“I haven’t talked to him today. He’ll call tonight.”
“Are you going to tell him?”
“I guess,” she said, but she hadn’t honestly thought about that yet.
“He said he might call me today. Is it okay if I tell him?”
“Sure, if you want.”
“I’m looking forward to it, Grace. Really. A lot.”
“I am too,” she said. “You surprised me last night, but--” Abbie was making a face at her, and she laughed.
“But what?”
“But I’m looking forward to it. Really.”
“What are you doing tonight?”
“Nothing.”
“Would you like to change that?”
“You have youth group tonight.”
“I know, but it’s going to be a tough one. Could you meet me here afterwards? We get done around eight-fifteen.”
“Sure,” she said. “I can do that.”
“We’ll do something fun like go out for ice cream. I need something fun to look forward to.”
“I’m not that fun.”
“I’ll be the judge of that, Gracie Morgan. And you have to be more fun than helping eighty-five teenagers cope with grief.”
“I hope so. Would you like me to come sooner? Do you have a lot of help tonight?”
“Just the usual,” he said. “And I’m not sure any of them are too experienced with this kind of thing.”
“I’ll be there,” she said.
***
Andrew knew he could sit by the lake with Sarah forever. He was amazed by how much she had opened up to him today, but at the same time he wasn’t. The more he talked to her, the more he realized how alone she had felt these last three months. She had friends. Her church had been very supportive. And she had her kids close by. But none of them had been what she most needed: someone she could be completely honest with who would just listen, someone who understood what she was going through, and someone who could assure her there was life after death. Not just for Levi, she knew that. But for her--here and now.
“Would you like to go for a walk?” he asked. “That path goes all the way around the lake.”
“Sure. I’d love to,” she said.
They walked down the gentle bank and had gone about ten paces beside the water when he reached for her hand. It was the first time he had made such a gesture, and she didn’t resist his touch.
“Is this all right?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said.
He wasn’t sure where he wanted this to go from here. He didn’t know what he was going to say when he took her to the airport tomorrow and had to say good-bye. He wasn’t flying back to California until Saturday, but the conference was over at one o’clock. She had a three-thirty flight back to Minneapolis and a women’s event at her church she was in charge of on Saturday morning, so he couldn’t ask her to stay an extra day. He was surprised when she was the one to bring it up.
“What’s going to happen tomorrow?”
“What do you mean?”
“Am I ever going to see you again?”
“I’d like to.”
“When?”
“I don’t know yet.”
She didn’t look pleased with that answer. The fear in her eyes had fled last night, and he hadn’t seen it at all today. Not until now.
“It’s too soon, Sarah.”
“Too soon for what?”
He smiled. “For me to ask you to marry me and come live with me in California.”
She appeared hurt by his words. “Andrew, I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
She let go of his hand and kept walking like she was furious with him. He almost laughed but knew he better not. Taking a few long strides, he caught up with her easily, but her anger turned to full-on tears, and her words let him know what she was thinking.
“What am I doing, Andrew? I shouldn’t be doing this. What’s wrong with me?”
“Hey, wait a minute,” he said, pulling her into his arms and bringing them both to a stop. “Back the turnip truck up.”
She spouted a cross between a laugh and a cry and didn’t resist him. “The turnip truck? Now I know I’m in Iowa.”
He laughed. Even when she was sad, she brought him joy.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Sarah. You’re grieving. You were married to Levi for twenty-five years. You spent half your lifetime with him, and now he’s gone. You’re mourning him. It’s normal.”
She was silent for a moment and then whispered, “So why am I having all these feelings for you? He’s gone for three months, and I’m falling in love with someone else? How is that mourning him? You just said yourself it’s too soon.”
“No, no, no,” he said, holding her close and rubbing her back. “It’s too soon for you to uproot yourself from your family and your church and the life you’ve been living for the past seven years in Minneapolis to come be with me. It’s not too soon for you to be moving on with your life and letting someone else into your heart. You’re not doing anything wrong, Sarah. God brought me here this week to meet you. I’m fully convinced of that. But there’s more to your life than me.”
“But I can’t live that life without Levi. I’ve tried, and I can’t.”
He released her and stepped back to look into her eyes. He understood what she was saying, but he believed she had more strength than she thought. “Yes, you can. You’re not alone, Sarah. Jesus is there. I know because He’s carried me the last five years. And He’ll do the same for you. You have to learn to trust Him. You can enjoy Him through this. I promise.”
She gave him a little smile. “You have to send me those CDs.”
“I’ll do better than that. I’ll send you the DVDs. Then you can see my handsome face too.”
She smiled fully and asked him something that made him feel like they were eighteen. “Will you call me?”
“Every day. And I will come see you. I’m not sure when yet, or how soon, but I will.”
“Do you think it’s all right if I don’t tell anyone yet?”
“That you have a boyfriend who lives in California?”
“That might ruffle a few feathers at my church. Sometimes I think they miss Levi more than I do. Not that I don’t miss him. I miss him so much, but you know what I mean.”
“I know, Sarah,” he said, lifting her fingers to his lips and kissing them gently. “That’s for you to decide. And it’s your life, Sarah. Your heart. Your walk with God. Not anyone else’s. You do what’s right for you.”
She thought for a moment and then told him something. “It’s a miracle I’m here this week. Linda talked me into coming, or at least that’s what I thought. But it was really God, and I don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Do something just because God tells me to. It’s always been about what I thought Levi wanted me to do, or what others wanted. I didn’t ask for God’s input most of the time.”
“But He didn’t wait for you to ask?”
“No, I did. I didn’t think much of it, but the day Linda was going to be calling me to ask if I was going, I sat down at the computer and said, ‘Okay, God. Do you want me to go?’ And He said ‘yes’, so I made my plane reservations and everything before Linda called me back, and it was like I just started clicking on anything that sounded good. That’s how I ended up in that outrageous hotel on the other side of town and needed you to give me a ride on the first night. I wasn’t even thinking about it, but God got me to where I needed to be.”
“Don’t stop listening to that Voice, Sarah. It got you to me, and I guarantee you God has other places He wants to lead you. Good places. Take Him at His word. He will never let you down.”
***
Annika smiled as she listened to Levi share about his Joy-Sighting this afternoon. They had been scheduled to meet for dinner at one of the beautiful restaurants on Main Street overlooking the River, and he asked if she had seen Andrew and Sarah walking by the lake t
oo, but she hadn’t.
Apparently Joshua wanted Levi to see it and then tell her. She didn’t always know why Joshua chose to do things as He did, and she would have liked to see it herself, but as Levi talked, she knew he needed to share this with her.
“I haven’t seen her smile like that in a long time,” he said. “Not since I’ve been here, and not for a few years.”
“Why is that?”
“The church we’ve been at. It was hard, for both of us. But I think much harder on her than I realized.”
Annika didn’t want to make it sound like Andrew would take care of Sarah in a better way than Levi had, even though she knew it was likely true, so she remained silent and waited for him to share more.
“It’s strange how I always tried to make it not about us, just everyone else, and then I get here and Joshua’s telling me, ‘You can’t do anything here until you let Me make it about you, Levi.’ He hasn’t given me a single assignment yet. I just putter around all day trying to figure out why I’m here and what I’m supposed to be doing, and half the time I don’t even think about Joshua being right there beside me. I totally forgot He was there as I watched Andrew bring such sweet smiles to Sarah’s face, until He reached out His hand and wiped away my tears.”
Annika glanced at Joshua sitting quietly at the table with them, and she winked. “Yeah, it took me awhile to get used to that too. We don’t see Him unless we remember He’s there.”
Chapter Ten
Grace decided the first person she would tell about her plans to go out with James, besides Abbie, would be Tabitha. Since James was Tabby’s youth pastor, she wanted to make sure her little sister was okay with it. And when Tabitha arrived home after cheerleading practice, Grace knew it was the best time because they would be leaving for youth group in less than two hours.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” she said, stepping into her sister’s room where she had already pulled out her homework.
“Sure. Something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong. Something happened last night and today I want you to know, and I want you to be honest with me about how you feel, okay?”
“Okay,” she said.
“James asked me out. For this Saturday.”
“Pastor James?”
“Yes. Does that freak you out?”
Tabby smiled. “No, I think it’s great!”
“You do?”
“Yes!” she said, springing out of her chair to give her a hug.
She laughed. “Why?”
“Why? He’s great. You’re great. Why not?”
Grace didn’t have an answer for that.
“Where are you going?”
“To the movies, and I’m going to be seeing him tonight and on Friday too.”
“Are you coming to youth group?”
“Yes. He said he could use some extra help, and we’ll probably go somewhere afterwards. This kind of thing is pretty stressful for him. That’s why Daddy wanted me to go last night.”
“Yeah, he didn’t look good. What did you end up doing?”
“Coming back here to talk and watch a movie.”
“Did he kiss you?”
Grace laughed. “No, he didn’t ask me out until he was leaving.”
“And what are you doing on Friday?”
“Going to a concert. The one I told you Abbie was trying to talk me into going to. She actually tried to set me up with another guy, but that fell through, so I called James today to see if he wanted to go.”
“You asked him out? Way to go, Gracie.”
Grace appreciated her sister’s support and optimism, but she felt cautious.
“Please don’t tell anyone yet, okay? I don’t want to be the source of the latest gossip at youth group, especially if it doesn’t work out.”
“It will work out, Grace. I know it! Have you told Dad?”
“I haven’t talked to him yet. He should be calling any time now.”
“Let me know when he does. I need to get started on my homework.”
“Okay.”
She left the room and tried to think of something simple to make for dinner. She had gotten as much work done at school as possible before she left, but she still had a couple of things to do, so she decided it would be best to order pizza.
Her phone rang at five-fifteen, and she expected it to be her dad, but it wasn’t. She smiled and wondered why James would be calling her now.
“Didn’t I already talk to you today?” she asked.
“You did, and you asked me out.”
“So why are you calling? Change your mind?”
“Oh no. Definitely not.”
“Tough afternoon?”
“Yes,” he said. “Hunter’s dad kind of unloaded on me and Pastor Alan.”
“What did he say?”
“Oh, the usual people say when they don’t know God and lose people close to them. ‘How can God be good and take my wife and son from me?’ Sierra has found peace through the tragedy of losing her mom, but her dad is still grieving, so this is another huge blow for him. He doesn’t want us to do the funeral. He basically kicked us out and told us to never come back.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “That must have been awful.”
“Not my best day.”
“How’s Sierra?”
“As good as can be expected. I’m not sure if she’s going to be there tonight, but I wanted you to know if you have a chance to talk to her.”
“Do you think her dad would be open to me and Tabitha going over there tomorrow if she doesn’t come tonight?”
“Probably. He was fine with Tabitha being there last night. He just doesn’t want any pastors around his house right now.”
“Yeah, those pastors. They can be real troublemakers sometimes. Never date a pastor. That’s what my dad always says.”
“He didn’t sound too concerned when I told him about our plans this weekend.”
“You talked to him?”
“I did.”
She laughed. “I guess I can’t back out now.”
“You could, but I hope you don’t.”
“I’m praying for you,” she said, truly meaning that.
“Thank you, Grace.”
***
“You go ahead,” Andrew said after finding a parking space at the church. “I’ll call my daughters and then come find you.”
“Okay,” Sarah said. “Thanks for a great day.”
Andrew smiled and leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek. “It’s not over yet. I still have to drive you back to the hotel later and take you out for coffee if you’re up for it.”
Sarah liked being with Andrew, but she got a special feeling in her heart whenever he touched her. “I think I will be,” she said.
Getting out of the car, she walked toward the front entrance. They had just finished having dinner at the hotel restaurant and were coming to attend the evening meeting--the final one of the conference. She couldn’t believe it was almost Thursday.
She wanted to go in alone because she wasn’t ready for people to be seeing them together. Linda and George knew. She had told Linda this morning when she called to let her know she wouldn’t be around today. She didn’t want to cause unnecessary concern. She didn’t think Linda would share her secret with anyone, but she felt a little worried if Linda had told even one other person, everyone could know by now. She was fully expecting some of them to ask about where she’d been all day, unless they already knew.
Entering the front lobby, she saw people mingling around during the break between dinner and the meeting. She began walking toward the auditorium but was stopped by someone she knew. Gloria Sherman--Richard Sherman’s very proper and saccharin-coated wife. If word had gotten around, Gloria was sure to know all about Levi Whitfield’s wife’s improper rendezvous with another man. Scandalous for sure, in her opinion.
“Hello, Gloria,” she said. “How are you?”
“I’m doing very well, dear. And how a
re you? I heard you were here this week, but I’ve barely seen you.”
“I’ve been here off and on,” she said. “It’s good to see everyone, but not quite the same without Levi.”
“I’m sure,” she said. “We couldn’t believe it when we heard the news. He was just a youngn’ compared to Richard and I.”
“I know,” she said. “I guess God needs him up there now.”
“Well, he was a fine man and a wonderful teacher. He will be missed.”
“Thank you,” she said.
Gloria stepped away with a sweet nod, and Sarah didn’t think she could be aware of anything out of the ordinary. Turning back to head toward the auditorium, she didn’t get far before she was stopped again.
“You’re back,” Linda said softly, giving her a smile and a hug.
Sarah held her in return and felt grateful for her trusted friend. She could tell by Linda’s tone and how she had responded to her this morning that Linda didn’t disapprove.
“I’m back,” she said. “No police escort needed today.”
“Where is he?” she whispered.
“Talking to his daughters. He’ll be here in a few minutes.”
Some others were walking by, so their conversation ceased as another woman saw her and said something similar to what Gloria had said, only a little more specific. “We missed you at dinner,” Patsy Wheeler said. “You were seated at our table.”
“Oh, was I? I’m sorry I had to miss it. I was having dinner with a friend here in the city.”
“How are you, Sarah? Are you doing okay? I pray for you all the time.”
“Thank you, Patsy,” she said, giving her a hug. Patsy was much more genuine and down-to-earth than Gloria. “I’m all right. Jesus is taking good care of me.”
“I know what you mean,” she said. “I lost both of my parents this year. Not quite as difficult as I know losing Levi has been for you, but not my best season. I just don’t know how anyone makes it through anything without Jesus.”
“Me neither,” she said, recalling Andrew’s words on that subject and realizing she had been trying to do this without Him. “I’m sorry to hear about your parents. I know that was really hard on Levi when his dad died last year.”
October Joy (Moments In Paradise 1) Page 8
