Styxx

by Sherrilyn Kenyon

Chapter Thirteen

 

  His sweet humility warmed her. "As I said, you are very rare. "

  "Do you really believe that?" he asked in that richly deep voice of his. She could listen to the manly resonance of it all day long. . . .

  "Experience has tutored me well that most will lie or cheat to get the better hand. It's why I prefer solitude to social interaction. "

  He took a sip then set his cup aside. "And I hate to be alone, yet it seems to be forever forced upon me. "

  She frowned at the pain she heard in his tone. "Why do you hate being alone?"

  "It's lonely. "

  "You can be surrounded by people and still be alone. "

  "And that is a lesson I've learned well. Still, it's better to be distracted by the crowd than to be left with memories that serve no purpose other than to torture the conscience and flog the heart. "

  His wisdom surprised her. He seemed a lot older than his years.

  "You aren't old enough to have such regrets. "

  "Pain doesn't respect age, my lady. Sometimes I think the Algea rather enjoy going after younger victims just for spite. " Styxx hesitated as a stricken look went across her brow. "Forgive me, my lady. I didn't mean to be so maudlin. I've tainted your beautiful smile, and that was definitely not my intent. As I said, I spend far too much time alone. It leaves me lacking in all social graces. "

  She shook her head. "I find your sincere conversation and heartfelt comments refreshing. I have no patience for guile and even less for artful wordsmiths who mask their claws behind double entendres and cleverly practiced lines. So give me your honesty, Hector. That is why I waited for you today when I never wait for anyone. "

  How did she do it? She made him feel so . . .

  Human. Worthy. And it was so effortless for her. While others degraded him, she made him feel like he could fly.

  "You are not like anyone I've ever met before, Bethany. "

  She tucked her chin in, in the cutest manner he'd ever seen. "I should hope not. I pride myself on being unique in this world. "

  He hardened even more and wished he had the courage to steal a kiss from her. "And well you should. "

  She swallowed her bit of bread. "What about you?"

  "What about me, what?"

  She leaned forward and wrinkled her nose. "On what do you pride yourself?"

  Stupidity. It was what he seemed to possess an abundance of, but he had no wish to out himself so soon to her. "Nothing. "

  "I'm serious, Hector. "

  He glanced away from her. "As am I. "

  She scooted closer to him until her scent made his head reel again. "There's nothing you excel at? Honestly?"

  Before he could stop himself, the truth poured out. "Angering my father, and definitely my sister. I can turn her from a smiling beauty to a vengeful shrew by merely walking into a room. My powers in that regard are truly awe-inspiring. But I take no pride in either. And as you've seen firsthand, my skill with horses is even more lacking than my social graces. "

  "There has to be something you're good at. Surely you can name me one thing besides angering your family. "

  "The only other thing I'm accomplished at is hiding pain behind the guise of stoicism. "

  Bethany froze as she heard the torment inside him. Her heart breaking for him, she reached to touch his hand, but couldn't find it.

  "I'm sorry, my lady. I didn't mean to . . . I should be going. " He was moving away, she could hear his retreat.

  "Hector? Please, don't go. Stay with me. "

  Styxx savored words no one had ever said to him before. Never once. Rather, people were forever sending him away. Before he could stop himself, he headed back to her side.

  She held her hands up to feel for him. "Are you still here?"

  He placed his hand into hers and allowed her to pull him down next to her. The urge to cup her hand to his cheek was so strong, he wasn't sure how he kept from complying. "I am here. "

  The smile on her face slammed into him. "Should we just speak of the weather?"

  "Whatever topic pleases you. "

  She reached up to finger his jaw and lips. "The one thing that is hard without sight is judging moods at times. Since I can't see your expression, I can't tell yours right now. You are good at hiding it. "

  "My mood is that I am happy and content just to sit with you, Bethany. " He brushed a stray piece of hair back from her cheek. "You don't even have to speak to me at all. "

  "But I would like to know you. "

  Those words tore through him. "There's nothing really to know. I work. I study and I sometimes sleep. "

  "What do you do for pleasure?"

  Not a damn thing. Except for one . . .

  "I ride to this stream where there is an amazing girl who plies me with beautiful smiles and wine and bread so that I can remove the taste of foot from my mouth. "

  She shook her head at him. "And before me?"

  "There was no before you, Bethany. I had no pleasure whatsoever. "

  Bethany hesitated at those words. She heard the sincerity in his voice. But was he serious? "None?"

  He placed her hand to his face so that she could feel his earnest expression. "None. "

  Before she could stop herself, she pulled him into her arms and held him close. His strong arms surrounded her with warmth as she breathed his scent in. He held her as if she was unspeakably precious. As if he loved her . . .

  But she knew better. In fact, he could be lying about everything. Most men, in her experience, did.

  She felt his jaw tensing as he tightened his arms around her and cupped her head in his hand. He took a deep breath in her hair then released her.

  "I can't believe no man has married you. "

  "Who says I want to marry?"

  "Don't you?"

  She shook her head. "I refuse to answer to anyone for anything. My life is my own, as is my body. No one is ever going to command me. Have I offended you yet?"

  "Not even a little. I cherish your spirit and I hope you always have it. "

  She frowned. "Why do you say that?"

  Styxx fell silent as his past churned inside him. He might have held her conviction at some point in his life, but he couldn't remember a time when he hadn't felt like a tired, whipped dog. "Life has a way of breaking even the strongest among us. "

  Bethany's breath caught as she heard his underlying agony. "The strongest of metals is forged under the most violent of conditions, my lord. It is buried deep in the hottest coals and then beat and pounded until it is bent into shape. Then it becomes the strongest, most lethal of weapons. A thing of absolute beauty and force. "

  But only when it's wielded by the right hand. Galen's words whispered to him and he finally understood what the old man had meant about the reasons to fight.

  For this woman's safety, alone, he would battle.

  "You have the most amazing outlook, my lady. "

  "And you don't?"

  "Mine is much bleaker. It is one of responsibility and expectation. But I would much rather see this world through your eyes than mine. "

  "But my eyes are blind. "

  "And yet, as you said, they see so much more than others. . . . My beautiful Bethany. I feel like I've known you a lot longer than one day, and I don't know why. "

  Bethany fell silent. She felt the same and it made no sense whatsoever. Why did he call out to her when others never had?

  What floored her most was that he wasn't grabbing at her or even trying to kiss her. He was so respectful of her space and her body.

  Her Hector was unlike any man she'd ever known.

  He sighed. "It's getting late and I don't want you out alone in the dark. I need to let you go. "

  She had a feeling he wasn't just talking about this meeting. "Will you visit me again?"

  "Would it please you?"

  "It would. "

  "Then I shall come. " He

stood up then helped her to her feet.

  When she bent over to pack her basket, she bumped heads with him. "Ow!" they said simultaneously.

  Laughing, Styxx righted himself and realized that once again, all the voices in his head were quiet. He never heard them when he was with her.

  Why?

  "I hope I didn't concuss you, my lady. "

  She rubbed her head. "Not yet, but I fear you might be trying. " Rising up on her toes, she pressed her cheek to his. "Until next we meet. "

  He closed his eyes and savored the sensation of her body next to his and her breath falling against his neck. "I will be counting down the heartbeats. "

  Styxx handed her the basket and pole and watched as she vanished into the forest. He didn't move until she was completely gone from his sight.

  There was nothing he wanted more than to stay with her forever. But it was an impossible dream. He'd be more likely to convince his father to return Acheron to the line of succession.

  And yet . . .

  She is just another trick of the gods sent to torture you with something you know you'll never be worthy to have.

  It was true. Why else would she be here?

  July 26, 9532 BC

  "Styxx! Come in here, there's a matter of great importance I need to speak to you about. "

  Resisting the urge to let out a frustrated breath, Styxx turned on the stairs and headed for his father's study.

  Just what I was looking forward to. Another lecture on how I've disappointed you.

  He entered the room and shut the door behind him. "Yes, Father?"

  "Have a seat. "

  What did I do now?

  Styxx complied as his father sat back in his own chair to stare at him with an unsettling intensity. Yes, this was going to go badly for him.

  His father stroked his beard as if seeking the right words. "A troubling matter has come to me. "

  The blood left his face. He knows I'm a whore. . . .

  Don't overreact. Calm yourself.

  "And that is, Father?"

  "You haven't sired any bastards. "

  A relieved breath left him so suddenly that he was slightly dizzy from it. How was that a bad thing?

  "I learned that the last whore I paid off wasn't yours and so I went and investigated the others only to learn that none of them had slept with you either. "

  If his father had only listened to him, he'd have known it a lot sooner. "How did you find out, Father?"

  "None of them had knowledge of your scars. "

  That would do it. Not like any of them could be hidden from a lover.

  Styxx sighed. His poor father. The only thing he'd been proud of was bastard children Styxx didn't have. "I don't see how this is a problem. "

  "It disturbs me that I can find no woman you've ever touched. "

  His anger exploding with that comment, Styxx rose to his feet. "This is not a discussion I want to have. "

  "Sit!"

  He debated the wisest course of action. Well, not necessarily the wisest, but the one that would leave him with the most dignity. Unfortunately, it was the last action he wanted to take.

  He sank back into his chair.

  His father moved to stand beside him. Cupping his chin, he forced Styxx to meet his gaze. "Are you Ganymede?"

  Styxx screwed his face up at the accusation. Not just because he wasn't, but because his uncle and others had used him as if he were. "No!"

  "It's all right if you are. While I prefer a woman's soft sheath, I have been known to spear a worthy ass or two in my day. "

  Styxx cringed at a thought that made him want to vomit. There were things no one wanted to know about their parents and this was definitely at the top of his list.

  But his father took no mercy on him as he continued. "Really, Styxx, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Estes has always had a preference for men, and it's never bothered me. "

  Styxx sat in stunned silence as hatred flowed thick through his veins. You knew how he was and you turned me loose with him? What kind of father would do such a thing?

  His jaw went slack.

  "But my brother has taken women on occasion. When he told me he'd seen to your training in Atlantis, I'd assumed they were female whores he used. "

  Oh, this just got better and better. "What all did he tell you about my time in Atlantis?"

  "Don't be angry at Estes. I merely voiced my concern that you haven't been acting as most men your age . . . that you passed on the women I've sent to you for your pleasure. And that I worried the priests might have damaged you. "

  Styxx rubbed at his face, wanting to punch his father. Yes, they had damaged him, but not in the way he meant. Gods . . . how much more of this shit would he have to suffer?

  "Estes told me that when you were first with a lover you were quite bashful because of your scars, but that once you got started, you forgot about them. He said I shouldn't be worried about your ability to perform. That he'd seen you erect himself. However . . . when I learned that the maids had lied about your using them . . . I am worried. How can you be king with no heirs?"

  How could he sit here with his father talking to him in this manner and not die of abject horror, shame, and humiliation?

  The wonders of the world never ceased to amaze him, either.

  "So I've taken it upon myself to set you up with a mistress. "

  Styxx gaped at him. "I don't want a mistress, Father. "

  "Then a tsoulus. Male or female. Your choice. "

  "I damn sure don't want that!" he growled as more pain slammed into him.

  That ignited his father's fury as he glared down at him. "Then explain to me what is going on with you? Why is my son as chaste as my daughter? It's deplorable. "

  Deplorable.

  Maybe you should have thought of that before you left me to be manhandled by your priests and gods. Or better yet . . .

  Your perverted brother.

  Styxx rose slowly to his feet and forced his anger down before he made his father do something neither of them would forget or forgive. "I don't need your help getting laid, Father. Really. "

  When he opened his mouth to speak, Styxx held his arm up to his father's face so that he could smell his skin. "I have a woman. Not that it's any of your business. "

  His father smiled in relief as he caught Bethany's unique feminine scent of lilies and eucalyptus. "You're in love?"

  Styxx nodded. "It's where I disappear to when you can't find me. "

  "Thank the gods of Olympus!" His father drew him into a hug. "Is she noble?"

  "No. "

  "Then why haven't you set her-"

  "It's my concern, Father. I'd appreciate your staying out of it and away from her . . . please. She's a good, decent woman and I would never shame her in any way. "

  "How can being a prince's mistress shame anyone?"

  How indeed?

  There were times when he truly hated the man who'd sired him.

  "I want her left alone. I mean it, Father. "

  His father held his hands up in surrender. "Fine. I will stay out of your affair, except to say this . . . you will have to marry a princess at some point and breed an heir with her. "

  "I know. But I'm not king yet. "

  "No. You're not. " His father clapped him on the arm. "Very good, then. I shall see you at dinner. "

  Styxx inclined his head to him then headed for his room. His father would really shit if he ever learned that he had yet to kiss the woman he loved. That all they'd done to date was sit and occasionally hug.

  But that was more than enough for a man who'd been given so few that he remembered every one he'd ever received.

  August 18, 9532 BC

  Bethany smiled as Hector read his philosophy lesson to her while she reclined in the quiet circle of his warm, muscular arms. She had her hands curled around his forearm, which lay against her stomach while his chin rested on top of her head. His body was so hard and ripped, yet at the same time extremely comfortable. She loved spending afternoons with him like this. He'd read his assignments out loud and then they'd discuss the ideas for days. In all her life, she'd never met anyone more intelligent or thoughtful. Anyone more kind and humble.

  Even now, his erection pressed against her back, but he didn't say a word about it. He never did. Nor did he press her for anything more than the pleasure of her company.

  He was content just to hold her and talk about absolutely nothing for hours on end. She'd never known a man like him. Reaching up, she laid her fingers against his jaw so that she could feel the hard muscles there work while he spoke in that deep husky voice that soothed her better than nectar.

  As she swept her hand against his lips, his erection jerked in response. Still, he read to her between gentle, playful nips to her fingers.

  After a few minutes, he paused and placed his scroll to the side. He leaned back against the tree behind them and cupped her cheek in his large hand.

  "Bethany?"

  "Yes?"

  He bit his bottom lip as he hesitated. She felt his heartbeat quicken against her shoulder blade. If she didn't know better, she'd think he was afraid of something. But her Hector was always fearless and forthright.

  Hector took a deep breath before he spoke again. "Would you mind terribly if I kissed you?"

  Her smile widened. "No, my sweet. I've been wanting you to for weeks now. "

  Still, he hesitated.

  "What's wrong?"

  He swallowed hard. "I've never kissed a woman before. So please, don't be offended or think badly of me if I screw it up with my ineptitude. "

  Her poor sweet Hector. He was so bashful at times . . . but always so preciously sincere and honest. Wanting to please him, too, she pulled his lips down to hers.

  Styxx growled in pleasure as her tongue swept playfully against his. Never in his life had he tasted anything better. With the most dulcet of laughs, she nipped at his lips then gave him a kiss so scorching it left him dizzy and breathless.

  Bethany sank her hands into his soft curls as she explored the sweetest mouth she'd ever tasted. For a man who claimed he'd never kissed, he was exceptional at it. She could breathe him in all day.

  And when he finally pulled back, he placed his thumb to her bottom lip as if savoring the feel of it.

  "That was so much better than I'd imagined. Thank you. " He kissed the tip of her nose then her forehead.

  Closing her eyes, she snuggled back into his arms and let him hold her again. "Why are you so reserved with me, Hector?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "Most men wouldn't be so content with a mere kiss. Nor would they have waited so long for it. Why are you different?"

  "It is not your kisses I come for, my lady. It's your tender company that means so much to me . . . though now that I've had a kiss from you. . . " He placed a chaste one on her lips.

  She laughed then gave him a much deeper kiss. Mmm . . . the taste of him and the length of his long, hard body . . . He was so insanely delectable. Never in her life had she wanted any man as much as she wanted this one.

  Human or not.

  Wanting to please him as much as he pleased her, she took his hand into hers and led it to her breast.

  Styxx sucked his breath in sharply as he felt her through the soft linen and his body hardened to the point of pain. Slowly, he ran his hand over the contours of her breast then swept his thumb over the taut nipple. His body on fire, he wanted to sink himself deep inside her so badly that he could already taste it.

  But he would never dishonor her like that. Never make someone cry because he'd touched them. Especially not his Bethany.

  He involuntarily flinched as he remembered how he'd felt when Estes had purged the drugs from his body and he'd first realized how badly and rudely they'd used him.

  Like he was nothing.

  Bethany pulled back with a frown. "What's wrong, Hector?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "You jerked just now like something bad went through your mind. What plagues you, my lord?"

  Sighing, he laid his head against hers. "I'm terribly scarred, Bethany. "

  "I've never felt any on you, except the one on your forearm. "

  Not wanting to think about the cut his father had given him, he took her hand and led it to the skin he always kept covered with his chiton and chlamys.

  Bethany hesitated as she felt the puckered flesh that covered his ribs. His scars were truly deep and numerous. "What happened?"

  "I was burned. "

  "Oh, Hector. . . "

  "And there are more. In more private places. "

  Turning in his arms, she knelt between his legs. "You know I don't care. "

  "But I do. "

  She kissed his hand and offered him a bittersweet smile. "Then I will patiently wait until you trust me more. But know that I would never, ever hurt you in any way. "

  Styxx stared at her in awe. She was the only person in his life to say that to him, but did he dare trust her? Everyone in his life, including his twin, had betrayed him. Trust always meant profound pain. . . .

  And Bethany's would sting most of all.

  Even so, he couldn't help the way he felt about her. How much she meant to him. In all the world, she was the only thing that mattered. Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her. "I love you, Bethany. "

  "And I love you. "

  "Then run away with me. "

  She pulled back with a frown. "What?"

  "Now. Today. Let's leave this place and-"

  "Hector, I can't do that. I have things I have to do here. And so do you. What would your father say?"

  "I don't care. "

  "Yes, you do. I know you better than that. You are a man of responsibility. It's part of what I love about you. You always put the needs of others before your own. "

  Yes, but this one time he wanted to be completely selfish. In all his life, he'd never wanted anything the way he did this woman. For her, he'd give up everything he had and more.

  "I would walk away from it all for you, Beth. "

  She pressed her cheek to his. "But in time you could change your mind. "

  "No, I won't. "

  "I know you mean that today. But time and circumstance have a way of mocking our best intentions, and I'm not willing to take that chance. "

  Sighing, he laid his head against her breasts and let her cradle him there. Her heart beat slowly against his ear while her breath fell against his skin. The scent of her warmed him more than the sun. Honestly, he never wanted to leave the circle of her arms. It was the only place he'd ever felt as if he was welcome.

  Loved.

  Bethany smiled down at him. Her Hector never failed to surprise her.

  She tightened her arms around him, wishing she could leave everything behind and be with him. How wonderful would it be?

  But the other gods would come for her and they would kill him for distracting her from her duties.

  After a few seconds, he lifted his hand to brush it against the breast he faced. To her complete shock, he hooked his thumb into the material of her peplos and pulled it aside so that he could blow a stream of cool air over her bared nipple until it puckered tight.

  It was so unlike him. . . .

  She frowned. "Hector? What are you doing?"

  "Hopefully, not offending you. Since you haven't slapped me or yanked my hair, I'm assuming I'm allowed?"

  She smiled down at him. "You're allowed. "

  Styxx's heart pounded at the sight of her lush perfect naked breast. His mouth watering, he moved his head so that he could sample the taut peak. He groaned at the incredible taste of it as he rolled his tongue around the areola then suckled her gently.

  Bethany cradled his head as he moved to taste her other breast. Her body was so hot and needful that it was all she could do not to betray herself as a goddess. She wanted him inside her so badly that it was absolutely painful.

  Leaning back, she pulled him with her and released the pins that held her gown up so that he had complete access to her breasts. Then she brushed her hand against his hard erection.

  Styxx froze as a fleeting bad memory went through him. . . .

  "Hector?"

  He allowed her sweet voice to keep him grounded in the present and not on what Estes had done to him. "I'm right here, love. " He placed a kiss on her stomach, before he pushed her gown down, over her hips until she was completely naked to his gaze.

  His throat went dry at her unadorned, flawless beauty. Unlike him, there wasn't a scar on her body anywhere.

  Frowning, she reached to cover herself. "Hector?"

  He shook himself mentally as he realized he was sitting back from her. "I'm right here, precious. " He took her hand and led it to his face as he laid his body over hers. "I was just temporarily stunned by how beautiful you are. "

  "Then you're forgiven for scaring me. I thought you'd run off and abandoned me naked in the woods. "

  "I would never do that to you. " He made sure to keep his skin against hers so that she could feel him with her.

  As she reached to remove his chiton, he caught her hand.

  "Is something wrong?"

  Even if she felt the brand on his groin, she'd have no way of knowing it said "whore. "

  But still it was there. Mocking him with the cruelty of his past. And because of the scars from that and the priests, he had sparse pubic hair. So little that the brand was easily seen and not really covered at all.

  He leaned his head down and ground his teeth. "Before we go any further. . . " He led her hand to the scars on his thighs and buttocks.

  Bethany sucked her breath in sharply as she felt what had been done to him. When she'd touched his side, she'd assumed it had been caused by a fire. But these . . . she could feel the outline of a poker. It'd left deep welts down the inside of his thighs, all the way to his scrotum. There were places where he had little to no hair from the scarring. But what wrung her heart was the sheer number of them. He'd been tortured over and over again.

  "Why would someone do this to you?"

  "They thought I was possessed by the god Dionysus. And the priests sought to burn the evil daemons out of me. "

  Heartbroken over what they'd done, she placed her hand to his cheek. "My poor baby. I'm so sorry they hurt you like this. "

  "Please don't ever tell anyone. "

  "I would never be so cruel. "

  He kissed her then. So slow and tender that it made her breath catch. When she reached to remove his chiton, he jerked back.

  "Sorry," he whispered. "I don't like being seen. "

  "I can't see you, Hector. "

  "That's not true. You're the only one in my life who does. " This time he remained perfectly still while she undressed him.

  "Are you all right?" she asked.

  He placed her hand to his cheek and nodded then he nibbled her fingers and palm. Bethany sighed in pure pleasure. No one had ever made love to her like this. There was no rush at all. Rather they were truly exploring and sharing not just their bodies, but a part of their souls.

  "You're so beautiful," he whispered against her throat as his hand skimmed over her hip and thigh.

  She parted her legs for him.

  Styxx hesitated as he realized that she was a bit more experienced at this than he was . . . and a lot less bashful. "Beth? You've been with other men, haven't you?"

  She went rigid under him. "I have, but I'm not a whore. "

  He cupped her face, wishing she could see his sincerity. "I would never call you that. It's not what I was implying at all. I just . . . I don't want to accidentally hurt you with my inexperience. Or disappoint you. "

  Bethany felt tears prick the backs of her eyes. He was always so concerned about letting her down. Though he seldom mentioned his family, that ever present worry let her know just how harsh they must be toward him.

  About everything.

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