How to Catch a Witch

by Abie Longstaff

  For K & E and for Carla

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Chapter One: It's A Twister!

  Chapter Two: Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh My!

  Chapter Three: Guess My Name

  Chapter Four: Something Wicked This Way Comes

  Chapter Five: Well Met

  Chapter Six: Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are…

  Chapter Seven: Not in Kansas Any More

  Chapter Eight: It Was All Lellow

  Chapter Nine: Toil and Trouble

  Chapter Ten: I'll Get You, My Pretty

  Chapter Eleven: Gifts For a Princess

  Chapter Twelve: Weird Sisters

  Chapter Thirteen: No Witch Alive

  Chapter Fourteen: A Familiar Feeling

  Chapter Fifteen: Chop-Chop!

  Chapter Sixteen: Practising Witchcraft

  Chapter Seventeen: How to Catch a Witch

  How to Trap a Wolf

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Glossary of witch terms

  Items in a Witch’s Larder

  Useful spells

  Copyright

  Charlie was dreaming.

  The house was flying through the air, spinning and bumping on the wind.

  She was off to Oz to see the Munchkins.

  Here came Glinda, floating around in a pink bubble saying, “Charlie, Hogwarts is expecting you. Wear your blue-and-white dress.”

  Then she was falling.

  Down…

  Down…

  Down…

  Creak!

  What was that? Charlie sat bolt upright in bed, her heart pounding.

  The wind was howling outside. The cottage groaned and the windows rattled like a steam train. Charlie frowned. The air had a funny crackle to it – a kind of dry electricity she could almost touch. It made her think of sparks and shooting stars.

  Still half asleep, she felt her way towards the window. Her hands fumbled in the dark, reaching out to emptiness. It was gone! Her window had disappeared! Then … no, no it hadn’t … she was in the new house; the window was on the left now.

  Her younger sister Annie began to cry in the room next door. Charlie opened her door on to the hallway. She rushed to her little sister but Mum was there already. “Shush now,” said Mum, stroking Annie’s back. “It’s just the wind.”

  There was a loud whoosh from outside, and the crackle in the air grew stronger. A strange buzzing feeling ran straight up Charlie’s back from her spine to her neck, making her shiver.

  “Ew … it feels so weird!” She wriggled and twisted, trying to shake off the odd sensation.

  “What does?” said Mum. She picked Annie up and patted her back. “There, the storm’s dying down now.”

  Charlie held her breath. Mum was right. The wind had stopped, and with it the funny feeling. Charlie exhaled in relief.

  “What’s wrong?” came her brother’s voice from behind her.

  “Nothing,” Charlie said quickly.

  “Bet you thought it was ghosts or something!” Matt cuffed her shoulder affectionately. “Like the time you thought there were goblins in the garage.”

  “I only said there m-m-m-might be. There were loads of weird noises.”

  “And when you thought Mr Chapman was a wizard…”

  “Well, he had a very odd hat.”

  Matt shook his head and grinned at her. “Muppet,” he said.

  Charlie poked her tongue out at him and grinned back.

  Dad popped his head around the doorway. “Right, since we’re all up, I’m making pancakes,” he declared. He lifted Annie from Mum and headed downstairs.

  Charlie went back into her bedroom and closed the door. She pulled the heavy curtains open, letting the weak morning light creep into the room. Charlie sat on her window seat and watched the last of the wind pulling on the branches of the trees. She was still trying to shake the unsettled feeling it had given her. That buzzing was really odd! Although, she had to admit, Matt had a point: everywhere she went, Charlie noticed strange things. There was that frog the other day who had looked at her closely, like he was about to talk. And the old apple tree at the bottom of the garden definitely had some kind of face in its bark. These days things had seemed stranger than ever. They’d only moved into the cottage one week earlier and so far it was all very different from London. She pulled out her notebook and found the list entitled “Strange Things”.

  1)Old man with the beard. (Is he some kind of soothsayer?)

  2)Small child with big massive eyes.

  3)Three black cats (esp. the one that glared at me).

  4)Wiggly old apple tree with a face like a troll.

  5)Frogs croaking in rhyme (v. odd).

  6)Enormous pumpkin. (Do they really grow that big? Sign of enchantment?)

  She added:

  7) Strange buzzing.

  Then she closed her notebook and looked at her watch. Seven-thirty a.m. Twenty-five hours until she started at her new school. Charlie gulped. She felt sick at the thought of it. It was horrible going into Year Seven right in the middle of Easter term. Everyone would already know each other. She was going to be the only new person. Charlie turned a page and started to make a list of things to pack before tomorrow.

  “Charlie!” Dad called from downstairs, “Can you go to the shops and buy eggs?” Classic Dad. He’d obviously got halfway through pancake-making before realizing they didn’t have all the ingredients.

  “What about Matt? Can’t he g-go?” Charlie shouted back.

  “I’m studying!” Matt yelled. This was plainly a lie; Charlie could hear the thump of music coming from his room.

  She sighed and headed down the rickety cottage stairs. Each step was so teeny it was like it had been built by elves. Charlie touched the wall for support. The second her fingertips met the old stone wall, she felt the strange buzzing sensation again, but stronger this time, like an itching right in the middle of her bones. She took her hand off the wall and shook her head to clear it. This cottage was creepy. It definitely should go on the Strange Things list:

  8) Creepy cottage (possibly haunted?)

  From the first moment Charlie had set foot in the doorway she’d felt there was something odd about it. What was it? Ghosts? A poltergeist? A vampire living in the cellar? Well, whatever it was, there was no way Charlie was going to mention it – she’d be giving Matt enough ammunition to tease her for years!

  “Go away,” Charlie whispered, just in case the ghost-vampire thing was listening.

  Downstairs, the kitchen was a mess. Dad was planning to build everything himself, from scratch. It would save money, he said. So until then, there were piles of wood lying across the floor, the fridge was precariously balanced on a stack of floor tiles waiting to be laid, and the microwave had to be pulled out from behind a mountain of worktops Dad had bought on eBay.

  Charlie climbed over a heap of boxes to find Dad standing by the grimy old hob covered in flour. Annie was patting his shoulder, giggling as she made clouds appear.

  “Thanks, Charlie,” said Dad, handing her a pound coin. “Don’t go to the deli – it’s too expensive. Go to the supermarket.”

  “But that’s all the way at the other end!”

  “I know, but—”

  “Yeah, yeah. It’ll save money.”

  “Yep!” Dad gave an overly cheery smile.

  Charlie pocketed the coin and pulled on her shoes.

  “Bye!” she yelled as she closed the door. It shook on the hinges as it slammed and Charlie sighed. The cottage was falling to pieces! It was a miracle, really, that the wind hadn’t blown it all the way over that morning. No one had done anything to i
t for years, the lawyers had said. Not since Great-Aunt Bess had died. Dad was going to be very busy.

  Charlie turned and headed down the tangled garden path and along the lane to the village. It was so quiet now the wind was still. She could hear the slap of her shoes on the ground as she walked.

  Caw!

  Charlie jumped. A big bird with black feathers stared down at her from the apple tree. It looked like some kind of crow. It cocked its head to the side, as if it was assessing her. Then it gave a little nod, and flew off. To her list, Charlie mentally added:

  9) Spooky crow.

  She headed into the village, past the Spindle pub and the Washer Woman Laundrette. It was all so twee here: cobbled streets and little shops selling sweets and cakes. There was even a bunting-covered bandstand where local group the Three Minstrels played. Mum said it was one of the oldest villages in England and they were really lucky to live in such a special place. Charlie didn’t share her enthusiasm. Just because Mum had inherited a creepy house in the middle of nowhere didn’t mean they had to actually live in it.

  Charlie reached the supermarket and walked through the shiny automatic doors in relief. At least something looked like the city here. She fingered the familiar packaging as she passed along the aisles. Eggs. She looked around till she spotted them. Her eyes scanned the prices and she immediately ruled out Golden Goose: Luxury Eggs for the Discerning Shopper and picked up Basic Range.

  Coming out of the supermarket she turned right and walked on. It took her a second to realize she’d taken the wrong road. The sign read WOOD STREET, and it looked like this road ran parallel to the high street. She was about to turn back when, from an open window ahead, came the sound of singing. Whoever it was could really sing.

  Curious, Charlie stepped towards the noise. Before her stood a castle. She looked closer. No, it wasn’t a real castle. Someone had just added stone turrets to the roof. There was a big iron gate and a sign that read CASTLE HOUSE.

  Something touched her leg. Charlie jumped and dropped the eggs, which smashed on the ground. She looked down, and immediately felt stupid. A small black cat glared up at her, stepped gingerly over the mess of eggs and sticky cardboard, and walked off. Charlie bent down to see if any of the eggs could be saved.

  “Oh my goodness!” came a soft voice from the open window above her. “Wait there!”

  Charlie looked up but the speaker had gone in a swish of blonde hair.

  Moments later the front door opened and a girl came rushing out. The sun was in Charlie’s eyes, so the first thing she saw was the shiny outline of a person with a halo of sparkle around her head. She looked like a princess.

  “I am sooo sorry! Naughty Boots!” The princess shook a finger at the cat’s retreating tail. Then she reached out and gave Charlie a box of Golden Goose eggs. “Please, take these!” she said earnestly.

  “No, n-n-no,” Charlie stammered.

  “Please!” the princess repeated and she held the carton out insistently.

  “Th-th-thanks,” Charlie answered, her fingers fumbling to take the box. She couldn’t stop staring at the girl. There was something completely mesmerizing about her. Her hair was all swooshy and shiny, like in a shampoo ad, and her bright blue eyes were sparkling in the sunlight. She smiled at Charlie warmly.

  “I’m Suzy.” She held out her hand delicately for Charlie to shake. As their fingers touched Charlie felt the buzzing run through her body, like a low-level electric shock. She jumped back, holding tightly on to the eggs so she didn’t drop another carton. The second she moved away, the feeling stopped.

  Suzy didn’t blink. It was like she hadn’t noticed anything strange. She smiled again and gave a little wave. “Nice to meet you!” she sang, and then pivoted on the tips of her shoes, picked up the cat, and danced back into the castle.

  “That definitely counts as number 10,” Charlie muttered to herself.

  Number 11 came later that evening. Charlie was searching for her pencil case. It was supposed to be in one of the boxes marked CHARLIE’S STUFF, but instead it seemed to have vanished into thin air. She turned a small packing box upside down, emptied it into the bottom of her wardrobe, and sifted through. Nope. But, ah – there were her PE trainers. Good.

  The doorbell went.

  “Someone get that!” Mum called. “I’m reading Annie a story.”

  “I’m in the bath!” Dad yelled.

  “I’m still studying!” Matt shouted. (Another lie.)

  Charlie stomped downstairs and opened the front door. On the doorstep was an old lady dressed in bright orange, with an orange hat, orange hair, an orange dress and orange shoes.

  “Would you like to buy some dishcloths?” she asked in a gravelly voice.

  Charlie put her hand to her throat in sympathy, then quickly took it back in case the woman thought she was making fun of her. “Er, no, th-thanks,” she answered.

  “Really?” the lady pressed. “Everyone buys dishcloths from me. They say mine are the best in the land.”

  “The b-best in the land?” Charlie repeated.

  “Oh, yes.”

  “Um, thanks but I th-think we’re fine.”

  The lady’s eyes narrowed. “You might regret it,” she croaked.

  “What do you m-mean?” Charlie asked nervously.

  “Well, it’s two for one today.” The lady gave a broad smile. “I’ll come and see you next month. Perhaps you might need dishcloths then? Yes?”

  “Um… OK.” Charlie closed the door.

  Yep. Number 11 on the Strange Things list. Charlie grimaced. Or … maybe it’s me that’s the strange one. No one else had noticed anything odd. She sighed. I’m just nervous about the new school, that’s all. Once tomorrow is over, then everything will feel much better. She made her way back up the tiny stairs, taking extra care not to touch the old stone wall on the way.

  “Charlie! Up! Up now! We overslept!” Mum was in a panic, running down the corridor and into Annie’s room to get her dressed.

  “Urgh,” Charlie mumbled. Her head was thick and woolly, and she felt like she’d only just got to sleep.

  Then, all at once, her brain kicked into gear and she jumped up. New school. Her stomach dropped and she began to dress as quickly as she could, her hands shaking and fumbling over the shirt buttons.

  Charlie could hear Mum shouting at Matt to get up too as she hopped back past the doorway, pulling her nurse’s uniform over her head. Attached to her hip was a wriggling Annie, yelling, “Down! Down! Want get down!”

  Charlie made her way to the kitchen. She picked her way across a stack of table legs and sat on a box marked OVEN.

  As Mum continued to yell upstairs, Dad clambered over the table legs towards Charlie. He took a long look around the kitchen. “This is a biiig project,” he said slowly. He bit his bottom lip and sighed through his teeth.

  Charlie looked at him in sympathy as she nibbled a piece of bread.

  Dad patted his new library book: Restoring Your 17th Century Home. “I guess it’s lucky I haven’t got a job to do as well,” he said with a wry grin.

  Since he’d been made redundant six months ago, Dad had gone for interview after interview, trying to find a new job. But no one wanted to hire him. Apparently he was too good, so that made him too expensive. It didn’t really make sense to Charlie. All she knew was that heavy feeling at the base of her tummy when he came home from yet another failed interview.

  Now he was running his hands through his curly hair, working out the distance from one wall to the other. Charlie felt a rush of affection. “The k-k—” she started to say, but to her surprise she got stuck on the “K” and the “kitchen” wouldn’t come out. She shook her head, hurrying to change her sentence before Dad noticed and started fussing. Quickly she said, “It’s going to be lovely.”

  Too late. Dad had raised his eyebrows. “You OK, love?” he said.

  Charlie nodded.

  “Ah. School’s going to be fine. Don’t worry so much!” He grinned and ru
ffled her hair.

  Charlie smiled weakly. Inside her stomach was churning. Was her stutter worse today? While Dad’s back was turned she practised “k, k, k, k” under her breath.

  Matt was the next to climb through the obstacle course. “Morning!” He jumped over the table legs and scooped up the peanut butter jar, flicking it from hand to hand. “Hey, Charlie! Here’s to our first day!” he said, saluting her with the jar.

  “Nervous?” Charlie asked.

  “Nah. We’ll be fine.”

  Charlie screwed up her face. Yeah right.

  On the drive to school Charlie looked out of the window and tried to get her bearings. Mum would be dropping them off every morning, but in the afternoons, Charlie would have to walk home on her own.

  “Here we are!” sang Mum. Charlie felt her tummy collapse as she pulled open the car door. “Good luck! Smile! Be nice! See you later!” Mum waved as she sped off to take Annie to nursery.

  Charlie turned to Matt, but he’d gone, rushing straight for the school office as if he couldn’t wait to meet a whole load of new people. She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and began to walk down the gravel driveway, closing her fists tight and trying to concentrate on looking normal.

  Two seconds later, she’d tripped over her shoelace and landed on her knees in a puddle.

  There was a snigger, and Charlie looked up to see a group of boys laughing. Red-faced, she scrambled to her feet and gathered the contents of her school bag as quickly as she could.

  “Oh!” came a soft voice, and there was a patter of footsteps as someone rushed to help her.

  Charlie turned and blushed even more. It was Suzy, the princess from yesterday. She bounced towards Charlie, her pretty face creased in a delicate frown.

  “Poor you!” She crouched down, swiftly gathered Charlie’s belongings into a neat pile and brushed off the dust. This time Charlie was careful not to touch Suzy’s hands as she took her books back.

  Suzy gave a beautiful smile. “See you!” she said, and she danced on into school.

  “Th-thanks,” Charlie mumbled to her retreating back.

  She pulled herself up and tried to hold her head high as she continued down the path, past the boys, and through the front door into Broomwood School.