A Very Merry Manhattan Christmas

by A Very Merry Manhattan Christmas (retail) (epub)

  “I thought he’d cheated on you or something though. Not enabled his friend to attack you.”

  “I know. And I’m sorry. I should have been honest. But it was such a mess. And with time, with all my reading, and with work, I was able to try to put it behind me. I didn’t see Jamie or any of his friends again so I put it out of my mind, apart from the odd thought that I always quickly suppressed. Until the wedding rehearsal dinner.”

  “He still needs to pay.”

  “But I think he has done. See, that’s why he wanted to talk to me. I left him there that Christmas day at the cottage. I took his car and drove to a hotel and I stayed there all over Christmas. I cried and I thought and I cried some more. And I refused to answer his calls. I emailed him and told him where to find his car then I came back to Tonbridge and rebuilt my life. In the meantime, he was destroying his own.”

  “The wheelchair?”

  She nodded. “He told me that he threw himself into drinking, drugs and adrenaline sports. He went off around the world travelling and took big risks. He was consumed with guilt. The one day, he fell while climbing. It broke his back, leaving him unable to walk. It was his way of punishing himself.” She sighed and laced her fingers through Dale’s. “Since then, he’s been involved in charity work. Sounds so clichéd right, but I don’t think he was completely bad. I wonder if anyone is, to be honest. Are we actually black and white or do we have shades? I know that I shocked myself when I fought back. Something deep inside me, some primal instinct kicked in and I fought for my life. I could have killed that creep then, Dale, if I hadn’t stopped when I did.”

  “He deserved it.”

  “Perhaps. But it took me a while to come to terms with that. To know that I’m capable of such violence.”

  “You’re strong. I told you that and you were fighting for your life that night. If he’d actually hurt you then I dread to think of how things would have turned out.”

  “But he didn’t. And I’m okay.”

  He nodded but his eyes glistened and Lucie could see that he had struggled hearing the truth. As she had always known he would.

  “There’s more.”

  “There is?”

  “Best get it all out right?”

  “I guess.”

  “Can I have a hug first?”

  “Of course you can.”

  He moved further onto the bed with his back against the headboard and opened his arms. Lucie went to him, curling up against him, sliding her arms around him. As she listened to the steady beat of his heart, she knew that she’d done the right thing being honest. She didn’t want anything to come between her and Dale. She needed him to know her inside out. Because he deserved nothing less than everything she had to give.

  ***

  Dale held Lucie tightly. His heart was thundering and he knew she could hear it but he knew she’d understand. What she’d been through because of Jamie Davenport horrified him. Even though Jamie no longer had the use of his legs, Dale still wanted to go and punch him, to make him feel some of the terror that Lucie had suffered that Christmas. She was so brave about it all, her courage and ability to go on left him in awe of her.

  “Dale?” She lifted her head.

  “Yes.”

  “I’m ready now to tell you the rest.”

  “Okay.” His stomach lurched. He didn’t know how much more he could stand to hear.

  “This isn’t to do with Jamie though. This goes way back.”

  “Your mum?”

  She nodded. “There are things I haven’t told you about her. Reasons why I’ve always been so afraid of being hurt, of not being good enough. With Jamie, I believed I wasn’t good enough and that meant that I could cope with his indifference. But with you, Dale, I couldn’t bear to feel that I wasn’t what you wanted. We have such a good friendship that I’ve always been terrified of ruining it.”

  “I get that, Luce. After we… you know… then you went off to uni, I didn’t know how to behave; what to do for the best. I fell hard for you that summer and when it seemed like you’d rejected me, I almost went crazy. I missed you so much.”

  “I missed you too.” Her eyes filled with tears and one escaped and trickled down her cheek. He reached out and smoothed it away with his thumb.

  “My mother didn’t just die that day, Dale.”

  “She didn’t?”

  “She was leaving us.”

  “Leaving you and your dad?”

  “Yes. She left a note.”

  “She left you on Christmas Eve with just a note?”

  “My dad and I were making mince pies but we ran out of flour, so we popped out to the shops before they closed. She must have had it all planned. Dad always insisted he’d bought enough flour with the weekly shop. Afterwards, he admitted that he suspected she’d thrown it out so we’d need to go shopping, thus clearing the way for her to go. When we got back, the house was silent. There was a brief note propped up by the kettle.”

  “You never told me or anyone else this before?”

  She shook her head. “I was ashamed. I mean, if my own mother would run off and leave me behind, then I must be really unlovable, right?”

  “That is so wrong, Lucie. But I understand where you’re coming from. What did the note say?”

  “That she was sorry. She never meant for it to happen but she’d fallen out of love with my dad and in love with another man. Thinking about it now, it must have been even harder on Dad because she also said that she was pregnant. Imagine how he felt reading that after they’d lost my brother and never conceived again – whether deliberate or not.”

  “Your poor father.”

  “He was devastated. But he couldn’t fall apart. He had me to look after. It gets worse.”

  “It does?”

  “Her boyfriend picked her up but he’d been out drinking after work. It was Christmas Eve so I guess he got caught up the festive spirit and just had one too many. Driving across town, he hit a patch of ice and crashed head on into a tree.”

  Dale watched her as she told the story. Her face was blank, as if she’d rehearsed this moment many times. “Lucie, have you thought about telling me this before?”

  “Many times. I’ve practised the whole thing, the idea of confiding in you was so appealing. But as time went on, it just seemed harder to do. I suppressed it, pushed it right down deep inside and at times, I actually wondered if I’d dreamt it all.”

  “I’m glad you’re telling me now.”

  She smiled sadly. “Me too.”

  “So why’d she pick Christmas Eve? Couldn’t she have waited until the new year? Seen out one last Christmas with you.”

  She shook her head. “Apparently not. Because she was pregnant and evidently overwhelmed by the urgency to leave. Dad told me that he thought she was just getting a bit fat. But no, she was carrying my half brother or sister. Leaving me in order to build a new life with my sibling and her lover.”

  “I’m so sorry, Luce.”

  “It was easier to let everyone think she’d just been killed in a car accident. To tell people that she was killed as she left us was just too difficult. Dad and I agreed to keep it quiet.”

  “But, Luce, you were only thirteen. He should never have expected you to keep that a secret.”

  She shrugged. “I grew up quickly that day.” She hung her head and rubbed the back of her neck. “As you know, my dad suffered. He became quite depressed and it took him a few years to even begin going out again. He went to work, came home, drank three beers, went to bed. Like a robot. I never wanted that life for him. I was terrified of having that life myself. So when he did meet Thelma, I was happy for him.”

  “Even though she wasn’t always too happy about you?” Dale gently stroked each finger of her hand in turn.

  “No she wasn’t. My grumpy stepmother and the ugly sisters. My life is such a cliché.” She sighed. “So there you have it.”

  “You’ve been through so much, Luce.”

  “More than so
me, less than others. But now you have a clear picture of why I hated Christmas.”

  He nodded. “Hated?”

  “Until this year.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, Dale. You came all this way with me and have done so much to make it perfect.”

  “The wedding didn’t exactly go smoothly.”

  “No, but that certainly wasn’t your fault. Or mine.”

  “I guess not.”

  “But what about you, Dale? Do you dislike me now you know that I smashed a man’s face in with a bulldog ornament? Now you know that my mother didn’t love me enough to stick around?”

  Dale paused and took a deep breath. As he released it, he cupped her chin in his palms. “Lucie, I could never dislike you. I am sad that you’ve carried all of this round on your own for so long. Sad that you didn’t tell me before but I understand why. It’s traumatic enough for a child to be abandoned by a parent, let alone to be attacked like that, and by their boyfriend’s mate. I don’t know how you’ve managed to hold it all together all this time.”

  “I do.”

  “You do?”

  “I had you. Even when you didn’t know all the gory details, you still knew some of it and deep down, I suspect that you had an idea there might be more.”

  “I did wonder why your mum was in a car with another man, after it was reported in the papers, but I didn’t want to ask and make your pain worse. Just in case you hadn’t thought about it yourself. And as for Jamie… Well, I just thought he’d cheated on you and you’d caught him but were too embarrassed to say.”

  “You’ve been my rock.”

  “You’ve been mine too, Luce. I’m always happiest when I’m with you. When I’m not, I’m thinking about you.”

  “But this is risky, right?”

  He nodded. “We have a lot to lose here. If we become more than friends, then we risk losing our friendship if things don’t work out. Lucie… I need to tell you something too.”

  “You do?”

  “I fell deeply in love with you after that day at my house when we made love for the first time. I couldn’t help myself. You were my… my first.”

  “I was?”

  “Yes. Couldn’t you tell?”

  “I had a hunch but we were young, I didn’t expect you to be all that experienced.”

  He gave a small laugh. “It tore me apart when you went away.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “When you got together with Jamie, I was so mad at you. I didn’t think he was good enough for you but I wouldn’t have thought anyone was. Not even me.”

  “Really?”

  “You were so bright, so well read, so ambitious. You had plans, Luce, and I didn’t want to hold you back by getting all clingy. So I backed off.”

  “If you’d just told me how you felt…”

  “Would it have changed anything?”

  She sighed. “I don’t know. I was a different person back then. Life shapes us, eh?”

  “It sure does.”

  They sat in silence for a while, staring at the wall where the shadows of snowflakes swirled. The television in the lounge now played some Christmas service complete with readings and carols. Dale flexed his legs and fingers then turned to Lucie.

  “The way I see it is that we have two choices. We give this a go. Which is my favourite option.” He smiled. “Or we don’t. We just stay friends.”

  “I like option one the best but… what if it doesn’t work out?”

  “Can you imagine that happening?”

  “No.” She grinned as she shuffled closer to him. “What I can’t imagine is not waking up with you every day. I can’t stand the thought of seeing you with another woman. And I couldn’t bear not being able to kiss you now that I know how good it feels.”

  “I think,” he said, as Lucie ran a hand over his arm causing goosebumps to spring up on his skin, “that staying just friends will be far too tough on us now.”

  “Mainly because we’d have to break the news of our fake breakup to your parents.” Lucie slipped her arms around his neck.

  “Exactly. And that would be a trial to go through indeed. Mum would be devastated.”

  “She really would.” Lucie slid onto his lap and moved her face closer to his so that their noses almost touched. “So I vote we don’t do that. I don’t want to break Glenda’s heart.”

  “Deal. Now… How about we start this day over again?”

  “Sounds like a good plan to me. Hold on!” She crawled down the bed to the flower arrangement and pulled out a sprig of mistletoe then held it over her head.

  “Merry Christmas, Dale Treharne.”

  “Merry Christmas, Lucie Quigley.”

  Dale leaned forwards and kissed her softly.

  And as the snow continued to fall outside, muffling the sounds of the world as it covered everything with a thick, white blanket, and the fairy on the tree smiled as her dress sparkled in the flashing lights, and the carollers on the television gathered to celebrate the festive occasion, Lucie snuggled up with the man she’d always loved, and finally understood why Christmas could be the best time of the year.

  Epilogue

  “I’d forgotten how beautiful it is here.” Lucie held tightly onto Dale’s arm as they entered Central Park.

  “Me too. It’s absolutely perfect. I’m so happy that we’ve come back.”

  Snow had fallen heavily the night before and everything was white. The trees either side of the walkway were black against the steely sky and all sounds seemed muted, except for the tweets and warbles that came from those birds brave enough to remain in the park through the winter months.

  “Wait up, you two!” Glenda called as she hurried behind them, dragging Hank in her wake.

  “I can’t believe that’s the Dakota just across the road,” Hank said, his eyes wide with excitement.

  “We were like that last year, Dad. It’s amazing seeing Manhattan for the first time.”

  “It’s amazing seeing it for the second time,” Lucie added.

  Lucie breathed deeply of the icy air and a thrill ran through her. They’d saved hard for months to make a return trip to Manhattan, something that had been made easier by paying just one mortgage, as Dale had finished his house renovations in August and Lucie had moved in with him. She was still getting used to living somewhere so spacious after being at her flat, but every day after work, she experienced a wave of excitement as she knew she’d soon be heading home to Dale.

  Glenda and Hank had been keen to accompany them to New York ever since they’d been asked. It was a first for Glenda, being away from her family over the festive season, but since Lucie and Dale had returned from New York last December gushing about their trip, she had vowed to try new things, including travelling further afield. They’d arrived in the city two days ago and were staying at a very nice hotel just five minutes’ walk from Central Park. It wasn’t The Plaza, and it wasn’t as luxurious as the hotel they’d stayed in last Christmas, but it was in a good location and had everything they needed. Its nightly rate was reasonable, which meant that they’d be able to do some Christmas shopping too.

  They stopped in Strawberry Fields in front of the Imagine mosaic. Just like last year, the ground around it was covered in snow, but someone had wiped the centre clean.

  This time last year when they’d stood here, things had been so different. For starters, Petra had been about to get married, but after catching Harry in the toilets with Tania, she had decided to make some big changes in her life. Petra was currently backpacking around the world courtesy of her employer, and the monthly emails she sent Lucie suggested that she was having a fabulous time. As for Lucie, she was still working at St. Clothilde’s, but she was also doing an Open University Masters in Creative Writing, which she was thoroughly enjoying. She wasn’t sure yet what direction the qualification would take her in, but it was exciting knowing that there would be possibilities available to her.

  “Imagine.” Hank rubbed th
e toe of his boot over the edge of the mosaic. “I’ve always wanted to see this. Thanks for inviting us. I don’t think we’d have got round to coming out here if you hadn’t. Right, Glenda?”

  She shook her head. “It was something we talked about years ago, but then having the boys and being so busy, we accepted that we probably never would.”

  “Life is for living, Mum and Dad. I told you this.”

  “I did worry about leaving everyone over Christmas but Helen said she’d be fine going to her parents’ this year and, well… as for Ieuan, he’s probably having a great time in the Maldives with Barry.”

  “Things change, Mum. They can’t stay the same forever.” Dale patted his mother’s shoulder. “Anyway… I have something I need to attend to.”

  Lucie caught a look between Dale and his mother. Something was going on.

  Dale walked to the centre of the mosaic and took a deep breath then released it slowly.

  “Dale, what are you doing? You look like you’re about to recite Shakespeare or something.”

  “No, my darling. Not quite.” He pointed at the mosaic beneath his feet. “Lucie Quigley… Imagine a man and a woman who’ve been friends all their lives. Since they were very young children. Can you do that?”

  Lucie chewed her bottom lip. People had stopped walking and were staring at Dale as if he was taking part in street theatre.

  “Lucie! Answer him,” Glenda said.

  “Oh. Yes, Dale. I can imagine that.”

  “Okay then. Now imagine that they went all the way to Manhattan for a winter wedding one year and during that trip, they finally admitted how they felt about each other.”

  “I can do that,” she said.

  “Now… Imagine if one year later, the couple made a return trip to New York. And…” Dale dropped to his knees. “The man told his girlfriend how much he loved her, how much he’d always loved her and asked her to be his wife.” He reached into his coat pocket and brought out a small black box. “How’d you think that might go, Luce?”

  Lucie looked into his big brown eyes. She felt light and floaty, as if she were made of gossamer and at any moment she’d be carried away on the breeze.