Mongrels and Misfits

by Beth Patterson

  Sentence unfinished

  Chord unresolved

  Martyr mistaken

  Wretch unabsolved

  Protest kept secret

  Pain held inside

  Question unanswered

  Blessing denied

  Now that I have become

  A red giant in blazing autumn

  The time is near, will I be recognized

  Before I am blamed and ostracized?

  The gravity of it presses me to earth

  I want to lay me down in heavy surrender

  For at the core, I am still Much-Afraid

  Only justice can restore me to splendor

  So here’s to hoping

  Here’s to reading between the lines

  Here’s to searching

  For any possible signs

  Of cosmic justice

  Through every lesson marked by scars

  In vain, for there is only justice

  In the stars ...

  Darkening sky

  Sun and moon exchange a passing glance

  Thoughts asunder, twinkling fires as they fly

  Catch them all

  Gather up into a soul jar

  They light the way and clarify ...

  An open road

  My chance at last

  To rise above

  But I’m falling fast

  Still I will say nothing and run free

  Until the scars no longer disfigure me

  Safe in my head

  Protective bubble, thin cocoon of hope

  A room of one’s own brings the wolf right to my door

  Who’s afraid?

  It’s only blind anticipation

  A signal sent to something more ...

  An open road

  My chance at last

  To rise above

  But I’m falling fast

  Still I will say nothing and run free

  Until the cards reveal my place to be

  Slowly it dawns

  The sharpest blade would never hurt me now

  I feel the earth tilt, and I laugh at fading stars

  The world still spins

  So build a loop and throw me in

  It’s worth the journey and the scars ...

  An open road

  My chance at last

  To rise above

  But I’m falling fast

  Still I will say nothing and run free

  Until the gods decide to favor me

  Until the cards reveal my place to be

  Until the scars no longer disfigure me

  Common sense would tell us

  To share and share alike

  But now the iron’s hot as hell

  I say it’s time to strike

  I sought to ask one question:

  Have once again I failed?

  What must I do to qualify,

  My efforts to avail?

  She told me scorch

  Clear the damage with a torch

  Raze it to the ground and start it all again

  Drive out all impurities

  Purging flame will set you free

  Rise from the scree and face down what’s within

  Go forth and scorch

  For don’t you know that if you strike

  An iron that’s still hot

  Then it won’t even matter

  If you qualify or not

  I posed another question:

  How can I sustain the burn?

  How can I keep on going

  With blind corners every turn?

  She told me scorch

  Clear the damage with a torch

  Raze it to the ground and start it all again

  Drive out all impurities

  Purging flame will set you free

  Rise from the scree and face down what’s within

  Go forth and scorch

  I had a final question

  (The darkest of my fears):

  Can it truly break the curse

  That I’ve borne so many years?

  No more the sword of Damocles

  Will hang above your head

  A lion’s heart, a steady hand

  Will be your lot instead

  She told me scorch

  Clear the damage with a torch

  Raze it to the ground and start it all again

  Drive out all impurities

  Purging flame will set you free

  Rise from the scree and face down what’s within

  Go forth and scorch

  Welcome to my prison ball

  It’s a cutting edge-hop sideswipe swing

  This is why the will survives

  This is why the caged bird sings

  It’s a cobra-mongoose war of wills

  Haunches kick and feelings fly

  The goddess of the sidelong glance

  Makes it harder to pass by

  Oh, we take part of this masquerade

  To keep the scorecard even

  While messiahs and mistresses

  All die for what they believe in

  Formal speech and smart decorum

  Make us appear much stronger

  With formal gowns and feathered masks

  From birds that fly no longer

  Drama entertains us well

  The king strives to complete the task

  He’s having the most fun of all

  With no eyeholes in his mask

  The fool is far more dangerous

  Your limits he will put to test

  That’s really not his sentiment

  After all, he’s just in jest

  Oh, the band plays on and never dances

  But the music always varies

  Sometimes the song of a chain gang

  Or a flock of caged canaries

  The mask remains tied tightly on

  To hide a flaw much bigger

  The tear and groan of flesh and bone

  From a scar that leaves me disfigured

  Welcome to my prison ball ...

  Standing on a frozen lake

  Gotta make your way somehow

  You don’t know how you got here

  Too late to turn back now

  It’s the risk all people take

  Temporary paradise

  But nothing golden stays

  Now the world is snow and ice

  Snow and ice … snow and ice …

  Don’t ever get too comfortable

  For your senses are confined

  One foot, then the other

  Watch your step, don’t look behind

  Don’t want a grand adventure

  Don’t want to pay the price

  True colors never shine through

  In a world of snow and ice

  Snow and ice … snow and ice …

  A tender ray of sunshine

  Cracks the ice beneath your feet

  Somehow this winter wonderland

  No longer seems so sweet

  So tired of this existence

  Every step must be precise

  Is survival really worth it?

  Must a life be snow and ice?

  Snow and ice … snow and ice …

  I will cut off tender weakness

  And the heat I radiate

  I won’t light a single candle

  As a way to insulate

  No more will flow the wellspring

  It will harden to my fate

  Survival of the coldest-hearted

  I will cloak myself in hate


  Can’t tell how think the surface

  Can’t predict the dice

  Wanna just lie down and go to sleep

  Amid the snow and ice ...

  Snow and ice … snow and ice …

  Each revolution brings a turn in the road

  It travels right back to the start

  We evolve, then return to primordial grace

  As the blood must return to the heart

  We know it will happen, we just don’t know when

  From longing, to triumph, to shame, and back again

  Perpetual spiral, we see where we’ve been

  And we spin …

  In each life we evolve, or we die many times

  From ashes we rise, or from grace we may fall

  Just a small drop of rain on a cyclical path

  Only one pair of eyes sees it all

  Every man to the earth, and the earth to his kin

  Turn on a torque of salvation and sin

  Angels dance round on the head of a pin

  And we spin …

  The eternal wheel spins us in forward motion

  From the first stone cast to the finalized notion

  We meet ourselves with doglike devotion

  Catch fleeting tail in the teeth of emotion

  The swell of the moon, or the flow of the tide

  The blood trickles down, or the kick from inside

  The land is a pulse, and the rhythm our guide

  It connects all the elements by which we abide

  Mestizo hymns or evangelist brimstone

  In a spiral of smoke, they ascend

  What goes around comes around, that’s what we fear

  Karma that some just amend

  We know it will happen, we just don’t know when

  From longing, to triumph, to shame, and back again

  Perpetual spiral, we see where we’ve been

  And we spin …

  Every man to the earth, and the earth to his kin

  Turn on a torque of salvation and sin

  Angels dance round on the head of a pin

  And we spin …

  With twilight descending, and slumber you find

  And I am certain that I have safely passed from your mind

  Only then can I serenade you, unconfined

  In the secrecy of my heart

  Do you shine bright as always, as in sagas of old?

  Do you still sing with four voices or breathe hot and cold?

  Do you nurture my memory, or yet still behold

  Another creature of some world apart?

  And how can a blind man steer by the stars

  And how can a poor man find power?

  How can a dead man rise from his grave

  And how can I find hope in this hour?

  I desired no promise, only your company

  And I flourished in your presence most wholeheartedly

  Though I still would rejoin you, I face reality

  It entraps me from dusk until dawn

  Now, we all take our chances on what we regain

  But only fools would rush in where an angel’s been slain

  And the sound of four voices, they still call my name

  Even though your presence is gone

  And how can a blind man steer by the stars

  And how can a poor man find power?

  How can a dead man rise from his grave

  And how can I find hope in this hour?

  Free from all envy, and free from all pride

  I marveled at your joy as I walked by your side

  And I wish not to taint you with the aspects I hide

  Of my past, my thoughts, and my fears

  When time finally tempers this heart sick and sore

  And your eyes no longer dance in my dreams anymore

  I will still sing your praises for a time long before

  I was blinded by so many tears

  And how can a blind man steer by the stars

  And how can a poor man find power?

  How can a dead man rise from his grave

  And how can I find hope in this hour?

  I’m a hardened weather watcher

  But I’m no tornado chaser

  I predict what I can’t control

  I don’t respect what I fear

  I stare straight into the core

  Of that torrential heart of darkness

  And once it’s cold and calculating

  Then it’s time to disappear

  I see black widows hatching

  I see scorpions with their young

  I must kill them with kindness

  Before they kill me first in kind

  I try remaining in control

  Through this anarchistic temperament

  If fury sounds the same way twice

  I can gain soundness of mind

  The pale eye of the storm

  Is a halcyon self-centeredness

  But all within its radius

  Is flung so far and wide

  When I refuse to hand my power

  To the bitter wind surrounding

  Do I sense some faint hostility

  Or does it darken still inside?

  Two loving spoonfuls in my cup

  Get me going in the morning

  Add some cream and stir it right

  Sugar rush hits me without warning

  Sweet lovin’ sugar cane

  Got no reservation

  Time to harvest that bumper crop

  And I need no persuasion

  Take it raw or take it refined

  But accept no substitution

  Take your sins straight to the source

  In the field you’ll find absolution

  Sweet lovin’ sugar cane

  Got no reservation

  Some call in the little death

  Some call it elation

  Takin’ it like a remedy

  Agony like a cavity

  A savory ferocity

  Purgin’ the fields with flame

  Rushin’ so exuberant

  Crashin’ indeterminate

  This rant and cant no different

  Than somebody raising cane

  You were begotten by sugar, mellifluous man

  Before they can consume you, run

  Run away as fast as you can

  I will rescue you from their gustatory needs

  Just hop on my back with succulent speed

  And we’ll cross the river, far from their greed

  Come closer, I would never mislead

  Behold, across the water, the tall waves of cane

  The primordial substance from which you came

  Now prepare to meet your maker

  And no, I ain’t no baker

  Sweet lovin’ sugar cane

  Got no reservation

  And all my friends are asking

  Where I got these strange abrasions

  Sweet lovin’ sugar cane

  Got no reservation

  The stalk is fine and in its prime

  To heighten the sensation

  Take your sins straight to the source

  And sweeten to taste!

  And sweeten to taste!

  And sweeten to taste...

  Sugar!

  When the weeping willow grants you a place to grieve your loss

  When the fire-crested healer sees your bones of shame

  When the lowly worm turns silent in a pod of introspection

  It’s then you’ll find a voice to reclaim

  The weeping willow once lay choking with a deadly
blight

  And the fire-crested healer once lay frozen in the snow

  You, too, will overcome, though your journey will be hard

  And you must take some fire when you go

  Celebrate your anger, and be baptized in your tears

  For a wisdom lives within you, as only you can know

  Prepare yourself for battle, and your flight into the storm

  And you must take some fire when you go

  When a thousand fallen heroes turn against you in the dark

  And your guardian angels here on earth turn a deaf ear towards your cries

  When you perform great miracles that no one seems to see

  And your good intentions fall by the wayside