Immortal of My Dreams

by Alexis McNeil

  I grew closer to Grant. He was a good friend even though I knew he still had deep feelings for me. He hid his feelings well, but I still felt them when he’d stare at me a little too long, or accidentally brush up against me when he walked by me. He seemed to always be near and we played chess often to help the gray, dismal winter days pass.

  “Och, I won again, lass!” Grant yelled cheerfully taking my king.

  “I definitely let you win this time,” I said smiling. Grant let out a loud laugh which echoed through the great hall.

  “Weel then, what do ye say aboot playing again? If ye win, I’ll persuade the cook ta make ye’re favorite sweet. If I win…I get ta ha’ a private dinner with ye in my solar.”

  I should tell Grant that my favorite dessert was Dairy Queen ice cream cake. I grinned, knowing I’d win this game. His moves were simple and easy to predict. I really did let him win the previous game, but I definitely would not dine alone with him, especially in his solar. “Fine, let’s do this, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!” We began to set up the chessboard once more when the great hall doors swung open. A cold damp air followed the three Immortals walking in. The smile on my face disappeared as I saw Merrick walk down the steps and cross the great hall along with Alexander and Gideon, none of them noticing Grant and me in the corner at the chess table. My heart beat so hard I thought it would beat right out of my chest.

  “Why did those filthy beasts come back,” muttered Grant. “They should ha’ stayed away. Everything is better without them around.” I stared after the men until they walked through a far door, disappearing into the corridor. “Alright, Jillian, let’s see what ye got.” I turned my gaze toward Grant and realized he was ready to start the game.

  “You go first,” I said as my mind drifted toward Merrick. Grant smiled making his first move after careful calculations. I picked up one of my pawns and moved him. Grant made a countermove. I bit my lip as I stared at the game pieces, but try as I might, I only saw Merrick. “Grant,” I said glancing across the hall, “can we continue this game later?”

  Grant glared over at the far doorway where the Immortals had just walked through. “Whatever ye wish, Jillian,” he said quietly.

  I went up to my chamber requesting a bath, knowing Merrick would be at dinner. I wanted to look my best. I actually got a second chance, by some miracle, to explain things to Merrick. I didn’t want to ruin it, everything had to be perfect.

  My bath arrived and I dropped my gown down into a crumpled heap on the floor. Sinking down into the hot steaming bathwater, sighing as the scent of rosehips filled the air around me. A smile crossed my mouth when I placed my hands over the small bump protruding from my stomach. If anyone caught sight of my bare stomach, they would know I carried a child without a doubt.

  After a nice hot soak, scrubbing clean, and washing my hair, I stood up to get out. Glancing around for my towel, I realized I forgot to bring one out of the dressing room. I stepped out of the tub taking a few steps toward the dressing room, when without warning, my chamber door swung open. Merrick appeared in the doorway. My eyes widened as water dripped down from my body forming a puddle on the stone floor at my feet. The side of Merrick’s jaw ticked as he took a step into the room and closed the door softly behind him. My hair hung over my breasts and down over my stomach as I covered the rest with my hands. He walked over to me and I cautiously took a step back. I couldn’t form words, but from the look in his eyes, I didn’t need to.

  * * * * *

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  This wasn’t supposed to be how this reunion went, me looking like a wet dog and my secret pretty much out in the open. Suddenly, my heel slipped on the wet stone floor, causing me to lose my balance. My arms flailed wildly around me as I tried to keep from falling. Merrick jumped forward catching me, wrapping his much missed arms tightly around me. He stared down into my eyes as he held me secure in his firm embrace. His gaze drifted over my now exposed chest and stomach. I saw the exact moment he noticed my “secret”.

  Slowly his hand moved down from my hip and splayed over the bump at my stomach. “’Tis true,” he barely whispered looking back up into my eyes. “Jillian—.“ He paused for a long moment. “Is it truly my child?” he asked, barely audible. My chin began to quiver and tears threatened to fall. I nodded. Merrick sunk to the floor with me still cradled tightly in his lap. His head fell, resting on my chest. “I’m so sorry,” he choked out against my skin. Tears ran down my cheeks as I slowly brought my hand up running it through his thick hair.

  A sob escaped me when I realized how badly I needed to touch him, any part of him. I didn’t want to ask, but I had to know. “W-why do you believe me now?” I asked softly.

  Merrick’s head came up. He studied me. Slowly, he brought his knuckles up caressing the side of my face, wiping the tears away. “The entire time I was gone, Gideon hounded me. He, the peacemaker, actually raised his sword ta me, threatening me. For him ta do that, which is out o’ character for him, caused me ta stop and think. As I thought aboot what he told me, I realized this was something the Guardians would do. They dinna want ta risk losing another Immortal.” Merrick lowered his head avoiding my gaze. “If I became mortal,” he continued softly, “at least they’d ha’ another Immortal ta fill my place…our child.”

  “I won’t let Rowena take the baby,” I cried. “I won’t!”

  Merrick quickly glanced back up at me. “Nay lass, the Guardians will ne’er take our bairn,” he said fervently. “I willna let them…even if I die trying.” Slowly, Merrick rubbed his thumb over my lips. “I’ll ne’er let them hurt our bairn…or ye, Jillian.” He closed his eyes releasing a sigh. “I dinna care what happened that day with Grant. I need ye with me.”

  I smiled, nodding as more tears rushed out. Merrick smiled and leaned down, hesitating before he gently caressed my mouth. He pulled back and said, “I’ve thought aboot doing that for a long time, lass.” Abruptly, he leaned forward and claimed my mouth with more urgency. He leaned me down against the rug in front of the fire and sat back on his heels as his gaze roved over me. “Ye’re more bootiful than I remember,” he said softly, gently running his hand down between my breasts, down my stomach, stopping at the bulge that was our unborn child. He slowly leaned down and placed a gentle kiss upon my stomach. “I’ve ne’er had a father, nor do I ken what love is, Jillian, but I promise I’ll try ta be the best da for our babe.”

  A smile crossed my face. I raised my hand running my palm across the dark stubble on the side of his face. “You’ll be perfect.”

  Merrick sighed and gazed into the blazing fire. “I-I willna be perfect unless—.“

  “What?”

  He slowly turned and met my gaze. “Do ye believe ye’re my soul mate, Jillian? Truly feel there’s no one else in this world for ye but me?”

  I sat up staring into his deep blue eyes knowing there was no other man for me than him. Slowly, I leaned forward and captured his soft mouth. I felt his hands hesitate, then slide up my sides, over my breasts, and cradle my head. Next thing I knew, I no longer was the one giving the kiss. Merrick took over sliding his tongue into my mouth in a seductive dance. He pulled back and we both gasped for air. “There’s no one else, but you,” I whispered.

  He moved his hand behind my neck laying me back down on the carpet. Hastily, he pulled his tunic up over his head and tugged his boots off. He lay overtop me as I wrapped my arms around his muscular torso, running my nails down his back. He found my mouth again and kissed me until I was intoxicated with him. My hands moved down to his chausses and quickly fumbled to untie his pants. He growled into my mouth when my fingers brushed across his growing arousal. Suddenly, he yanked my arms up over my head and held them with one hand. “Ye’ll be the death o’ me,” he said in a gruff voice. “I’m trying ta make this last and ye’re no helping.”

  “It’s been too long already.”

  Merrick cursed and released my hands which immediately went back to work unleashing his strainin
g sex. His hands moved underneath me, lifting my hips up toward him. With a slow steady push, he buried himself deep inside me. I pulled his head down, kissing him, feeling his love consume my soul. We moved together simultaneously, until I felt molten heat run through my veins causing a frenzy in the pit of my stomach. I grabbed onto his shoulders digging my nails into his back when he captured my cry with his mouth. He began thrusting in earnest, increasing his tempo. Merrick growled and I felt his muscles tense as his magnificent body shook with release.

  As we lay intertwined on the carpet, I couldn’t help but to feel the issue wasn’t entirely settled between us. “Merrick, I want you to know that Grant and I are only friends. Nothing ever happened between us.”

  I felt his body stiffen. “Lass, I told ye whatever happened, I’m forgetting.”

  I began to sit up as Merrick moved off of me and rolled to his side looking up at me. I closed my eyes for a moment. I had him once more. I didn’t want to push him away again. My wording had to be perfect. “Merrick, it’s true I kissed him, but Grant thought I had feelings for him.”

  “Right, so ye kiss him ta show him ye ha’ no feelings. Makes perfect sense,” he said sarcastically.

  “I kissed him so he’d stop bothering me and so he could see there weren’t any sparks between us. I gave him a quick, completely non-intimate kiss when he held me to him deepening the kiss!” Merrick rolled over to his back and I could see the muscle tick at the side of his jaw. “I need you to believe me, not just forget about it. Tell me you believe me. I did it so Grant would know I lo—“

  Merrick quickly turned his head toward me. “So that he kenned what?”

  I swallowed and gazed down at my hands through lowered lashes. “That I love you and want to be with you…only you,” I said quietly. Suddenly, his hand gently lifted my chin so I looked at him.

  “Tell me again, lass.”

  “I love you.”

  “Ye dinna ken how nice ‘tis ta hear those wee words.”

  My heart flip-flopped. “You never heard those words before, not even as a child? Surely your mother—“ His cold stare gave me chills. “You’re mother never said she loved you?” I took his silence as a “big no”. “Your father then?”

  “Once I came inta the world, my human parents gave me everything a bairn needed…almost.” He peered out the corner of his eye at me. “Me, the dutiful child, always helping my parents only ta get their love and attention. No matter how hard I tried, they pretended I wasn’t there. Eventually I gave up.

  “I dinna have any brothers or sisters that I ken aboot. My parents moved away without me when I turned one and six. I came home after a morn o’ fishin’ and found the cottage empty. They didna even leave food or blankets for me, only a few breeches and tunics…some furniture. It musta been too heavy for them ta carry,” he said with a sad smile on his face. “I kenned they never loved me, probably never liked me, but it still surprised me when they left, never saying goodbye, not even a note with an explanation. I thought the worst aboot myself. I kenned I was different from the other lads. My parents never told me what I’d become.”

  “What happened? Did you look for them?” I asked as I wiped a tear from my cheek.

  Merrick continued to stare up at the ceiling. “Nay,” he said quietly, “I didna look for them. My parents kenned where I’d be if they wanted ta see me again. I lived in the cottage and began ta fish, making a livelihood for myself. In the village one day selling fish, I happened ta meet another lad my age. We became good friends from the start. Soon enough, we treated each other like brothers. Cameron’s been there for me ever since.

  “His family accepted him. They loved him even kenning he was immortal. I came here ta the castle one day with him and met his parents. The moment they laid eyes on me, they kenned I was like Cameron. His family invited me into their home and into their lives. They ne’er told me they loved me, but they treated me like one of their own. I learned what I’d become. I also met Alexander, who became my closest friend.

  “We grew, never aging a day after our five and twentieth birthday. Our immortal blood hummed through our bodies and the Guardians summoned us. Since then we’ve only kenned a life full o’ war.”

  “Was Cameron still able to see his family?” I knew how horrible it felt when loved ones were ripped away. I’d never wish that on anyone.

  “Occasionally, in times of peace, when wars didna rage on, we’d return home.”

  “Is his entire family gone except for Blake?”

  “A few other long lost descendents like Blake are left, but they dinna want ta be a part o’ Cameron’s life. ‘Twas verra hard for us ta watch his family grow old and die while we stayed young and invincible.”

  “Did you…ever have wives?” I asked quietly. I wanted to know for sure where I stood in his heart even if he couldn’t say the words out loud. What if he always thought of another, even if she wasn’t his soul mate?

  “Ye truly are a jealous wee minx,” he said smiling. He leaned over and kissed my temple. “Nay lass, I’ve ne’er had a wife. Many women dinna understand when our wounds heal before their verra eyes. They think we’re warlocks or devils. Not many ken aboot us. Most only think Immortals are old legends and tales, not alive and walking beside them. ‘Tis hard ta find people who would trust a man like me.”

  “Well, I trust you and love you,” I said smiling into his contented face. “I think you’re the man of my dreams, or rather the Immortal of my dreams.”

  “I believe ye, lass,” he said quietly before his mouth came down on mine caressing my mouth until I felt my heart beat one with his.

  * * * * *

  A few servants meandered through the great hall when I wandered down the next morning. Merrick had brought breakfast up to my room and we dined in private. He asked if I wanted to join him in the loch for a bath and as tempting as it was, I declined. The cold winter storm outside chilled me to the bone just thinking about it. I ended up over by the warm fire in the great hall next to the chess table. Running my fingers over the smooth wood game board, I picked up a knight. A great amount of detail covered the small black marble hand carved game piece.

  As I followed the tiny grooves and curves with my fingertips, I remembered when I fell in love with the game.

  “What’cha doing grandda?” I asked walking into the living room and over to my grandda. He sat at a small table under the window with a chess board set up.

  He regarded me with plump rosy cheeks and a big smile. “I’m playin’ chess, lass. Would ye like ta play too?”

  “I don’t know how.”

  “What! Ye’re almost fifteen and ye’re da never taught ye?” I just shook my head. “Weel lassie, ye’re in luck, because ye’ll ha’ the best teacher around!” He gestured to the chair across from him. “Ha’ a seat.”

  I took a seat and my lessons began. I’d never forget the many nights that summer my grandda spent teaching me. By the time I turned sixteen, I beat him at every game.

  “Do ye play?” Merrick asked coming up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist burrowing his head in the curve between my neck and shoulder lingering to place soft kisses on my sensitive skin.

  “I must warn you, I’ve been taught by the best,” I said smiling as his wavy hair tickled the side of my face.

  “Weel then,” he said close to my ear, brushing his lips across my skin as he talked, “I must warn ye, I’ve been playing for a verra, verra long time.” Suddenly, he pulled away and took a seat at the chess table. “Are ye ready ta lose?” he asked grinning.

  I pulled the chair out and sat down. We played a draw for the first game. Merrick smiled as he began setting up the chess board again. “Ye’re good. Ye’re moves remind me a lot o’ an old friend I used to play with,” he said staring off into the past. “Just think lass, when I’m mortal, we can play many more games. I willna ha’ ta leave for the Guardians’ bidding any longer. I’ll be with ye for as long as I live.”

  My breath caught. As lon
g as he lives. “We can still play games even though you’re immortal,” I said with a nervous laugh.

  “I’d rather be mortal and bleed just like ye do. Being Immortal is no way o’ living life, Jillian,” Merrick said pausing with a knight posed in the air over the chess board. I felt his hard stare on me across the game board. “Look at me, Jillian,” he said through clenched teeth. Slowly, I raised my gaze up to meet his. “Do ye doubt ye’re my soul mate now?”

  I shook my head vigorously. “No, I know I am, it’s just—.“ I swallowed and continued quietly, “I don’t want you to be mortal.” I jumped as Merrick suddenly swiped the pieces off the board, scattering them to the floor and stood up. “Please!” I cried standing up and grabbing on to his shirt sleeve. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. If you’re mortal, you could die so easily! Please, listen to me.”

  Merrick swung around. “I am listening, lass. Ye’re worth it ta me, but I’m no worth it ta ye,” he said very coldly.

  Suddenly, the huge wooden doors to the great hall burst open. Merrick abruptly jumped over taking a protective stance in front of me wrapping a guarding arm around my side.

  A frosty air filled the doorway as snow flurries blew in. I squinted as a shape formed. Merrick’s hand squeezed my side. “Stay behind me, Jillian,” he said over his shoulder. “’Tis Rowena.”

  Rowena appeared through the snow flurries. She wore the same gown and cape as before. Her head came up and the hood fell back. She did not look to be in a good mood. Her lip curled and her eyes were the coldest I’ve ever seen them.