“Okay… aside from the guilt. Do you feel passion? When you were still together, how did you feel? Did you just want to talk and be friends and need his love? What did you need or want from him?
“You sure you want to know?”
“Yes.”
“Honestly? I wanted to fuck him all the time. I wanted to be balls deep in him or him in me. But mainly I wanted to do him. To claim him. I know this might be too much. But you asked. I loved sucking his cock. I mean really loved it. I hate doing it to other men. But he was so good at sucking mine too. He was like a woman in some ways, he was gentle and knew exactly what I needed all the time. Other men aren’t the same. I love fucking men but it doesn’t feel right. Kyle was the only male I felt right bottoming for. He was tender and always made sure I was well lubed and I kind of felt special. Shit. I know that sounds retarded. I’m chicking out talking about this. But it’s true. You’re the only person I would ever tell this too.”
“Well I am glad you told me. And two more questions and I’ll stop pestering you and we can get ready and leave. We’ll come back and read the letters tomorrow before the show. I gotta feed these babies before we leave tonight.” I pat my tummy.
“Okay sounds good.” He grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers together. Oh, I love my best friend. My very gay best friend. He’s gayer than he knows. But that’s okay; I still love him with all my heart.
“When you were not with Kyle, did you think about him? And if he was to date another person how would that make you feel? Oh, shit one more. Sorry. When you two were alone in bed how’d you feel with him? What did you do?”
“Okay Em. I think that’s like four more,” he laughs. “But if wasn’t with him I’d be thinking about having sexy time with him. Unless I was with you and I didn’t think about him much at all. Dating another person? I dunno. I guess I don’t like the thought of him dating another but he was my first. So I don’t think my feelings on the matter should be different. I mean how many people who lose their virginity want their first love to be with someone else?” he shrugs.
“You just called him your first love.”
“I did?” he asks and looks deep in thought.
“Yeah I guess he was in a way. And when we were alone in bed? We cuddled and talked a lot. We were best friends like you and I, except I fucked him almost every day. How’d I feel? Shit you really are making me chick out today. I guess there’s no better person to do it with.” He squeezes my hand that he’s holding. “I felt loved by him. I still do in a way. I liked being with him. That’s why it hurt to leave him to move to L.A but what choice did I have? I wasn’t going to move and try to have some sort of long-distance thing and I wasn’t looking for a commitment. We tried to be friends over the phone and internet and when I went back to visit my mom we’d always catch up. Which always ended up me fucking him like ten times and I’d sucking him off and then we’d part ways.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“What’s what you thought?” he asks confused.
“You loved him and you still love him. Not the love you have for me. Do I think you love me? Yes. But not that same kind of love you have for him. I think you’re confused about your feelings for women and men. You think you will eventually feel what you felt with Kyle with a woman. I’m the closest thing to that. So you cling to me thinking it could be the passionate, I-want-to-fuck-you-all-the –time kind of love. It’s not like that between us and you know it could never be. You have it with Kyle and I think you want it back but you’re afraid of commitment. But you’re almost thirty, Stace. Not eighteen anymore. If he still feels the same way about you, which I am sure he does, I think you should try to work it out somehow.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know.”
I know I’ve got him. Hook, line and sinker. He knows I’m right. Shit, I know I’m right.
“If I was to get naked in front of you right now would you get hard and want to fuck me?” I ask. This is my final test.
“No. Probably not. I’d want to caress your skin and hug you but not fuck you.”
“But if Kyle were standing in front, you know his dark black hair hanging over his shoulders, his thick body, his big cock heavy and hard between his legs What would you do? How would you feel?”
“I’d get hard… Shit just thinking about his body makes me hard. And I’d fuck him. I wouldn’t have to feel or think about it. I’d just do it and he’d let me.”
“See, now you know.”
His eyes widen and I think the revelation finally hits him. He knows I am right. And it’s about damn time. Maybe he will finally man up and be with Kyle once and for all.
Chapter Twenty One
After Stacy and I talked we went about our business to get ready to for our first concert back on the tour. We bathed. He threw on a black T and Jeans with his black boots. The way he dresses is like he’s already a part of Stricken, minus the tattoos, that is. I let him pick my outfit for the night. Which I think kind of made his day after all the hot and heavy we talked about before our showers.
Although I’m not excited to be standing here stage side in this get up. When we were back in Indiana and we did all that shopping. We happened to drop by a Hot Topic store. It’s a total Toys R Us for rockers and emo peeps. Stacy wanted to pick up a few band T’s. But once we got inside he saw this ridiculous girl’s outfit on a manikin. He felt up the floor model and pretended to hump her leg. I laughed so hard I cried. Needless to say I somewhere along those lines made a joke about how I was jealous the manikin was getting more attention than me. And he said something along the lines “Well if you’d wear this I’d hump your leg.” So somewhere in my laughing stupidity we bought the damn thing in my size along with the fishnet stockings and all. I promised I’d wear it two times in my life and after that it was going in the trash. So apparently tonight was the night to sport my new ensemble for the world. At least I fit in with the rockers now in my red plaid miniskirt that has two black buckles on the front and I have on those oh so fabulous fishnet tights and a black leather sweetheart corset with ruffles at the top and black close toe heels. I look sexy in a hooker kind of way.
Some band by the name of Dirty Harry or something like that just finished their set and now our roadies are fixing the stage for Stricken to play. I haven’t seen any of the guys today. After our talk, we ordered room service while Stacy helped me get dolled up in this super slutty outfit. Secretly I’ve been hoping to see Johnathan cause after this morning I need to show him a little something sexy. I know that’s bad and uncalled for but I could give a shit. As long as I don’t feed the hungry bitch between my legs, it’s all good.
“You know that outfit could be used for roleplaying in the bedroom,” Stacy says naughtily, twirling one of my curls with his finger.
“You know your balls would probably be better left intact,” I sass and grab him where it counts. He jumps a little. But I’m not mean about it.
“You’re a little feisty tonight babe,” he smiles and kisses my cheek. I release his sac.
“All dolled up looking like a sexy schoolgirl. How could I not?” I tease with a little wiggle.
“You know, when D sees you it might be a problem keeping his hands off your hot pregnant body,” Stacy say, laughing and runs his finger down the middle of my corset to the top of my skirt.
“Well, you’re my date tonight so I think I should be fine. We just have to keep the whole no alcohol thing under wraps somehow. I can handle D.”
The set is finally assembled and the roadies have our guys all set up to play tonight. The twenty thousand fans are roaring louder than I remember and the chanting is just begun with thousands of fist pumps going and fans yelling ‘Stricken, Stricken, Stricken.’
Deacon joins the stage first, from the opposite side from where we are standing. He looks our way and his chocolaty eyes widen. Yep, that’s right D, I look like a hooker tonight. He points his finger at me. I raise an eyebrow to see what he might actual say.
He mouths ‘You’ and points his finger again in my direction. ‘Turn’ and he turns around. I laugh. ‘Me.’ He points to his chest with his thumb. ‘On’ and he grabs his dick in his jeans.
I blush with a smile, roll my eyes and shake my head like he’s a moron. He shrugs mouthing ‘What?’
I wave him off and turn to face Stacy who is in the middle of a conversation with a stagehand and completely missed the Deacon Mime show.
“You missed it,” I say as he ushers off the stagehand.
“Huh? What’d I miss?”
I explain Deacon’s little display.
“I told you.” He tugs my hair. “You’re hot. And that’s why Frankie just came to me. Apparently there’s a famous ad executive in the VIP seats tonight that saw you standing up here. Wanted to request you accompany him to the after party tonight as his date.”
My mouth drops open and my forehead crinkles, confused. “What?”
“You heard me. I don’t know which executive it is. Frankie didn’t give me a name. He just said that that if you agreed the executive said they’d make it worth your while,” he explains.
“Well I don’t want to screw some ad executive because he thinks I look like a glorified prostitute,” I argue.
“You don’t look like a hooker Em, you look hot. The perfect image of a rocker’s girlfriend except you’re single and the way Frankie put it, it’s not about sex. He wants to give you something in return for a date to the after party and that will probably have something to do with extra publicity for the band. So it’s like a job proposal except you date somebody to help the band,” he explains. His tone is even and I can tell he’s not trying to push me into doing this but I get the feeling he wants me to.
“So, basically I’m whored out for the night and the band is my pimp?” I bark with my hand on my hip. I’m going to do the damn thing. I just want him to understand that I’m not a whore for hire all the time. This is a onetime deal and that’s it. If my ass didn’t wear this get up, I wouldn’t be worrying about this. I guess wearing sluttier clothes does get you more attention.
I turn back around and all the guys are on stage. Johnathan enters from the opposite side of the stage as did the rest of the band and belts out his first song of the night.
“I’ll do it. Tell Frankie to go tell this ad executive I’ll escort him to the after party tonight and be his date but nothing more, nothing less.”
“Thank you babe.” Stacy kisses my cheek excitedly and runs off like he just won a million dollars.
After two songs go by and I’m shaking my groove thang like a go-go dancer on the side of the stage. I love their music. I missed it the whole week we were in Indiana. The song Tantalizing ends and Johnathan moves into Broken Dreams. He gazes over at me. This is the first time he’s seen me since this morning on the bus. His eyes widen just like D’s did when he sees my outfit. I shrug and press my knees together and bite my lip innocently, batting my eyes at him, teasing and taunting him. This is what he deserves for showing me his cock this morning. I’ve had that damn image burned into my retinas all fucking day long. It will take days to scrub it out of my brain.
He snatches the mic off the stand, singing, he walks my way slowly. His beautiful green eyes are glowing while he makes love to the mic with his beautiful voice. His eyes are traveling up and down me, shivers travel the length of my body. It feels like he’s fucking me with his eyes and I can feel my greedy whore waking up. She’s craving his attention.
I know he can’t do anything while he’s on stage but turn me on. Which is working. That mouth of his is moving to the lyrics but his eyes are undressing me. Oh god! His eyes land on my tits and I think I might actually come. He needs to stop this. Jesus, he’s sexy in a white button down dress shirt untucked with a giant skull adoring the back of it. His sleeves are rolled up, exposing his hot tattoos and the top two buttons are open. I lick my lips. The pulse in my clit is throbbing. I run my fingers through my hair. How does this man do this to me?
He turns his body to the audience but I can see it perfectly. His eyes are locked into mine as his finger runs down his chest and pops two more buttons open on his shirt. The crowd goes wild.
If he’s going to tease me and the women in the crowd, I am going to do this too, dammit! I bend down and slowly sensually run my fingers from my ankle to my knee, I circle my finger around my kneecap, my eyes still locked in his and gently make my way up to the hem of my skirt. Sliding my hand into my inner thigh I move up and up until I cup my sex and give him an “O” face with a sexy grin. He misses a word in the song and the guys just realize what he’s looking at. Keith is giving me a cut-the-shit look.
But I’m not about to stop now; he wants it. I can see the lust pooling in his gaze and the slight outline of his hard cock in his jeans. Keith takes center stage to take up the space Johnathan is ignoring thanks to me. I pop my finger into my mouth and slowly suck it. His eyes grow wider if that’s possible then they quickly shift into something dark and feral. He bends over the kicks off his boots and the entire crowd is screaming his name. He breaks our gaze and looks out to the crowd ripping his shirt open. Buttons fly everywhere. Women are screaming and panties start flying onto the stage in mass quantities. I can’t help but laugh at the stupidity of those women. But I’m not any better. Making love to my finger to turn on a rocker that I just so happen to be carrying the babies of. Not very smart. But it’s sure as hell fun!
“What the fuck is going on?” Stacy asks, returning to my side. He looks on stage and sees Johnathan’s shirt wide open, his shoes off and it’s hard not to recognize a boner when you see one. “What the hell is he thinking? Women are going to have a poster of this on their bedroom walls by the end of the week!”
I laugh. “He wants to play dirty with me so I’ll show him dirty.” I twirl my hair in my fingers.
“Oh, I should have known you were the cause for this. Look at you.” He barks out a laugh. “This is the first time in four years he’s shown off his rockin’ bod at a concert.”
I shrug with a naughty smile. “Well after this morning’s stunt I thought it only appropriate he gets paid back in full.”
“What happened this morning?” he asks, truly curious.
So I tell him the whole story, leaving nothing out. And he laughs the whole time.
“Yeah you’re right he deserves this.” He kisses my cheek and smacks my ass. “You’re fine as hell and I am sure it’ll kill him if you dance in this get up tonight with your new date,” he whispers into my ear.
What an idea! What an awesome idea!
Chapter Twenty Two
We listen to the rest of the concert and Frankie the lanky stagehand comes to claim me right after the last song finishes. It’s a good thing too because I’m sure Johnathan is none too happy with me turning him on while he was on stage tonight. The rest of the concert went off without a hitch and for the screaming fan’s Johnathan removed his sweaty shirt and chucked it onto the audience after the concert. They went wild and I think I saw somebody punch another person to get it. It’s like damn hyenas fighting over the last piece of meat.
“Madam, I am to take you to the limo that is waiting for you outside,” Frankie says, walking ahead of me.
“Where is James? Is he riding along?” I ask. I know the rules that James stated to me this morning where I go he goes. Unless something changed.
“He’s outside waiting. He will be riding along with you to the club for the after party.”
“Is my date already in the limo or will I be meeting him there?” I gulp nervously. If James is there that means this dude whoever he is can’t try to fuck me in the backseat without some serious ass whopping.
“Yes. Now come, they are waiting for you.”
We reach a big reinforced steel door and Frankie opens it for me. James is just on the other side, dressed in all black waiting for me.
“Hi James.”
He bows his head. “Ms. Bronwyn. This way.” He gestures wit
h his hand.
I follow his lead and he opens the door to a shiny black state of the art limo it’s beautiful and glossy. Total luxury.
I duck in and he shuts me in. I turn my head to find an attractive woman sitting in the seat across from me.
“Hi?” I mutter with a faked smile.
“Hello Emily. I’m Claire,” the long shiny dark brown haired, big breasted woman with baby blue eyes introduces. She looks like a sexy model with curves in all the right places. If I was a man I would pick her out of the crowd and take her home with me.
“Hi.” I nod and smile politely. “Are we waiting for your boss?” I ask.
“No. Didn’t Frankie tell you?”
“Tell me what? I didn’t speak with Frankie, my boss Stacy did,” I say softly.
This woman is so beautiful. I feel like a slob being in the same car with her. I readjust myself in my seat. I must look ridiculous to her in these stupid fishnets and whore outfit. She probably thinks her boss hired me by the hour.
She giggles and it’s so cute. I wish I giggled that adorably. “Oh dear.” She giggles again and covers her pouty mouth with her perfectly manicured hand.
“I don’t know how to put this, Emily. But…” she runs her hand through her beautiful long brown hair. It’s so thick and shiny I wonder what kind of shampoo she uses? “I’m your date.” She blurts with a sly smile and flickering blue eyes.
“What?” I ask quietly, my tone doused with confusion. “Do you need me to do some work for you and you thought you couldn’t call the office to set up an appointment? I know our schedules are busy but I could do videoconferencing if you needed anything.”
She smiles softly. “No. No.” she shakes her head. “I’m a lesbian. I wanted to meet you, meet you. Not work stuff.” She shifts in her seat like she’s uncomfortable. Her breasts press tightly against her white button down blouse.
“Oh. But why? Have you looked at me?” I run my hand along my side. I am not beautiful. Not like her.
Stricken Rock Series: Complete Box Set Page 19
