Peace of Infinity

by Maegan Abel

  “You need to leave it alone,” I said and I was acutely aware that not only would he not listen to me, I didn’t actually want him to.

  “No.” His voice was firm. “And I can’t believe you, of all people, would expect me to.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I asked, tipping my head to the side as I lost the train of conversation.

  “Two weeks, Ev? He gives you the answers you ask him for, lays out his heart on a goddamn silver platter, and you let him suffer for two damn weeks without even contacting him?” Dom raised an eyebrow at me, crossing his arms over his massive chest. “That’s pretty fucking heartless, if you ask me.”

  “I never claimed to have a heart,” I answered, my nails now digging so deeply into my palms, I was almost shocked I wasn’t standing in a puddle of blood. Why did Dom’s disapproval hurt so much?

  “Bullshit. You’re one of the most passionate people I know, and you’re dragging this out and making it harder on both of you.” I could swear my skin was bubbling and melting away under the heat of his glare. But I was not the villain here.

  “We aren’t talking about me,” I snapped, proud my voice held. “We’re talking about you. Who do you think is going to be stuck picking up the pieces of Cara’s heart and life if something happens to you?”

  He sighed and rolled his eyes like my concern was ridiculous. “I hate to be the one to tell you this, Princess, but we all die. Every single one of us. No one gets out of that aspect. The great thing is, we get to start over with a clean slate. We get to live with the knowledge that no matter what happens in this life, even if it is short, we’ll be okay because we’ll find each other again soon enough.”

  “You make it sound so simple. Have you ever seen it happen?” I asked, remembering exactly how much pain I saw in my grandmother’s eyes every single day of my life. It was easy to think life was short when you didn’t have to spend your life in that kind of pain.

  “Seen what happen?”

  “Someone have to live without their Infinity?” I asked, watching his face pale.

  “For starters, I’ve lived more cycles than you care to think about without ever meeting mine. But, yeah. I have seen it. Almost every single cycle I’ve had to watch someone I care about lose someone else I care about.” He licked his lips, dropping his hands to the edge of the counter again. The pointed look he directed my way had my stomach plunging as I realized he meant Gavin and I. “And no, it’s not fun. It’s never fun. But you know what, it’s life. It’s not something we can change, so why bother stressing about it?” he asked.

  He didn’t get it. For some reason, I needed to make him see. “You didn’t grow up in my family. You didn’t watch your mom give up and kill herself rather than stay in this life and raise her daughters.” My voice wavered only slightly.

  “You didn’t either. You weren’t even a week old, so you don’t remember her,” he countered, pushing. His eyes stayed on me, watching every flicker of emotion I might show. He was determined to get to the heart of it. Dom had a way about him and as frustrated as I was that he already knew so much, I realized a part of me wanted him to know more. I was connected to him in some way I wasn’t sure of yet. I cared about him.

  Dammit.

  So, I gave it to him. All of it.

  “You don’t have to live with the knowledge that your birth—your very fucking existence—is what killed your father, and ultimately, your mother.”

  His eyes widened in horror as my meaning registered. “Evangelie—”

  I didn’t give him the chance to continue. Instead, I turned on my heel and shoved out the door.

  To say I’d reached my breaking point would be an understatement. I could handle a lot of shit—I had handled a lot of shit—but the uncertainty I was currently living with had become overpowering. It had been twenty-six days since Evie walked out of my house after asking for space, and I’d given it to her. The only time I’d even seen her, aside from occasionally seeing her car driving through town, was the day she showed up at Dom’s store. Dom called me after she left and with what he told me, I was trying hard to see her side of things. The problem was, I didn’t know how to convince her she was wrong.

  In a way, it made sense that she struggled with what we were given the amount of loss her family had endured this cycle. She’d only seen pain. I hated to keep hoping I could get in there, but if she’d open herself up, even briefly, some of the good memories might come back to her as well. I just didn’t have a fucking clue about how to do that without pushing her away further. Hell, just answering her questions forced her to run and hide from me for nearly a month.

  I was at a loss.

  I decieded I was waiting a few more days and then I was going to go see her. What I was going to say was still up in the air. Some days I wanted to beg her to give me a chance, others I wanted to tell her to sever it just so I could have a tiny bit of fucking closure.

  It was nearing the end of what had already felt like a massively long shift when the call came in about a car accident. I headed in that direction as they fed me what info they had, which wasn’t much. A witness called in and said a blue four-door sedan was driving erratically and then ran off the road into a tree. I wasn’t far from the scene and when I came over the hill, everything in me rebelled at the sight. I knew that car.

  “Start me an ambulance,” I called into the radio at my shoulder as I jumped out. I ran at a sprint, my chest tight as I made it to the vehicle. I couldn’t see anyone in the vehicle coming up behind it. The passenger side of the car was wrapped partially around the trunk of a tree, making it impossible to approach from that side. There was no way someone wasn’t injured. I made my way to the driver’s side, eyes still scanning for someone in the car.

  “Cara?” I asked, leaning down into the open driver’s side door. My stomach dropped when I saw a prone figure lying haphazardly across the center console of the car, not moving. “Shit. Cara.” I leaned a knee on the driver’s seat and reached around to feel for a pulse. It was faint, but it was there. She groaned at the movement and I let out a heavy breath. It hurt to hear her make that sound because it meant she was possibly conscious.

  Leaving one hand on Cara, I scanned the area, looking for the driver, trying to see if there was a body lying somewhere nearby. I started to lean away to climb out of the vehicle, but fingers gripped my sleeve and I looked back down, seeing Cara’s eyes. The blood on her face didn’t mask the lines drawn with pain as she opened her mouth, groaning again in place of words. Sick didn’t begin to cover what I was feeling.

  “Cara, hang on, okay? The ambulance is coming,” I said, doing my best to stabilize her. There was a large gash down her right arm and I wrapped both hands around the wound, trying to maintain pressure to stop the bleeding. I looked her over again and noticed her right leg pinned by the crushed passenger door. “Dammit,” I muttered, worried about the possibility she was bleeding out somewhere I couldn’t see. Then I heard the sirens approaching.

  I should’ve felt relief from the arrival of the paramedics, but I wasn’t sure that would come anytime soon. The fire department was called to extricate Cara from the vehicle and I did my best to keep her calm, holding her head steady and talking to her. It was so much worse that she was awake now because there was no way to mask the horrible sound of screeching metal involved in the process. Every movement continued to cause her to cry out, making me wish with everything I had I could switch places with her for this moment. She was such an innocent soul. It was clear in her eyes from the first time I met her. She didn’t deserve this kind of pain.

  The scene became chaotic as the fire department and paramedics freed her. Other officers came to the scene and I bowed out of the investigation, telling them I hadn’t found a driver and letting them know the passenger was my girlfriend’s sister. A lie, since I didn’t have any idea what Evie and I were, but a quick way to get out so I could get in touch with her. I waited, helping out where I could as they carefully removed Cara
from the wreckage. She was unconscious now and I held on to hope that it was a good sign. Maybe it meant she wasn’t hurting or scared anymore.

  I realized how serious the situation was when they called for the helicopter. They weren’t going to be able to handle this at our tiny hospital; they were going to take her to Charleston. I told them I would contact her sister and we would be on our way. Using a towel and a bottle of water to wash the blood off my hands, I debated calling Evie, but this needed to be done in person. She’d lost so many people in her life, I didn’t want to think about her trying to drive all the way to Charleston while she was worried about her sister.

  I needed to talk to Dom as well, but Evie was first. I drove to the house and immediately noticed Evie’s car wasn’t there. Shit. I pulled out my phone to call her as I turned the cruiser toward the boardwalk, figuring she was at work. The phone rang twice before it clicked over to voicemail. Realizing she ignored my call, I pulled the phone from my ear and sent her a text instead.

  Me: I need you to call me. It’s an emergency. Cara was in an accident.

  It was the last thing I wanted to tell her via text message, but I didn’t have time to waste and it was clear she wasn’t answering my calls. It took less than thirty seconds for my phone to ring.

  “What happened?” she asked before I even had a chance to say hello.

  “Where are you?” I asked, needing to head toward her before she had a chance to leave.

  “I’m at work. What happened to Cara?” Her voice was tight and it shook with emotion.

  “I’m on my way. She was in a car accident. I’ll take you to her,” I said, immediately heading toward the diner.

  “Where is she? What happened?” she asked and I didn’t want to tell her anymore until I saw her. It wasn’t selfish, it was out of fear for her and the need to comfort her.

  “I’ll be there in five minutes,” I said, hanging up the phone.

  The second I turned into the parking lot behind the boardwalk, I saw Evie pacing by the door. I pulled up and she slipped into the seat as I took off toward Charleston.

  “What happened?” Evie asked again.

  “Seatbelt,” I reminded her before I continued. “I was the first on the scene. I don’t know the details. Car accident. She was pinned in the car and they air lifted her to Charleston.”

  “Oh God,” she said, her arms wrapping around her middle. Unable to help myself, I reached out and placed my hand on her knee. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel alone.

  To my surprise, she covered my hand with hers, twisting our fingers as she clung to the support I was offering. It broke me in so many ways, but I just focused on driving and left Evie to her thoughts.

  The drive to Charleston was quiet, which didn’t bother me. Evie wasn’t known for asking questions when she was overwhelmed or even worried. She was more likely to shut down and try to deal with it internally. I did my best to give her the space to do that while letting her know she wasn’t alone by keeping a hand on her whenever I could. Now I was watching her pace the room as we waited for a doctor.

  When we arrived, they directed us to the OR waiting area on the seventh floor and no one had been able to give us any kind of update. I’d tried to call Dom a few times, but his phone went to voicemail. I left a message saying I needed him to call me, but so far, I hadn’t heard back.

  “Jericho.” I looked up as Weston and Sanders approached. “We need to talk.”

  I glanced over at Evie and stood, making my way to her. She paused in front of me and glanced up, her eyes still red from her constant attempts at not crying. “I’m going to step out into the hall if you need me.” She nodded, but didn’t speak. I sighed and leaned in, pressing my lips to her forehead before heading out the door.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, closing the door behind me as I followed them a few feet away.

  “Was there anyone else on the scene when you arrived?” Weston asked, and I turned my attention to him.

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “Just Cara in the car. When I tried to look for a driver, she regained consciousness and I stayed with her. Did you find the driver?”

  “No. We searched the area and found some blood, but didn’t find anyone else,” Sanders said while taking notes. “Any idea who might’ve been driving?”

  I tried to think. There was no way Dom would’ve left the scene of an accident, especially not with Cara hurt. “I don’t know. I didn’t talk to her…well, she didn’t respond when I did. I suspect it was the boyfriend, Shawn Mathis. I reported suspected assault charges on him a while ago.”

  “Mathis was questioned,” Weston said, and my attention turned to him. How had I not known this? Probably because I was too close to this case and they knew it.

  “Why didn’t anyone warn the victim?” I asked, feeling my jaw clench.

  “We did. We tried to talk to her, but she denied any wrongdoing from him. Though, she was antsy at the time, which gave her away,” Sanders said.

  “It could’ve been him. I’ll try to get Cara to confirm when I see her,” I said through my teeth. That same wave of guilt I felt for letting Cara leave with him the very first night hit me again. Now she’d been hurt even worse, possibly because I reported it.

  “Let us know if you hear anything, yeah?” Weston asked, and I nodded before heading back into the room.

  Evie didn’t even pause her pacing when I returned. I needed to comfort her, with everything in me, so I stepped in front of her and took a moment to wrap my arms around her shoulders. She didn’t fight it. Instead, she leaned into me, giving me some of her weight. I only wished it was actually enough to help her.

  Almost an hour passed before the doctor finally came in. Evie had resumed her seat by this point and she jumped up to rush him. I made my way to stand behind her, my hand on her back as I prepared myself for whatever he said. “You’re here for Caroline Walker?”

  “Yes. She’s my sister. Is she…?” She couldn’t finish the question. The doctor glanced at the others in the room.

  “Let’s find somewhere else to talk,” he said, opening the door. Evie didn’t move and I gave her a slight push with my hand. She was scared; I understood that. I was, too.

  He took us into a nearby conference room and Evie stopped right inside the door. “Please, just tell me.”

  “Your sister is stable.” Evie let out a breath and sagged a little. I moved my hands to her hips and let her lean into me. “She broke multiple bones, including her right leg and several ribs. One of the ribs punctured her lung and we were able to repair that. She had a severe laceration on her right upper arm and lost a lot of blood. She’ll be in ICU shortly, so you can go up and see her when we’re done.” His eyes shifted to me and back to Evie. “There were other injuries that concerned us, though. We wanted to ask you if Caroline had been in a fight with someone before the accident.”

  Evie straightened. “What?”

  “She has some contusions on her neck and defensive injuries to her hands. Who was driving the vehicle?” the doctor asked.

  “We don’t know. By the time I arrived at the scene, the driver had fled,” I answered, feeling Evie’s glare on my face. I hadn’t told her Cara wasn’t driving, partly because she didn’t ask, but mostly because I wasn’t sure she could handle more while she was waiting to hear word.

  “Well, whoever the driver was, I think she was trying to get away,” the doctor replied, and I nodded. That fit in perfectly with what I noticed at the scene. “She should recover fine, but we’ll be keeping her a few days to make sure there’s no bleeding or complications.”

  Evie nodded and thanked the doctor before he left the room. She spun to face me. “She wasn’t driving?”

  “No,” I answered. “The driver’s door was open when I arrived, but I was more concerned with Cara. They never found anyone else.”

  “You know who it was,” she snapped. I should’ve been glad the worry lines were gone, but now they were replaced with her scowl
.

  “No, I have suspicions, but I have no proof. I will get it, though. That’s my job. I promise you, whoever it was, I will find them,” I said, meaning every word.

  “I can’t believe this is happening. And I can’t believe you would keep something like that from me,” she said, not ready to let go of her anger yet.

  I couldn’t win with her. I gave her space when everything in me revolted at the idea. I went straight to her, brought her to Charleston, stayed with her and supported her, and I still got shit on when it was all said and done.

  I started to open my mouth, but my phone rang and Dom’s name appeared on the screen. I looked up, meeting Evie’s eyes and hating the look in them. That disdain was more than I could take right now. I was about to have another unpleasant conversation and here she was, finding my faults yet again. Perfect. I shook my head as I started toward the door. “You’re welcome, Ev,” I said over my shoulder, unable to help myself.

  “What does that mean?” she asked, her confusion still laced with attitude.

  “It means…” I looked back at her, realizing my mistake the second I met her gaze. I was going to tell her the truth about what I was feeling and now wasn’t the time for it. But I did it anyway. “It means that it might be nice if you showed you gave a shit about this just once.”

  She just stared at me, her eyes uncertain, and I sighed, hitting the screen to answer my phone as I headed into the hall.

  I was not prepared for emotions today. That was just the honest to God truth. I wasn’t ready to deal with the fear of my sister being seriously injured or the anger at being coddled by Gavin. I also wasn’t ready to need him the way I did. But it was undeniable. The hours he spent with me today…I’m not sure how I would’ve held it together if it weren’t for his strength.