Altitude

by Niel Bushnell

  She thought about pushing him away, of calling for help, of joking her way out of this, of playing along just long enough to get away. But then Tam thought of Abigail, about what she’d said. She wouldn’t give James power, not any more.

  ‘James,’ Tam began, making sure his friends could hear her as well, ‘either take your hand off me right now or I’ll post that little picture of you in the group chat. You want the whole year group to see your little private photo?’

  The smirk fell from James’s face.

  ‘You . . . you wouldn’t do that? You can’t do that.’

  ‘Can’t I?’ Tam grinned.

  James’s eyes darted quickly between Tam and his two friends and, after a moment’s hesitation, his hand opened.

  Tam turned to leave, then stopped and moved closer to James, whispering so only he could hear. ‘And if you say anything else about me, if you tell any more lies to your friends, or online – anything – I’ll post that picture everywhere I can. I think I’m still friends with your mum on Facebook. Do you understand?’

  James nodded, his face ashen.

  ‘Good,’ Tam said. ‘I’m not giving you power any more.’

  She smiled, slapped his cheek twice, then turned towards home, her heart pounding in her chest. She half expected James to shout something, or to come running after her, but he did neither. When she finally felt brave enough to glance over her shoulder there was no sign of him or his friends.

  TWENTY

  ‘But I promised Tam I’d meet her,’ Abigail pleaded, feeling like she was a little kid again.

  Her mum didn’t look at her. ‘Well, you shouldn’t have promised. I told you about today.’

  ‘No you didn’t!’

  ‘I did. You just don’t listen. That’s not my fault.’ Her mum’s voice was measured and even, but Abigail heard the temper bubbling just beneath her words. ‘I told you about it when it was booked and I mentioned it again yesterday. What do I have to do? Tattoo it on your arm?’

  Abigail started to protest, then remembered it was pointless. Her mum wouldn’t budge. If Abigail argued with her she’d just explode and they’d get nowhere. She sighed with exasperation as she pulled out her phone and texted Tam.

  ‘How long will we be?’ Abigail asked.

  ‘Appointment’s an hour. I thought we could get some lunch in town after, just the two of us. Some girly time.’

  ‘God, don’t call it girly time, Mum.’

  ‘What should I call it then?’

  ‘Nothing. Will we be back by one?’

  Her mum pulled on her jacket, searching in the hall for her car keys. ‘More likely two. Why?’

  ‘Rearranging with Tam,’ Abigail said, finishing her text.

  ‘You’ve got all summer,’ her mum sighed. ‘Do you really need to see her today?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Have you seen my keys?’ Abigail’s mum asked, checking her pockets for the third time.

  Abigail didn’t reply, her attention on her phone, waiting for Tam to respond.

  ‘Who put the keys in the fruit bowl?’ Abigail’s mum said to no one as she marched towards the door. ‘Come on, Abby, we’re going to be late.’

  Abigail cringed. She hated being called Abby. She’d told her mum not to but she still did it. Like she was still five. She dragged herself towards the door and outside to the car.

  It was warm already, the sun shining brightly. She could almost pretend she was on holiday, staying here at her aunt’s house for a week or two. She still half expected to go home again any day now, back to the tension and the shouting and the beatings and the apologies. It didn’t feel permanent. Would it ever?

  ‘Shit, I’m in the wrong lane,’ Abigail’s mum muttered, grimacing as she steered the car into the car park under the NO ENTRY sign, ignoring the pipping horn of another car leaving.

  They shared relieved laughter as her mum parked the car.

  ‘OK,’ Abigail’s mum said as she turned the engine off. It was as if she was mentally steeling herself for the appointment. ‘OK,’ she repeated, turning to Abigail, smiling as she removed her sunglasses. ‘Shall we go in?’

  ‘What happened this morning?’ Tam asked as she approached Abigail in the wood. It was mid-afternoon and the trees had trapped the heat under its canopy, making the wood airless and stifling.

  Abigail grinned, pleased to see her. ‘Mum happened.’

  ‘She grounded you?’

  ‘No, nothing like that.’ Abigail paused, feeling stupid. ‘We had a counselling session, me and Mum.’

  ‘Oh,’ Tam said, sounding surprised.

  ‘I know, right?’ Abigail smiled awkwardly.

  ‘How was it?’

  ‘Not as bad as I expected it to be. Mum cried a lot, but we talked about stuff we never talk about, so I suppose it was actually pretty good.’

  Abigail seemed different today, taller, calmer. ‘You look . . .’ Tam couldn’t find the right word.

  ‘Happy?’ Abigail offered.

  Tam laughed. ‘Yeah, I suppose that must be it.’

  ‘I am, I think.’

  ‘Good,’ Tam said, smiling. ‘Oh, guess who I saw yesterday after we left.’

  ‘Who? Becca?’

  ‘James Pinchin.’ Tam grinned.

  ‘Oh God, you’re back with him, aren’t you?’ Abigail groaned, sensing Tam’s excitement.

  Tam tutted, her enthusiasm tempered. ‘No!’

  ‘So what happened?’

  ‘I told him. I didn’t give him power.’

  ‘Really?’

  Tam nodded quickly. ‘You should have seen his face.’

  ‘I wish I had. What did you say to him?’

  ‘I might have threatened to send that picture to his mum.’ Tam burst out laughing.

  Shocked, Abigail replied, ‘You didn’t?’

  ‘I did.’

  Abigail laughed along with her. ‘But you wouldn’t, would you?’

  ‘I deleted it after I showed it to you.’ Tam grinned. ‘But his face! I wish you’d been there.’

  The two girls laughed once more, wallowing in the moment.

  ‘We should celebrate,’ Tam said, producing a small bottle from her pocket. She unscrewed the lid, took a mouthful of the clear liquid and offered it to Abigail.

  ‘What’s that?’ she asked tentatively, feeling immediately uncomfortable.

  ‘Gin,’ Tam replied, her face wincing as she swallowed. ‘Dad’s gin. He won’t notice it’s gone.’

  Abigail stared at the outstretched bottle. ‘No thanks,’ she said eventually. That little bottle represented so much more to her than Tam could ever know. It was the source of so much pain. That liquid seeped into the cracks in her parents’ relationship and forced them wider apart.

  Tam took another mouthful. ‘Come on, it’s just one drink.’

  ‘No.’

  Tam wiped her lips as she watched her. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing’s wrong.’

  Tam waited.

  Abigail tensed, not wanting to say any more. She looked up at the trees, breathing in time with their swaying branches. No bullshit here, she remembered. She sighed as she looked back to Tam and said, ‘Mum drinks. Dad drinks. I don’t want to. OK?’

  ‘Yeah, course it’s OK.’ Tam put the lid back on the bottle and put it away.

  Relieved, Abigail smiled at Tam, trying to fix the odd mood that had settled over the wood. ‘All right,’ she said eventually, ‘what shall we do today?’

  ‘You tell me. You’re the one who wanted to test me.’

  ‘Right!’ Abigail turned to her bag on the floor, rummaging inside it to find her notebook. She pulled it out and held up her pencil. ‘How far have you flown?’

  Tam shifted her weight, looking uncomfortable. ‘I dunno. Not far.’

  ‘Have you ever tried flying outside the wood?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Why not?’

  Tam sat on the floor, thinking as she pulled blades of grass out of the earth.
‘It just doesn’t feel right. I don’t think I could.’

  ‘We can try that later,’ Abigail said, making a note at the side of the page. She sat down in front of Tam. ‘How fast do you think you can fly?’

  ‘How should I know?’

  ‘How high do you think you can fly?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘How long do you think you can fly for?’

  Tam sighed impatiently. ‘Abigail, I don’t know.’

  Abigail looked up from her notepad. ‘Can you lift me?’

  ‘Not this again.’ A grin grew over Tam’s face. ‘That’s what this is about, isn’t it?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You want me to take you flying.’

  ‘No, I’m just testing you,’ Abigail said defensively, but she was already starting to laugh. ‘OK, yeah, I do.’

  Tam shook her head.

  ‘Oh, come on! The least you can do is try,’ Abigail pleaded.

  ‘I told you, I’m not a superhero.’

  ‘I know, but I reckon you can carry me.’

  ‘We’ve been over this. No!’

  Abigail put down her notepad and inched closer. ‘Please. Just try.’ She was grinning from ear to ear, her eyebrows lifted in anticipation.

  Tam’s stern face began to break into laughter. ‘You’re dangerous, you know that?’

  ‘I know,’ Abigail laughed. ‘Let’s just give it a go, OK?’

  Tam sighed, looking defeated. ‘OK . . .’

  Abigail cheered, jumping up and dancing in a circle.

  ‘. . . but I’m telling you it won’t work.’

  ‘All I’m asking is for you to try,’ Abigail replied.

  Tam stood up, brushing her jeans down. ‘Let’s just get this over with.’

  ‘Right.’ Abigail approached her, raising her arms, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. She stood in front of Tam, uncertain how this was going to work.

  ‘It’s your idea,’ Tam said, ‘so you figure it out.’

  Abigail inhaled, putting aside her embarrassment and stood next to Tam, their bodies touching. She wrapped her arms round her neck. She could feel the intimate heat of the other girl, smell Tam’s perfume. Every part of her wanted to pull herself back, to put some space between them, but then Tam wrapped her arms round Abigail’s back.

  ‘What about your legs?’ Tam asked.

  Abigail looked down. ‘I . . . I don’t know. I could stand on your feet, maybe.’

  ‘No, you don’t,’ Tam replied quickly. ‘You’re gonna fall off, you know that, don’t you?’

  ‘I’ll be fine,’ Abigail said, her stomach trembling. She looked at Tam and grinned. ‘Up, up and away.’

  ‘Shut up,’ Tam said, laughing. She closed her eyes, turning her head away from Abigail.

  ‘If anyone saw us now . . .’ Abigail whispered with a nervous giggle.

  ‘Don’t make it weirder than it already is,’ Tam hissed. She took a deep breath, blowing out slowly.

  Abigail felt her body tense, her arms gripping tighter around her. ‘Is it happening?’

  ‘Shut up.’

  Tam lifted up, just a tiny amount, pulling at Abigail’s body.

  ‘I can feel it,’ Tam said, excited. ‘I’m flying, I’m flying!’

  Abigail began to grin, feeling her arms lifting up.

  ‘We’re flying!’ Tam cried, lifting her head to the sky. ‘I’m a superhero!’

  Abigail looked about her, then down at the ground, and saw Tam’s feet, on tiptoes but still anchored to the ground.

  Tam burst out laughing. She let go and fell into the soft grass.

  Abigail frowned, folding her arms. ‘Did you even try?’

  ‘No, of course not! I told you I can’t carry you and I’m not going to risk hurting you.’

  Abigail felt herself blush; Tam cared about her. The realization brought laughter to her cheeks. ‘You’re such an arsehole.’

  ‘I know,’ Tam grinned.

  Abigail sat down next to her, leaning back and letting the sun touch her face. She was still smiling, she realized. Their laughter subsided and they settled into a comfortable silence, soaking in the beauty of the wood.

  Abigail turned to look at Tam. Her eyes were closed. Her face was relaxed and untroubled.

  ‘Thank you,’ Abigail murmured.

  Tam opened her eyes and turned to face her. ‘What?’

  ‘Thanks for coming here . . . for not pushing me to drink . . . for letting me share this.’

  Tam smiled self-consciously, then pushed Abigail’s shoulder. ‘Shut up.’

  ‘I mean it.’

  ‘I know you do.’ She broke Abigail’s gaze, looking back up at the sky.

  ‘Have you told Becca?’ Abigail asked hesitantly.

  ‘Told her what?’

  ‘That you can fly.’

  Tam burst out laughing. ‘Of course not. If you want something to be kept secret, you don’t tell Becca about it.’

  ‘You don’t trust her?’

  Tam thought for a moment. ‘It’s not that I don’t trust her, but she just can’t help telling other people things. If she knew something about me she’d have to share it. She can’t help it, not really.’

  ‘Have you told her about your dad?’

  Tam sat up, her back to Abigail. ‘No. It’s . . . private.’ Her head tilted so she could look over her shoulder. ‘I haven’t told anyone else, OK?’

  Abigail nodded. ‘OK.’

  Tam turned away again, cutting herself off.

  Above them the sky became grey as clouds drifted over the sun.

  ‘How is he?’ Abigail ventured, feeling like she was pushing her luck.

  ‘Not great.’

  A drop of water splashed into the dry soil next to Abigail, stealing her attention for a moment. ‘If there’s anything I can—’

  ‘There isn’t,’ Tam said abruptly. Another drop of water hit her hand. Soon the earth was dotted with tiny darker islands of moisture. ‘We should go,’ she said, standing up.

  Abigail watched as she began to walk away. ‘But the experiments . . . We’ve barely started.’

  Tam stopped. Her face betrayed her worries. ‘I’m tired.’

  The rain became heavier, a summer torrent that fed the soil and made the leaves glisten as if they were made of painted glass. Smells erupted onto Abigail’s senses as the rain cooled her.

  ‘Are you staying?’ Tam asked, a sad smile on her face.

  ‘No, I’ll go home.’

  They said no more and, with a brief glance at each other, the two girls ran in opposite directions, towards their homes, towards shelter from the elements.

  TWENTY-ONE

  Tam stared at the full moon, taking in its detail for the first time. She had never stopped to look at it before; it was just a thing up there in the sky. Now, as her eyes became accustomed to the blue midnight, she realized how beautiful it was, like a stone jewel hanging above her back garden.

  Oh God! She was one of those people now. Someone who stops to admire the moon! Next she’d be calling people over to point out the untouchable joy of its pitted surface. She laughed to herself, shaking her head as she thought about the change that had come over her since that first day in the wood. Back then, Tam’s view of the world had been small, focused only on herself and those in her immediate circle. The rest of the world hadn’t mattered. But now it was as if she was seeing everything for the first time, in high-definition detail. There was more to life than the confines of this stupid little town. There was a whole world to explore.

  The faraway chime of breaking glass startled her. Drunken laughter followed it; the last few revellers were making their way home from the pub.

  She waited until the night settled into stillness once more, then she looked back to the moon. She relaxed her shoulders, letting the tension fall from her body as she willed herself into the air.

  Her bare feet stayed on the ground, the blades of grass tickling between her toes.

  She tried again, thinking
of escape, of leaving her problems behind, of the freedom she found in the clouds.

  Nothing. The addictive sensation she had felt in the wood was absent here.

  ‘Shit,’ Tam whispered.

  The dark cut-out shape of a cat arched its back as it watched her from the top of the wall.

  Tam tensed too, the hairs on her neck tingling. She bared her teeth at the cat and hissed. The animal leaped over the wall and disappeared into the next garden without a sound.

  Tam laughed quietly to herself. She waited a moment, listening to the empty night, wondering if it was worth trying one more time. But she already knew the truth – she’d known it all along: she could only fly from the wood.

  She took in the view of the moon for one last time before she walked towards the house. As she returned to bed, she texted Abigail with the news.

  TWENTY-TWO

  When Tam arrived at the bridge Abigail was already there waiting for her.

  ‘So, it’s here or nowhere?’ Abigail shouted to her as she approached.

  ‘No hello?’

  ‘Hello,’ Abigail said with a sarcastic smile. ‘You tried it in your garden?’

  ‘Yeah. I can only fly in the wood,’ Tam said, realizing the notion saddened her.

  ‘Interesting.’

  ‘Is it?’

  Abigail thought for a moment. ‘Well, I guess so, yeah. I wonder what’s special about here? Why can you only fly in the wood?’

  Tam looked about the towers of bark. The air was damp, cool and overcast. Yesterday’s downpour had killed the overbearing heat and already the wood looked greener, its leaves glittering with the lingering dew. Yet it was more than just a wood. This place was special.

  ‘Did you bring everything?’ Abigail asked as she closed the gap between them. She was grinning, excited to see Tam, and Tam realized she felt the same. Her stomach tingled with anticipation.

  ‘Most of it,’ she said, remembering the extensive list Abigail had sent her. ‘Do we really need it all?’

  ‘I dunno,’ Abigail replied. ‘That’s why I wanted you to bring it. Today’s an experiment.’

  Tam stepped onto the old bridge and dropped the rucksack from her shoulder, glad to be free of it. Abigail sat down on a bag of her own.