Placing his hand on top of hers, he asked, “What’s wrong, Hi?”
Looking down at her watch for a distraction, she realized she still had to go through the security checkpoint. It was time to leave. Leave not just the restaurant, but Raiden. The love she didn’t want to give up. But sacrificing their relationship was a better alternative than Raiden realizing how dysfunctional her body was.
Or so she assumed.
“I have to leave, but I need to tell you something.” Rushing her words was the only way she knew she could get out of there in one piece. She was being selfish and didn’t care at the moment. He would thank her for this one day. “I’m sorry to do this now, but I have no choice. I read your letter this morning and it was…unexpected. You want things that I cannot give you…”
He removed his hand from hers as tears fell from her eyes. Sitting back in his seat, she knew her words had stunned him into silence. His eyes went from gazing to glaring. Turning from pensive to brooding.
“I–I think it’s best if we end this now.” Screaming was all Hitomi wanted to do, but she had to get this out. There was no way she could go to Japan, knowing he would be waiting for her. She was unable to give him what he wanted. A family. And right now the look in Raiden’s eyes was scaring the hell out of her. Thank goodness she was in a public place. “I love you with all of my heart, but there is no use in you waiting, wasting time with me looking for something I can’t give you.”
“What’s that?” His words were harsh and he had all but growled them out at her.
She couldn’t miss the anger in his voice. He was pissed off. She watched as his knuckles, tightly clenched, turned white. She knew at that precise moment Raiden was fighting for control. Hitomi stood and gathered her things. At first, she wasn’t going to answer him. But then she wasn’t going for Bitch of the Year. “A family,” she whispered as she quickly brushed his cheek.
* * * *
Raiden was starting to think he was cursed. Everywhere he turned—in his home, office, car, Kimi, there was something that reminded him of her. It had been five days since the day Hitomi left him sitting in the airport restaurant to pick up the pieces of his heart, his life, his future with her. Saying her name hurt—hurt his heart, mind, body, cock.
It had been five days of going through the motions at work as he replayed those fucked-up events over and over in his head, trying to figure out where things went wrong. He had come up empty at every attempt at a solution. She was due back tomorrow, and Raiden still craved to see her. She had to be out of her mind to think his feelings would simply die. That sure as hell wasn’t going to happen. He had questions that needed to be answered. He had no clue what the hell had happened or what Hitomi was talking about. That cryptic conversation had driven him nuts every time he thought about it.
Instead he focused a little too much on Kimi and eventually started irritating her. He didn’t realize Hitomi had already purchased the things Kimi needed for her upcoming recital. He should have known Kimi could see right through his attempts at father-daughter bonding. Raiden never had to “try” and spend time with her. He had apparently driven Kimi so crazy that she had asked if she could spend time at Soledad’s house. Apologizing over and over, Raiden reluctantly obliged. Sadly, he was beginning to irritate himself.
Today, Raiden felt it was time to irritate his best friend instead. Cage. Admitting he needed help in this portion of his life wasn’t something he willingly shared with others. Pride was not something Raiden cared to battle with, not today. He wanted the love of his life back and someone to help him do it.
* * * *
Looking up from his computer, Cage’s mouth dropped open. Raiden knew he looked like a walking disaster, but the way his friend’s eyes softened only made him feel worse.
“Now Soledad’s phone call becomes clear. She told me Kimi was staying a few days with her and that you looked a mess.” Cage grinned. “What the hell happened to you, man? Damn, she’s only been gone…what, five days? And what’s with the shades?”
He still had a little pride left. Raiden knew bursting out in tears would make him look like a big girl. Instead, he took a seat in front of Cage’s desk and sighed deeply and loudly. Yes, pouting was way better. Talking about this wasn’t going to come easy for him. It was obvious Cage thought he was missing Hitomi because she had gone out of the country, but his friend had no clue.
He took off the shades and laid them on the small table beside him. “She dumped me, Cage. She dumped me before she got on the fucking plane.”
Cage groaned as he rose from his chair, closed his door, and grabbed the seat beside Raiden. Raiden saw the realization hit him. “So that’s why Kimi has been staying at my sister’s house. Does Kimi know?”
He shook his head and mumbled, “No.”
“Hell, Raiden, why didn’t you talk to me sooner? I would not expect any normal person to handle a breakup well, but shit, you let her in, in your circle, your heart, your family, and she dumps you at the airport. You want to tell me what happened?” Cage was biting the inside of his cheek. Raiden knew he only did that when his anger was boiling over and he was trying to reel it back in. When he began tapping his foot, Raiden sighed. He knew the foot tapping by Cage meant he was trying to remain silent. They had always been like that with each other. If one hurt, so did the other.
Raiden sat in the chair, staring at the floor for a few minutes, just trying to gather the words to replay the events of the devastating morning at the airport. After sharing what had happened, Cage looked as lost and stunned as Raiden had been.
“Damn, Raiden, I don’t understand. Let me get this straight. Dinner the night before went well?”
“Yes.”
“The wee early-morning lovemaking and spooning time went well?”
“Yes.”
“You slipped a letter into her purse and eventually met up with her at the airport, correct?”
“Yes.”
“The fucked-up breakfast breakup where she stated she doesn’t want kids is where it all went downhill, right?”
“What the hell, Cage! Make your damn point already.” He couldn’t help the outburst considering he came to his friend for help in the first place. But Cage was only pissing him off more.
Cage forged on as if Raiden had not even spoken. “Look, dumbass, think about it. The two of you are the sappiest couple I’ve ever laid eyes on. I haven’t seen you this goofy in a very long time. Something must have happened to her in the past. Your confession about a future with her has scared her off in a bad way. What really punches me in the gut is the fact that this is going to truly hurt Kimi.”
“Yeah.” Raiden placed his head in his hands and sighed. “I’m not ready to tell Kimi yet. She knows something is wrong with me but I haven’t told her anything. I guess it was a mistake bringing her around Kimi…”
“Don’t do that, man. You fell hard. There’s no crime in that. I just have one question for you. What do you want to do?”
Standing up, Raiden walked over to the window and gazed at the people on the street. He never once figured that his life would have spiraled out of control so fast. His voice was low, but he knew Cage could still hear him. “Claire was a great woman, Cage. She had to be to marry a man she knew wasn’t in love with her. I loved her as much as I could, but my heart had always belonged to Hitomi-fucking-Narcisse the moment I met her all those years ago and Claire always knew. Now after all the pain of losing Claire to cancer, raising a daughter alone, I had a second chance with the one woman who holds my heart in her hands and she crushed it.” Pushing his hands into his pockets, he turned and faced Cage. “I want her back. Even after this roller coaster she has put me on, I want her back. I refuse to let her run from her feelings again. You think I’m a glutton for punishment. Don’t you?”
Cage wore the biggest grin. “No, I don’t, you big crybaby. Shit, clean your face up. I don’t know if this will work, but I have an idea.” Standing, Cage walked over and slapped his be
st friend on the back. “I can think of only one person we know who may be able to shed some light on your shitty situation and possibly help get your woman back.”
Not ready to get his hopes up, Raiden asked one simple question. “Who?”
“Duran.”
* * * *
Raiden didn’t expect to hear from Hitomi when she had returned, but the realization of her not calling after her return was still difficult to swallow. He wondered how was it so easy for her to return home and go on with her life as if their relationship was a passing fancy. Determined not to let his wandering mind get the best of him, he finally gave Duran a call. There were no guarantees that he would get Hitomi back. If all else failed, maybe Duran could give him more insight to why Hitomi abruptly ended their relationship.
It had been two days since her return, and although he still had not heard from her, Raiden was in better spirits. Cage agreed to join him and Duran for dinner. It had been a while since all three of them had gotten together. He had no idea what to expect from this meeting, but he did have high hopes. Staying positive, Raiden knew things couldn’t possibly get worse.
Chapter 15
Things got way worse.
It was like a damn ambush. No, scratch that. It was an ambush. No wonder Duran insisted on having dinner at his house instead. When Raiden and Cage pulled into the driveway, there were two other cars already there. Duran answered the door with a smile that clearly didn’t meet his eyes. Over his shoulder, Raiden spotted two women. He expected to see smiles, laughter, and excitement. But as Raiden and Cage were escorted into the dining room, they saw melancholy, neutrality, and seriousness.
Fuck a duck, he was screwed.
“Natalia, Riva, this is Raiden Saga and Cage Lacoste.” They each took turns shaking hands with the women before taking their seats. “I hope you don’t mind, I invited the ladies here because all three of us are Hitomi’s closest friends. I went ahead and told them what you told me about the incidents leading up to the airport breakup.” Duran held his gaze with Raiden. This was serious shit and there was no use in pussyfooting around the issue.
“I went ahead and had dinner prepared.” Cage frowned at Duran. “Don’t worry, dick, I remembered what you like. Plus, it’s best to keep Raiden’s hands busy while we talk.”
“Aw hell,” Cage mumbled as he drank from his wine glass while he stole glances at Natalia, who was sitting next to him.
“Hence the two bottles of wine chilling on the side of the table. There’s more in the kitchen,” Natalia whispered to Cage. “All right, Duran, get to it. This damn near looks like an intervention so that means whatever you have to share is a lot worse than I originally thought.” Their plates were full and in front of them, but no one seemed hungry for food. The silence was driving him crazy.
“There are things we can’t share with you, Raiden, because of Hitomi. Things shared in confidence that not even her parents know about. But I do think we can clarify a few things,” said Riva. “I don’t have to be a fly on the wall to know she never shared any information about her marriage. Am I right?”
The stunned look on Raiden’s face must have said it all.
“She’s extremely closed-mouth about the topic and refuses to share it with anyone that asks. The bad part is we”—Natalia picked up the conversation next, pointing to herself, Riva and Duran—“already know what occurred, and she still won’t rehash any of it with us if we bring it up.” Taking a huge swallow of her wine, Natalia continued, “The only thing you need to focus on is the fact that your letter alone is what caused this.”
Anger swept him up so fast he wasn’t able to control it. Raiden jumped up from the table at the accusation. “What the hell kind of…”
“Sit down.” Riva’s voice was low and commanding.
Raiden wasn’t stupid. That was the voice of a dangerous woman. He slowly took his seat.
“It’s not like that, Raiden. Take a seat, man, and listen,” Duran said with an unusual calmness in his voice. After Raiden sat back down, Duran continued. “You struck a nerve with her. In your letter, you said you wanted a family or something to that effect, right?”
“Yes, but shit, I didn’t know that was a bad thing.”
“It’s not, Raiden. But you would not have known what topics were difficult for Hitomi to handle since she didn’t share certain facts with you,” Riva added.
“You guys are talking in circles. Would one of you simplify this shit for me? Please!”
“Let’s clean this up and take the wine into the sitting room,” Natalia said as she stood and picked up her plate as everyone followed suit.
Clearing the dishes was done in silence. Five wine glasses and three new bottles of wine were taken into the sitting room. Raiden and Cage shared the sofa as Riva claimed the oversized chair to their right and Duran sat on the arm of the chair. Natalia paced the floor slowly as she waited for everyone to pour their wine and get settled.
“I hate to say it but the shitty way Hitomi went about ending your relationship is clearly tearing you up. You made her happy. I hadn’t seen her genuinely happy in a very long time.”
Raiden was at a loss for words as he watched Natalia swallow the last of her wine and take a deep, long breath.
“She’s running, Raiden.”
“Yes, she’s running…again. Hitomi doesn’t believe she deserves total happiness, and she’s afraid that she can’t give you what you asked for in your letter.”
“I’m still lost.” He felt as if he would cry at any moment. Sure he was a man, a strong-willed man, a prideful man, but right now, in this house, he didn’t care who witnessed his weakness and heartache for this woman. He just wanted her back.
“You asked for a family, Raiden. Think about it. Without breaking my confidence to my best friend, you’re going to have to think long and hard and come to some conclusions on your own. To her, you and Kimi are enough.”
Cage quickly caught on and gave a small “Oh.” Raiden noticed Cage and Natalia exchange glances before his friend spoke again. “Damn.”
All eyes turned to Raiden, hoping he had caught on. Once he did, he looked into Cage’s knowing gaze before putting his head into his hands.
Clearing her throat, Natalia got back on track. “This is how I see it, Raiden. Hitomi messed things up with you big-time. She broke your heart. She didn’t share many personal and pertinent things of her past with you. We all could see the change in her and the effects you and that beautiful daughter of yours had on her.” Natalia paused and edged her glass toward Cage, who was pouring himself another glass of wine. After she took a few sips, she continued.
“We love her, Raiden.” Looking up finally, he caught the gazes of everyone looking at him, and he nodded with understanding. “But here’s the thing. Riva, Duran, and I have agreed that although your heart has been broken, there is no use in you walking around in pain. I guess you did not know she hasn’t returned from Japan like she was supposed to?”
“No.” He knew his shock was obvious, and that anger was in his eyes. This confirmed she was running now, running from her feelings. All she had to do was talk to him. He was not a difficult man to confront.
“Yeah, she is being a coward. Eventually she has to come home and face reality. But for now, she’s hiding out at her godparents’ house.” Drinking the rest of her wine up, she forged on. “I know it’s not my place, but if I were you, I would pull myself up by the bootstraps and get on with my life. Hitomi knows she screwed up the best thing that has ever happened to her. It will be up to her to come back here—come back to you and explain everything. It’s unfair to you and your daughter. We are here if you want to talk.”
The smacking of his tongue caused everyone to smirk then laugh. It broke the tension that had been floating around.
“No seriously, Raiden. You will see soon enough. Eventually you will want to know how she is and things like that. Just ask. I promise we will tell you. But don’t push Hitomi. What will hurt her most is not
being around you and Kimi. You two going on with your normal routine. It was unfair of her to take the choice out of your hands and decide everything on her own. It is up to Hitomi to grow the hell up and tell you what is going on and then let you decide what you want to do. But until then, take my advice, and I know it will be difficult.”
A low snicker caught Raiden and Cage’s attention. “Oh yeah, one more thing, Raiden. When you take her back…” Duran grinned when he saw Raiden’s reaction to the interrupted statement. “Man, who are you kidding? You’re among friends. Anyway…when you take her back”—a sneaky smile curved Duran’s lips as Riva pinched his thigh—“don’t give in right away. Make her suffer just a little bit. Show her how much of a bad girl she has been.” The room filled with laughter, but Raiden just smiled and let the wheels in his head start turning. As difficult as it was for him to hear these things from Hitomi’s closest friends, he knew they were right. It didn’t mean it would be easy for him.
* * * *
Japan
“What are you running from, beautiful eyes?” Sam, Hitomi’s godfather asked as they stood near the koi pond in his yard.
“I don’t know what you mean, Sam.” She knew she hadn’t fooled anybody with the bloodshot eyes she’d donned since landing in Japan.
Letting out a belly laugh, Sam squeezed her shoulder and pulled her to his side. “You can’t bullshit a bullshitter, Hitomi. I know when you’re lying. Do I need to remind you that you were supposed to leave four days ago? So I will ask again, what are you running from?”
Alexander, Kortny - Love, Interrupted (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 13
