by Brown, Tara
I narrowed my gaze. “And what would that be?”
His smile grew evil. “Get the ring open and see.”
I groaned.
If I didn’t take selfies my friends wouldn’t even know what I look like.
Chapter Eleven
I’m Thank and FULL
November—lucky I love fall
Ten things I was grateful for when Thanksgiving hit:
I got new Lulus in the mail the day before Thanksgiving.
I had a boy who kissed me every single second of the day and never asked for anything.
I was pretty sure I was going to lose my V any minute, and I could easily say I loved the person I would lose it to.
I had almost straight A’s, even if it was totes thanks to the boy kissing me and his strict schooling regime. He was like a British dictator.
Hattie had flown in for the holiday and was staying at the house.
Sheila HATED Hattie.
Hattie couldn’t give a shit about it.
Jess was dating Aaron and he was sweet to her in a way I had never seen before.
Linna and I were in therapy.
Oh snap, I almost forgot. I was in LOVE. I knew it, but hadn’t said it. Neither had he. He kept torturing me about the ring, but I hadn’t found a way to open it.
“HA! I found it!” Jess came running into my room and dove onto the bed. She flashed her iPad at me, showing me my antique ring.
“Hey, that’s my ring.”
She pressed her lips into a thin line. “Dude, I am so sorry to have to tell you this.”
I swallowed hard. “It’s stolen?”
She laughed. “No! What? You are so crazy. No, it’s way worse than that.”
I gasped, but she cut off my dramatics. “It’s a ring from his family. He had to have put it in that antique shop. It’s worth like half a million dollars but is considered priceless, really. It belonged to the Tudor family, if you can believe it.”
“What?” I gagged a little bit. “That show with Jonathan Rhys Meyers? With Marie Antoinette?”
Jess laughed again. “Yes and no, dumbass. It’s the one with Jonathan Rhys Meyers, but Marie Antoinette wasn’t in it. It was Anne Boleyn. Good God.”
“Whatever. You mean this friggin’ ring is some royal jewelry that queens have worn?”
“Not exactly.” She reached forward, did some twisting thingy, and it snapped open. “It’s a special way of opening it. Henry Tudor used it to meet with his women.” She gushed. “Aww, look.”
I lifted my finger and smiled. In the gold he’d had someone engrave:
Every beat of my heart is for you, my Fin.
“Oh my God. What? Seriously. He had the ring brought to the friggin’ store and engraved for me? This piece of priceless jewelry has a secret message in it for me?”
She gave me the cheesiest grin ever. “He loves you.”
“I know that. He doesn’t say it, but I totes know it. I can’t keep this ring, dude.”
She nodded. “I agree, but he’s gone and personalized it. I mean, that sort of means you have to.” She made a funny face, wrinkling up her nose. “Would it kill you to keep a ring a king of England used to smuggle whores into his room?”
“No. I guess not. I mean, it’s kinda gross when you think about it though.” I thought about her sentence. “Wait.” My face got red and my heart started pounding.
Her eyes widened. “Oh—uhhh, I’m sure that’s not why he gave it to you.”
My lower lip started to stick out a little as I thought about it. He had done exactly what the king had done. He had given me the whore ring, and even worse—he had written my name on it. That didn’t feel so good. “He’s here hiding in Washington, pretending to be studying the daily life of Americans, but really he’s here having a secret affair with me.”
Jess’ face got still and her words quiet, “And he gave you the whore ring.”
I peered down on it, feeling sicker by the second. I pulled it off and placed it on the bed. Just seeing it made me feel dirty. “At least I haven’t had sex with him yet.”
She nudged me. “It’s cool, Fin. It doesn’t matter if you did. You aren’t a whore.”
“I didn’t. I’m a virgin. I was going to give it to him this weekend, after Thanksgiving.”
She sighed. “Wow, I don’t know which is bigger for me—the fact he’s acting kinda scummy or that you’re a virgin.”
“I know, right?”
“I thought that was a lie you made up so guys would want you.”
“That stings, Jess. But it’s fair.” I stared at the ring but didn’t argue her point. It was legit and for sure something I would actually do. I sort of almost wished I had done it so that I wasn’t a virgin with a whore’s ring.
Jess picked up the ring. “Why don’t I just put it somewhere safe until you can confront him?” She carried it to the closet and placed it in with my other costume jewelry.
I didn’t know what to say or do or how to respond. It was Thanksgiving and Hattie was here in the house and Aiden was coming for dinner. I looked at Jess. “WWBWD?”
She cocked an eyebrow.
“What would Blair Waldorf do?”
Her eyebrow never lowered. “I don’t know who that is.”
“Gossip Girl. Essentially, a cross between Jacqueline Kennedy and Audrey Hepburn but mixed with your mom.”
She smiled wickedly. “Dress stunning, act like a lady, do not spill the beans or humiliate anyone publicly, and privately dump his sorry ass if the ring turns out to be meant for whores.” She pulled a beautiful black dress from my closet. It still had the tag on. It was exactly what I needed.
I dressed, sensing a horrid mix of disbelief and sadness. I defended him to the death in my mind, and the mature side of me figured I should just ask him. But my wounded pride and fear that he would confirm I was a king’s whore and nothing else, kept me from asking.
I wanted to flirt with Aaron in front of him. I wanted to make him jealous, but the mature side of me said there would be an innocent victim in it all—Jess. She liked Aaron a lot, and I would walk through fire before I would hurt her. She and Hattie were my only actual family in the whole world, besides my father, but who wanted him on their team?
I drew my lips on perfectly and filled them in with a matte. I put plumping lip gloss over that and a dab of Pout Perfecter in the middle of my bottom lip. I added my last coat of mascara and stepped back. It was perfect. I looked like the old me, pre-Aiden me. I was almost sad to see that girl in the mirror. I didn't like her anymore. I reached into my bra and pulled my boobs into a better placing for cleavage.
He was going to regret considering me a whore, even if I was dressed like one. Which of course made me regret dressing like one.
God, I was a hot mess. I didn't have an identity anymore.
I heard the doorbell ring and took one last look. I was about to back out of the whole thing, afraid he liked me for real and the whore’s ring was a mistake or something he wasn't even aware of.
Yeah, that was likely it.
I mean it took Jess, a complete computer geek, two months to track down the origin of the ring. Maybe he didn't know about it. He was almost always sweet when he wasn't trying to control things. He had gone above and beyond for me repeatedly. He hadn’t really given me a reason to doubt him at all.
I needed to shut old Finley down and let new Finley, mature Finley, make the decisions.
My door opened and, where I expected Jess, there stood Aiden. He was handsome. His hair was getting a bit shaggy again and he wore a simple pair of cords and a dress shirt. It was dressed down for him. I hadn’t even seen jeans on him since summer.
“You look beautiful.”
“Thanks.” I swallowed away my chickenshit fears and just said it, “We looked up the ring you gave me, the locket ring. We found the answer for opening it.”
His eyes widened. “Then you have seen the message?”
“I have. But the thing about it that has me curious is the int
eresting background it has.”
He nodded. “I’d say. It’s been in my family for hundreds of years. I would imagine it has graced the hand of every woman in my family since the sixteenth century.”
I had to process his statement for a second before I held up a hand. “You don't know the history of the ring?”
“Of course, I checked it out. It isn’t haunted. It’s part of hundreds of pieces that belong to my family. I asked Jack for a ring I could hide a message in. He told me he had that one at his estate on display. I went and got it and arranged a cleaning and the engraving. Why? Why do you look so weird? I assumed, perhaps wrongly, that the engraving would make you happy.”
“You researched it?”
“I checked for family members who might have haunted it. Jack said no one.”
I walked to my bed and sat down. “It was a ring used to make dates with whores and something Jess called a consort. It was something used to get King Henry laid.”
His face paled. “And you assumed what?”
“Well, you don't want anyone to know about us, and I can’t help but wonder if I am like—a mistress instead of a girlfriend. Like this is something your family does.”
He opened his mouth, but the look in his eyes said everything I needed to hear. He was disgusted with me. He swallowed. “My family knows about you, you are not my consort, and I am not a king.”
“I’m sorry.” I was suddenly ashamed of myself. He didn't move and neither did I. “But you don't want me to tell anyone who you are.”
“Why do you need to? Why does it matter who I am?”
“Do your parents disapprove of me?”
He didn't say anything. I sat, staring at his feet until suddenly they were gone. I heard the front door close, and it was like I was dreaming. There was no way he had just left me there with a question that massive floating in the air.
How could he?
Why didn't he say his parents didn't care that I was some American chick?
I wondered if this was how the girls who wore the ring before me all felt. It was a sisterhood of bad feelings and shameful self-hatred.
I never imagined, in all my years, that a prince would be so hard to love. Disney movies really did make it seem like it was all songs and dancing. There was always the kiss at the end, but it seemed I wasn't going to have any of that.
I sat there until Hattie came up the stairs with two plates of food. She didn't knock, she just strolled in and handed me mine. “Why is your room so clean? Did you save all your messy habits for my house?”
Jess followed her in and they sat on the floor with their plates of dinner. I glanced at them both. “What are you doing?”
Hattie shrugged and gazed around. “Eating Thanksgiving dinner in a room where I feel like I can focus on my things to be grateful for. What are you doing?”
I picked up the plate and laughed. “The same I guess.” I took a bite of turkey and sighed.
Hattie made a face. “She ordered this dinner, didn't she?”
Jess snorted. “The caterers probably snuck out the back.”
“That's awful. Does she ever cook holiday meals?”
“No, she’s not domesticated.”
Hattie laughed. “I’m sorry, I must have misheard that.”
Jess ate a green bean and smiled. “She told us that was why she never cooked or cleaned; she wasn’t as domesticated as our friends’ mothers.”
Hattie put down her fork. “That is the most disturbing thing I have ever heard. Every woman, every self-respecting woman, should have one meal they use for holidays. It can be duck, goose, ham, roast, turkey—anything. It is important for your family to have traditions. Not all women are as blessed as I am in the kitchen, but one meal isn’t too much to ask for.”
I ate my green beans and tried not to cry.
Hattie poked me with her fork. “I did notice Aiden leaving. Everything all right there?”
“No, I don’t think so. He’s all royal and I’m all, not. I’m like a booty call for potential kings at this point. It’s getting embarrassing.”
Hattie nodded. “It’s what you make it. If you look at it all and say, ‘I dated a prince,’ and leave it at that, it’s a cool story. You can’t expect more. It shouldn't matter how it ends. You just have to be real about the fact it will end. He is a nice boy and you are, a girl.” She winked at me. “But his family would never approve of him publicly dating you. There is nothing you can do about that. It’s sad, but you are young, your heart is strong, and what hurts today will not in six months.”
I didn't know I was crying until Jess took my plate. Hattie gave me a slap on the leg. “You’ll be fine, but if you’re not, you can always come and live with me and Peaches. She misses you something fierce.”
I snorted and wiped my face.
Girls everywhere want to know . . . why is the hottest guy always a gay guy?
Chapter Twelve
Lo-Lo-Lo-Love Me Tender
December—Merry hohohoho to you—suck it
I felt lost for a week, maybe two. I couldn’t be sure how long it was. Everything was a blur. I did my schoolwork and came home. I hid in my room and avoided life.
Okay, I have to confess, I started playing World of Warcraft again. Watching my character run through the jungle and kill things or fight battles made me feel like my life wasn't so bad. I could be living in a jungle, wearing ugly robes, and have a bone through my nose. I could be fighting for every meal.
If anything, the game was healthy for perspective.
A knock at the door interrupted my battleground. “Yeah?” I asked but didn’t take my eyes from the screen.
I heard the door open and the awkward silence meant it wasn’t Jess, the only person who actually came to see me. I caught a glimpse of a stunned face and turned to see Linna. I focused back on the game. “Hey.”
She walked across the room, dodging clothes and shoes and books. “Uhh, wow. Are you okay? ‘Cause damn, dude. This room is nasty.” Her voice was funny. “It stinks in here.”
I scanned the room and pointed at the boxes in the corner. “Probably the pizza.”
“You know what, Fin? This has to end. It’s five in the morning—have you even slept yet?” I heard her say it, but I never imagined she was about to do what she did. Her hand came down and pushed the off button on the screen.
I froze.
In my head, I was about to make my next move and kill the little twink rogue on the other team. “Oh my God. What did you do? My team needs me.”
She took the laptop and flashed the light from her cell phone in my eyes. “Okay, this is happening. You’re leaving this room.”
“No.” I squinted and backed away from the light, hissing and blinking. “Get out.”
“No way, poopsock. Let’s go. You’re hitting the showers.” She dragged me from the bed.
Jessica was in the doorway. I knew she had betrayed my secret. Her eyes lowered. “I had to. You were taking it to a dark place. You have an addictive personality.”
I hissed and staggered into the bathroom.
Linna shook me a little. “LOOK!” She shoved me toward the mirror.
I took a good look. I was getting a little chunky around the midsection and I had a dubs under my chin. My brown hair was greasy and there were little pimples starting to sprout up between my eyes and on my chin. I swallowed hard, stepping back. “What—what day is it?” Had I gone to school? When was the last shower I took? I felt like I was a coma patient just waking up.
“It’s the last day of school. You skipped yesterday.” She tugged on my sweater, actually taking it off my body. I stood there half naked and didn’t even care. She winced. “You stink and you look like shit and your room is hella bad. This is brutal.” She turned and stomped out.
Jess came in and smiled sweetly. They were doing good cop/bad cop. She started the water. “No boy is worth this, not even a prince.” She turned and left the room.
I could hear her and Linna clean
ing up the mess. How had my dad not even noticed I had gotten this low?
Jesus. It was like he wasn’t even here.
I stripped and stepped into the hot steam shower. The jets on the sides blasted me with steam and the rain showerhead dumped water on my head.
I closed my eyes and I all could see was Aiden’s face.
It had been two weeks and I hadn’t heard a word. Not a sound. Not a thing. He was gone from school the next day. No matter where I went, people asked me where the new guy was. I actually started hating the words “new” and “guy.” I slid down the back wall and sat in the pouring water. My hands scooped around my legs that now had dark hair growing on them like I was some kind of animal.
“Ahhhhhhh.”
Jess was in the bathroom instantly. I could see her through the glass door. “You okay?”
“No, but I will be.”
“If you need us, we’ll just be right here.” She turned and went back out. I stood up and grabbed my razor. It was time to fix the situation.
It took a while. A long while. But after a couple of hours, I looked human again. Every part of my body was red from shaving, waxing, plucking, and loofahing. I was moisturized and dressed in my spare school uniform and ready to go to school on time. Jess brought me an espresso and Linna hauled out the last of the garbage.
I looked at myself and winced. “I need to go on a little diet. Look at my muffin!”
There was a small roll over the top of my skirt. Jess bagged my blouse a little and shrugged. “Your boobs are bigger.”
I cupped one of them. “They are bigger.”
“See, stick skinny isn’t always better.”
I rolled my eyes. She was a fine one to talk. She had always been a stick, regardless of playing games nonstop and eating crap.
She surveyed the room. “Well, it’s back to normal and you look human again.”
I smiled. “Thanks.”
She replied, “Anytime. You did the same thing for me. You just didn’t know you were doing it.”
Glancing about, I scowled. “Did you find my phone, in the rubble?”
