Relentless Liberation

by Fine, L. J.

  What a fool she had been to entertain even the most fleeting of such fanciful thoughts. She really should have known better.

  Later, when she was alone and had time to fully process this news, she would let herself truly feel it. Later, she would nurse the wounds left behind by that tiny spark of hope she had as it died out. For now though, she shrugged it off like she always did, pretended it didn’t matter because in the long run it didn’t. Deep down, she had known that it couldn’t be any other way.

  She forced a laugh and pushed away from the counter. “Well what did you think he’d say, Chloe? That he was madly in love with me?” She winked at her friend in a playful manner she didn’t feel. “I told you that a guy like that would never be interested in me that way. Them’s just the facts. No sense in entertaining delusions of grandeur.”

  Chloe scowled. “To think that any man, even one like Tyler, could be interested in you is not even close to delusional, Mina. You just haven’t found the right one yet. He’s out there. And we’re going to find him.” She muttered the last more to herself than to Mina.

  “I don’t like the look of those wheels turning in your head. Just stop, Chloe. It’s not gonna work. Tyler was a case in point.” One look at Chloe’s empathetic expression and Mina’s shoulders slumped. “I do appreciate the effort, Chloe, really. But you can’t force something that’s not there. I have a lot of shelving to do, so I’ll see you in a bit.”

  And with that, she walked away and tried to push all thoughts of Tyler out of her head for as long as she could hold them off.

  It worked for about three hours until Mina went into the break room and heard her phone beep, alerting her that she had a text message. It was Tyler.

  Can’t make it today. Got stuck at the bar. You still coming to the fight tonight?

  Shit. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts that she forgot it was Tuesday. And for the first time since their friendship began, she actually felt awash with relief that he wouldn’t be able to make their standing coffee break. After clearing up the mental and emotional aftermath of that little bomb of Chloe’s, she really wasn’t up to seeing him just then.

  But no matter how she felt inside at the moment, Tyler hadn’t done anything wrong. She didn’t even want to hint to him that something might be amiss because she knew he would ask her about it. How humiliating would it be if she told him that she had actually thought their friendship might be leading somewhere?

  No, she didn’t want to have that conversation, so it had to be business as usual. She had never missed a fight before, so she wouldn’t miss one now.

  Sucks to be you. I’ll be thinking of you while I sip my mocha. And of course I’m coming tonight.

  Almost instantly after she pressed send, her screen lit up with another message from him.

  Yeah yeah rub it in you little tease. I’ll pick you up after work.

  She flushed. Was this how brothers spoke to their sisters? Somehow she doubted it. When he said things like this it made it seem as though she had a shot at being more than just his friend. Since he pretty much kept her to himself, she had thought that his shameless flirtation was directed at her.

  Now that she could see it in the light of a different perspective, the few times she had seen him interact with other women, mainly at the fights, he had been just the same. A shameless flirt. A personality trait of his from which she should garner no special meaning. Perhaps it would be a good idea for her to begin distancing herself from him. Even though she couldn’t have him the way she wanted him, she still wanted him in her life, just maybe not so frequently. She needed space if she was going to be able to wrap her head around what their situation actually was, not what she wished it to be.

  That’s okay don’t go out of your way. Chloe’ll give me a ride.

  Again came his instantaneous reply.

  I told you I like taking care of you. But I’ll see you later so it’s all good.

  Taking a deep breath, she tapped out an “okay”, hit send and put her phone back in her purse. It was one thing to pretend that nothing had changed in a few text messages. She wasn’t sure how she was going to do it when she actually saw him, as observant as he usually was. Then again, she supposed nothing actually had changed. Now she just knew for a fact what she had suspected all along to be true actually was. No big deal, right?

  Tonight was going to be a long night. She could already feel it.

  Chapter Seven

  The gym was the same tonight as it was every week. The sights, the scents, the sounds, even the people were all the same. She was the only thing different from the status quo and she felt it keenly. Her nerves, which had abated somewhat since knowing Tyler, were revved up again almost as much as they had been that first night. It wasn’t just her inner emotional shift causing her blood pressure to go up either.

  Chloe had insisted on dressing Mina up that night. After work, Chloe had driven them straight to her apartment to find something sexy for Mina to wear out of Chloe’s wardrobe. Two hours and many lost arguments on Mina’s part later, she found herself standing in their usual spot beside the ring wearing an extremely unusual outfit. Well for her at least. To someone not in the know, she might blend in quite nicely with all the other scantily clad women who attended these fights on a regular basis.

  The black skirt and black sparkly tank top she had on were both so tight it they felt like a second skin. The skirt’s hemline was indecently high while the neckline of the tank was embarrassingly low. She kept tugging at both of them in a vain effort to cover more skin than the scraps of fabric would allow. Black leather booties with a thankfully comfortable high heel and silver jewelry about her neck and wrists completed the outfit. Chloe had lined Mina’s eyes in a smoky way and styled her honeyed hair to fall past her shoulders in long tousled waves.

  Apparently, this was what sexy looked like and Mina couldn’t have been more uncomfortable.

  “Will you relax?” Chloe said, elbowing her playfully. “You look amazing, so stop fidgeting.”

  “Yeah, amazingly stupid. I can’t believe I let you dress me up. I feel so awkward right now it’s not even funny,” Mina grumbled crossing her arms over her chest then, seeing how the movement pushed more of her cleavage into view, she dropped her arms back to her sides.

  Chloe turned and pierced her with a stern look so intense it took Mina aback. “You need to remember that it’s all about confidence. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You’re beautiful, Mina, and so worth the attention of every single guy that’s drooling over you right now. You just need to believe it.”

  Mina rolled her eyes. “There aren’t any guys looking at me, Chloe.”

  A smug smile graced her lips as she looked at something over Mina’s shoulder. “Are you sure about that? Because I see a few fine men over there checking out your ass.”

  Following Chloe’s stare, she turned to find that sure enough, there was a group of three men not so far behind them staring at them. Mina would have played it off that they just happened to be looking in their direction, not at all checking her out, if the cute blond one hadn’t smiled and winked at her the moment she turned around.

  She felt the blood drain from her face. Throwing a lame smile back at him, she turned back to Chloe. “This has nothing to do with me. I blame the slutty clothes you forced me to wear.”

  “Yeah, keep telling yourself that.” Chloe laughed. “But I’m pretty sure it’s the body filling out those clothes that’s grabbing so much attention. Besides, I know that guy; he’s a member of the gym. His name’s Mark. He doesn’t usually fight but he’s good people.”

  The speculative look in Chloe’s eyes as she scoped Mark out made Mina nervous.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Mina bit out.

  “Hmm?” Chloe muttered distractedly, probably already formulating plans. Then, as if she had just remembered, she said, “Oh! By the way, after the fight we’re going out.”

  “Wait, what? I really don’t think
I’m up for going to Abel’s tonight after this, Chloe.” No, all she wanted to do after her obligatory appearance at the fight was go home, take a long hot shower and crawl into bed with her self-pity until she cried herself to sleep. In fact, she had been looking forward to doing just that since Tyler dropped her off at work that morning.

  “I know exactly what you want to do after this and I’m not going to let you. You need to live, not mope. Tyler isn’t the be-all and end-all. And we aren’t going to Abel’s. There’s a club uptown that Brian and I go to all the time. Actually, a lot of the fighters frequent that place. And I’m betting that Mark over there would be more than happy to meet up with us later.” She wagged her eyebrows and licked her lips and Mina couldn’t help but laugh, even though at the moment she felt more like throwing up.

  “How are you going to play matchmaker if Tyler’s there?” Not that she thought he would care one way or another if she flirted with someone else—it was just that when he was there Mina had trouble focusing on anything or anyone but him. She didn’t want to be rude.

  Chloe tossed her hair over her shoulder and waved Mina’s concern away with her hand. “That’s easy. Tyler won’t be there. I made Brian promise not to tell him, which means that you have to make the same promise. The guy’s like a pit bull around you and I don’t want him scaring any potentials off.”

  Mina felt the shock as it covered her face. “Just listen to you. You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you? Good grief, Chloe, you sound like a mother trying to marry off her only daughter. I can’t lie to Tyler if he asks what I’m doing later.”

  “Even easier. Don’t talk to him tonight. You put in your appearance and he’ll see you. Then tomorrow when you talk to him, tell the truth. Say I dragged you out before he was done showering.”

  There was definitely an underlying deviousness to this plan that Mina didn’t like, but at the same time, she didn’t think she could handle him tonight. Not with the gaping hole his earlier words to Brian had unwittingly ripped through her.

  And who knew? Maybe she would hit it off with Mark and that was certainly something she couldn’t even attempt with Tyler around. If he was there, he’d be all she saw.

  Once again, she found herself going against her better judgment and saying to herself ah, what the hell? If she had learned anything from her past experiences, it was that she couldn’t live her life to please other people. She didn’t owe Tyler anything but her friendship, so what could he really say about it? And that was assuming he would, indeed, say anything about it at all. If all he felt for her was a brotherly affection, then a harmless flirtation with another man shouldn’t bother him in the slightest.

  Why she was even thinking about this so hard was beyond her. Maybe it was that she always tried to be honest with herself and in the spirit of doing so she had to admit that she wished that it would bother him. That he truly wanted her all to himself.

  But she knew how fruitless such a wish was, so she agreed to go out with Chloe after the fights.

  Soon the first round of the first fight began and she lost herself in the rhythm of that elegant violence. The energy of the crowd, she began to realize, made her feel more alive than she ever had. The grunts of the competitors as fists met flesh, the shouts of the spectators as they encouraged or called out bets, was such a rush. It was as though she were doing something forbidden in a place she had no business being. It was intoxicating.

  As Tyler was probably one of the best fighters they had, he came out, as always, for the last fight of the night. And as always, the moment she saw him her heart fluttered and her mouth went dry. He was all muscle and sinew, big and imposing.

  With his mouth set in a mean line and his short dark hair in messy disarray, he looked sexy as hell. A sharp jolt of pain reverberated through her chest as the realization hit home that he would never belong to her. She was firmly in the friend zone and he wasn’t interested in any more than that.

  Then the bell chimed and the fight began pulling her out of her thoughts for a time. The bout had only been going on for a few minutes when something pulled at Tyler’s normally unwavering focus. His gaze flashed to her and in the split second that his attention was elsewhere, his opponent landed a solid hit to his temple. Mina gasped as the blow knocked him backward and just like that, his head and his attention went back into the fight.

  In his usual style, he creamed his adversary, his focus never wavering again.

  Once the match ended and the ref called out a winner, raising Tyler’s arm in the air, his dark gaze landed firmly on her. If at all possible, his mouth set into an even grimmer line than it had been when the fight began and the strangest intensity lit up his eyes as he stared down at her.

  The quelling look gave her pause and made her feel as though she had done something wrong. Something to displease him. Though what she could have done between this morning and now to put him off was a mystery. Given the look on his face, she found herself glad for the second time that day that they wouldn’t be interacting with each other one on one, grateful for the excuse not to stick around.

  Finally, he pulled his attention away from her as someone in the ring began speaking to him. Swallowing hard, she took a deep breath and turned to face Chloe.

  “For someone who just won a fight, he looked mightily pissed off, didn’t he?” Chloe said with a grin.

  Mina failed to see the humor. “Yeah. I don’t know why he’s in such a foul mood but maybe we ought to get out of here before he comes out to find us.”

  “Oh I have a few guesses as to what’s eating him but I’ll keep them to myself. Come on, let’s go, sweetie.” Chloe looped her arm with Mina’s and led the way to the door.

  Because Brian had to stay after the fight to finish up some business, Chloe and Mina left for the club intending to meet him there. It only took about ten minutes to get there and when they entered the building, Chloe went straight to the bar to order drinks.

  As they waited, Mina noticed a group of men enter, one of them being Mark. Mina looked to Chloe, who was smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

  “While you were so engrossed in the fights, I texted Mark to let him know where we were going to be. Don’t look at me like that, Mina. You’ll be thanking me later.”

  Almost as soon as she finished speaking, Mark and his buddies made their way over to them.

  “Hi,” he said with a charming smile aimed right at Mina. It was nice but she couldn’t help comparing it to a certain lopsided, impish grin she had grown used to.

  “Hi,” she replied lamely.

  When she didn’t say anything else, Chloe took it upon herself to get the conversation rolling. “Mark, I’d like you to meet my friend, Mina. Mark, I forget now, how long have you been a member of the gym?”

  And with that an amiable conversation began, even if it was a little stilted. No matter how personable Mark was, and he was maybe one of the nicest guys Mina had ever met, her heart just wasn’t in it. But she was determined to give it her best shot, so she laughed and maybe even flirted a little. Unfortunately the flirtation, she knew, was a byproduct of Chloe’s presence and insistence more than anything else.

  She must have been giving an award-winning performance because after a while he asked her to dance.

  Perhaps sensing her hesitancy, Mark took the lead on the dance floor. While his hands remained on entirely appropriate places, his lower body grinding against her told her that he was more than happy to see her.

  Seriously, what was this, The Twilight Zone? Throughout the course of her life, with maybe one exception—which she strongly suspected didn’t count—men never looked at her twice. Take Tyler for example, she thought bitterly.

  Maybe there was a full moon or something that night. Or maybe it was just these stupid clothes that Chloe had shoved her into. They projected a certain image that Mina didn’t fall in line with. Still, Mark seemed like a decent guy and it did feel nice to be wanted for a change.

  She had just relaxed into his embrac
e when he was forcibly ripped from her.

  “What the fuck, man?” Mark growled, and when Mina realized who he was speaking to, her stomach bottomed out.

  Tyler got right up into Mark’s face, his expression one Mina had never seen before. Not even during one of his fights and she didn’t know what to make of it. “You need to back off her. Right now.”

  “Hey.” Mark held his hands out and took a step backward. “No disrespect. I didn’t know she was your woman.”

  Finally, Mina found her voice. “I’m not his woman. We’re just friends.”

  Both men ignored her as Tyler moved his body between her and Mark. “Now you know.”

  Wait, what? Since when?

  While her brain sputtered Mark nodded at Tyler then turned to her and smiled. “It was nice to meet you, Mina.”

  With that, he left the dance floor, leaving Mina alone with a volatile Tyler and the small crowd gathering around them.

  For a few moments Tyler glared after Mark as he disappeared through the crowd and all Mina could do was stare at his broad shoulders blocking her view. He took a few fortifying deep breaths, seemingly to calm down, before he finally turned to her.

  “Come on, we’re leaving.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her off the dance floor before she could utter a word. She was too stunned.

  They got off the dance floor and passed the bar before she snapped out of it. She tugged her hand to no avail. His grip was unbreakable. “Tyler, what the hell are you doing? Let me go.”

  “I’m hanging on by a very thin thread right now, Mina. I wouldn’t test my patience if I were you.”

  “What? You aren’t even making sense. Let me go,” she repeated, tugging more forcefully in the vain hope that he might ease up. She obviously had stepped into an episode of The Twilight Zone because this situation was completely unreal.

  Its bizarreness was only compounded when he abruptly stopped and said, “You wanna do this the hard way? Fine.” With no further warning he ducked down, tossed her over his shoulder, and then continued to make his way out of the club.