Relentless Liberation

by Fine, L. J.

  “First off, I had no way of knowing it was your birthday, so don’t try to put that particular guilt trip on me, buddy. That said, happy birthday.” His lips quirked upward and she didn’t know where she got the gall, but she continued. “And second, I’m not a tight-ass. I’m just not very good with people.”

  For a few moments he said nothing, just gazed at her with some foreign expression she couldn’t read. Then he scooted closer to her and spoke. “First off, it’s good to see you do have some bite to you.” He winked at her as he brought his beer to his lips. “And second, how do you know you aren’t good with people if you’re never around any? Why do you lock yourself away from the world?”

  She groaned. “I should have known I’d be in for another inquisition. Why are you so curious about me all of a sudden?”

  He shrugged. “I dunno. I just am. Besides, didn’t we agree that we were gonna get to know each other?

  “We did but you have yet to tell me anything pertinent about yourself. Quid pro quo, Mr. Serano.”

  Sitting back in his chair he folded his arms across his chest. “Fine. You wanna know something about me? I own this bar and named it after my father. Now it’s your turn. Answer my question. Why do you shut everyone out?”

  She could only gape at him as she processed yet another shotgun blast of new information. But she could tell by his body language that he wasn’t going to elaborate and then his question registered. “I don’t seem to be very proficient at shutting you out.”

  “That’s because I’m a persistent motherfucker.” He grinned.

  “That’s true, very true.” She laughed, and then when she noticed his stubborn expression, she sighed. “All right. I don’t shut everyone out. I’ve just had a few bad experiences as far as relationships go, so I’m cautious.”

  “What kinds of relationships? Romantic or friendships?”

  Why would he ask that? What difference did it make?

  “Both.” Oh she so didn’t want to get into this with him. She barely knew him and he was starting to poke into some very raw territory. Chloe didn’t even know the full story as to why she was so backward.

  It was his turn to sigh. “You need to expound. What sorts of bad experiences?”

  “Listen, usually when people get to know each other, don’t they start out small? Sharing things like where they’re from, what their family is like? What they do for a living?”

  “I already know what you do for a living and I just told you what I do.”

  “No, you dropped the ‘I own this bar’ bomb on me and then promptly asked me another very personal question. Every time we’ve spoken so far it’s been all about me. You need to expound. How long have you owned this bar? Your father must be proud to have it named after him. And while we’re at it, how old are you? Since today’s your birthday and all.” There. Put him under the microscope and see how he likes it.

  Cocking his head to the side, he exhaled roughly from his nose, the sound more suited to coming from a pissed-off bull. It had the no-doubt desired effect of intimidating her and she might have backed down if he hadn’t then said, “All right, fuck it, you’re right. I’ve had the bar for about five years now. Well, my brothers and I own it. My dad passed away while the building was under construction, so when it was finally finished we thought it fitting to name it after him.” He took a look around him and a wistful smile graced his lips. “You know, seeing how things turned out I bet the old man probably would be proud.”

  Once his eyes landed back on hers, his smile turned inviting. “And I’m thirty-two as of today.”

  So that made him four years older than her twenty-eight. “I’m sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds like you were close. You have brothers?”

  “Thank you and yeah, three older brothers, actually. What about you? Siblings?

  She shook her head. “No, it’s just me. It would have been nice to have a sibling, I think.”

  Reaching for his beer, he laughed. “Yeah, maybe for you it would have been nice. Not so much for me. My brothers made it a hobby of theirs to beat the shit out of me every chance they got. Tough love.”

  “Your relationship with them obviously turned out okay, though.” She laughed. “And maybe that’s the reason you fight every week? Whaling on someone else the way you couldn’t on your brothers relieves some of those repression issues of yours?”

  Nodding, he chuckled. “Yeah, I guess that’s a part of it anyway. But really, why were you so afraid to come out with me tonight?”

  Running her tongue over her teeth, she squinted at him. “You mean besides the fact that you’re a gargantuan, tougher-than-nails fighter who could crush me without a second thought?”

  There went that killer smile of his again. “You know I won’t hurt you, so yeah, aside from that.”

  Really? He wouldn’t hurt her? She knew that? As much as she wanted to believe that, she had her doubts, though she kept them to herself. It was obvious that Tyler wasn’t going to let this go until she told him what he wanted to know, so she decided to give him something, if not the whole story, just to satisfy his curiosity. “Like I said, I’ve just had some bad experiences. The last few people I let get close to me really did a number on me, you could say. I thought they had my best interests at heart but it turned out that not one of them even had a heart to speak of. One of the people in question was a childhood friend I’d had up until we went to college. I had assumed, incorrectly, that I could trust her and that she cared about me as much as I did her. That somehow we were equals.”

  Mina couldn’t contain her sneer of disdain. Daisy had been many things over the years but a true friend was not among them. Throughout their lives, Daisy had done nothing but string her along. She had lured her in with the promise of true friendship and the sister-like love she never had. What a lie that had been.

  “In hindsight, I guess all the signs were there. Daisy, that’s her name,” she added for his clarification, “was nothing but a cold, manipulative bitch who moved me around to suit her purposes.”

  Risking a glance up at Tyler, she found him watching her intently, a frown marring his handsome face. “I don’t exactly want to get into the gritty details but all of her misdeeds eventually came to a head a few years ago in an extremely unpleasant way. Ever since then, I’ve found it hard to trust people. Like I said, I’m just cautious.”

  The frown got deeper. “So you lock the rest of the world out because of some bitch who took advantage of you while you were growing up?”

  Immediately her hackles rose. She had taken a chance and semi-opened up to him and he was going to trivialize an experience that had been traumatic for her? He didn’t even know the full extent of what had happened.

  “Of course, it was more complicated than that. And she wasn’t the only person involved. In fact, she was more or less the catalyst.” She exhaled heavily as she looked over at him. “I really don’t even know why I’m telling you this. And you also have to understand that I’ve never been what you call outgoing to begin with. I’ve always felt out of place, so mix my low self-esteem into my natural aversion to social situations and you can understand why it is that I’m so confused someone like you even noticed me. Let alone wants to know all the gory details of my life.”

  Raising his eyebrows, he lifted his hands in a placating gesture. “Hey, no judgments, remember? I know exactly how you feel, so I can understand why you reacted the way you did. I know how tempting it can be to just say ‘fuck the world’ and then crawl into a hole inside yourself.”

  She scoffed in disbelief. “You know what this is like? Have you ever felt unworthy or unwanted a day in your life?”

  “Hell yeah, I have. Mina, what do you think it was like to grow up with three older brothers? And something you need to know and understand is that I wasn’t always this gargantuan size, as you called it, and intimidating.”

  Actually, in her opinion it wasn’t even his size that was so threatening. He was taller than most, around six foot t
hree she was guessing, and had to weigh close to two hundred pounds, all of it solid muscle. He wasn’t bulky or hulked out. Lean, sinewy, sexy muscle covered his body. But it was the way he carried himself, his outthrust of confidence and intensity that was the intimidating part. And now that she knew him a little better, his shrewd intelligence and quick wit made him all the more disarming.

  “I didn’t grow up in the nicest of neighborhoods. I was kind of a runt and where I come from if you can’t defend yourself… well, let’s just say it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. That was part of the reason for the constant pounding I took from my brothers. In their own way, they were teaching me how to fight, to protect myself.”

  Suddenly he grinned. “Then eventually I got bigger. So yeah, I understand where you’re coming from but here’s a better strategy. You need to let go of your preconceived ideas and stop giving a shit about how other people see you. They don’t matter, so who gives a flying fuck what they think?”

  “But your opinion matters, doesn’t it?” she snapped.

  He shook his head. “Only to me. It only matters to me.”

  Before she could reply, Chloe and Brian returned to the table, laughing and out of breath. That was just as well because she didn’t know what she might have said in response, anyway. The tension between Tyler and Mina felt so thick Mina marveled that her two carefree friends didn’t choke on it.

  By this time Tyler had finished his beer, so he mumbled something about needing another one and left the table before either Chloe or Brian could pick up on anything amiss. They sat down and Chloe animatedly started in on a story involving one of the fighters and his unfortunate lack of rhythm but Mina only half listened. She kept replaying Tyler’s words in her head.

  Once again, he had managed to completely surprise her and once again she found herself realizing that the actual man bore little resemblance to her fantasy man. Grudgingly, she had to admit that the real thing was so much better, had so much more depth than she had given him credit for and if at all possible her admiration for him grew.

  Inwardly she sighed. It didn’t matter how much she liked or admired him. Now that they had their little spat—or whatever the hell that was—she wouldn’t be surprised if he avoided her for the rest of the night. It wasn’t like this was a date or anything.

  Admitting that she adequately pushed him away, she forced herself to focus on what Chloe was saying to her. In the end, it was probably better this way anyway. She still didn’t have a clue what it was he wanted from her in the first place, but keeping him at arm’s length felt like a wise move.

  And so it was that when she finally forced him out of her thoughts, he came back to the table with a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses. Deftly flipping them up on the table and filling them to the brim, he slid one to her.

  “Drink up,” he ordered.

  Craning her neck to gaze up at him, she could feel the bemusement coming off her in waves. He felt it too, she knew, but it seemed he didn’t care as he sat down next to her once again.

  “Our conversation was getting too heavy. And you remember what I said to you about you needing to loosen up?” He nudged the shot glass closer to her.

  “You were the one who got us on such a serious topic to begin with.”

  “I know and now I’m changing the subject. Do some shots with me.” When she eyed the tequila dubiously, his stern expression turned playful. “Do I need to play the birthday card? Because I’ll tell you right now that I will. I have no shame.”

  “That’s a fact.” Brian laughed, bringing Mina’s attention to the fact that there were two other people sitting at the table with them. Chloe regarded her with a raised eyebrow, a knowing smile on her lips and a challenge in her eyes.

  Mina raised an eyebrow right back at her. Seemed as though Chloe and Tyler were on the same side after all.

  Screw it, she thought. It had been too long and she was entitled to let loose and have a little fun every now and again. Besides, she didn’t think she would be able to persuade Team “Let’s Corrupt Mina” into letting her be. So with a lift to her chin, she picked up the glass and tossed the shot back.

  It had been too long and immediately the taste had her gagging. Tyler laughed and handed her his beer to chase it down. “That’s a girl,” he said, downing his own shot before taking the beer bottle from her and slinging some back.

  While the potent alcohol burned a line down her throat and into her stomach, making every corner of her body begin to feel languid and fuzzy around the edges, she was distantly aware of the fact that she and her uber-crush were sharing out of the same bottle. The thought of placing her mouth where his had recently been made her giddy, like an adolescent girl. Couple that with the tequila and it made her just this side of horny too. She licked her lips and smiled to herself.

  “If you’re going to get her wasted, then you can give her drunk-ass a ride home,” Chloe said to Tyler as she gave Mina a wink.

  “Don’t worry. I got her.” He rested his arm along the back of her chair and she felt the warmth of his proximity like millions of little electrical pulses along her spine.

  “You know, she is an adult and she is sitting right here,” Mina grouched to cover up that tingling feeling. “I can control myself, thank you very much.”

  “And that’s the problem right there.” Tyler frowned as he poured more alcohol into their glasses. “You need to let go of some of that control. And aren’t you lucky that me and Jose here are willing to help you with that?” He put that wicked smile back in place as he slid her another shot.

  “So lucky.” She laced her tone with sarcasm but part of her did feel lucky. She really didn’t know why or in what way but he was genuinely interested in her.

  Deciding right then and there not to worry or overthink it anymore, she raised her shot glass and toasted him before she threw back the contents. The burn went down easier this time but she still had to grab his beer for a chaser.

  He slammed down his shot glass and abruptly stood, pulling her up with him. Without uttering a single word, he grabbed her hand and started leading her toward the dance floor. In her hazy state it took her a few minutes to react, but when she finally could, she did so by digging her heels in and yanking on her imprisoned hand.

  “Oh no, I don’t think so,” she said in a near panic. “I don’t wanna dance. One drastically new thing at a time, Tyler.”

  “I think you should be loose enough to dance with me. Or do we need to do another shot?”

  While she weighed the pros and cons, Chloe wasted no time at all jumping to her feet and grabbing Mina’s other hand to help Tyler tug her out onto the dance floor. “Come on, Mina. We’re gonna have fun. Just let go.”

  Taking a deep breath, she looked at them and thought what the hell? Tonight apparently was a night of self-liberation and soon she was out on the floor with her friends, feeling good and moving to the music.

  They were only on the floor a few seconds when Tyler got waylaid by a group of women he obviously knew. Mina scowled the moment his hand slipped from hers but Chloe pulled her focus back to dancing, rolling her eyes at his groupies and making her laugh.

  As one song morphed into two and the alcohol ran its course through Mina’s veins, a nice fluffy cloud of laughter and rhythm settled over her. Why had she never done this before? The feeling was euphoric.

  Unbidden, she remembered that Daisy used to go to clubs all the time. She had always discouraged Mina from going with her, saying that she wouldn’t fit in, and persuaded her that it wasn’t her scene. So she had always stayed at home reading a book while her faux best friend went out and had a good time without her.

  For the first time, a spike of anger shot through her at the memories. Why the hell had she taken Daisy’s words as gospel? She should have gone anyway to find out for herself. God, she had been such a puppet back then. What had she been so afraid of? Now she found herself wondering anew what Daisy’s motives had been in holding her back. Going over all of
the same conversations and events again as she had so many times before, only this time with the righteous indignation of a slightly inebriated mind.

  But before she could formulate any solid theories, a strong arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her back into a hard body. The beat had changed into a sultry rhythm and his hips rolled into hers with perfect timing. She knew without having to turn around that it was Tyler behind her. Even without the satisfied smile that sprang to Chloe’s face when he appeared she would have known.

  It was in the way he smelled, clean and crisp like a fresh fall breeze, the way he moved with confidence and purpose. His sheer presence alone was already familiar and burned into her senses. And to her surprise, they fit together flawlessly as they rocked back and forth to the music.

  She should have known he would be a good dancer. The man seemed to know exactly what he was doing with his body at all times. The thought made her shiver.

  He spun her around to face him, pulling her close as his knee slid between hers. Their fingers linked together and a slow sensual smile tugged at his lips when he trapped her hands behind her at the small of her back.

  “You feeling loose enough yet?”

  Words failed her. She could only stare at his mouth and nod. He laughed, the sound tingling down her already sensitized nerve endings.

  “Good.” He twirled her out then back into him, startling her into a giggle.

  All too quickly, the song ended and he released her. Chloe linked her hand with Mina’s as Tyler murmured that he would be back and went to mingle with various people in the crowd. She tracked his movements through the bar throughout the night. Watched as he laughed and accepted birthday wishes and marveled that he always came back to her.

  Alternating between doing more shots with Tyler and going back out onto the dance floor, her night flew by and she couldn’t remember a single other time when she had so much fun. Or when she had drunk so much.

  By the end of the night she definitely felt the effects of the alcohol. Tyler, seasoned drinker that he was, handled his liquor much better. Even though he cut them both off at the same point during the night, by the time they left he was sober while she was still dangerously tipsy.