Hitomi was silent for a long time before she began to talk—to explain. She told Sam everything about the breakup with Raiden and the events that led up to it. Hitomi had even shared the odd dreams she’d had. She had not shared this with anyone. When she was done, she and Sam were seated on a nearby bench, and Hitomi was wiping her tears once again.
Taking it all in, Sam took a deep breath and looked up at the sky and then at the koi pond a few feet away. “Do you love him?”
“Yes, with all of my heart. I love him.” She felt her heart skip a beat when she thought of Raiden.
“I know you love that sweet little girl. Am I correct?”
“Oh yes, definitely.” Her heart skipped a beat at the happiness Kimi brought.
“So what’s the problem, Hitomi?” Quickly putting his hand up to stop any debate, he gave her a tsk-tsk. “Sweetheart, angels come to us in dreams all the time. You’re not paying attention.” He laughed aloud as Hitomi stared at him. She loved the wisdom he often shared, but at the moment she was confused. “You young children still haven’t learned. I’m a spiritual person, Hitomi. Your angel has shown you the possibilities, what can happen if you allow love to enter your life. Sometimes, beautiful eyes, sometimes things are not meant to be at the particular moment we may want them to happen. And then sometimes, Hitomi”—he lifted her chin and stared directly into her eyes—“just sometimes we are lucky enough to have an angel in our dreams telling us when the time is right. And apparently, the time is right. Don’t be so quick to dismiss your dreams when they are so clear.”
Standing up from the bench, he helped Hitomi to her feet as well. “Now listen up. You’re going back home.”
“But…” She quickly slapped her mouth shut when Sam gave her a stern look. She was thoroughly acquainted with “the look.” That look could mean a thousand and one things, and as a child she was afraid to ask what a particular “look” meant. Now as an adult she still knew when to shut her mouth when “the look” was thrown her way. “You need to handle this correctly, Hitomi. Whether you choose to patch things up with this man or not, he deserves a clear and honest explanation. Cut the cryptic crap out. Understand?” She nodded her head yes, and he continued on. “What you did was horribly wrong and heartless. I wasn’t there to witness what you did, but I can guarantee you’ve wounded this man’s heart. And I would hate to see what his little girl is going through.”
Sam was correct. She had been heartless. How could she have forgotten about Kimi? The tears began to fall uncontrollably. “Oh my goodness, I didn’t think about that at all. I never meant to hurt either of them,” she proclaimed through her sobs. Attacking Sam with a bear hug, she thought she was going to be sick. “I have to fix this,” she mumbled into his chest.
“Oh you’re damn right, you’re going to fix this. My children do not behave in such a crass manner, Hitomi, and that includes you, too. You’re lucky your parents did not extend their visit.” They started back toward the house. “Now Aya is fixing dinner. Your last for this visit. You, my dear, are getting on my plane and going home to grovel for your man.” Tossing a sidelong glance in her direction, he gave a small chuckle when he saw her sticking her chin out with a little too much pride and shock. He squeezed her shoulder. “Ah, beautiful eyes, don’t let your pride keep you from the one you obviously love. When will you learn that I’m smarter than you? You want him back, so you will grovel.”
Hitomi lowered her head as she walked with Sam in his side embrace. She knew she wanted Raiden back. Begging had never been her style, but after the crap she pulled, getting him back would be damn near impossible. If he talked to her. If he took her back.
Hitomi realized that Raiden may no longer want her in his and Kimi’s life. But as difficult as it was for her stomach that notion, she had to try. Raiden and Kimi were her family, or at least she wanted them to be, and she would fight to be back in their lives. She was on the next plane headed to the United States.
* * * *
The atmosphere was different as Hitomi stood beside the big oak tree and watched the three children on the playground. She still could not make out their faces, but she could tell that there were two small children—a boy and a girl—and one older girl. As usual, she was the only other person around. The sun began to shine brightly in her eyes just like it usually did when the faceless woman came to speak to her.
“What do you have to share with me this time?”
“Everything.”
“How so?”
“Look at the children, Hitomi. How is this different from the other dreams?”
Hitomi looked at the playground, watching the three children play…three children. There’s usually one child—one girl.
“The two smaller children are new. Why?”
“You have finally begun to really pay attention.” A soft laugh slipped past the woman’s lips. “For once, he listened.”
Confused, Hitomi stared at the woman. She had never been a chatterbox before. “Who listened?”
“Raiden.” When Hitomi gasped at his name, the sun no longer blinded her vision, and the woman’s face became visible.
“Claire?” she whispered.
“Yes, that would be me. You are a very difficult woman, Hitomi.”
“I–I don’t understand.”
“When you wake up, ask Raiden what was the last thing I said to him. Just know he finally listened to me, and now your future together can begin.”
“Okay. But I’m still lost.”
“Before I died, I was shown a lot of things, and I believed and did the best I could to prepare and steer my family in the right direction. Once I died, I was sent to guide you. And now, I am no longer needed. My daughter and Raiden are with the right person. Or will be soon enough.”
“Oookay. Who are the children?”
“Ah, I was wondering when you would ask that. Like I’ve tried telling you over and over, now the time is right.” Claire called the children over to them. The children came running toward them yelling “Mom,” “Mom.” But what surprised Hitomi was they ran past Claire and directly to her.
Hitomi’s eyes filled with tears, and she looked up at Claire. “Don’t do this to me.”
“You have to have faith, Hitomi. You are dreaming, talking to me, Claire, a dead woman…Clearly anything is possible. These are yours and Raiden’s children. An older Kimi and your two smaller children, twins, and if you would care to look down, there’s another one on the way.”
Hitomi’s eyes overflowed with hot tears of joy. When Kimi stepped closer, she could see how much she had grown into a teenager, coming into her own and beautiful as ever. When the twins stepped up to her, she laughed. The little girl looked like Hitomi. She had her dad’s and Kimi’s whiskey-colored eyes, black, soft, curly hair, and a beautiful golden complexion. The little boy was too handsome for words. He looked like Raiden with Hitomi’s translucent gray eyes and curly hair and complexion like his twin sister.
Turning her eyes back to Claire, Hitomi had to ask, “Is this really possible?”
A knowing smile appeared on Claire’s face. “Yes, it is possible. It’s already happening, Hitomi. It is time for me to leave you. Your husband is waiting for you. Everything is as it should be. Or will soon be.”
* * * *
Two days.
Hitomi had been back for two days, and she was cowering in her office, waiting for one of her friends to get on her case. So far nothing had happened. She had not heard from any of them. And Duran had resorted to talking to her via his assistant. He kept insisting he was too busy to stop by and talk. Even Heather wasn’t talking very much. Hitomi missed eating together the fruit salads Heather always had waiting for her, missed the small conversations about the twins and she even missed hearing about the sweet things her husband did for her.
“I really screwed it up,” Hitomi muttered to herself. An appointment reminder alert buzzed from her computer monitor. Hitomi stared at the screen as she performed a few clicks and realized Kimi’s big recit
al was tonight. “Damn. I don’t want to cause a scene.” Her heart broke at the thought of missing this very important recital. She and Kimi had stopped at several stores for the perfect red ensemble for the recital the Saturday before she left for Japan. Hitomi knew this was a really important event for Kimi, and she wasn’t sure how Kimi would feel about her showing up at the recital after breaking things off with Raiden.
Sliding open her bottom drawer, Hitomi pulled out a long, slender, lustrous onyx box and opened it. The inside was lined with black silk fabric that gently held the custom-made, glossy cherry-red chopsticks decorated with pink cherry blossoms. The wider ends of the chopsticks were encased in platinum with Kimi’s name engraved on them.
“What do you have there?”
Hitomi jumped, startled by Heather. She didn’t hear her step inside of her office. “These are chopsticks for your hair. I had ordered them for Kimi for her recital, which is tonight, by the way.” She stared at Heather a moment longer than necessary. Then a small smile spread across Hitomi’s face. “You sent that reminder, didn’t you?”
“Who, me?” Heather looked away for a sec, and then pointed to the chopsticks. “I don’t know what you are talking about. But…I figured you would want to sneak in and see her anyway.”
Hitomi was grateful for the conversation. She had been lonely as hell and welcomed any topic from Heather. Hitomi knew her friends were disappointed in her and how she handled things. But at least Heather was talking to her for the moment. Yet, how the hell was she supposed to slip in to see Kimi’s recital knowing Raiden and the Lacostes were going to be there?
“I know what you are thinking.” Heather sat in one of the chairs in front of Hitomi’s desk and continued, “Kimi still doesn’t know what happened. She just knows you have been out of town trying to handle some things.” Heather shook her head slightly. “Don’t go getting any ideas, Hitomi. I still know what you’re thinking. ‘He hasn’t told Kimi because he’s hoping…’ right?”
“Yes,” Hitomi answered, afraid to smile at the thought.
“Well, that’s what I’m thinking, too. But, that’s for you to dwell on later. Tonight, go backstage and hug your daughter, Hitomi.”
The gasp surprised Hitomi. Calling Kimi her daughter caused her to choke with hope. If only…
“She wants to be your daughter, and she misses you. I should know. Somehow that smart little girl got a hold of the office number and calls all the time. Just not today. Go backstage and hug her. Show her the beautiful gift you bought and place them in her hair. If possible, sit in the back, away from Raiden, and watch your daughter perform. Or at least tell her you will be in the back but won’t be able to stay afterward. Confront Raiden at another time, away from prying eyes and Kimi.”
Heather stood up and straightened her slacks. “I think I’m finished with this segment of ‘Dear Heather.’ I’m going to lunch if that’s okay with you.”
“Thank you, Heather.” Hitomi got out of seat and walked around to hug Heather. Lately she had become a running river of tears. They were always hanging right on the edge, ready to pounce at any sentimental thought or conversation. “Thank you so much for that. If only you had advice about my other friends. I would love some advice on how to fix that.”
“Ha! You’re not off the hook with me either. For now, just repair your heart, his heart, and your relationship. Put your family back together again. Now get it together, woman. I will see you after lunch.”
Walking over to the window, Hitomi realized she had a lot of repairing to do. One person at a time. This was going to be the most difficult thing she ever did. She knew, without a doubt, it would be a breeze with Kimi. Raiden, on the other hand, would be like one of those cowboy movies she used to watch as a kid. A damn showdown at noon. “Let’s just see Kimi first,” she said aloud.
Chapter 16
The Performing Arts Centre parking lot was filling up fast. The different performing arts studios got together to hold their recitals together on the same night. “Six thirty,” Hitomi repeated to herself as she sat in her car. The event started at seven, and Kimi’s group went on first. This would give Hitomi enough time to get backstage and wish Kimi luck. After getting out of the car, she started for the stage entrance. She didn’t know if she could handle running into Raiden or anyone else for that matter. She just wanted to see Kimi, hug her, wish her good luck, and probably dish out some lame-ass excuse for why she wouldn’t be around again.
It was almost ten minutes till showtime when Hitomi finally found Kimi among the chaos that was going on backstage. Raiden was safely seated when she last checked, so she decided to quickly wish Kimi luck.
“Hitomi!” Kimi could barely contain her excitement when she saw Hitomi approaching. The bear hug she gave nearly knocked the breath out of her.
“I’ve missed you, my little Kimi.” Hitomi broke their embrace to get a better look at Kimi’s bright red ensemble. She played the “Lady Bug Princess,” the main character in the ballet. “Your black and red wings look awesome!”
“Thanks. Dad put my hair in this bun and sprayed some glitter stuff on my hair and my face, so I would sparkle just like the gloss you bought me to wear tonight.”
“You look beautiful. Your dad did a great job.” She pulled out the lustrous onyx box. “I ordered these for you to wear for your recital…if you’d like.” She had Kimi’s full attention. When she opened the box, Kimi’s eyes shone so bright, Hitomi was glad her gift was received with such excitement. “What do you think? Do you want to wear them tonight?”
“Oh yes! Yes, yes. They are pretty and have my name on them. This is the coolest, Hi!” She hugged Hitomi hard. “Please put them in. They are calling for me.” Once the chopsticks were in her hair, Kimi took a quick glance in the mirror. “They are perfect. Thanks!” She hugged Hitomi and started to run and catch up with the group, but she stopped short and turned back. “Where are you sitting? With Daddy?”
Doing the best she could to hide the sadness that crept across her face, Hitomi answered, “No. I will be in the back. I have to leave once you’re finished. Now give me one more hug before you go.” She hated letting Kimi go. “You look perfect. Good luck, my sweet Kimi.”
Hitomi grabbed a seat on the back row just as the lights went out. From where she sat on the left side of the auditorium, she had a great view of the stage, as well as two huge projection screens and a view of Raiden. She would give anything to be sitting next to him and enjoying Kimi’s performance together. Some of their most passionate moments flew through her mind as the music started. She missed him, missed his touch, his lips on her, his warm flesh on hers as they moved together.
Get it together, girl! You screwed up and now you’re walking around here looking like a freaking stalker. Develop some damn courage and get your man back.
Once Kimi came out, Hitomi managed to clear her thoughts and watch this developing ballerina. Kimi was getting better. She took ballet, like all of her activities, seriously. But Hitomi recognized the talent Kimi had lying just underneath the surface. She could go far with ballet if she stuck to it.
Raiden’s constant movement caught Hitomi’s attention. He leaned over in Cage’s direction. Cage leaned forward in his seat a bit before sitting back and nodding his head. Then Cage said something to the siblings sitting beside him, and they all seemed to shake their heads no. Raiden swiftly swung his head around as if he were in search of someone.
Shit! He saw the chopsticks. He knows I was backstage. He must have asked if one of Cage’s siblings gave them to Kimi.
Raiden gave up his search and turned around. Hitomi let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding in. As soon as Kimi’s recital ended, Hitomi hightailed it out of there. She wasn’t ready for a confrontation just yet.
* * * *
Hitomi figured it was now or never as she sat in yet another parking lot. Taking a few minutes before she stepped out of her car, she was a nervous mess, a walking disaster, and she prayed she didn’t
throw up before her meeting. After Kimi’s recital, Hitomi had decided to call her friends together for dinner, an apology, and any help they could muster. She wanted to be back in Raiden’s life and was terrified of how to accomplish that. It had taken lots of lasagna, French bread, and “I told you sos” before her friends forgave her and a plan was concocted. Once in agreement, her friends wished her well on her impending meeting today. Duran had made it clear that they could only point her in the right direction. The rest was up to her.
As she rode to the top floor, Hitomi could only pray that her plan didn’t backfire. A follow-up meeting with her risk management firm had been scheduled with Raiden. There had never been any specifics given as to who would represent her firm at the meeting. That left her the prime opportunity and maybe her only opportunity to see Raiden without the possibility of Kimi being present. She was his last appointment for the day. Everything was going to be okay.
When she walked into his office, there was no joy in his eyes. There was no smile on his face. There was no look of happiness. The ice-cold stare Raiden gave her sent chills up and down her body. Hitomi did not know whether to smile, sit, stand, speak, run, head for the hills, or cry. Her nerves were frazzled and she was on edge. She had to admit her friends only said they would get her in the door. The rest was left up to her. She had to get the love of her life back on her own. And from the cold stare he gave her, it was not going to be easy.
Everything was not going to be okay.
* * * *
“Have a seat, Hitomi. I’m sure this follow-up won’t take long. ” Raiden half expected her to show up at some point. He was positive she was at Kimi’s recital although the chopsticks were his only proof. He was still in love with her and just as pissed with her. Seeing her standing only a few feet away from him forced Raiden to control the anger that was starting to inch its way to the forefront.
Alexander, Kortny - Love, Interrupted (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 14
