NO ORDINARY ROOM

by Bill Williams

  Jamie was saddened by the mention of Uncle Stanley and asked again about how it was possible to change an object into something else. He was thinking about sparrows into giant Trioptica and not trees into furniture.

  ‘I’m afraid you would have to understand the complexities of atomic structure to have any chance of understanding that, Jamie, but I have already mentioned the ATAC system to you. Perhaps you might ask your friend Geoff. There are still some things I haven’t told you, but hopefully what you now know might help you in future when you try to get your head around things. I could have changed your dad’s image processing, but got Koolebron to use ATACS to produce those animals your dad saw in the garden, because it had a more dramatic effect.’

  Jamie told Soupinpota that it had been really scary watching his Dad be brushed aside by the tiger on the lawn.

  ‘Jamie, I do have a confession to make about the coconut shells and cabbage leaves experiment. I simply turned off your remote brain for the first part of the experiment.

  ‘That was a real gotcha.’ Jamie laughed.

  ‘Sorry, about. I nearly forgot to mention that Koolebron has made sure that the rest of your family will have no memory of the various incidents that happened to them, including the bats or the animals that your dad saw on your lawn. So, it’s farewell, my friend, or should I say, Tarra, Jamie.’

  Jamie didn’t have a chance to deliver his own parting message or ask a serious question about something that had been bothering him. He had wanted to ask Soupinpota that if he really was a computer then who made him and did he look like a robot. Jamie felt a wave of sadness come over him when he realised that he would probably never hear from his faraway friend ever again. He knew that he would probably think of Soupinpota every time he switched on a computer. Soupinpota had been more than a friend, he had been his guardian and he would miss him.

  The voice of Auntie Sue who was standing just behind him might have been the reason for Soupinpota’s haste in ending their communication.

  ‘Come on you two, before the light fades. Just the one photograph and then you can carry on with your boy’s talk.’

  ‘Just give us a sec, Auntie Sue,’ replied Jamie as he watched Geoff yawn and then rub his eyes.

  As soon as Auntie Sue had headed back towards the house Jamie asked Geoff a question.

  ‘What sort of a question is that? Geoff replied. ‘I know as much about what you just asked me as I do about….’ Geoff struggled to find a topic and finally settled on brain surgery.

  ‘So you don’t know anything about advanced atomic structure?’

  ‘Is this some kind of joke?’ Geoff asked.

  ‘No I was just wondering if the old school covered the same subjects as the one in Devon.’ Jamie lied and then suggested that they had better go join the others for the photo taking.

  Jamie had to endure another round of female rellie pestering at the end of the photo session and he was sorry when Geoff had to go home.

  When the relatives started leaving, Jamie joined his mum and dad who were sat with Uncle Steve and Auntie Sue on the patio. Uncle Steve was starting to get sentimental and when he came back with some more drinks he put his arm around Kevin’s shoulder.

  ‘Anyway, I’m glad you’ve come back home, our Kev. You can stay here for as long as you like, but I expect you will be moving into some posh area thanks to Uncle Stanley’s house sale.’

  Kevin told his brother that he had discussed things with Debbie and they planned to give Steve what was left over from the sale of Uncle Stanley’s house after they had bought somewhere to live. They were hoping to buy an ex council house in the next street to Marie Curie Avenue which would be much cheaper that what they got from Cyril Judd for Uncle Stanley’s old house. The money held in trust for Jamie and Leanne’s education would also be shared with their cousins when the time came. Steven tried to refuse his brother’s offer, but Kevin and Debbie ignored all the objections and so there was some more celebrating to do.

  * * *

  Granddad Len had dozed off after he’d stopped ranting about the current state of politics and the many issues that he called his ‘hobby horses’. Grandma Dawn had left earlier because it was Bingo Night and Debbie had persuaded her to go and it was Debbie who was the next to flag when she said that it had been a long day and Leanne was looking tired.

  Auntie Sue who had been watching Leanne playing with her cousins earlier and remarked how Leanne seemed happy to be back and didn’t think she would miss Devon

  ‘She’ll miss Mr Rosser’s horse, Falcon,’ Jamie said, ’Did Mum tell you that our Leanne won a big horse jumping contest at the Steaderton Show.’

  Debbie smiled at the happy memory, ‘Yes, we were really proud of her that day.’

  Jamie was just about to escape from the patio to avoid hearing some of the family stories yet again when Uncle Steve pointed to him. ‘See, our Jamie. He’s a little genius with computers.’

  ‘He is that,’ Jamie’s dad agreed, not that he would know.

  Uncle Steve’s voice had been getting louder, ‘Heh, Jamie.’

  What’s coming now, Jamie wondered, sensing that his favourite uncle was just a little bit merry as a result of the drink he had probably started consuming, even before the party had started.

  ‘Heh Jamie, I forgot to tell you. You had a telephone call, just before you got here. It was from somebody called erm, erm. Now what was his name! Let me think, er, it was Cyril somebody. Cyril Mudd was his name. I should have remembered because I thought what a funny name. He sounded old and said to tell you that you know who from Scarborough has been rebuilt and is as good as new. I asked him to repeat it and that’s what he said.’

  ‘Thanks, Uncle Steve,’ Jamie replied and didn’t bother to tell him that the name was Judd and not Mudd.

  ‘Does it mean anything to you and who the heck is you know who?’

  ‘I’d tell you Uncle Steve, but it wouldn’t make much sense, but it’s really good news, even better than Liverpool beating Everton.’

  ‘Blimey!’

  ‘Don’t ask him to explain, Steve. He’s got some funny friends and he’s got too much imagination by far that lad. Ever since he was a baby, too much imagination, but we love him.’

  ‘Uncle Steve, could I use your computer please, so I can check my email?’

  ‘Of course you can my genius of a nephew. You know where it is.’

  ‘Will I need a password?’

  ‘Oh yeah, you’ll need that won’t you? Come over here while I whisper it to you.’ Uncle Steve replied and pretended that it was a well kept secret.

  ‘Uncle Steve, that’s not very secure,’ Jamie groaned after his uncle had whispered the word, Everton. Jamie would have betted a month’s pocket money that Uncle Steve would have chosen the name of his beloved football team. It was almost as bad as choosing ‘password’ as a password.

  Uncle Steve’s computer looked fairly new, but it seemed to take ages to start up and Jamie reminded himself that any computer was going to seem slow compared to Uncle Stanley’s special. When it did eventually come to life Jamie gasped when he saw the desktop picture. It was exactly the same as Uncle Stanley’s, but he didn’t have to wait long for an explanation when a familiar voice came out of the twin speakers standing either side of the computer monitor.

  ‘Hello, Jamie, please don’t be alarmed. This is Cyril Judd?’’

  ‘Hi, Mister Judd. Are you using Uncle Stanley’s machine?’

  ‘Yes, and I have had a few rather surprising communications since you left and I don’t understand some of the things I have been told. I was asked to pass a message on to you which I gave to your Uncle Steven. The other thing is that your Uncle Stanley asked me to play you a message he recorded shortly before he was killed in the accident, but asked that you made sure that no one was present while you listened to it. Are you alone at the moment?

  Jamie confirmed that he was and told him that his Uncle Steve had passed on his message. Cyril explained that there
would be a short delay to allow Uncle Stanley’s old friend to leave the room and then he would hear the message.

  Jamie was wondering if Mr Judd would return later when he heard the familiar voice of Uncle Stanley.

  ‘Jamie, I hope you get to hear my message because there are some important things you would want to know. First of all, I want to say how proud I was with the way you handled everything. You had a tremendous responsibility placed on your young shoulders and you coped with it all. Some of the things you have been told by your friend, Soupinpota, were not true, but that was done for your benefit in order not to frighten you more than necessary. He told you that some terrifying incidents were merely the result of your image processing being changed, but only the descending door was the result of modifying your image processing. Devilmortex changed harmless fish into sharks that day and he ‘programmed’ some youths on the cliff top to break into your dad’s car and push it over the cliff. By the way, Jamie, the next time you are thinking of teasing your young sister you might want to remember that she might have saved your life and your dad sort of spared mine. The day before you and your family were due to arrive, I secretly visited my old house to do some emergency work on the computer that I remembered needed doing. I was actually in touch with Koolebron when Rufus came into the house and was looking for Ohmslaw. In order to avoid me being seen by Rufus, Koolebron used ATACS, which I believe you are familiar with, to change me into a small creature. Once the transformation was complete, I, or should I say, the rat, hid in the wardrobe in the bedroom you occupied on your first night in the house. The choice of being turned into a rat would have been a poor one if Ohmslaw had tried to attack me, but perhaps Koolebron thought I would be quite safe. Anyway, Rufus came into the room calling out for Ohmslaw and he closed the wardrobe door, trapping the rat inside it. Your soft hearted dad tried to kill the rat the next morning, but finally took pity on it and released the rat into the garden. I woke up as me in a garden three doors away and managed to walk away from the area without being seen. I found out later that a glitch in the system had prevented Koolebron from ‘bringing me back’ earlier. I am sorry that I didn’t throw out Ohmslaw’s collection of trophies as I intended and you had to bury the collection of mostly mice in the garden the day after you arrived.’

  Jamie had been trying to think how his sister could possibly have saved his life and he was stumped, but Uncle Stanley was about to settle his curiosity.

  ‘Your case was very similar, Jamie, except Devilmortex turned you into a mosquito. It was the time that you woke up in the garden and it looked as though you had been sleepwalking. Your dad had tried to kill the mosquito and it was only your sister’s pleading that had stopped him from finishing the mosquito off.’

  Jamie remembered Soupinpota telling him that ATACS could be used to change a human into some other life form, including an insect. Devilmortex must have been changed him into a mosquito while he was in bed and the mosquito had flown down to the kitchen. He hadn’t realised until now the part that Leanne had played that day in saving the life of the mosquito and in future he would never accuse her of being soppy.

  ‘So, now it’s time to say goodbye, young, Jamie. I am sure that you will have a very interesting life and one day you may discover why I left you the key to what I think you’ll agree, was no ordinary room. Goodbye, Jamie.’

  The display on the screen changed and Uncle Steven’s computer desktop displayed a picture of Everton’s current team, but not before Jamie saw a message flash up and quickly disappear.

  * * *

  ‘That was quick,’ said a surprised Uncle Steve when Jamie rejoined the family.

  ‘He doesn’t look to happy,’ chipped in his dad, ‘He must have got a ‘dear john’ email from that girl Isobel.’

  The adults laughed and Jamie walked away, heading for the quiet spot near the fishpond. He had a sneaking feeling that the message from Uncle Stanley had been ‘live’ and not recorded because if Soupinpota could be restored then perhaps Uncle Stanley had as well.

  Jamie had switched off his Uncle Steven’s computer after Uncle Stanley had said his goodbye. Jamie had smiled when he’d seen that the bed was covered in very large insects and they were marching in step just like soldiers. He had never seen a bug before, but he guessed that’s what they were because they were wearing clogs and he was intending to ask his Dad to take him to Bootle.

  When the marching bugs had disappeared, Jamie’s smile had been replaced by a worried look when he recalled the message that had only been displayed for a few seconds. The message had been on view long enough for him to see, ‘I’M BACK, JAMIE’, blazoned across the screen with the name DEVILMORTEX underneath it. Jamie hoped it was just another Soupinpota farewell joke like the marching bugs wearing clogs.

  End