The Gift

by David William Kirby

  Simon

  Hay look every one, Paul’s got some friends staying…

  Narration

  I took a towel and stuffed that under the door to prevent them coming in because I thought Paul must have some company while he’s in there on his own; especially with all that mess in the bath.

  I’d tried to clear it out but I only had three saucepans and it was taking so long to boil it all down, then flushing the gooey bits down the toilet. I just couldn’t put up with the smell in the end.

  I just didn’t know how Paul could put up with all those creepy crawlies, but then, Paul was funny like that.

  It was around this time that Mrs Penly’s friend came to stay. I was pushing the towel under the door when I heard a soft tapping on the front door, I stopped what I was doing and heard it again, this time louder.

  I crossed the room and put my ear to the door.

  Simon

  Is somebody there?

  Narration

  The knocking came again and so I opened the door slightly and peered outside. There was a little old lady with a very bonny hat on her head and a bright coat. She smiled, so did I and closed the door.

  I was just about to go back to my cup of tea and Boris Karloff when the rapping came again. I opened the door again and looked at the lady.

  Simon

  Yes?

  Old Lady

  My name is Rose, love. I’m a friend of Mrs Penly, you know, the lady from opposite?

  Simon

  Hello Rose Love.

  Rose

  I’ve been trying to contact her for a week; I’m very worried and I was wondering if you had seen her?

  Simon

  Who, Mrs Penly?

  Rose

  Yes dear, have you seen her recently?

  Simon

  Yes, of course. She’s been staying with me for a while.

  Rose

  She’s been staying with you? How strange.

  Simon

  Yes, we were just having a cup of tea. Okay. Bye then.

  (He begins to close the door when the old lady puts her foot in it)

  Rose

  Well can I see her?

  Simon

  She’s just watching a film right now, with me and Brian; could you come back?

  Rose

  No love, if she’s there I want to see her.

  Simon

  If you insist.

  (Rose walks into the flat and her smile disintegrates into a look of sheer horror. She reaches out and her friend’s body slumps forwards from a slight touch.

  She turns just in time to catch a glimpse of the cake knife swooping through the air. It enters her neck and exits her ear. The old woman slumps onto the sofa next to Mrs Penly.

  Simon watches as she splutters and gasps before reaching for the knife in her throat, she falls silent)

  There you are, reunited.

  (He goes to Mrs Penly and sits her upright placing her stick between her hands again)

  There you are, all bonny, like Rose Love’s hat; and knife handle.

  (He sits on the sofa next to Rose and begins to drink his tea.)

  Narration

  The following day the strangest thing happened. Paul spoke to me. I was in the sitting room with Mrs Penly and her friend when I heard a voice behind us coming from the darkened bedroom.

  Paul

  Come here.

  Simon

  Who, me?

  Paul

  Yes you. Come in here.

  Narration

  I went to the bedroom door and saw Paul in bed, he was smiling and gleaming and I though that the bath had really done him the world of good. He pulled back the sheets and beckoned for me to join him.

  I was feeling tired so I crawled onto the bed and sank into his arms. Soon I was in a very deep, relaxed sleep.

  Daddy was there, and mum. They were sitting at a huge table and it was laid out with cakes and fruits and the snake daddy had killed in the jungle.

  Mrs Penly was eating a cake and laughing at a joke Brian had told her about his auntie and Rose love was chatting away to Paul.

  Mum put her arm around me and said softly Simon, you really have a gift, you know, a gift for making friends.

  SCENE 19 EXT DAY

  Narration

  The next day I had to go out. I had something that I couldn’t flush down the toilet and I had to get rid of it. It was taking up a saucepan and I needed it for something else. I went to the local canal and threw it in there, it bobbed on the water for a bit before sailing off downstream. Good, I thought, that snake was worrying me.

  I don’t know why but I felt that I had to get it out the flat or out the bathroom at least.

  I remembered that there was a loose floorboard in the flat, yes, just behind the kitchenette, perhaps I could pull that up and hide it there. I was sure it needed to be hidden. People don’t like snakes in small flats.

  SCENE 20 INT DAY

  (In the flat below Simon’s lives a young girl, a student. Today she has a friend visiting and they are sitting by the window watching the entrance)

  Polly

  Keep your eye out for him, you can’t miss him he always has this long black coat on; looks like a vagrant or tramp. You’ll know him when you see him.

  Alison

  Are you sure you saw him go out earlier?

  Polly

  Of course. He is such a weirdo, I get so frightened here at night hearing him banging around up there. You know he was actually singing bold as brass at four in the morning last night.

  Alison

  No?

  Polly

  Really, ‘Mother Kelly’s Doorstep’, as loud as he could. What with that and the sound of him pulling up the floorboards I feel like moving.

  Alison

  Shame.

  Polly

  Then this morning I nearly bumped right into him when I put the rubbish out.

  Alison

  Doesn’t an old lady live up there on the same floor; hasn’t she said anything?

  Polly

  Poor old cow. Fancy sticking an old girl all the way up those stairs; no wonder we never see her. For all I know she could be dead or something. You do hear of it don’t you?

  Alison

  It’s really sad. Old people being isolated like that particularly when they have a nutter living opposite. Doesn’t she have home care?

  Polly

  While you are here I might pop up there and give her a knock, see if she needs anything. As long as you keep an eye out for him and let me know if he comes.

  Alison

  I need to use your loo first.

  Polly

  Just down the end of the hall, you’ll have to flush it a couple of times because the drains are blocked.

  (Alison goes out the room while Polly continues her vigil. She returns a few moments later aghast.)

  Alison

  That smell is revolting, it’s like rotting flesh. That’s not right Polly, how long’s it been like that?

  Polly

  About a month, it’s sickening isn’t it. I would call a plumber but it’s down to the landlord, I have reported it.

  Alison

  You can’t live like this. It’ll just get worse now the summer is coming.

  Polly

  Right, I’ll leave the door open and I want you to call me if you see him on the garden path.

  Alison

  Okay, but are you sure you want to do this?

  Polly

  I’ll only see if she’s okay. Won’t be long.

  (Polly steals out of her flat and cautiously climbs the stairs to the flats at the top. She knocks on Mrs Penlys door.)

  Phew, what a stink.

  (She knocks again and the door opens slightly.)

  Hello, is anyone there.

  (She enters the flat cautiously pushing open doors as she goes. Meanwhile Alison sees Simon on the path below coming to the house.)

  Alison

  Jes
us.

  (She goes to the flat door and calls up the stairs)

  Polly!

  (The sound of foot falls approach)

  POLLY!

  (Simon turns on the stairway and approaches her on his way up the last flight.)

  Hello, are you the guy who lives upstairs?

  Simon

  Yes, hello.

  Polly

  Are you having trouble with your drains, ours seem to be blocked?

  Simon

  Not that I know. Do you live here then?

  Polly

  Not quite.

  Simon

  I thought the lady that lived here had blond hair.

  Polly

  Yes, here she is.

  (Alison approaches from the stairwell)

  Alison

  I was just visiting the old lady from upstairs. The one opposite you.

  Simon

  Were you?

  Polly

  How is she?

  Alison

  Not bad. No not bad really. We’ve kept you long enough…

  Simon

  So you saw her did you?

  Alison

  Yes.

  Simon

  I see.

  Polly

  Bye then.

  (Both women enter their flat and close the door.)

  Polly

  What a weirdo. What did the old lady say, can she hear him at night?

  Alison

  Her flat door was open and she was no-where to be seen.

  Polly

  Oh God, you don’t think he’s done anything to her do you?

  Alison

  I don’t know but I am going to find out. I told you what he was like and did you smell that stink, it reeks of it up there. I should be doing the neighbourly thing, like getting a metal health assessment for that weirdo but I am more worried about the old girl. Do you think I should call the police?

  SCENE 21 INT DAY

  (Simon enters his flat, as he does he sees a vague old man sitting on the sofa next to Rose. The old man looks at him and rubs his chin.)

  Simon

  Hello Daddy, how are you?

  Dad

  Worried boy.

  Simon

  I know, the snake was too big to flush down the toilet and I’ve got it’s mess everywhere. I don’t know if I’m coming or going at the moment. Have you come to help?

  Dad

  Stop fretting boy; what are you going to do about all these people. They can’t stay here forever you know. You’ll have snakes everywhere. No, I think you are in a genuine pickle here boy. It’s going to be a while before you are out of it.

  Simon

  I suppose you are right. I’m not sure what to do to get out of it.

  Dad

  There’s only one thing to do and that’s to go to the police. They’ll sort it all out for you.

  Simon

  Are you sure.

  Dad

  I’ll come with you if you want.

  (A few moments later Simon is heading Downstairs. The girls see him leave the building.)

  Alison

  Polly, look he’s going out again.

  Polly

  I wonder where he’s going this time?

  SCENE 22 INT DAY

  (The local police station, an officer is standing behind a counter when Simon appears before him.)

  Officer

  Can I help you, Sir?

  Simon

  Would it help if my father spoke to you or should I?

  Officer

  You father, is he outside?

  Simon

  No, he’s right here, beside me.

  Officer

  I see.(Pulls a face) I think you’d better tell me what’s going on.

  Simon

  It’s about my head.

  Officer

  I thought so, what about your head?

  Simon

  Well, it’s Paul’s head really, I thought it was a snake so I threw it in the canal.

  Officer

  You threw Paul’s head into the canal?

  Simon

  Yes.

  Officer

  Was Paul attached to his head at the time?

  Simon

  No, you see, I thought it was a snake?

  Officer

  And what has your father got to do with this?

  Simon

  He thought I’d better tell you; to sort it all out. You see there’s Paul, Brian, Mrs Penly and her friend Rose and of course daddy, he smells a bit…

  Officer

  Of course…

  Simon

  Well, what do you think I should do with them all?

  Officer

  Well, you could throw a party.

  Simon

  We had one of those but it got boring after a while.

  Officer

  I know the feeling. How about this, see that road out there?

  Simon

  The busy one?

  Officer

  You got it. Why don’t you and Dad go out there, stand in the middle till a big truck comes along then you can kind of, well, jump in front of it.

  Simon

  Will that help?

  Officer

  It would help me.

  Simon

  Oh, okay. I’ll think about that then. Bye then.

  Officer

  Tat ta…

  (Waves him off. A few moments later the officer picks up a bulletin that has been left around the station and reads that earlier that day a head was found in a plastic bag floating in the canal. He looks outside the station but the man is gone.)

  SCENE 23 INT NIGHT

  (We are in Polly’s flat, she wakes up and glances at the clock it reads 4.25am. She can hear singing coming through the floorboards above and footsteps banging out the tempo of the song. She gets up and sees a wet patch appearing in the plaster above her head)

  Polly

  This is a sodding joke.

  (She grabs a broom and uses the handle to bang on the ceiling)

  SCENE 24 INT DAY

  (Polly is looking out the window the following day and puts down her cup when she sees a plumber arrive. He buzzes her intercom and she lets him in. Opening her front door she waits for him to join her.)

  Polly

  Thanks for coming out so promptly. If I’d waited any longer for the Land lord god knows how bad it would have got.

  Plumber

  What’s the problems Love?

  (He follows her into the flat and she leads him to the toilet.)

  Polly

  The toilet doesn’t flush properly, it keeps backing up and there’s this smell.

  Plumber

  Jesus, that’s awful.

  Polly

  I’m glad you agree, it’s been like this for about a month and it’s getting worse.

  Plumber

  Well love, I don’t think that smell has anything to do with the drains. I’ve done this job for thirty years and I’ve never smelt anything like that before. It’s like the smell you get in a slaughter house.

  Polly

  Oh, don’t say that.

  Plumber

  I’ll have a look at the down pipe and see if there’s a blockage. Has anyone else complained?

  Polly

  Not that I’m aware of although he may have a problem upstairs. The tenant up there, Look at this…

  (She leads him to the hallway and points to a wet patch in the plaster above their heads.)

  That appeared last night.

  Plumber

  Oh, I’ll have a word with him. First things first, let me check the down pipe. Is there access to the back garden or do I need a key?

  Polly

  No, you just walk round.

  Plumber

  Okay love.

  (We follow the plumber down the stairs to the front of the block. He walks to the rear of the property and looks at the down pipe that brings the waste water from the upper flats to a joint with the f
lat on the first floor and then down to a drain.

  There’s an inspection cover which he uses a tool to pull open. The smell makes him recoil.)

  Fucking Jesus. What the fuck…

  (He sees flies and maggots swarming in the bottom of the inspection trap and covering his nose he reaches in and pulls out what appears to be clumps of yellow fat. He places that beside him and reaches in again and withdraws a long piece of skin; unfurling it he can see part of a tattoo on it.)

  What is going on here?

  (He places the piece of skin in a plastic bag and puts the inspection hatch back on before returning to Polly’s flat.)

  Here Love, who lives upstairs?

  Polly

  Just some weirdo. He’s not right in the head and at night I am so frightened; why, is it something to do with him?

  Plumber

  Let’s not jump to conclusions eh. I have to have a word with my boss and I’ll come back.