Same Old Truths (The Reluctant Avenger)

by Delora Dennis

  “See,” Kay said, stabbing the air in front of Dave with her fork. “Right there. That’s part of the problem. You’ve allowed Sandy to classify the girls as my family and not yours. Maybe if you claimed them these money issues wouldn’t be such a big deal. I mean, I’m sure you don’t have to cut deals with Sandy every time she needs something for Little Dave.”

  “Yeah, but you…”

  “But me, nothing. This has been your trip from the beginning. The girls and I were never consulted. We just got caught under your wheels, dragging us along as you made your hasty get-away. Now, I can understand you cutting me loose, but I’m not going to let you do it to the girls.”

  Inside, Kay was quite riled up; outside, she was the picture of calm.

  Dave shook his head. “Ever the drama queen.”

  Kay leaned forward, looked directly into his eyes. “I callz ‘em as I seez ‘em.”

  She wasn’t trying to be funny, but Dave laughed. I think he’s starting to show cracks around the edges.

  Kay had fired the first shot across the bow and was satisfied she’d set the tone for the rest of the conversation. Not surprisingly, Dave responded by calling a time out. “I’m going for a warm-up. How ‘bout you?”

  “Nah. I’m good.”

  Kay sat gazing out one of the coffee shop’s big picture windows taking in the intoxicating beauty of the late-April morning. Passersby’s steps seemed to be buoyed along by the lightness of the soft, warming season. A young couple kissing as they waited for a green light at the cross walk had captured her attention. She was lost in the sweetness of the moment when a loud tap on the window woke her out of her reverie. She turned to see Ed, looking smokin’ hot in his tennis whites, grinning at her from the other side of the glass. He was saying something to her, but Kay pointed to her ear and shook her head. Ed gestured toward the entrance and headed in that direction.

  He’s coming in. Oh no. I’m going to have to introduce him to Dave.

  “Well, fancy meeting you here,” Ed said as he briskly strode over to her table. “I didn’t know you were a Percolatter,” pronouncing it like the coffee brewing appliance.

  “Yeah. I probably seem like more of a slow dripper,” Kay said.

  “Huh? Oh right. Cute,” Ed said. He helped himself to Dave’s chair before Kay had a chance to extend a courteous invitation. “You look too pretty to be sitting here by yourself,” Ed said, smiling as he took in Kay’s vision of loveliness.

  Kay wasn’t used to being the recipient of Ed’s legendary charm. His compliment made her blush and giggle, as if the rest of her buttons had suddenly popped open.

  Two seconds later Dave was back glowering at the handsome stranger occupying his chair and making his ex-wife laugh.

  Oh, please, oh please. Don’t let Dave embarrass me.

  Ed jumped up. “Oh. Excuse me. Is this your seat?”

  With some awkward back-stepping and criss-crossing, the two men switched positions. Dave reclaimed his seat with an air of self-importance, like he had rightly ousted a pretender to his throne.

  “Ed, this is Cory and Mariah’s dad, Dave Noland,” Kay said, unable to introduce Dave with the words “ex-husband.”

  Ed’s eyes flew open wide and was first to extend his hand. “Ed Salinger. Good to meet you.”

  Begrudgingly, Dave took Ed’s hand, gave it a cursory single pump. “Oh. Right. We spoke on the phone the other day. Somehow I pictured you much older.”

  Ed let out a good-natured laugh. “Yeah. I get that a lot. I’m the junior.”

  “Sorry?” Dave said, clearly oblivious to the meaning behind Ed’s explanation.

  “Oh, nothing. I better let you two get back to your coffee. I’m gonna be late for my set. See you Monday, Kay. Nice meeting you, Don.”

  “Dave,” Dave corrected. But Ed didn’t hear him. In typical Ed fashion, he hurried to the counter to get his coffee, shaking his head and muttering to himself.

  Kay wanted to laugh at Ed’s deliberate insult. He had a stellar reputation for never forgetting a name or a face so she couldn’t understand why he felt the need to dis Dave. It was out of character for the man who was a stickler for holding to the principals of the Dale Carnegie How To Win Friends and Influence People program, of which he was a proud graduate. Nevertheless, she was disappointed to see him go.

  “What a jerk,” Dave sneered. “You know he’s got a thing for you, don’t you?”

  Little sparkles of delight tickled Kay’s insides at Dave’s cynical observation. But she quickly dismissed the idea when she remembered Dave’s history during their marriage of accusing any male crossing her path as “having a thing for her,” and referring to them as either a “jerk,” “joker” or “clown.” As tempting as it was, she knew better than to entertain feelings for her boss. She let out a derisive snort.

  “No really. Trust me. It’s a guy thing.”

  “Whatever,” Kay said, sounding just like Cory. “Are we ready to get down to business?”

  With a look of hope and dread on his face, Dave nodded.

  Kay inhaled deeply. “So here’s the deal. I’m going to do the talking and I want you to sit there and listen without interrupting. It’s important I get through this because I may never get the chance again. Agreed?”

  “Agreed,” Dave said.

  Dave shifted uncomfortably in his seat waiting for Kay to begin. The cold, hard stare she was giving him seemed to last an eternity.

  “First of all, I want to say that in light of all your previous failed arrangements with me - marital, parental, financial and otherwise, I think you have a lot of balls asking me for, yet, another pass for your unacceptable behavior.”

  Kay could tell he was fighting an impulse to look away, but somehow, managed to hold her unrelenting gaze.

  “You have proved to be cruel,dishonest,unreliable and untrustworthy. Not exactly the most desirable traits to bring to the table when making the type of proposal you’ve presented me with.”

  “I know you thought I was stupid and gullible last September when I jumped at your original offer without giving it the due diligence it demanded. But I did it for a reason, Dave. After seven years I thought we had an opportunity to build a new relationship based on our old friendship.” Then her voice got quiet. “You see, even though I’d accepted the end of our marriage, I just couldn’t wrap my brain around never being friends again - that the only role you’d play in my life would be adversarial. Up until the time you met Sandy, we were pretty good friends, don’t you think?”

  Dave looked blankly at Kay. She felt slighted by his non-response, but pushed on.

  “Knowing me like you do, I believe you took advantage of my unresolved feelings.”

  Dave started to object, but Kay put up her hand.

  “Come on now, Dave. Give me credit for knowing you like I do.”

  “It’s taken me awhile, but I’ve finally realized my hope for any new alliance with you just isn’t going to happen. Sandy will never allow it and, let’s face it, you’re just not that into it either.

  Kay had been resisting these thoughts for some time, and giving voice to them only underscored their difficult truth.

  “You asked me to think about it and I did. In fact, it was all I could do. For days, now, I’ve wracked my brain and searched my soul and the only conclusion I could come to was I’ve earned the right to be selfish.“

  Dave crossed his arms across his chest and finally took his chance to look away. Kay waited for a moment said, “Dave? Dave, are you listening?”

  He looked back at her like a sullen teenager, and quietly said, “yes,” then looked away again.

  “As I said, I decided it’s my turn to be selfish - but probably not in the way you’re thinking.”

  That got his attention.

  “I’ve decided it’s time for me to take matters into my own hands.”

  Dave slowly sat up in his chair as he watched Kay feel around under the table for her purse. A look of terror passed over his face w
hen he realized she’d found what she was looking for and began to slowly pull it out.

  “Kay, please don’t do this,” he pleaded. “I think we can resolve our issues without resorting to violence.”

  He ducked when her arm flew out from under the table. A white, letter-sized envelope sat in the pinch of her thumb and index finger.

  Dave looked as if he was going to have to excuse himself to go home and change his underwear.

  Kay roared with laughter. “Violence? Oh my god. Did you think I was going to shoot you?”

  Dave managed a wimpy shrug and a sickly smile.

  “Either your conscience is really hurting, or you see me as one crazy bitch.” The laughter continued.

  For the next few moments Kay enjoyed a good laugh at Dave’s expense, until he’d had enough. “Alright, Kay. You’ve had your fun. Like you said, let’s get down to business.” He reached for the envelope that had dropped on the table, but Kay slapped it down before he had a chance to pick it up.

  “Hang on a minute,” she said. “Before I show you the counter-proposal I’ve drawn up, it’s important for me to explain my whys and wherefores.”

  This time Dave couldn’t control himself. He rolled his eyes.

  Kay snatched the envelope from the table and got up from her chair. “Ok. I can see we’ve wasted each other’s time. If you can’t keep your agreement to hear me out, why should I believe you’d stick to any new arrangement? Maybe it’ll be better, all the way around, to just abide by the judge’s ruling.”

  “Wait, Kay. Please,” Dave said with alarm. “It was just a reflex. I shouldn’t have done that. Please sit down. I really do want to hear what you have to say.”

  Kay’s heart was pounding and tears were stinging the corners of her eyes. She hated his ability to cut her to shreds with the smallest of gestures. But today, for some strange reason, she was able to hold on to her composure. Maybe it was because she was bolstered by her rare position of power.

  Even though every bone in her body was screaming at her to walk right out of that coffee shop, she just couldn’t resist playing out the rest of her hand. For dramatic effect, she hesitated a moment or two, then slowly sat back down. She picked up her coffee cup, peered inside and said, “I need some more coffee.”

  Dave jumped up. “Sure. No problem. Let me get it for you.” He took the cup from her hand and rushed to the refill station. Kay smiled to herself, letting the thrill of her new-found authority deliciously cascade over her.

  Setting a record for all-time fastest coffee refills, Dave returned to the table and carefully placed the cup in front of Kay. He took his seat with a look on his face that reminded Kay of a cocker spaniel waiting to be petted and praised after returning a tossed stick. Unfortunately for him, a polite, “thanks,” was his only reward.

  All it took was a quick sip for Kay to realize she was coffeed-out. She banished the cup to the far side of the table without regard for her eager server’s feelings. If Dave took any offense, it was undetectable.

  “So…you were getting ready to tell me about your selfish proposal,” an anxious Dave prompted, then quickly corrected, “I mean, about how and why you came up with a counter proposal.”

  Kay found his reddening cheeks quite gratifying.

  “Yes…well,” she began, clasping her hands together and placing them on the table. “As I said, I decided it was my turn to be selfish. But the more I thought about it the more I realized it wasn’t as straightforward as all that. It’s true a selfish “no” would get me a pile of cash and some delicious, vengeful satisfaction. Not to mention I’d avoid looking like a first-class chump in front of my family and friends who want to see me stick it to you.”

  As quickly, but casually as he could, Dave put his hand over his mouth and nose to stifle a derisive snort.

  Good boy.

  “But then I realized saying “yes” would also be selfish. I’d get a big fat ego stroke by swooping in to play the hero to my poor, floundering ex-husband - not to mention an even bigger pile of cash after five years.”

  Dave continued to sit and listen, while doing his best to control his reactions.

  “But the more I thought about it, the more I realized both selfish choices leave a lot to be desired. They just aren’t selfish enough, if you know what I mean.”

  Dave sat back. “No, Kay, I don’t know what you mean. In fact, I’m completely lost.”

  “Well, the thing is, I’m still a single parent with two girls who require a lot of time and attention. The help I asked you for back in September hasn’t gone away.” Kay let out a little chuckle and said, “You probably don’t realize it but I got spoiled by how well our original agreement worked in the beginning. It really made my life so much easier.” Then she sighed and said, “If only you’d stuck to it, we wouldn’t have had to go through all this crap and we wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”

  Now it was Dave’s turn to sigh. “Kay, I wish you could appreciate my situation. I have demands pulling me from twenty different directions.”

  Kay just shook her head. “How the hell do you expect me to appreciate your situation when all I get are lies and half-truths? Look, I did my best to work with you until you went and shit on everything. It’s not my fault you have a habit of ruining the good things in your life.”

  It wasn’t Kay’s intention to go down the road of, once again, defending their marriage. She knew she had to keep things on track; she picked up the envelope, opened the flap and pulled out a one page, double-spaced, type-written form. “I’ve drawn up a counter-proposal, that I believe, not only meets my parental assistance needs, but satisfies my selfish desires, as well.”

  She handed the paper to Dave, who snatched it out of her hand.

  “I realize I’m taking a big a chance by not having it drawn up by my attorney and I’m sure your lawyer wouldn’t be too keen on having you sign this without his review and approval. I just couldn’t see adding anymore to our already-bloated legal bills.

  Kay stayed quiet and allowed Dave to read all the stipulations she’d laid out in exchange for her acceptance of the deferral of his outstanding back child support.

  THIS AGREEMENT (the “Agreement”) is entered into effective as of ____________ _____, 20__ by and between Dave Noland (“Party#1”) and Kay Manning (“Party#2”).

  In consideration of the mutual covenants set forth herein and other good and valuable consideration, the parties agree as follows:

  I. {Fees, Payments, etc.}. Party#1 agrees to pay Party#2 Ten thousand dollars ($10,000) at twelve percent (12%) interest deferred over five (5) years.

  “TWEL…” Dave started to shout, but looked around the room and quickly got control of himself. “Twelve percent?” he said, slightly choking on the words.

  Kay knew her demand for more interest was going to piss him off, but she knew she had nothing to lose. If he wanted her cooperation it was going to cost him.

  Dave’s eyes went cold. “Looks like your friends and family are going to get their wish. You just love sticking it to me, don’t you?”

  “No. What I’m loving is finally standing up to you and not being the push over you were counting on. If you choose to see it as me “sticking it” to you, I guess there’s nothing I can do about that. Please continue.”

  The rest of the agreement was basically a written statement of their original agreement with a few new stipulations:

  II. {Other terms/conditions}. 1. Party #1 agrees to pay one half of Cory’s tuition for her school’s Summer Honors program.

  Kay knew she should have asked for the whole amount, but her over-developed sense of fairness overruled her.

  2. The reduction in child support during the summer visitation will be reduced by 1/3 instead of the court ordered 2/3, since Cory is not participating.

  3. Party #1 agrees to make arrangements to have Cory picked up from summer school and driven home.

  5. Party #2 reserves the right to ask for Party #1’s financial assistance with
any unexpected expenditures relating to the children.

  6. The parties agree to meet on a quarterly basis to review the agreement and make changes as needed.

  7. Any egregious breach of the agreed stipulations by Party #1 will render this agreement null and void and the original court order will be reinstated.

  “Well?” Kay asked, beginning to get a little anxious.

  “Why didn’t you ask for this stuff when we were in mediation?” Dave said.

  He’s got a point there.

  “I don’t know,” Kay said with a shrug. “I guess it was because I was so upset over what the girls told the mediator.”

  Invoking the girls’ interview was a convenient dodge - and a low blow. The truth was Kay hadn’t even formulated the requests until after Dave had asked for the deferment.

  With his resolve to be good wearing off, Dave looked back at the paper in his hand. “Well, it’s obvious you never went to law school…Applicable Law; Construction…Counterparts…Parties Bound…Mutual Understanding…Force Majeure,” Dave read under his breath. “Where did you come up with this cheesy form?”

  He was trying to embarrass her, but it wasn’t working. “It’s a template I downloaded from the internet,” she said matter-of-factly, “and it suits the purpose just fine.”

  Dave continued to look at the paper as if he was giving it serious consideration; Kay knew he was stalling. Since there wasn’t anything he could reasonably object to, he tried the only delay tactic left to him. Patting his chest with both hands he said, “I don’t have a pen.”

  “Not necessary, “ Kay said. “We’re going across the street to the bank to sign it in front of a notary.”

  Kay returned the form to the envelope, gathered her purse and with a clear sense of purpose, set out to lead a two-person parade toward the exit of the coffee shop.

  “Hold up, Kay” Dave said, looking at his watch. “I didn’t realize it was so late. I promised Sandy I’d watch Little Dave while she ran some errands. Look. Why don’t I meet you at the bank first thing Monday morning?”

  Kay cocked her head, ever so slightly, to one side and smiled. Gotta run it past Mommy first?