I Carry Your Heart (Heart Series Book 1)

by C. M. King

  Joel took two quick strides, flinging himself onto my bed, so his body was pressed tight up against mine. “Did you tell him you have a boyfriend?” He brushed his thumb against my cheek, his warm, sweet breath tickling my face.

  “Why are you jealous?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. I bit my lip trying to conceal the smile creeping over my face.

  “Of course, no one gets to kiss those precious lips of yours but me.”

  A soft moan escaped from me, when his lips connected with mine. I voluntarily open my mouth, allowing his tongue all the access he needed. I groaned loudly in disapproval when he pulled away. I scowled and he chuckled at my face.

  “I have to go, Mike will be back soon.” He held my face in his hands, trying to soothe my agitated state.

  “I miss you already, we never have enough time together.” My voice was almost a whisper, the sadness inside beginning to build.

  “I think I may have a solution for that.” He grinned and my face instantly brightened.

  “What is it?” I asked, feeling hopeful. The constant interruptions were beginning to take their toll.

  He tapped his nose with his finger and blew me a kiss, disappearing out the door.

  Wow, he really was a tease.

  * * *

  Joel soon unveiled his plan, sneaking in my bedroom at night. It was all purely innocent, spending the whole night wrapped in his arms. It was our way of spending quality time together, without being discovered. Joel told me it was his favourite part of the day, when he got to hold me. His words nearly broke me. They held such an underlying sadness to a cruel and unloved home life, which made me truly honoured to be the one to love him whole-heartedly.

  He still had bad days, which he tried his best to conceal. But I saw the level of pain he kept hidden inside his eyes. He was starting to stay over more, which had a lot to do with our new sleeping arrangement. His craving for the love and affection he had long been starved of, was now being satisfied through me. I was only too happy to shower him with as much as he could handle.

  My breath hitched hearing the familiar creak. My eyes flicked up from my kindle, to the sight of Joel grinning in the doorway. I smiled watching him perform his usual routine, wedging a magazine tight under the door as a makeshift doorstop. To avoid any sudden attempts to enter without permission. After checking it was secure, he strolled over smiling, joining me under the covers.

  He pulled me tightly against him and our legs tangled together as his arms wrapped around me. We lay facing each other and I reached over to stroke his cheek. His eyes remained closed, concentrating on my touch.

  I leaned over gently placing a soft kiss on his lips, as his eyes fluttered open. “Bad day?” I whispered, preying he’d let me in and tell me what was wrong. He had been quiet at dinner and his silence hadn’t gone unnoticed by us all. We had chatted around him, filling the void, as he evaded any form of eye contact throughout the meal.

  “Not now I’m with you.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

  “Want to talk about it?” My eyes stared intently into his, willing him to speak, to open the floodgates and let me in.

  He rolled onto his back, letting out a loud sigh. “Just the usual, I’m a worthless piece of shit and he wishes I’d never been born. He said my Mother would be embarrassed if she was still alive today. He says the same thing all the time, but when he mentions her it hurts the most.” The sadness radiated off him, as he lay there, trapped in his own misery.

  My fingers guided his face back towards mine to kiss him. I drew back to look into his tortured eyes. “You Joel are the most caring, funny, sweet guy I know. Your Mother would be so proud of you, don’t believe your Dad’s cruel words, he is the worthless pieces of shit for not bothering to realise what a beautiful son he has.”

  I knew he needed more comfort, to get closer and feel the reassurance he wasn’t alone. My hands eased his head down onto my chest and I cradled him in my arms, wrapping my legs around him tight. I soothingly stroked his hair and we lay in complete silence, with just the sounds of our breathing filling the room.

  “This is my heaven being here with you Iz. I never want to lose you.” His sad words caused my heart to ache, the pain so intense and overwhelming I could barely breathe.

  I clutched him tighter, trying to convey with my body that I’d never let him go. “I’ll always be here for you Joel,” I whispered back. He nuzzled his face deeper into my chest and let out a small sigh, as I felt him slip under. While I lay wide-awake, staring into the darkness, heart broken for my poor lost soul.

  * * *

  The alarm went off early and we both groaned in unison. It was only six thirty but Joel had to make his swift exit, and return to his room before my Mother got up at seven.

  He pulled me into a tight embrace, nuzzling my ear. “Morning gorgeous,” he whispered. His voice already sending shivers down my spine.

  Gorgeous? Yeah right.

  I grimaced at his words; I looked anything but.

  He tickled me, trying to make me smile, but I shrieked in shock. Quickly slapping my hand over my mouth, glaring at Joel.

  “Sorry,” he murmured, pulling a face.

  I smacked his shoulder, which prompted his usual wounded puppy dog look. He knew my weakness and that look was my Achilles heel. I leaned over gently pecking him softly on the lips and he grinned, knowing he was forgiven. He rolled over on top of me and pushed me down into the mattress, kissing me fully. His tongue invaded my mouth and I groaned, feeling the full extent of his morning glory sticking into me.

  “I see someone’s up bright and early.” I grinded my hips against him, to emphasis my point.

  “Baby, you can’t expect me to sleep next to a beautiful girl and not be affected.” He chuckled, grinding it in to me to make his point.

  “So I turn you on in my kitten pyjamas?” I laughed at the very idea.

  “Oh yeah, too right,” he said, with a mischievous glint in his eye.

  He stroked his nose against mine and we gazed at each other smiling, but I was still concerned about his mood from the night before.

  “Joel, are you okay? You know after last night…”

  The smile slipped from his face. I’d obviously touched upon something he’d already wanted to forget. “Yeah, I’m good Iz, you make it better, you always do and now I want to return the favour.”

  I raised my eyebrows questioningly, but I soon got my answer. He slowly began rocking his hips against me, rubbing me in the right place. I gasped with delight and my legs spread wider, giving him more access.

  “You like that baby?” he whispered in a low husky voice.

  Oh god, did he really have to ask?

  “Yes.” Wow, even my voice sounded so needy.

  I was truly embarrassed.

  He began slowly kissing me, grinding into me. His hand grazed my breast and waited a few moments for me to react, to say no. He started to gently tweak my nipple, through the material of my pyjamas.

  The sensation alone has me gasping, my nipples grew harder in response to his touch. I felt him smile against my lips, but his tongue never lost the rhythm, that was perfectly matched with the grinding of his hips.

  I lost myself in his sweet, delicious torture, feeling my body begin to climb. “Oh god Joel I’m going to–” I gasped. The unfamiliar sensation filled my body, overwhelming me, taking me higher and pushing me towards my release.

  “Let it out baby, I want to hear you,” he whispered and grinded harder, giving me the extra friction I needed.

  Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

  My eyes rolled back, as pleasure swept over me. I groaned loudly when I came, Joel quickly covered my mouth, swallowing my moans. He slowed the grinding down, letting me enjoy the aftershocks and kissed me gently once more, before jumping out of bed.

  I sat up looking flushed and surprised, already missing his hot body. “Where are you going?”

  He chuckled and rubbed his hands over his face, looking slightly flus
hed himself. “I think I need a long cold shower after that.” He shot me a wink, grinning wildly, as he headed out the door.

  Chapter 11 – Secret’s Out

  Heaven.

  That would be the only word I’d use to describe waking up next to Joel each morning, to be greeted with the sight of this gorgeous man beside me. He always had the ability to brighten up my day. I left my bed each and every morning with a gigantic smile on my face.

  God he was good.

  Too good.

  Though he’d had plenty of practice, but I tried to pretend I was the only one he’d touched in that intimate way. He gave me orgasm after orgasm and my body became so in tuned with his touch. He turned me on so bad, sometimes with just a look. He smiled each time, watching me slowly come apart, losing all control in front of him. He knew how much I burned for him, how much I needed him, and that was the biggest turn on for him of all.

  Of course he was now thoroughly tending to all my needs, but the thing that intrigued me the most, was how he selflessly forgot his own. I think it was his way of telling me he’d changed. That he was no longer the sex hungry guy I’d known him to be. But I was not naive enough to know I had to reciprocate soon. There were only so many cold showers he could have, before it turned blue and dropped off.

  After one particular orgasm, which left me literally seeing stars. I decided this was the moment.

  It was now or never.

  I needed to make my move, to repay the pleasure he had so willingly given to me.

  Joel smiled as my hands slid seductively up his stomach, my nails grazed against his warm skin. He leaned in to kiss me but I shook my head smiling. I pushed his firm chest, rolling him over so he was now lying on his back. I quickly sat on top straddling him.

  “Iz, what are you doing?” he asked. A look of confusion flashed in his eyes. He was watching me intently, as his fingers caressed my hips, slowly hypnotising me with his touch.

  “Hmmm wait and see,” I breathed. A hint of a smile played on my lips, enjoying my little act of seductiveness, as I began to take full control.

  He moaned softly when I kissed him firmly on the lips, they quickly parted and my tongue willingly slipped inside, entwining with his. My hand torturously made its way down his body, only stopping to rest on the outside of his boxers. His eyes widened in surprise with the contact, before closing. I felt his heart beating rapidly against my chest.

  He leaned back into the pillow, groaning his approval, as my fingers stroked and worked their way along his length. “Oh god Iz, that feels so good, don’t stop.” His hips pushed more and more into my hand, as low moans of pleasure left his lips. His eyes were screwed tight in concentration, savouring every touch.

  I smiled at his reaction, reaching under the material, hesitating slightly before beginning to stroke his very large erection. He gasped loudly when my fingers made contact with the hard velvety skin. His breathing sped up and his hands grasped the pillow tight.

  “Do you like that baby?” I breathed in his ear and smiled, hearing his breath hitch at my words. His sole concentration was on my hand that was beginning to have the desired effect, in working him closer to an orgasm.

  “Yeah, oh god yeah,” he said breathlessly.

  It was so sexy watching him come undone, like he’d done to me so many times before. I wanted to give him even more pleasure, for him to feel the intense feeling inside, to hear him shout my name in pure ecstasy.

  I teasingly placed slow, soft kisses along his jaw, nibbling and working my way down. His Adam’s apple bobbed furiously, as he repeatedly swallowed and gasped for air, focusing on the intensity of his impending orgasm. I kissed it before swiping my tongue over it, feeling his low growl reverberate against my lips. I left to slowly kiss down his toned, hard body and heard him moan his approval.

  I took my time teasing and toying each nipple with my tongue. He gasped with delight when my teeth grazed and tugged each one. I ran my tongue along every single muscle and curve, stopping to dip it tantalisingly inside his bellybutton. Then kissed my way achingly slow down his man trail. I heard his breath hitch in anticipation, as my lips worked their way nearer. I smiled and paused before gently licking the head. He jerked in my hand and I stopped, waiting a few moments for him to recover before beginning again.

  He groaned loudly as I rolled my tongue teasingly along the head, while stroking the shaft. “Oh that feels so good, don’t stop, oh god don’t stop.” His hand rested on my head and his thumb stroked my cheek, as we moved together, slowly taking him deeper and deeper into my mouth.

  As we developed a natural rhythm, embarrassing flashback images began replaying in my head. It had happened one dinnertime at college with Elijah reading out ‘How to give the perfect blowjob’ article from Cosmo. Till this day I always blushed whenever I recalled that memory.

  “So Iz, I know you haven’t yet done the deadly deed, so here are a few tips on giving your man the perfect blowjob. You might want to make notes.” Elijah’s face held a look of superiority. I was under no illusion he was an expert in his field. There was a cheeky glint in his eyes when he chuckled, pushing a pad and pen into my hand to take notes.

  I glared back at him, blushing deeply. He always was straight to the point regardless of how embarrassing the subject was.

  “First tip sweetie, men like you to take it deep, open that pretty mouth and breathe through your nose.” He took in a deep breath, as if to emphasise his point further.

  Was this seriously happening right now?

  How was I suddenly receiving sex education classes in the middle of lunch?

  But realistically I needed all the help I could get. Despite the fact I wanted to crawl into a hole right now.

  If I ever needed a guy’s opinion on anything, then Elijah was the one to ask. I had never known anyone to be so direct and open about everything. He truly never held back and wasn’t embarrassed in the least at his lifestyle omissions.

  His pen circled the answer, as a smirk appeared on his face. “Same goes for tea-bagging as well.”

  Excuse me, what?

  From his smirk he knew I had no idea what that was, but he deliberately waited to see if I had the courage to ask.

  “What the hell is tea-bagging?” I had an awful feeling it didn’t have anything remotely to do with making a cuppa.

  His eyes flashed up from the magazine. “It’s when you suck on a guy’s balls, taking them deep into your mouth, as far as you can. The sensation is incredible, I love getting my balls sucked.” He closed his eyes moaning lightly, like he was having a flashback and I instantly grimaced.

  Did he have any boundaries at all?

  “So have you done it to a guy?” I asked, curiosity winning over. Though this was Elijah, of course he had.

  His eyes snapped open. “Yeah of course.” He shook his head, looking bemused by my stupid question, before returning back to his questionnaire.

  My fingers picked at the remainder of my sandwich, I had well and truly lost my appetite. “So how do you not gag?” How the hell was I going to fit all these things inside my mouth?

  “You’ve just got to know what your limit is. I like to have my balls played with as well, that’s amazing too but don’t squeeze too hard sweetie, don’t want to cut off circulation.”

  Wow, I knew we women were great multi-taskers but this list was getting longer by the minute, and that was before we had even got to the sex part.

  “So how do you know if you’re doing okay?” I asked frowning, scared I might squeeze a ball too hard and have the guy running for the hills.

  He gave me a look. “Trust me sweetie, you’ll know.”

  “Do you spit or swallow?”

  “Swallow, it’s good for the skin.” He smirked, shooting me a wink. I shook my head in amusement, as we both started laughing. He always was so witty with his one-liners.

  I frowned at my next question. Could I actually say the words without blushing? “What if he’s really big though and you can�
�t fit him in your mouth?” My mouth involuntary opened at the thought, unable to imagine something that large being pushed inside.

  “Well you got to use your hands and mouth, learn to combine the two.” He started miming the action with a banana, but it was all too much. I burst out laughing, hiding inside my jacket, to escape the ridiculous faces he was now pulling.

  When it was safe to finally come out, I looked over to find Elijah eating the banana, with a grin tugging on his lips.

  “Have you ever had someone big in your mouth?” I already knew the answer before asking.

  He’d made countless references to accommodating big things, which I’d quite willingly ignored. Since my embarrassment levels couldn’t possibly get any higher, I asked the question now. I knew he’d be very honest with his answer.

  He grinned wildly. “Yep, but I’m great at deep throating,” he bragged, giving me a wink.

  Now why didn’t that surprise me?

  “How do you not gag then?”

  He chuckled. “Years of practice sweetie, years of practice.”

  I laughed at the fact he treated it like it was a big achievement. I was pretty sure he’d wear it like a badge of honour if he could.

  The sound of Joel’s soft groans snapped me back to the present. I decided to test Elijah’s theory, gently cupping his balls. He groaned his approval and I worked my way progressively becoming firmer with my touch, which Joel seemed to appreciate more.

  Impressed by my multitasking skills, I carried on for several minutes before feeling the build up, as he started to throb in my mouth.

  “Oh god Iz, I’m so close, if you don’t want me to then tell me now.”

  Do I?

  Would it make me gag?

  It wasn’t something I’d spent a lot of time thinking about.

  “Oh god Iz, it’s never felt so good, I love you baby.” His words overwhelmed me, pushing me on. He arched his back in ecstasy and I knew this was what I wanted. To unravel him and make him moan my name. He came and I gagged slightly, though I managed enough restraint to let him finish.