Looking down he sees something…
Bending down, he examines Fräulein von Hammersmark’s two pretty dress shoes lying on the floor.
One shoe is covered in blood.
The other, while blood-speckled, is fairly clean.
Picking up the clean shoe and holding it in his hand.
COL. LANDA
It would appear somebody’s missing. Somebody fashionable.
AN OFFSCREEN SOLDIER’S VOICE cries out:
SOLDIERS VOICE (OS)
Colonel, this one’s still alive!
We follow Hans to the spot on the floor where Sgt. Willi lies. He’s shot in the chest, but it looks like Max’s daddy is still alive.
INT—EXAMINING ROOM—NIGHT
Bridget on the examining table, post morphine shot.
The other Basterds in the room watch Aldo interrogate the German lady.
LT. ALDO
Now ’fore we yank that slug outta ya, you need to answer a few questions.
BRIDGET
Few questions about what?
LT. ALDO
About I got three men dead back there, and why don’t you try tellin’ us what the fuck happened?
BRIDGET
The British officer blew his German act, and a Gestapo major saw it.
LT. ALDO
’Fore we get into who shot John, Why did you invite my men to a rendezvous in a basement with a bunch of Nazis?
BRIDGET
I can see, since you didn’t see what happened inside, the Nazis being there must look odd.
LT. ALDO
Yeah, we gotta word for that kinda odd in English. It’s called suspicious.
BRIDGET
Don’t let your imagination get the better of you, Lieutenant. You met the sergeant, Willi. He had a baby tonight. His commanding officer gave him and his friends the night off to celebrate. The Germans being there was just a tragic coincidence.
Aldo thinks for a moment…
LT. ALDO
Okay, I’ll buy that. He was either there with his men waiting for us, or he was there celebrating his son’s birthday. He wasn’t doin’ both.
LT. ALDO
How did the shootin’ start?
BRIDGET
The English man gave himself away.
LT. ALDO
How did he do that?
BRIDGET
He ordered three glasses.
She holds up three fingers, middle to pinky.
BRIDGET
He ordered three glasses.
She holds up three fingers, thumb to middle.
BRIDGET
This is the German three. The other is odd. Germans would and did notice it.
LT. ALDO
Okay, let’s pretend there were no Germans, and everything went exactly the way it was supposed to. What would of been the next step?
BRIDGET
Tuxedoes. To get them into the premiere wearing military uniforms, with all the military there, would have been suicide. But going as members of the German film industry, they wear tuxedoes and blend in with everybody else. I arranged a tailor to fit three tuxedoes tonight.
LT. ALDO
How did you intend to get them into the premiere?
BRIDGET
Hand me my purse.
They do. And she opens it and takes out three tickets to the film premiere.
BRIDGET
Lt. Hicox was going as my escort. The other two were going as a German cameraman and his assistant.
LT. ALDO
Can you still get us into that premiere?
BRIDGET
Can you speak German better than your friends? No. Have I been shot? Yes. I don’t see me tripping the light fantastic up the red carpet anytime soon. Least of all by tomorrow night.
(pause)
However, there’s something you don’t know. There’s been two recent developments regarding Operation Kino. One, the venue has been changed from The Ritz to a much smaller venue.
LT. ALDO
Enormous changes at the last minute? That’s not very Germanic. Why the hell is Goebbels doin’ stuff so damn peculiar?
BRIDGET
It probably has something to do with the second development.
LT. ALDO
Which is?
FLASH ON
IN A PRIVATE DINING ROOM IN GERMANY, the FUHRER, aka Adolf Hitler, aka Adolf Shicklegroover, aka the Bohemian Corporal, having dinner with Goebbels, only a few short days ago.
THE FUHRER
(GERMAN)
I’ve been rethinking my position in regards to your Paris premiere of “Nation’s Pride.” As the weeks have gone on and the Americans are on the beach, I do find myself thinking more and more about this Private Zoller. This boy has done something tremendous for us. And I’m beginning to think my participation in this event could be meaningful.
BACK TO BRIDGET
BRIDGET
The Führer’s attending the premiere.
Donny breaks the team’s silence:
SGT. DONOWITZ
What?
LT. ALDO
When the hell did this happen?
BRIDGET
The venue change, two weeks ago. The Führer’s attendance, four days ago.
LT. ALDO
And how come London don’t know nothing about that?
BRIDGET
We need to get something straight, once and for all. Everything London knows, it learned from me. If I don’t know, London doesn’t know. So now, this is me, informing you, Hitler’s coming to Paris.
SGT. DONOWITZ
FUCK A DUCK!
Aldo stands up from the chair, pacing as he takes in this new information.
BRIDGET
What are you thinking?
LT. ALDO
I’m thinking getting a wack at plantin’ ole Uncle Adolph makes this a horse of a different color.
BRIDGET
What’s that supposed to mean?
LT. ALDO
It means you’re gettin’ us into that premiere.
BRIDGET
I’m going to probably end up losing this leg, bye bye, acting career, fun while it lasted. How do you expect me to walk up a red carpet?
LT. ALDO
The doggie doc’s gonna dig that slug outta your gam. Then he’s gonna wrap it up in a cast, and you gotta good “how I broke my leg mountain climbing” story. That’s German, ain’t it? Y’all like climbin’ mountains, don’t cha?
BRIDGET
I don’t. I like smoking, drinking, and ordering in restaurants, but I see your point.
LT. ALDO
We fill ya up with morphine, till it’s comin out ya ears. Then just limp your little ass up that rouge car-pet.
BRIDGET
Splendid. When the Nazis put me up against a wall, it won’t hurt so much.
(changing tone)
I know this is a silly question before I ask it, but can you Americans speak any other language than English?
HIRSCHBERG
Other than Yiddish?
BRIDGET
Preferably.
Donny, referring to Aldo and himself:
SGT. DONOWITZ
We both speak a little Italian.
BRIDGET
With an atrocious accent, no doubt. But that doesn’t exactly kill us in the crib. Germans don’t have a good ear for Italian. So you mumble Italian and brazen through it, is that the plan?
LT. ALDO
That’s about it.
BRIDGET
That sounds good.
LT. ALDO
It sounds like shit, but what else we gonna do, go home?
BRIDGET
No, it’s good. If you don’t blow it with that, I can get you in the building.
(changes tone)
So, who does what?
LT. ALDO
Well, I speak the most Italian, so I’ll be your escort. Donowitz speaks the second most, so he’ll be your Italian cameraman. And Hirschberg third most, so
he’ll be Donny’s assistant.
HIRSCHBERG
I don’t speak Italian.
LT. ALDO
Like I said, third best. Just keep your fuckin’ mouth shut. In fact, why don’t you start practicing right now.
BRIDGET
(meaning Utivich)
What about the little one?
UTIVICH
Do you mean me?
BRIDGET
I didn’t mean any offense.
UTIVICH
None taken, you German cunt.
LT. ALDO
Utivich is the chauffeur.
UTIVICH
I can’t drive.
Bridget SCREAMS in frustration:
BRIDGET
You Americans are fucking useless!
UTIVICH
Gimmie a break. I’m from Manhattan.
LT. ALDO
No worries, son. We got over fourteen hours before the movie tomorrow. More than enough time for you to learn to drive.
UTIVICH
No, no, no, no, Lieutenant, it’s not!
LT. ALDO
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, Private, it is. And yes, yes, yes, you will.
(changes tone)
Look, Utivich, you and I both know, if we went to grade school together, you damn sure ain’t copyin’ off of my test. Well, I lernt to drive in four hours on a Tennessee mountain road. And I’m a shit-for-brains coal miner bootlegger. Hirschberg, you know how to drive, right?
HIRSCHBERG
Yes.
LT. ALDO
Teach ’im.
BRIDGET
But there is a problem. I’m a movie star. This is a movie premiere. I can’t show up looking like I was just in a Nazi gunfight. Now I have a dress for the premiere at my hotel. But sometime tomorrow I have to get my hair done.
All the Basterds, except Donny, burst out laughing.
LT. ALDO
Sister, you must got wunderbar luck. Guess who went to beauty school?
The CAMERA WHIP-PANS to SGT. DONOWITZ.
Bridget rolls her eyes.
BLACK FRAME
CHAPTER TITLE APPEARS:
CHAPTER FIVE
“REVENGE OF THE GIANT FACE”
FADE OFF
INT—SHOSANNA AND MARCEL’S LIVING QUARTERS—NIGHT
We’re in Shosanna and Marcel’s living quarters above the cinema. We’ve never been in here before.
A SUBTITLE APPEARS ONSCREEN:
“NIGHT OF ‘NATION’S PRIDE’ PREMIERE”
Shosanna’s standing before a full-length mirror in a real attractive forties-style dress for the premiere. She’s stunning. This is the first time in her life she’s had the opportunity or the occasion to wear something like this. Since she knows this is the last night of her life, no time like the present.
SOUNDS of the hubbub of the premiere, not to mention the German brass band that’s blaring Third Reich marches, can be heard coming from below.
Shosanna walks to her apartment window and looks down at the Germanic miasma below.
SHOSANNA’S POV
WE SEE all the pageantry below. Tons of SPECTATORS. Tons of guests dressed in Nazi uniforms, tuxedoes, and female finery, walking up the long red carpet (with a big swastika in the middle, naturally) leading into Shosanna’s cinema. The German brass band omm-pa-pa-ing away. German radio and film crews covering the event for the fatherland back home. And, of course, MANY GERMAN SOLDIERS providing security for this joyous Germanic occasion.
Shosanna COUGHS up a lugi and HOCKS it.
A GERMAN S.S. GENERAL being interviewed by a RADIO COMMENTATOR—the lugi HITS him right on his bald head.
Shosanna goes back to the full-length mirror, places a very fashionable forties-style hat on her head, then lowers the period-style black fishnet veil over her face. She takes out a small GUN and puts it in the pocket of her dress, and it’s on. She exits the apartment door to join the premiere. From this point on, there’s no turning back. It’s all the way baby, all the fucking way!
INT—CINEMA STAIRWELL—NIGHT
The stairwell in the building that connects the living quarters with the cinema. Shosanna walks down the stairs and goes through a door that puts her next to the projection booth door. She takes out a key and opens it.
INT—PROJECTION BOOTH—NIGHT
Marcel’s prepping the film reels for tonight. The five silver metal film cans that carry one 35mm reel of film each are laid out. The cans for reels one and two are empty. Cans for reel three, our specially marked can for reel four, and the can for reel five (which should never see the light of a projector) lie in wait.
Shosanna, looking like a forties movie star, enters the projection booth.
The scene in FRENCH SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:
MARCEL
Ooh la la, Danielle Darrieux, this is so exciting. Pleased to meet you.
SHOSANNA
Shut up, fool.
Marcel lifts up the veil covering her face and their lips meet.
SHOSANNA
Cheeky black bugger. I have to go down and socialize with these Hun pigs. Let’s go over it again?
MARCEL
Reel one is on the first projector. Reel two is on the second. Three and four are ready to go.
SHOSANNA
Okay, the big sniper battle in the film begins around the middle of the third reel. Our film comes on in the fourth reel, so somewhere toward the end of the third reel, go down and lock the doors of the auditorium. Then take your place behind the screen, and wait for my CUE when I give it to you: BURN IT DOWN!
INT—CINEMA LOBBY—NIGHT
The pageantry of the evening is in full swing, as all the German beautiful people enter the cinema. They mingle in the swastika-covered, Greek-nude-statue-peppered lobby. Nazi military commanders, high-ranking party officials, and German celebrities (Emil Jannings, Veit Harlan) hobnob and drink Champagne from passing WAITERS, who carry glasses on silver trays.
We see Shosanna enter from the area at the top of the big staircase in the lobby that overlooks the lobby parlor entrance. She descends the staircase and busies herself with theater stuff.
At the top of the staircase, looking down at the master race in all their finery, is Col. Hans Landa, dressed in his finest S.S. dress uniform.
CAMERA FRAME
directly behind him. On the right side, we see the figure of Col. Landa, from behind, watching the guests entering the cinema. On the left side of the frame is the cinema entrance, from a looking-down perspective of the guests entering the building.
THEN…
A THINK BUBBLE, like in a comic book, appears on the left side of the frame, obscuring the cinema entrance. Inside Landa’s think bubble a little scene plays out.
THINK BUBBLE
A hospital room filled with DOCTORS, NURSES, and a PATIENT in a hospital bed. Then Col. Landa enters the room and screams at everybody:
COL. LANDA
I want everybody out of this room!
They start to leave.
COL. LANDA
That means now, goddamnit!
They RUSH OUT.
He walks over to the patient in the hospital bed. It’s none other than SGT. WILLI, and yes, he’s still alive.
Landa pulls up a chair next to the bed and sits down.
COL. LANDA
Can you speak, Sergeant?
SGT. WILLI
(weakly)
Yes, Colonel.
COL. LANDA
Tell me everything that happened in there.
The THINK BUBBLE DISSOLVES away, revealing the entrance again, and as if on perfect cue, in walks Bridget von Hammersmark, dressed lovely, leg in a big white cast. The three Basterds in their tuxedos flank her.
CU COL. LANDA
smiles.
He descends the stairs, toward the four saboteurs…
They speak in GERMAN, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:
Inglourious Basterds Page 12
