by Fine, L. J.
And Daisy. Who now knew where she was.
God, why had it taken her so long to realize what a manipulative user Daisy was? In Tyler’s words—what a twat.
Tyler. Just thinking about him made her feel better, safer. Even though, for whatever reason, he wouldn’t commit to her, she knew that he cared for her. No matter what happened, he would stand by her. He told her often enough he enjoyed taking care of her. And even though he couldn’t tell her what his demons were, it was time she confided in him and told him hers. She didn’t have a choice now and he needed to know.
So it’s settled, she thought with a deep breath, somehow feeling better just for having made the decision. Tonight after the fight she would tell Tyler about Daisy and Doug. The whole story.
Chapter Eleven
The closer Mina got to the gym, the more she started to second-guess her decision and the more nervous she got as a consequence. By the time she found a parking space and finally entered the building, her entire body shook and she felt on the verge of a panic attack.
Oh this wasn’t going to work. If Tyler saw her right now, he would probably flip his shit and demand to know what was wrong. Knowing he had to fight tonight, she had decided to wait until after to tell him her story. She didn’t want him to be preoccupied with her drama and lose his focus in the ring. So she hurried to the ladies’ room before anyone she knew noticed her.
Shutting herself into a stall, she closed the toilet lid and sat down with her head in her hands. Taking deep breaths to regulate her breathing, she gave herself a mental pep talk. Despite her anxiety over opening up to Tyler, she knew it was the right thing to do.
This was Tyler. Her best friend. Her lover. And if she were honest with herself, he was the man she loved. He would help her—she knew this so she couldn’t pinpoint exactly why she was so apprehensive about it.
Deciding that she was being ridiculous, she shook it off and was about to exit the stall when she heard female voices. One of them mentioned Tyler’s name.
“I’m telling you girl, tonight’s the night with Tyler. I’m going for it.” Mina peeked between the small cracks in the bathroom stall to see who spoke. Two blonde amazons stood by the sinks, touching up their makeup in the giant mirror. She didn’t know either of them but had seen them around. The one who spoke wore a sparkly pink tank top that matched her sparkling-pink lips to perfection.
“I don’t know. I think he might have a girlfriend,” the other woman said, scrunching her nose, the diamond stud through it glinted with the movement.
Pinky gave her friend a drool look. “You mean that quiet, boring girl he hangs out with, who looks like she has a stick shoved up her ass? Puh-lease, she wishes. She wouldn’t know what to do with a fine man like that even in her dreams.”
Studs smiled and shrugged. “All I know is that for the last few months, those two have been inseparable. Don’t ask me what it is he sees in her but I think there might be something going on.”
“Oh come on. The only thing that could possibly be going on there is Tyler throwing her the occasional pity fuck.” Pinky ran her finger under her bottom lip to erase a smudge caused by her candy-colored lipstick. “Besides, she’s friends with Chloe. Maybe he owed Brian a favor. No way he’s actually into her.”
“Well, there’s only one way to find out. Go for it like you said and see what happens.” Studs bit her lip and wagged her eyebrows. “Just make sure you let me know how it goes. He’s so damn sexy I’ve always wondered about him.”
“I know, right?” Pinky laughed. “After the fight tonight I’m gonna find out. He won’t even know what hit him.”
With that, the two women left the bathroom, their bubbly laughter trailing after them as the door swung closed.
Mina felt sick. She had to admit to herself that she had often wondered why Tyler wanted her. Usually, he got her so hot and bothered that her doubts would leave her mind almost as soon as she had them. There were even times when he had actually made her feel beautiful. But she never stopped to think about how they looked together. His “fuck what other people think” attitude had rubbed off on her to the point where she only saw the two of them.
Overhearing that not-so-pleasant conversation coupled with the earlier visit with Daisy had Mina considering the possibility that maybe Tyler did pity her. Maybe that was the reason he didn’t want a full-blown relationship. More than likely it was the reason he had started talking to her in the first place. She’d been so odd, backward and out of place he had felt sorry for her.
Okay, stop, she admonished herself. She had never known Tyler to be that cruel and it wasn’t fair of her to even consider that he could be. He cared about her. That much was obvious.
So she squared her shoulders, renewed her resolve to complete her mission for the night and left the bathroom in search of Chloe and their usual ringside spot. Luckily, Chloe was there waiting for her when she took her place.
“Oh there you are,” Chloe said with a smile. “For a minute I thought you weren’t coming.”
Mina forced a smile, determined to convince herself that everything was all right, absolutely nothing for her to worry about. She would talk to Tyler later and everything would be fine. “I just had to make a quick pit stop to the ladies’.”
Her fabricated smile must have given her away because Chloe’s expression became speculative. “You sure you’re okay? You’ve seemed a little off ever since that snob came into the store.”
For a second, Mina debated how much to tell Chloe. Part of her still craved that sisterly bond she thought she’d had with Daisy, and if Mina had ever found a true friend, she knew that Chloe was it. But she would never have that kind of a friendship if she didn’t take the chance and trust someone.
She decided right then that she would let go of the hesitation Daisy had instilled in her and open up to Chloe. Mina realized that she couldn’t keep these walls up forever. That would be such a lonely existence and in the end she would only be hurting herself.
And Daisy would have won.
“It’s a really long story but I promise I’ll tell you. Maybe some night this week we’ll grab dinner and talk?” Mina didn’t want to get into it with all these people around and she wanted to tell Tyler first.
The warm smile that graced Chloe’s face then almost brought tears to Mina’s eyes. “Can’t wait.”
Soon after, the fights began and the two of them chattered excitedly about who would win each round or they’d snicker at how obvious some of the amazons were being in their flirtation with the fighters. She could laugh about it outwardly but in the back of her mind, she couldn’t help but replay the conversation she overheard in the bathroom. Would Tyler give in to Pinky’s advances? Would he get sick of Mina so soon and move on to bigger and better things?
The thought had a lump forming in her throat and her stomach flipped.
When it was his turn to take the ring, Mina saw Pinky making her way toward his corner. The woman was shameless. She tugged her low-cut tank top down and adjusted her cleavage to the point that if she took one deep breath her breasts would spill out. Jumping up and down, she called out Tyler’s name and when he turned toward her she bit her glossy lower lip and threw him a flirty finger wave.
Relief flooded over Mina when all the reaction Pinky got for her effort was a nod from Tyler to acknowledge her presence.
As the ref introduced the fighters, Tyler’s gaze sought Mina out. When he found her, he gave her that wicked smile of his and her stomach fluttered. He winked at her and she rolled her eyes, making him laugh.
She could feel Pinky’s glare ignored it as a strange sense of triumph that she had never before experienced filled her. For once the guy actually wanted her, not the dumb bimbo vying for his attention. What an amazing concept and an extremely welcome change of pace.
Eventually the fight started and Tyler had no more attention to give either of them. As usual, he only had eyes for his opponent. And as usual, Mina couldn’t help marveling at his
strength and the way he controlled his body so efficiently. Of course, now whenever she saw him fight, her mind couldn’t help but wander off to when he focused all that power and efficiency on her. She shivered and she knew a small Mona Lisa smile spread her lips.
Her daydream took over and she was startled when she heard the ref calling out a winner, signaling that the fight was over. She wasn’t at all surprised to see Tyler’s hand raised in the air as the cheers and shouts filled the room.
As Tyler left the ring, she chatted with Chloe until Brian caught up to them. Then she excused herself to head back to the locker rooms in search of Tyler. By now, the other fighters were used to her waiting at the edge of the locker room door for Tyler so no one batted an eyelash at her presence.
In fact, everything seemed normal until she rounded the corner and found Tyler in the hallway talking to someone with his back to her. A lead ball settled in her stomach when she realized it was Pinky.
The amazon wrapped her blonde hair around her finger, staring up at Tyler with coquettish eyes and a come-hither smile on her frosted lips. He must have said something hilarious because she threw her head back and gave a throaty laugh, reaching out to touch his arm.
He didn’t brush her off or politely back away. Instead, he moved closer to her and in doing so Mina could see his profile. The impish grin that Mina had come to completely adore graced his face and he tugged on a piece of Pinky’s hair before he said something else that had her in stitches.
All of the earlier exultation she had felt seeped through her pores and evaporated. In its place came the bitterness and dejection she had grown so accustomed to prior to meeting him. Of course, deep down she had known that it wouldn’t take Tyler long to get bored with her, but damn it, she thought it might take a little longer than three weeks. Turned out she was only deluding herself.
Spinning on her heel, she hurried to get out of there before he noticed her. She could only imagine how awkward that would be—Tyler trying to find a polite way to get rid of her until he could tell her in private that their little tryst was over.
Wow, this had just been the day to top all days. First her unexpected run-in with Daisy and the very real threat she posed, then overhearing about her complete lack of allure and how pitiful she seemed to be in the ladies’ room. Now this. Tyler confirming everything she had overheard.
It was just too much.
To her credit she made it the whole way to her car and out of the parking lot before she lost it. The tears ran freely now and she barely held back a scream. The hell with it. No one would hear her anyway and no one would care even if by some miracle they could, so she let it out. Until her breath ran out and her throat felt raw and the only sound left was the ringing in her ears.
Then a soft melody permeated the confines of her car. Her phone. She ignored it. There wasn’t a person on the planet she felt like talking to right now, so whoever it was could just leave a message.
The drive home blurred before her and she arrived at her destination on autopilot. Her phone starting ringing once again when she parked the car and got out. Mentally telling the caller to piss off, she shoved her cell into her pocket and jogged up the stairs to her apartment.
Once inside she slammed the door, threw her purse down and leaned back against the door’s hard surface, just listening to the sound of her harsh breathing.
This was always the worst feeling. Like her skin was a prison keeping her from going everywhere at once. Frustration, anger, betrayal and helplessness coalesced inside her, forming a poison that felt like it rotted through her veins. She could see no immediate relief, only time—and contrary to popular belief, it was nowhere close to being capable of healing all wounds.
How could she have been so blind? She had been down this road more times than she could count but she’d still somehow found herself back in this awful place. Her only defense was that this time she had genuinely hoped that Tyler would be different. That the amazing way he made her feel would be a permanent state of being.
What a fantasy.
Her cell phone started up its ringing again, vibrating against her hip. On a frustrated growl she ripped the thing from her pocket and almost flung it across the room when she saw that it was Tyler. Instead, she just glared at it as though he would be able to sense it through the phone until it stopped ringing. Then she noticed her two missed calls. One from Tyler and one from another number she didn’t recognize.
The dread she felt earlier when she first saw Daisy fractured and spread. Could it be that Doug had found her already? No, if it had been him, he would have left her some sort of disturbing message. That was his MO. She didn’t have any voicemails so maybe she still had some time before he caught up to her.
But she had a feeling Tyler would keep calling her or maybe even show up at her apartment if she didn’t answer him. When he was done with Pinky, that was. She wasn’t in any condition at the moment to have that inevitable conversation with him, so she sent him a text telling him that she’d left the gym early because she wasn’t feeling well and she’d talk to him tomorrow.
Before he had a chance to reply or call her again, she turned off her phone. She wanted to lock the entire world out right now and that especially included Tyler. To think she had actually been about to tell him all about this complicated and crazy mess she was in. She’d been about to tell him everything. So maybe the flirtation she witnessed tonight between him and that slutty amazon had been a kind of divine intervention.
This was an opportunity for her to take a deep breath, take a step back and evaluate what she was really doing with Tyler and what her next move should be. She couldn’t deny that he did indeed care about her on some level but she had to face facts—it would never be the way she cared for him. When he had proposed their deal, she thought she would be able to handle it, that she didn’t want to get that close to him either. Now she recognized her thought processes for what they were.
Total bullshit.
She had wanted him so badly that she took him any way she could get him, trying to rationalize her decision by making herself believe that this arrangement was all she wanted.
Now she knew better. She was in love with a man who would never love her back. She should never have agreed to his deal in the first place. It had been a foolish mistake. Tomorrow she would talk to him and rectify the situation, end whatever kind of relationship this was between them. And then she would come home and start packing.
Chapter Twelve
Mina woke the next morning groggy-eyed and full of grim purpose. On her way to work, she remembered to turn her cell back on and found another missed call from Tyler and an answering text message to the one she sent him. It said:
Call if you need me. Don’t care what time it is. If not I’ll see you tomorrow. Feel better baby.
There was concern in his message but apparently he hadn’t been concerned enough to come check on her. Then again, she thought with a little more rationality, he wasn’t her nurse or her mother—just her friend. After all, she wouldn’t expect Chloe to drop everything to come check on her in the middle of the night just because she had a tummy ache.
Still, she couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling of what exactly she would have been interrupting had she called him last night. Would he have been with Pinky? Did he take her home last night, as was the amazon’s ultimate goal?
Mina could just imagine Pinky and Studs getting together over lunch to discuss all the sordid details and Mina knew from experience that there would be many. Would she tell Studs about how dirty he could be? The filthy words that came out of his mouth when he was so turned-on he couldn’t contain it?
Maybe Pinky would relate how forceful he was at times but gentle when he needed to be and that he was skilled enough to know the difference. Or how beautiful he looked when he was lost to passion and his muscles were straining and his lower lip trembled. Perhaps they would talk about his low, satisfied laughter or the sexy way he’d smile at her that made her f
eel as if she were the only woman in his universe.
A lone teardrop escaped to track down her cheek as her throat closed up. She gritted her teeth. If she wanted to be composed and aloof when she saw him today she needed to knock this shit off right now. She needed to get her point across to him and make it believable so that he would have no arguments. So that he wouldn’t be able to persuade her to change her mind.
She needed to remind herself that putting distance between them was the only sane thing for her to do and she needed to move on.
The first part of her shift dragged on. She was too preoccupied to concentrate on work, which was the only thing that would have gotten her mind off the coming confrontation. Thankfully Chloe had the day off, because Mina knew she would never be able to dodge her questions.
The closer to her break, the more anxious she became. She just wanted to get this over and done with so she could put it behind her. But she was a ball of nerves and prayed like hell she would be able to get through it. It got to the point where every time the door opened, Mina jumped out of her skin and looked to see who it entered the store until finally he came.
As always, the man exuded confidence and a staggering sex appeal that made Mina weak-kneed as he strode through the door. When he spotted her that slow, sexy half- smile spread his lips and she felt it all the way through her body. Squaring her shoulders, she took a deep breath and renewed her determination to see this through. He would not sway her.
“Hey, baby,” he said when he got to her and pulled her into a hug. “Feeling better?”
She closed her eyes as his strong arms enveloped her and she breathed in his scent—clean dark spices and Tyler. It would be so easy to lose herself in his warmth and security, to say to hell with her plan and just let him hold her. But this safety was just an illusion and it would only hurt her worse in the end.
