Twelve Upon a Time…

by Edward Galluzzi

  Goggy rubbed his scraggly beard and smiled: “I’ll get ye home or may I grow six feet if me don’t!” Goggy told Zachary, Nathan and Michael to look directly into his eyes and to not blink or move. He said to them, “Now, close ye eyes and begin rubbing ye noses together. Do not think of anything but ye home, only ye home mind ye.”

  Zachary, Michael and Nathan began to laugh, but Goggy quickly interrupted them: “I said rub ye noses together!” Michael, Nathan and Zachary shrugged their shoulders and composed themselves. They turned toward each other and started rubbing their noses together.

  Goggy continued:

  “Nosey, nosey

  Send these humans away.

  Come back ye

  And visit me another day!”

  “Get up Zachary and Nathan! “Get up Michael! Get up or you’ll be late for school.” The brothers arose quickly and came into the kitchen.

  They looked at each other in wonder as they were all in pajamas. They looked at each other once again and asked their parents, “Where is Goggy and the gold pieces he gave us?” Their parents looked at each other kind of funny and shrugged their shoulders.

  Their parents asked, “Who is Goggy? What gold pieces?” Zachary replied, “Goggy is a leprechaun and he gave us gold because we caught him at the end of the rainbow.” Michael and Nathan chimed, “Yeah, we caught him with your garden net and he showed us his crock of gold!” Michael continued, “Yeah, and we were going to bring back his pot of gold to you, but Goggy would have grown six feet tall, lost his magical powers and become human... and be awfully sad.”

  Their parents smiled and asked their children, “Did you guys have a big dream?” “A dream!” said Michael, Nathan and Zachary together.

  April: The Great Festival of Rabbunia

  Once upon a time in the far away land of Rabbunia (pronounced Rab-bun-knee-a), the inhabitants of Rabbunia, known as Rabbunians, were preparing for the Great Festival.

  The Rabbunians were very egg-cited this year. For you see, the Great Festival is celebrated only once every 50 years and it has been a long 50 years since the last Great Festival.

  The Great Festival is a celebration of everything that is good. The inhabitants of Rabbunia choose the time of the Great Festival to welcome outsiders to their land to witness their jubilee. For this 50th anniversary of their half-century Great Festival, the Rabbunians invited Adam, Sarah and Sharon. They promised to invite baby Hannah to their next Great Festival; for now, she was too young. The official Rabbunian invitations for Sharon, Adam and Sarah were enclosed.

  The Rabbunian invitation warned them to be sure not to lose the invitations. There was a map and directions to Rabbunia on the backside. They also will need to present the invitations to the border guard. The border guard protected the entrance to the land of Rabbunia. She will not let anyone into her country without an official invitation from the Chief Hare and Hareness of Rabbunia.

  Oh, did I forget to tell you that rabbits were the only inhabitants of Rabbunia? I don’t know how that could have slipped my mind until now. Well Sarah, Adam and Sharon, wrinkle your noseies, wiggle your earsies and grab your lucky footsies because you cannot enter the land of Rabbunia unless you are a rabbit!

  Now, having heard this, Adam, Sharon and Sarah stared at each other in amazement. How, they wondered, could they become rabbits? It sounded like a hare-brain idea to them! Sarah, Adam and Sharon were too tall and neither had a bushy tail. Their ears were not on the top of their heads and they did not eat carrots all the time. Sharon, Sarah and Adam wondered how they could use their invitations to the Great Festival in Rabbunia if they were not rabbits?

  Sarah and Sharon whispered something to each other and then twitched their noses (they saw that on a TV show); but they did not turn into rabbits. They just got crossed- eye from staring at their own noses as they twitched and yelled to each other, “Not!” Adam just shook his head and said in some disbelief, “Sisters!”

  The day of the Great Festival was fast approaching. The Rabbunians were excited as they decorated the town, prepared the food (except hasenpfeffer) and made the final preparations. Sharon, Adam and Sarah decided to wash their bicycles for they planned to ride them to the border of Rabbunia. Adam, Sarah and Sharon washed and scrubbed and waxed and polished. Then they waxed and polished and washed and scrubbed. Their bikes never looked better.

  The children packed their backpacks for the trip and included food, drinks, and gum and gum and gum and gum. Sharon, Adam and Sarah weren’t sure how far it was from their house to Rabbunia, but they weren’t going to take any chances of running out of gum!

  Sarah, Sharon and Adam were certainly ready for their trip. Yet, they still wondered how they would change into rabbits so they could enter Rabbunia for the Great Festival.

  The day to leave home had come. Adam, Sarah and Sharon kissed their mom and dad goodbye. They adjusted their backpacks and put on their riding safety gear. They thought it would not be a good idea to arrive at Rabbunia all mangled up.

  Sharon, Adam and Sarah mounted their bicycles, which shined and gleamed in the sunlight. They put a couple of pieces of gum in their mouths, blew a couple of bubbles, and were off to Rabbunia and the Great Festival .

  The children rode their bikes most of the day, and then they rode some more. They checked their map and directions often. Sharon, Adam and Sarah thought that this would not be a good time to lose way and possibly miss the Great Festival. They still wondered, however, how they would become rabbits.

  They stopped every once in awhile to eat and drink, and each time they mounted their bikes, they stuffed fresh gum (2-3 pieces now that they were away from home) in their mouths. Sarah, Adam and Sharon rode and rode some more. They chewed gum and blew bubbles to the point that their jaws started aching. Sometimes a mosquito or gnat would get stuck on a bubble only to be sucked into an inhospitable place. Yuck!

  The map and directions were rather easy to follow. They felt confident that they would reach Rabbunia by nightfall. Adam, Sarah and Sharon only had one more turn to the right and Rabbunia should be there. They stretched their necks far ahead of their bikes to catch a glimpse of a land never seen by human beans. They rode faster and faster as their legs ached with each turn of their pedals. Sharon, Sarah and Adam no longer chewed gum, as they were too excited to keep their mouths closed long enough to chew!

  Adam, Sarah and Sharon turned the last corner that was drawn on the map. All of a sudden they stopped pedaling and their bikes slowed to a dead stop. Their eyes widened as in front of them could only be the land of Rabbunia. The beauty and colors, mostly pastels, reminded Adam, Sarah and Sharon of something. As if a light bulb went off in their heads at the same time, they turned toward each other and exclaimed, “We’re off to see the...”

  Adam and the girls laughed at each other and their goofiness, but they couldn’t help but break out in song (sung to “We’re Off to See the Wizard”):

  Oh, we’re off to see the rabbits,

  The wonderful rabbits of Rabbunia.

  We hear they’re fuzzy and wuzzy,

  If any rabbits there was.

  If ever, oh ever a rabbit there was

  The rabbits of Rabbunia are them becoz,

  Becoz, becoz, becoz, becoz, becoz;

  Becoz of the Great Festival they does.

  We’re off to see the Festival,

  The wonderful Festival of Rabbunia!

  Well, it’s a sure thing that Adam, Sarah and Sharon won’t have to worry about singing on Star Search! Moments later, they reached the border of Rabbunia. The border guard, er she, er the rabbit, er the border guard—oh well, whomever, stood at attention. She was a decorated hare. The guard wore a bright purple uniform with a bunch of pinned carrots for heroism (some looked a bit gnawed). She also had a clipboard and seemed ready to check anybody who traveled by. The guard was not smiling.

  Sarah, Sharon and Adam dropped their bicycles and approached the border guard. The road suddenly turned from cement to cabbage and carr
ots as they drew closer to Rabbunia.

  As they walked, their feet slowly turned to paws. Their faces grew whiskers aside their noses and their ears grew long and narrow. Their noses began to twitch and their ears began to wiggle. Their skin became fury and fluffy as bushy tails trailed from behind. Sarah, Adam and Sharon turned toward each other and with a silly grin asked, “What’s up doc?”

  The border guard did not seem amused and asked them for their official invitations to enter Rabbunia. Sarah, Adam and Sharon reached in their furry pockets with their paws and handed the documents to the border guard.

  The guard carefully eyed the papers several times and then reviewed them once more. She seem satisfied with the authenticity of the papers and said to Adam, Sharon and Sarah, “Welcome. You may enter the land of Rabbunia. Hop on the foot paws inside and enjoy the Great Festival.”

  Adam, Sarah and Sharon could hardly believe they made it to Rabbunia. They survived their long journey without needing even one bandage. They found the land of Rabbunia without getting lost. Their biggest worry, how they would become rabbits, melted away. Now, they were hopping their way to the Great Festival. What an adventure!

  Sharon, Adam and Sarah hopped closer and closer to the middle of Rabbunia. As they approached, they could tell it was a hare-y town— there were Rabbunian rabbits everywhere! As Sarah, Sharon and Adam hopped by Rabbunians, they were greeted by sniffs and twitches. The Rabbunians were friendly and curious toward their visiting visitors. They seemed proud to have them attend the Great Festival.

  Adam, Sarah and Sharon were finally at the center of the Great Festival. The Rabbunians talked to them and seemed fond of riddles— at least they told a lot of bad ones. One asked Sharon, “What grows on its own tail?” Sharon thought but had no answer. The Rabbunian said, “A turnip!”

  Another asked Sarah, “What stands on its foot and has its heart in its head?” Sarah really had no idea and the Rabbunian laughed, “Why a cabbage-head, of course!”

  Another Rabbunian asked Adam, “Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?” Adam decided not to guess and the rabbit roared, “To lay it on the line, of course!”

  Then, a sly Rabbunian said to all three kids:

  “There is a barn with four corners,

  In each corner stand four bags,

  Upon each bag sit four rabbits,

  Each rabbit has four baby rabbits.

  Then the farmer and his wife came in the barn.

  How many feet are now in the barn?”

  Well, Adam, Sarah and Sharon looked at each other and started counting; but before they could give a response, the Rabbunian said, “Only four feet—the rabbits have paws!”

  Now, the Rabbunians that gathered all laughed somewhat smugly. Sharon whispered to Sarah, “Their riddles are sure a lot about rabbit stuff!”

  Suddenly, the twitching, wiggling, giggling and riddling stopped. The Rabbunians around them bowed their heads and covered their faces with their paws. Sarah, Adam and Sharon were not sure what was happening, but followed their actions, as they were guests.

  It soon became clear why: the Chief Hare and Hareness were approaching. They greeted Adam, Sarah and Sharon with a twitch of their noses and wagging of their tails. The Hareness spoke, “Welcome, Welcome to Rabbunia. You honor us with your presence. Let the Great Festival begin.”

  At that moment, the land became alive with all sorts of activities, games, dances, fireworks (sort of—shooting carrots and turnips out of cannons), and dining. Of course, there was no hasenpfeffer to be found!

  Sharon, Sarah and Adam hopped into the Festival and had a great time. They did everything there was to do and after they finished, they did them all over again. Their Rabbunian trip turned out to be a great adventure.

  It was late at night and even rabbits can have only so much fun. Sharon, Adam and Sarah were too pooped to hop and began rubbing their aching paws much like human beans rub a rabbit’s foot. Sarah asked Adam, “How are we going to get back home. I’m too tired to ride my bicycle and I sure don’t want to walk. What will we do?”

  Before Adam could answer, the Chief Hare and Hareness approached them. The Chief spoke, “You must be tired from your long trip and fun at the Great Festival. We imagine you would like to take your leave of us and return home.” Adam, Sarah and Sharon nodded “yes” sheepishly (it’s pretty funny that rabbits can be sheep-ish). They couldn’t help but twitch their noses out of habit.

  The Chief Hareness said to them, “You always had the power to leave Rabbunia and return home. Just look in your pockets.” Sharon, Adam and Sarah reached with their furry paws into their furry, fluffy pockets. They each found a foot in their pockets.

  The Chief Hare said to Sarah, Adam and Sharon: “Just rub your lucky foot and say over and over, ‘Take me to my human home; Take me to my human home.”

  Sharon, Sarah and Adam turned toward each other and whispered, “Yeah right!” But they were too tired to do anything else, so they began saying together over and over again while they rubbed their stinky feet, “Take me to my human home... take me to my human home...”

  Not knowing how or why, Adam, Sarah and Sharon found themselves in their beds. Gone were the whiskers, ears, noses, fur and paws of a rabbit. They were human beans once again.

  What is the moral of this modest fable you might ask? Why it’s quite simple actually and I thought you would never ask: “Always keep your stinky feet handy!”

  May: The Mother’s Day Surprise

  Stephanie and Jordan were waiting for their parents, Terry and Paula, to leave the house. It seemed like they never would, but finally their parents were out the door with the usual “goodbyes” and “rules.” Every year at this time, Jordan and Stephanie promised themselves that they would surprise their mother on Mother’s Day. Today is the Saturday before, just one more day. Their parents went out to do their usual shopping for the week. Yet, every year at this time, their mom has always found out their plans. Stephanie and Jordan thought that this year was going to be different!

  To help keep their plans a surprise, this year Jordan and Stephanie enlisted the help of Rockie, Bianca, Alfonso and Squeaky (friend of Alfonso). Oh, by the way, Rockie is a dog, Bianca a cat, Alfonso a bird and Squeaky a mouse—all pets of the family (except for their friend Squeaky). It was their job to keep an eye or two or three out for the return of their mother.

  Rockie and Bianca kept guard outside, as it was natural for them to be outside anyway. Alfonso and Squeaky were to warn Stephanie and Jordan once they were told of their mother’s arrival. It was a plan that the children rehearsed with Rockie, Bianca, Alfonso and Squeaky over and over again for the past week.

  The plan went like this: Rockie would bark at Bianca; Bianca would translate the barking into meowing and pass it on Squeaky; Squeaky would interpret the meowing into mousing and squeak at Alfonso; Alfonso, being a well-bred talking bird interpreted the squeaks and squawks to their young masters. A foolproof plan they all surely thought.

  As the pets kept watch, Jordan and Stephanie hurried downstairs to the basement. It was their plan to decorate the basement for Mother’s Day. As they worked, Alfonso flew up and down the stairway to inform Stephanie and Jordan in his high-pitched voice that: “All is clear, all is clear.” The kids smiled and nodded at Alfonso, but kept busy at their plan.

  Stephanie and Jordan began by hanging streamers across the ceiling giving them several twists before anchoring them into the wall. They chose colors of pastel, mostly pink and yellow, for the streamers. Yellow was their mom’s favorite color, which explained why most things in and outside the house were one shade of yellow or another. Jordan and Stephanie apparently were thinking the same thing as they turned toward each other and laughing out loud said, “Too much!”

  With the streamers decorating the ceiling, it was now time for the balloons—yellow and pink balloons of course. Stephanie and Jordan hung the balloons in pairs in each corner of the basement with two pairs hanging down in the middle. Most
decorative they thought as Jordan and Stephanie took a moment to smile with approval at their labor. Like timework, Alfonso came down once again to announce, “It’s all clear.”

  While Stephanie, Jordan, Alfonso and Squeaky were all busy in the house, Rockie and Bianca stood guard outside. They paced back and forth in the front yard near the driveway where they would easily see the children’s parents arrive. They were as vigil as can be, as they know how important their task was in helping Jordan and Stephanie with their plans.

  With the streamers and balloons in place, the “Happy Mother’s Day” banner was next. Stephanie and Jordan were particularly proud of the Mother’s Day banner as they worked on it for several weeks whenever their mother left the house for a meeting or visit with a friend. Stephanie, who was particularly artistic, drew a favorable caricature of her mother on the banner. Even Jordan had to compliment his sister on her drawing; complimenting his sister is something that Jordan tried to avoid!

  Stephanie and Jordan finished hanging the banner in the center of the wall. They stood for a moment admiring their work when Alfonso came down once again to announce his “all clear” before disappearing up the stairs.

  With the streamers, balloons and banner in place, Jordan and Stephanie took out a large piece of cardboard hidden in a closet. The cardboard was a half-finished collage that Stephanie and Jordan began over a month ago. They had carefully chosen various pictures from the family album that highlighted parts of their mother’s life, including some baby and childhood pictures, her high school graduation photo, some wedding pictures and photos of their mother with them in the hospital following their births.