."

  I didn't like where this was going. I looked up at Tobias, surprised to find his normally cool exterior fractured. Tears filled his eyes. He looked down at me and kissed my forehead.

  "Except she did things, things I didn’t understand. Things I can’t even explain.” He stopped speaking as his voice shook. “I thought I was meant to do it, even though it felt wrong, even though I wanted to run away until she left me alone.”

  The revelation pierced my core, splicing my heart like a ninja's sword. Suddenly things about Tobias I hadn't been able to understand made a little more sense. My heart broke for him and the childhood he had lost and the ramifications it had caused his life so far.

  “Tobias.” I whispered through a veil of tears. I held on to him tightly, I wanted protect him from his past, even though I knew I couldn’t stop what had already happened.

  “It continued for a while... Until I knew it was wrong for sure. I felt stupid, but I told my Dad… who had her arrested and charged. She didn’t deny anything…” He scoffed.

  I hated the woman who had damaged Tobias so massively. I had never hated anyone before, not even Ben… But I hated her… someone I had never met so deeply It hurt my insides to even think of her. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain it brought Tobias.

  “Time passed and Dad told me to move on, forget it ever happened and live my life. But I was a mess. I had panic attacks and nightmares for years. It wasn’t until I was 17 that I found a way to compress everything, to shut it all out. I closed off, became cold. Stopped caring.”

  He had been so young when he closed off, still a child. A lost child filled with a pain he couldn’t compute.

  “But, I still had a libido, one I hated, but I still needed relief. I just couldn’t let anyone touch me or get close at all. So I hired hookers.” He stopped and looked at me, as if he was gauging my response. My heart hurt that he had been through so much. But I wasn't jealous, nor could I judge. He had tried to deal with pain he couldn't comprehend in ways that seemed to make sense. “Over time I let myself bring women home, I found that just being who I was, was enough to make girls look at me. Of course, on some level they were all hoping to get pregnant or make me fall for them, but all I wanted was to get off, rid mysel
f of these feelings I hated and that’s what I did and have done ever since. Over and over and over again. I guess I was running on a really shitty autopilot."

  he stopped and lifted my chin, placing a kiss on my lips. "Am I overwhelming you?"

  He had smashed his walls down and let me in. I couldn’t lie he had been through so much more than I ever could have anticipated, but I wasn’t overwhelmed… I was thankful he trusted me enough to let me in. My eyes filled with tears of pain for him, but I shook my head.

  "No." I whispered. "Not at all."

  He nodded then continued.

  “A few years before Dad died, he made me go to the shrink, to assure him I was of sound mind and able to take over the business should he pass away. The guy you’ve heard me talk to on the phone… Doctor Gertison. For a long time I pretended I was okay, and although he told my father I was capable of taking over the business. We both knew I was still fucked up.” he stopped, smiled slightly then continued. "he spent years trying to help me, but it wasn't until you came along that we could work through any of it."

  "So the nightmares. they were because of me?" I struggled to reign in the guilt. I’d helped Tobais to feel again… the good and the bad.

  Tobias clenched his jaw he looked down. “Everything is because of her.” He replied. “I’d be a different person if she hadn’t….” He stopped and let out a shallow breath. “But they started after we… after I let my guard down… even just a little bit around you. I guess there wasn't enough room for the pain I was hiding and the love I was feeling.”

  My heart dropped. I’d hurt him, he hadn’t been ready for my touch or love and now he was suffering.

  “Tobias, I'm sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you."

  "Baby, you helped heal me." he soothed. "at least enough to get me to see that the way I was living wasn't really living at all."

  "But I dredged up all those memories." My eyes watered, and my heart hurt.

  "Memories I needed to face in order to move on. Don't you get it Ruby... I wasn't ever the lion protecting the territory... I was the territory."

  "And your pain was the lion." I whispered, finally understanding his analogy

  He nodded, smiling. "And your love was the lioness and only one could win."

  "Who won?"

  "You. Ruby always you.” He pulled me in so tight I could barely breath, but I didn’t care. “I'm scared of being in love, but I'm more scared of a life without you in it."

  My heart raced. The moment I had been hoping for was here and while it was laced with the sadness of the trauma of Tobias’ past, it was full of hope for the future… our future.

  "This is really happening right? I haven't slipped into some kind of broken heart delusion have I?" I whispered while looking up at Tobias. he smiled and cupped my face.

  "Tell me if this feels real."

  His lips connected with mine, and for the first time he let himself go completely. I could feel the love exuding from him and flowing through me. My heart raced thumping hard against the walls of my breastbone. This was real, our love was real.

  “You told me that first day you started working for me that I was going to need to take my chances on you.” He whispered.

  “Yes, I remember.” I smiled.

  “Can you take a chance on me?”

  Chapter Twenty Three

  I moved into him, curving my body against his until we were almost one. I knew his confession of love didn’t mean we’d waltz off into the sunset, skipping merrily to the sound of a love song direct from the top 20. We were going to have to fight to stay together, our combined issues were still works in progress, we still had healing to do, wounds to cauterize. It wasn’t going to be easy, but that didn’t mean I was going to walk away. I had fallen for him, and against all odds he had fallen for me too.

  “Yes, Tobias. I can take a chance on us.” I whispered.

  “I was really hoping you’d say that.” he murmured, nestling his face against the top of my head.

  “You thought I might say no?” I whispered.

  “After the way I’ve treated you. I was expecting the worst and hoping for the best.” He replied.

  “Well I’m glad you still had hope.”

  “Not until I met you. You gave me hope.”

  I tilted my head up toward him, he was smiling and for the first time I realised it was without fear. He seemed free. I placed my hand on his cheek and nodded.

  “You gave me hope too.” I whispered. “I never thought I’d love anyone after what happened… I didn’t want to get hurt again.”

  Tobias frowned. “I’ve hurt you though.”

  I shook my head and turned to face him, momentarily pulling myself from his embrace. I placed my other hand his other cheek. “We’ve hurt each other, but that isn’t the point.” I murmured. “The point is that you can’t control everything, sometimes life is going to hurt and if you live in fear of that, you’re not living.”

  Tobias’ frown disappeared in place of smile so wide is reached his light blue eyes and lit his entire face up so much that I felt emotional being privy to his happiness. He had been inside a shell, hiding from a world he could hold in the palm of his hand, choosing only to experience a bare minimum. But I could see the curiosity peeking through now, he wanted to live… and he wanted me to be there alongside him.

  “Kiss me.” I pleaded softly as I turned my body and lifted my leg over his. I sat down on his lap facing him. I let my hands fall to his chest pressing against him so slight that as soon as he went to give me what I asked for my elbows collapsed under the pressure of him pulling me in closer. Our lips met without another word, like colliding stars the room was suddenly filled with an explosion, only this was an explosion of burning love that had been repressed for far too long.

  Tobias’ hands moved up from my waist, to my shoulders, then finally to my neck. He held me, curling his fingers through my hair, almost as though he was trying to tangle himself up in me. I moved against him, which garnered a tense groan to escape his mouth as we continued to kiss. His tongue flickered against mine, and then he pulled back, resting his heavy lidded focus on me.

  “You’re killing me.” He whispered lifting his hips slightly, I felt him through the fabric of his pants and mine. The heat was profound, and his size as considerable as it had always been, but the desperation in his voice seemed deeper somehow, want had become need and lust had become love.

  “Take me to bed.” I whispered back. “Now.”

  Tobias didn’t answer me with words, instead he stood, taking me with him. I wrapped my legs around his waist while he held my waist and walked through my apartment. He pushed my bedroom door open. Then set me down on the ground and our eyes met. My heart sank as I saw the uncertainty in his eyes. Had he changed his mind?

  “Are you alright…” he whispered.

  I smiled he was worried about me, but he needn’t be. All that mattered was right now. I lifted my hands to my shirt and began to unbutton it. Allowing the soft floaty fabric to slide from my skin and fall gently to the floor. Eye contact still locked, I reached my arms behind my back and unclasped my lacy white bra. I let it fall to the floor as well, while my arms hung at the side of my body. I smiled and nodded.

  “I’m alright.”

  Tobias let out a breath, the fear within him dissipated in front of my eyes. He let his eyes wander downward, absorbing me with his gaze. He lifted his head and eyes to meet mine once more, and he stepped forward to close the gap between us.

  He placed his hands in mine, entwining our fingers together. For a moment he stood there, neither one of us saying a word. He tugged gently and it was all the encouragement I needed. I closed the remainder of the distance between us, pressing my topless upper half against his still very clothed body. I lifted my hands to the lapels of his suit jacket. The feel of the fabric was nice beneath my fingers, but right now it was just a barrier between him and I, an unneeded waste of space. I pulled it off, discarding it on the floor by my own s
hirt. I looked down to work on his buttons, but it was less than five seconds before he lifted my chin upward, planting a long lingering kiss on my lips, momentarily wiping my mind of anything other than his mouth on mine. He used his strength to walk us both across the floor toward the bed. We shared breathless kisses, while he pulled his hands from mine to undo the rest of the buttons on his shirt. Once it to, found it’s place on the floor I rest my hands against the warmth of his body and let myself melt into him.

  “Ruby.” he mumbled. “I need you.”

  I nodded and pulled back from our kiss. “I need you too.”

  I removed my pants and panties, standing in front of him unapologetically naked. His eyes gazed over my body before he turned to focus on the button of his suit pants. His clear arousal sprung out once released from the confines of his clothes, I reached out wrapping my hands around his length, surprised by the heat radiating from it, so hot it was almost like fire. He grunted, moving with my touch for a moment before lifting me onto the edge of the bed. He hovered above me, our eyes locked. His lips curved into a mischievous smile, sending a thrill through my body that stopped right at my sensitive center. I let my head fall back as moan exited my mouth and filled the silent room.

  Before I could recover from his gaze his tongue flicked against my left nipple, while his fingers tweaked the right. I arched, unable to dilute the reaction my body was having in response to his touch. I reached out, grasping at whatever I could hold on to. One hand grabbed a fistful of blanket, the other held onto the heat of Tobias’ back.

  “Now.” I whispered. “Please.”

  Tobias lifted his head and pressed his lips against mine. He let out a deep, but unsteady breath as our bodies moved against one another. With a powerful thrust he slid inside me, filling me in a way that only he had ever been able to.

  The sensation was earth shattering, to the point I could barely remember who or where I was, until our eyes met again. I was with the man I had fallen in love with, who against all odds had fallen back.