“What was your favorite part of today?” he asked after they were seated and sipping their warm coffee.
She thought back over the day, and she didn’t think she could pick just one moment. It had all been pleasant, and progressively so. She felt more connected to him as the day went by, especially since he kissed her this evening, but the gradual closeness had an appeal of its own.
“I liked being at the bookstore with you,” she said for starters. “It’s been a long time since I’ve gone shopping with a man. Levi never went shopping unless it was for a major purchase like new furniture. I kept thinking, ‘I’m here with someone, and it’s a man who isn’t my husband!’ She laughed. “I know it’s been more than twenty-five years since that happened.”
He smiled but didn’t say anything, and she shared another favorite moment. “I liked riding in the car with you through the country too. Levi and I used to go for drives a lot, especially on Sunday afternoons. You really do remind me of him in a lot of ways.”
“Can you imagine him being the one doing this right now? Like if you had been married to someone else, and he was the one who lost his wife five years ago and then met you at a ministry conference?”
“I can, but I don’t think he would be moving this fast. We had been seeing each other for three months before he kissed me, and even after that he took his time. Which was good. I appreciated that about him.”
“Am I moving too fast, Sarah?”
“No. It’s a different time for me now. I’m not nearly as naive as I was back then.” At least I hope not. She took another sip of her coffee as Andrew mentioned another part of their day.
“And how did you like being at the lake with me? That’s the one part of this day I actually planned.”
She tried to think of the right word to describe their time together there. It seemed unreal. “I liked it very much,” she said. “It was perfect. I haven’t had an afternoon like that in a long time. And I don’t just mean since Levi’s been gone, but even before that.”
Pausing for a moment, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell him why, but she went ahead, knowing he would likely ask her anyway. “We were supposed to go on a two-week vacation up to Canada, all the way to Nova Scotia and back, for our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. We hadn’t gone anywhere or had some time off since last summer, and I was really looking forward to it because Levi had been so busy. It wasn’t even so much about the trip as just having some uninterrupted time with him.”
The pain was still fresh in her heart, and she wasn’t sure she could say this. Andrew must have noticed something in her facial expression because he moved his chair closer to hers at the circular table and put his hand on her back, silently urging her to continue.
“The day before we were supposed to leave, one of the older women in the church passed away. She was as old as the hills, and her death wasn’t any big shock, but the family wanted Levi to do the funeral, and so we stayed. We postponed the trip until August, the next time Levi knew he could get away, but then when August came--” She couldn’t finish her thought. He was gone.
“Oh, Sarah,” he said, leaning close and pulling her against him. She cried softly into his shoulder. It had been a few weeks since she thought of that. She hadn’t been able to have angry thoughts toward Levi so soon after his death when that circled date on the calendar came around.
“Why had it been so long since you’d had some time away?” Andrew asked.
“I don’t know when exactly, or why, but Levi became really obsessed with his work the last couple of years. Nothing was more important to him than turning the church around: not his heart and the unnecessary stress he was putting on it, not me, not even his own enjoyment of life. I tried to talk to him. Chandler tried. But he was a man with a mission, and that became his life. Even when we were here last year, he was different. I didn’t see him except for at meals. He was teaching or mentoring the rest of the time.”
Sarah began to wonder if what she and Andrew were experiencing together this week was real, or if she was lonely and mistaking Andrew’s attentiveness and affection for love. She also wondered if it could be any different with Andrew once she went home tomorrow. He hadn’t been busy here and had been free to spend the whole day with her and several hours last night. But what about when he went back to California and his life there? She could be sitting by the phone and never hearing it ring night after night.
But when Andrew gently caressed her cheek and tilted her face to kiss her lips, she didn’t feel like she could push him away.
“I’m sorry, Sarah. I’m sorry you’ve had a difficult year. I hope I can change that.”
You are, but will you stop? “Andrew, if this isn’t--If you can’t--”
“I can, Sarah. And I want to. I’m falling in love with you. This is the real deal for me. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be kissing you and acting like a love-struck college student.”
For the moment she believed him. She had to. There was something about the way Andrew said things that made her believe him without a shadow of a doubt. Just like Levi. He was different than him and yet so much the same in the ways she needed him to be, and allowing herself to be vulnerable with him felt more comfortable than trying to guard her heart.
They continued talking and sharing sweet kisses, and in a way she did feel like they were a couple of college students who didn’t need to think about tomorrow and what would happen after that. On the walk back to the hotel, she told him something she had been thinking about since he said that about this being the real deal for him. She knew it was for her too, or she wouldn’t be doing it. This wasn’t like her to be spending all of this time with anyone, let alone a single and attractive man. She needed to let it be what it was.
“I want us to stay together tomorrow, Andrew.”
“At the church?”
“Yes. I want you by my side the whole time.”
They were almost to the hotel, and he didn’t comment until they reached the doors. Taking her into his arms, he held her gently for a long time and gave her another kiss.
“In a million years I never would have imagined being with a woman like this on the last night of the conference. But now that it’s happening, I can’t imagine my life without you, Sarah. I have no idea how I’m going to say good-bye to you tomorrow.”
She wanted to tell him she would stay for a few more days, but she had the women’s luncheon on Saturday she was in charge of, so she needed to go back tomorrow.
“Are you really going to come see me sometime?” she asked, knowing how complicated that could be. Here they could be somewhat anonymous, their relationship only affecting the two of them, but being a part of each other’s real lives would be about so much more than picnic lunches and talking for hours over pie and coffee.
“I have to,” he said. “That was a condition of me kissing you, remember? I don’t go back on stuff like that. I’m a man of my word, Sarah.”
She smiled. “And you’re not regretting it now? Offering to turn your life upside-down for a few sweet kisses?”
He received her teasing words with a smile but took them seriously. Kissing her again with the same tenderness and sincerity that made her feel safe and valuable to him, he said, “I’m bargaining for more than a few kisses, Sarah. Tomorrow is not going to be good-bye. It’s going to be, ‘I’ll see you soon. Very soon.’”
***
Grace expected the teens to be emotional during youth group, and they were. But she didn’t expect to be so strongly affected by the tragedy herself. Last night she had been strong and emotionless about it, but reality and reminders of the past hit her in full force about an hour into the meeting.
James had begun the night acknowledging the tragedy, and then led the kids in worship for about forty-five minutes. Even though Hunter hadn’t been attending the group for long, everyone knew him from school, many of them since their early elementary days. Grace was in and out of the room as girls would retreat into the hallway
to cry and then return. Mostly she listened to them talk and express their feelings, but occasionally the tough questions were asked, and she answered them the best she knew how.
When James put down his guitar to talk to the kids, he shared about his brother’s accident and how he had felt during that time. Grace was amazed he shared it after barely speaking two words to her about it last night. She was proud of him, but his tears led to her own, and once she went there, it was hard to come back. She left the room while the students were sharing stories about Hunter, and she didn’t return until eight-fifteen.
Most of the kids lingered afterwards, but they didn’t have anyone who stayed past nine. Grace talked to Sierra before she left, and Tabby was planning to go to her house again tonight. Grace could see her “baby” sister was more than capable of handling this. She seemed to know the right things to do and say without any help from her, James, or the grief counselor James had asked to come tonight.
“Can I help with anything?” she offered as James was putting some things away once everyone else had gone.
“I’m done,” he said, closing up the room where all the sound equipment was kept.
They walked side-by-side to the main doors of the youth room, and he closed and locked them before they stepped toward the outside doors.
“Thanks for being here, Grace.”
“You did a great job, really. When did you decide to share about Tommy?”
“During worship. I had been resisting it all afternoon, but God won.”
She smiled. “It was good, what you said. It made me have to go sit in my dad’s office and cry for twenty minutes, but it was good.”
“I’m sorry. Are you all right?”
She nodded but it wasn’t completely gone. She could tell he knew that, but he didn’t say anything. They stepped outside and walked to his truck. He opened the door for her, and she got inside. When he got behind the steering wheel, he started the engine, but he didn’t pull out right away.
“Where would you like to go?” he asked.
“I believe you promised me ice cream.”
“I know, but where?”
She told him the nearest place she knew of, but she didn’t think about youth group kids being there until they stepped through the door.
“Why didn’t you say something?” she whispered after several of them had spotted them together.
“About what?” he asked with a smile.
“You’re in big trouble.”
“What? This is where you said you wanted to go. I just aim to please, Gracie.”
Chapter Twelve
James selected a table for two by the window after they had their ice cream treats in hand, and Grace smiled at the friendly banter being directed at them by the older high school students who obviously loved anything they could use to tease their beloved youth pastor. James was a good sport about it and seemed to enjoy the attention. And he wasn’t like that--always wanting to be the center of attention and doing anything to get a reaction from his students. He was usually low-key and more serious, but tonight he looked like an eighteen-year-old who had finally convinced the prettiest girl in school to go out with him.
James made her feel that way too. She didn’t have low self-esteem, but she didn’t have guys falling all over her either. James’ interest in her was a mystery at this point, but he was making it fun.
Once the teens shifted their attention back to one another, James caught her gaze across the table and winked.
“You’re in big trouble,” she said, trying to sound serious.
“And why is that?” he asked.
“I asked Tabby not to say anything to anyone. I didn’t think I would have to tell you.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“But you knew they would be here.”
“I knew it was a possibility.”
“And it doesn’t bother you everyone knows we’re going out?”
“There’s only about ten of them here.”
“That doesn’t matter, and you know it.”
He laughed. “Yeah, so? Why should it bother me?”
“Do you always invite your girlfriends to youth group on the first date?”
“Nope. You’re the first.”
“Why me?”
“Because you’re special, Gracie. I’ve been waiting for this for three years.”
She couldn’t think of a good comeback for that, so she let it go. It was obvious James had some high hopes for them, and she wasn’t opposed to that, but she knew the senior pastor’s daughter and the youth pastor becoming an item would be big news, and she didn’t want to have to be answering a bunch of nosy questions in a few weeks about why it hadn’t worked out between them.
Since this wasn’t an official date and she had to be at school in the morning, James didn’t keep her out late and drove her home at nine-thirty, but they sat in the truck and talked in her driveway, mainly about how youth group had gone. James seemed to value her opinion and perspective, and she felt free to share about her own loss.
“Do you think your dad will ever get remarried?” he asked.
“Maybe,” she said. “It’s kind of hard to imagine, but I don’t want him to be alone for the rest of his life.”
“Is that why you haven’t dated much?”
“No, it’s been more about Tabby. But since she’s probably going off to college next year, I hate to think of him being all alone here.”
James smiled and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. “Don’t worry, we’ll just live here too.”
She smiled, and he got out of the truck to come open her door. Getting out of the cab, she took the hand he offered her, and he didn’t let go once they were at the front door. She had always seen James as being serious. He could be crazy with the youth group at times, but the personal side of him was more subdued. But not tonight. He was like a kid in a candy store.
Since no one else was home and she needed to be in bed by ten, she knew it would be better to not invite him inside, and she didn’t. James didn’t let go of her hand when she tried to take it from him to get the keys out of her purse, however.
She looked up at him and smiled. “What are you doing?”
“Being pesky,” he said.
“Someone kept me up late last night. I need to get to bed at a decent hour, not stay up until midnight again.”
“May I have a kiss first?”
She was very shocked at his boldness and laughed. “We’re not even on our first date yet.”
“Do you have a rule about that?” he asked, pulling her closer to him. “You won’t kiss a guy until you’re on the first date.”
She smiled. “I have never kissed a guy on the first date.”
“But do you have a rule, or have you just not wanted to?”
She hadn’t thought about it before, but she answered honestly. “Just haven’t wanted to.”
He turned more serious then. “I liked having you there tonight. It felt right to me.”
“I’m glad I was there,” she said, setting her purse on the bench beside the front door. She hadn’t gotten her mother’s blonde hair like her sisters, but she had gotten her height, and she was only a couple of inches shorter than James. Allowing herself to look at him, really look at him, she said something she wanted him to know.
“I was proud of you for saying what you said about Tommy, and I won’t force you to talk about it if you don’t want to, but anytime you do, I’m here, okay?”
“Same for you,” he said. “Your dad told me you don’t like to talk about it.”
“It’s hard,” she said. “I still miss her. I feel like I grieve better privately, but I open up to the right people when I need to. Mostly just my dad, but you made me cry pretty good tonight.”
“And that’s a good thing?”
“Yes. I need a good cry once in awhile.”
“How about a good kiss? Have you had one of those lately?”
“No,” she said, deciding to close
her eyes and let him. She wanted him to, so why not?
His first attempt was brief. “How was that?” he whispered.
She laughed but kept her eyes closed. “If you can’t do any better than that, our first date is off.”
He tried again, and this time he gave it his best shot. His lips were tender and soft, but when he reached up and touched her face, there was a longing in his affection like he’d been holding back for years, and she felt okay about letting it happen now.
“Did you know,” he said, slipping both hands around her waist, “that every time I see you, Gracie Morgan, my heart leaps with joy?”
“No,” she said.
“Last night when I was sitting there with Hunter’s dad, knowing I wasn’t welcome but I had to stay, I kept telling God, ‘This is it. I can’t do this anymore. I’m ready for a new career.’ And then you called and said you were coming and I said, ‘Okay, Jesus. If I can have Gracie, I’ll do this as long as You want me to.’”
“So, if I break up with you, you’re going to quit your job?”
“Yes.”
She laughed.
He kissed her again, and she was surprised by the desires he brought alive in her. She’d never seen James as her type, but with her eyes closed and connecting with him on an intimate level, everything felt right. Perfect. What she had been content to wait for. He seemed reluctant to stop, but he didn’t get carried away either.
“May I see you tomorrow?” he asked.
“Would you like to have dinner with me and Tabby?”
“Here?”
“Yes.”
“What time?”
“Five-thirty.”
“I’ll be here.”
“Okay,” she said, stepping away and getting her keys out of her purse. By the time she had the door unlocked and was ready to step inside, James had encircled her waist from behind, and she leaned against him.
“Sleep well, Gracie. Only you could have turned this into a good day.”
“And only you, James Ashton, could kiss me like that before our first date and get away with it.”
October Joy (Moments In Paradise 1) Page 10
