This Was Meant To Be: BWWM Romance

by Ellie Etienne

  The threat of tears had horrified Leigh. She didn’t go around crying at the drop of a hat.

  She really was tired and had been working too much. What she needed was a break, but she couldn’t take one. The case was almost on top of them, and the trial was about to start.

  Even sleep seemed like asking too much. Even a coffee break was stretching it.

  She’d been eating her meals at work, and she’d barely even made it back home.

  At least it was beginning to feel like home again, properly, thought Leigh wryly. Nothing like not being able to get to bed to realize just how much of a home it really is.

  “Leigh, you need to eat, and sleep. You’re pushing yourself far too hard.”

  Leigh tried to bite back an impatient sigh, but couldn’t really manage it.

  Oh dear, there she went with the sighing again. She thought she’d handled that.

  “I will, Harrison, next week. Right now, there’s so much to do. I’m young and healthy, you know. I can take the punishment right now. Look, I’ve got to go. I’ll make it up to you, all right? Tomorrow night, everybody’s got a few hours off. We’ll meet. Promise.”

  She hung up as her boss walked in, trying not to feel guilty.

  But there was just no room to feel guilty. She had too much work to do, and now she had to triple check every single detail.

  That gut feeling hadn’t gone away. Coleman’s startlingly negative evaluation had shocked her. She’d had no warning of it.

  Had Slimy Willie done something, and left her holding the sack? Had she been too distracted by Harrison to pay attention to something?

  That couldn’t be allowed. She couldn’t let that happen.

  “I’ve got the prep ready here. I found more precedents, and a few more case files. I don’t think we’ll need them, but it’s nice to have the back up.”

  She was babbling. Leigh ordered herself to stop.

  “Let’s hope you don’t mess that up. Really, Ms. Wells, I’m quite disappointed. That last brief was not done well, not at all. I had to rework the phrasing.”

  Leigh felt heat rising in her cheeks. She didn’t know which brief he was talking about.

  Had she really dropped the ball so badly?

  As the days went on, things didn’t seem to be getting better. The trial seemed to be going well, but Coleman seemed to make it sound like it was despite her, not because in part of her hard work, when he did bother to acknowledge her at all.

  Leigh hadn’t seen Harrison in days, and when she had talked to him, she had been distracted and worried. But somehow, she hadn’t felt comfortable talking about what was going on at work.

  It didn’t even occur to her that she was shutting him out. Carl had seemed so uninterested in her little problems and little triumphs at work that she had tried to focus on him, all the time. When she and Harrison had become close, they had talked about everything.

  But now that things were different, Leigh found herself falling back into the old trap of shutting herself off, and trying to deal with her problems herself.

  After all, they were her problems, weren’t they? What was the point of bothering Harrison with all of them?

  She had to deal with them. She had to prove that she could.

  If Leigh didn’t realize what it looked like from the other side, it was more because she was so used to being in a relationship with somebody who didn’t want to know, who was so wrapped up in himself that he didn’t care all that much.

  But Harrison was not Carl. Harrison was nothing like Carl.

  And Harrison felt her pulling away from him.

  He didn’t know what he could do. He had tried everything without being pushy or demanding that Leigh pay attention to his needs over her own.

  He knew that her ex had done that. He never wanted to make that mistake. It wasn’t a part of who he was, anyway.

  But knowing that she was drawing away from him was beginning to tear at him. He didn’t know what he could do.

  The worst part was how she refused to open up to him. Whatever it was, he would much rather hear it from her than keep wondering what was wrong. He was sure about that. But she…

  Well, she’d rather avoid conversations altogether.

  Was spending time with him becoming so distasteful?

  Harrison looked at his phone eagerly when it rang, hoping that it was Leigh. His enthusiasm disturbed him a bit.

  But it wasn’t. It was just work.

  If work was becoming ‘just’ work, mused Harrison, then things were definitely wrong.

  He needed to figure out how he could reach Leigh. If he couldn’t, well, he needed to move on.

  Even as his heart sank at the thought, he told himself that now, at least, he no longer had to keep wondering about ‘what if’. If Leigh was drawing away from him as it felt like she was, then at least he knew that they had tried. If he had to live with unrequited love, then so be it.

  He paused, mid thought.

  He had thought it, and now it felt like there was no going back. He had thought those words – unrequited love.

  He hated how it made him sound like a tragic hero of some sort. Harrison had absolutely no desire to style himself an obsessed Heathcliff, or even a patient Mr. Darcy. He would move on if Leigh had changed her mind.

  But she needed to tell him.

  He would give her some more time, decided Harrison. He wouldn’t push her. But if she wanted to dump him, he decided grimly, she would have to do the dirty work.

  He was not going to fade away into the night quietly, as if what they had found together had never been at all.

  *****

  “No, that can’t be true,” said Leigh, the words nearly stumbling over each other as she tried to get them out fast enough.

  “I agree, Ms. Wells. It can’t be, but it is, and it was your responsibility. That’s what it says right here – you are in charge of the last stage of verification of the evidence for this case, and the original report is missing. The original, time-stamped, sensitive report with no soft copy any more, the report that had been deleted but we finally found, is missing. Do you realize, Ms. Wells, what this means? This was the cornerstone of our entire case.”

  Leigh was numb. She could hardly believe her ears.

  She knew the report he was talking about, of course she did.

  But this was the first time she’d been told that she’d been in charge of it. Or at least, she was supposed to have been.

  If she had known, of course she would have made sure that it was in Coleman’s personal safe or under her eyes, every moment. Every last moment. But she hadn’t known.

  How could she not have known? It seemed to be right there, in black and white, in the report after the third meeting about the case. It said that she had been given the report for an analysis, and that she had never logged it back in after that.

  Why couldn’t she remember that? She remembered the need for the analysis. But she couldn’t remember that being her responsibility.

  Try as she might, it was a blur. She couldn’t bring it back. She just couldn’t.

  And yet, she could’ve sworn, on anything and anybody, that it hadn’t been assigned to her. She had been resentful of that because she’d seen that as a missed opportunity.

  But that had been when she and Carl had been fighting, and she had been so drained. She couldn’t remember what had happened. She couldn’t recall the precise events or the sequence of anything, and she was mortified.

  “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, but she knew how inadequate that was.

  “Well, it is a pity that your pretty little apology will not get us an adjournment, or a mistrial, or anything remotely favorable. Ms. Wells, I don’t have to tell you that this case is extremely important. It’s a class action suit, and it has generated a great deal of publicity already. We have staked a good part of our firm’s reputation on this case. Win or lose, we are obliged to do our best. Losing key pieces of evidence is not how you try your best. Unless you can
find this report within ten days – and you must count yourself incredibly lucky that you have those ten days – you can kiss your career goodbye, Ms. Wells.”

  Leigh felt her world spinning, as if everything she had known was now gone. This was an unfamiliar world, and she didn’t want to be a part of it. This was not her world.

  Things like this did not happen in her world.

  “Yes, sir,” she said, forcing the words out. She had to grip the edge of the desk to keep herself steady. Leigh focused on her knuckles, hard bone with skin drawn tight over it, as she sat there, trying to find something to anchor her.

  Had she thought that her life was getting better? Had she even considered that perhaps she could be happy?

  How wrong she had been!

  Everything she had worked for was going down the drain, and it looked like it was all her own doing.

  Had every decision she had ever made been so wrong.

  “Ms. Well, I suggest you get out and make something happen, because right now, I need to come up with something else – an entire new plan for the case, in fact. Unless, of course, you could do the job for me?”

  The sarcasm barely touched her. Everything was going wrong. She had no room for nuances like that.

  She didn’t know what she was supposed to do.

  She was barely aware of how she had stumbled outside, but she was out, taking deep gulps of chilly air as if she couldn’t get enough.

  Leigh wasn’t even aware of doing it, but she had her phone in her hand, and instinct seemed to guide her fingers as she called Harrison.

  Even as the phone rang, and he picked up, she wasn’t completely sure of what she was doing. She wasn’t thinking.

  She had done what had seemed to be the only thing to do.

  “Leigh? Hello? Did you pocket dial me?”

  She heard his voice, and slowly, things started coming back into focus.

  She was standing outside the office building.

  Quickly, Leigh started walking away. She was relieved she had her bag with her, and she had put everything away safely before going to Coleman’s office.

  Not that it mattered anymore, thought Leigh with the faintest edge of hysteria. She swallowed it harshly. There was no room for drama or hysterics.

  “Harrison.”

  Her voice sounded weak and tired, so unlike her usual tones.

  “Leigh, what’s wrong?”

  Concern, affection, worry, and a steely assurance that whatever was wrong, he would help her – she heard all of that in just those three words, and the ground seemed a bit more solid underneath her feet again.

  “I… Can I see you?”

  “Of course. Where are you? I’ll be there in ten.”

  That assurance, without even asking her where she was, calmed her down some more. She told him where she was, and stood there, as if everything had gone blank and all she could feel was the chill in the air – when had it started getting cold?

  When he drew up alongside her, she got in, and looked at him.

  She looked so fragile, like the most delicate of tinted glass, that Harrison was alarmed. When he took her hands, they were cold as ice.

  He was glad he’d gotten the chauffeur to bring the sedan, because Leigh needed attention.

  Quickly, he found a flask of brandy and urged Leigh to take a sip. She looked like she desperately needed it.

  She shock of the liquid, smooth though it was, burning down her throat made Leigh come back to herself, almost all the way.

  She looked at Harrison, her expression horrified.

  “Harrison, everything’s going wrong!”

  His hand was on hers again, and she drew the strength that he offered. She could draw on him, she realized – she could lean on him.

  Somehow, inside herself, she had realized that even before she had acknowledged that in her mind.

  Had she always known? Perhaps she had.

  It all came pouring out of her, with quite a few tears, and a lot of sniffling.

  Finally, Harrison pulled her into his arms and soothed her with soft kisses, stroking her hair. When she finally calmed down, she, to her mortification, hiccuped.

  “Sorry,” she muttered, pulling away.

  But he didn’t let her go.

  “No, don’t pull away from me again, Leigh. Why didn’t you tell me all of this before? Didn’t it occur to you that I could help you?”

  Leigh took a moment before she shook her head.

  “I should have.”

  “Well, you have now, and I can help you. I don’t know if you forgot this, but I do have quite a bit of influence in all kinds of communities, including yours. I’ve never offered to do this before because I know you’re proud. I know you want to accomplish everything you want on your own, and I do respect that, Leigh. But right now, let me help you. I can.”

  Leigh looked at him, and she was ashamed to realize that she was desperate, and panicked, enough to accept help from anybody.

  But from Harrison, it wasn’t something she had to be ashamed of, realized Leigh. She never had to be ashamed of anything with him.

  He would help her.

  She nodded, slowly.

  “All right, now tell me everything, from beginning till the end, and I’ll find a way to get to the bottom of this. Because Leigh, I seem to have more faith in you than you do. No matter how distracted or distraught you were, you would never have been that careless. I am so sure of that. So this is either somebody else’s mistake, or it’s sabotage. Whether the sabotage is of you or the case, or your firm itself, we’ll have to see. Leigh, this is not your fault. I refuse to even entertain the possibility that it might be. No, don’t tell me that this was so long ago now that you’re not sure. I know you’re sure that you’d never screw up like this. Everybody makes mistakes, but this goes against everything you are.”

  Leigh almost felt ashamed of herself after that little speech from Harrison.

  Now that the shock seemed to be wearing off, she could see where he was coming from. He was right – there was no way she would make such a huge mistake.

  Especially not in such a way that she even had no memory of it.

  But something was definitely wrong, and she didn’t have the resources to get to the bottom of it.

  So she would do something she couldn’t remember ever having done before – she would trust somebody else to do something for her, when it mattered so much, when everything seemed to depend on it. Her future and her career depended on it.

  Could she trust him, with everything she had worked for?

  “Trust me, Leigh. I will never let you lose everything. I’d never let that happen. No matter what, I promise you, I will get to the bottom of this. And I will keep you in the loop, every single step of the way. Let me help you, Leigh.”

  Leigh melted against him as she took a deep breath and made that choice, to trust him, more than she had ever trusted anybody ever before.

  And she admitted something she had rarely admitted before, to anybody, too.

  “I trust you. And I need you. I need your help, and I need you.”

  Harrison’s arms tightened around her, and she knew that he’d realized how much she had just given him.

  “It won’t take too long. I’ve got a few strings I can tug. We’ll have our answers, Leigh. You won’t pay the price for this. We’ll find out who does.”

  Leigh sighed.

  “I know. But now… I don’t know where I stand. I just feel like I’m buried.”

  “Never,” promised Harrison, and Leigh realized, to her shock, that she believed him.

  She couldn’t remember when she had started depending on him, but it didn’t feel strange. If anything, it felt right.

  Maybe she could live with this. Maybe she could deal with this, after all.

  Harrison got to work as soon as he had Leigh tucked in. He knew it was hard on her. He also knew what it meant when she finally fell asleep in his arms.

  She was comfortable with him.
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  He did feel a bit silly that he had assumed she’d been pulling away from him. He should’ve trusted her.

  Well, it wasn’t a mistake he would make again.

  Harrison made calls, and he made more calls. He got Anna on the job, impressing upon her that this was extremely important.

  He had the lines out. Somebody would soon bite.

  Harrison had found out that if you could navigate high school, everything else was a piece of cake. The rich and the connected always wanted more, and that was greed that he could manipulate.

  Since he was richer than most of them, they disliked him. But they still simpered and fawned over him.

  So finding out the truth shouldn’t be difficult.

  Leigh had given him enough hints to know where he should start digging, and he knew he wouldn’t let her down. That was simply not an option.

  When Leigh woke up, Harrison was standing at the window.

  She was at his place, she realized. She didn’t often come to him. They usually went back to her place.

  But she had needed a break from all things familiar. She was glad he had recognized that.

  But there was also a part of her that wondered how much of herself she could keep, now. If he turned around…

  She had hardly finished the thought when he did turn around.

  She smiled at him, but it was a tremulous smile.

  “Thank you,” she told him, feeling unaccountably shy.

  He shook his head.

  “Don’t be. I promised to solve this problem for you, and I will. But after that… After that, what do you want, Leigh?”

  Leigh looked at him, refusing to think about what he had asked her. She didn’t want to make decisions now. He couldn’t ask her to make decisions now.

  But he came close to her, sitting down beside her on the big, luxurious bed. Suddenly, Leigh realized that he had been giving up so many of his luxuries to spend time with her.

  He could’ve expected her to come to him. That would’ve been the logical thing to do.

  But he never had. He had always known that she needed to make her home her own again, before she came over to his place, which had always been his.

  Had they always had so many barriers between them?

  Maybe they had and it had never mattered.