I Carry Your Heart (Heart Series Book 1)

by C. M. King

  I rolled my eyes at his response, he was never less than perfect on any given day. “Elijah, you’ve always been in great shape. I thought you were hot the moment I saw you, and it doesn’t help you have the sexiest bum.”

  He chuckled with amusement. “Really? So you check out my bum a lot?”

  I blushed at his question.

  Why the hell would I admit to something like that?

  “Well it’s pretty hard not to when you’re forever in skinny jeans.” I smiled when he turned around, so I could have a sneaky peak, in the tight black jeans he was wearing.

  Seriously, it was like a peach.

  “You know Iz, you look smoking tonight. If I weren’t batting for team Ryan, I would definitely fall for a girl like you.”

  I blushed at his words. “Thanks I guess.” I frowned, already hating the look of pity he was now shooting me.

  His face dropped at my response. “Hey, I would in a heartbeat. Joel was stupid to ever throw you away. We are going to find you your prince and you never know, he may just even be at this party.”

  My eyes widened in horror at his words. “It’s too soon – I can’t,” I stammered. I felt a rush of panic even contemplating being around another guy, as I stepped back from him.

  His arms reached out and grabbed me, drawing me back in. “Calm down, I’m just saying you never know what could happen, but I hope you at least have a cheeky flirt, come on say you’ll do it for me.” He pulled the puppy dog look and I rolled my eyes, hating when he played that card.

  “Fine,” I snapped, not feeling at all happy. I would bite my tongue for the moment and let him believe that.

  He turned me back around and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, as we continued our short journey. As a means of distraction Elijah filled me in on the latest gossip at college, which was all complete lies. The stories were beyond ridiculous but the mixture of exhilaration and pleasure, watching as his eyes dance with excitement throughout, stopped me from questioning anything. I just nodded and smiled, inwardly doing yet another eye roll, letting him have his moment.

  The house was practically full to the rafters when we arrived. I was pretty sure we’d barely squeeze through the door, but Elijah would certainly attempt to drag me through anyway.

  We passed by the hoards of hot sweaty bodies, as the music reverberated off the walls. A group of girls caught my attention passing through. I shook my head in amusement, watching them grind hard against each other. Vying for the attention of several pairs of eyes, locked on them from across the room.

  Elijah dragged me through the crowd and grabbed us two beers. We headed out into the garden, to make our way over to the familiar group of people from college.

  I conceded it actually felt good to be out, away from the stifling confines of my room. It was like leaving my own imprisonment, well at least for a short while. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be so bad after all?

  I sipped slowly on my beer, watching Elijah talk fashion with some of the girls in our group. The pretty diamond like fairy lights caught my eyes twinkling in the distance. For a second I was transported back to that fateful night together.

  I wondered if I’d never pursued it, if I had recognised and accepted Joel for being the player he was, then I wouldn’t have to deal with the cruel aftermath. Though the sad fact was I had always been in love with Joel. I would have been willing for any opportunity to be with him. Just now I was tortured with the sweet, beautiful memories of our brief time together.

  I quickly swiped away a tear, trying to quickly erase the memories from my head. I couldn’t think about it tonight. I quickly gathered myself, trying to gain back some composure. I was just grateful Elijah was too distracted to notice.

  I tilted the last of my drink back, I needed a refill fast. Tonight was all about forgetting and I needed copious amounts of alcohol to achieve that.

  I made my way by the crazy drunk guy throwing out some serious shapes, as a group of people congregated around him. He was fast becoming the main attraction.

  Pushing my way through to the kitchen, I stopped to stare at a cute guy pouring drinks. He seemed to be in charge of refills, so I grabbed a new cup from the stack. I smiled as I made my way over. “Hey, can I have some vodka please?”

  Beer wasn’t doing anything to improve my mood, so I was now going to the next level.

  “Allow me.” He grinned, taking my cup filling it just over half way.

  It was literally enough to blow my own head off. I frowned as an amused grin spread across his lips, he knew fine well this was way overboard.

  “That’s too much can you tip some into another cup.” I went to grab another but he grasped my wrist and held it for several seconds, as his fingers caressed my skin.

  His eyes flashed up to mine. “It’s a party loosen up a little.” He nudged me winking. I poured in some lemonade, in a desperate attempt to dilute the vodka.

  I took a sip and my eyes bulged, at just how potent it was. He was right about the party, I was often told to loosen up. I was highly strung and in danger of snapping, vodka would be my alcoholic friend tonight.

  “I’m David by the way.” He smiled and I reciprocated back. He held my gaze a little too longer than I was comfortable with and my skin began to prickle.

  My fingers picked awkwardly at the fabric of my dress. “Izzy,” I murmured, dropping my eyes down to avoid any further contact.

  “Well Izzy, it’s nice to meet you, what’s a pretty girl like you doing alone at a party?” His feet shifted slightly closer, so I was forced to look back up.

  I frowned at the close proximity and stepped back. “I’m with someone they’re just outside talking to some friends, which I should really be getting back to...”

  “Boyfriend?” he asked. His eyes stared intently into mine, waiting for a reply.

  I fidgeted awkwardly. “No just a friend.”

  The smile returned to his face, sending a wave of unease right through.

  He was a good-looking guy, though his dark brown hair only succeeded in reminding me of Joel. He was around the 6ft mark, so it was hard to avoid eye contact when we were eye level. He could rival Joel in the muscle department, but I wasn’t interested in the least. I never saw anyone but Joel, he’d invaded every part of my heart and he just wouldn’t let go.

  “So you’re single then?”

  Shit.

  I hesitated, as I knew the moment I confirmed it the intense pain would make my heart swell up and explode. I didn’t need the constant reminders I was indeed alone.

  “Yes,” I croaked out, the lump seeming to double in size in my throat. It felt like it was about to close.

  Joel’s face automatically flashed up in my head, his eyes, his smile. I wondered what he was doing at this moment in time? Was he possibly thinking about me too? The most likely answer was he was out playing his single card. Judging by the attention he was attracting on Facebook, he’d have women lined up for the next year and then some.

  Tears filled my eyes at the very thought. I didn’t think I’d ever let another guy lay his hands on me again. I’d probably become the more modern day version of Miss Havisham, stuck in time, never moving on.

  “Are you okay?” David asked. The concern in his voice threatened to unleash the tears that were quickly forming.

  I blew out a long frustrated sigh. “Not really, I recently broke up with my boyfriend and it’s still all very raw and painful.” I picked at the rim of the cup and took another swig, wincing as the potent liquid burned the back of my throat.

  He frowned, staring awkwardly down at his cup. “Oh right, sorry to hear that, you want to talk about it?” He looked back up smiling reassuringly, but I was not exactly about to spill my guts to a complete stranger.

  “No, I’ve done enough talking and moping around, I’m supposed to be enjoying myself.” I finished off the last of the vodka, banging the cup down hard on the kitchen top.

  “Well in that case let me pour you another drink.” He grinned, un
screwing the cap, and I smiled at his enthusiasm.

  Maybe he wasn’t so creepy after all?

  Over the next hour we chatted some more. The drinks flowed and my cup rarely ever became empty. I was slowly becoming wasted and frankly I didn’t care. I welcomed the feeling of losing all control, unplugging my brain and enjoying the exhilarating buzz filling my body.

  Elijah walked back into the kitchen, with an instant look of surprise on his face. “Hey Iz, I thought you’d left.” He walked straight over, putting a protective arm around my shoulders, eyeing David warily.

  “No, I’m having a really nice chat with–” I paused trying to let my brain catch up to speed, but I couldn’t for the life of me remember his name.

  “David,” he prompted chuckling.

  I hiccupped rather loudly before giggling. “That’s it – David, Elijah meet my friend David,” I slurred slightly. Elijah looked him over for a few moments, before returning his eyes to me.

  “I’m off now Iz, Sam is meeting up with me soon, do you want me to walk you home first?” He pulled me round to fully look at him, but I just giggled.

  I was now seeing two Elijah’s.

  David’s arm wrapped around my shoulder and I flinched slightly at the contact. “I’ll walk her home mate, you’re okay,” David bit out in a rather abrupt tone. Even I felt a prickle with the iciness in his voice.

  “Are you sure Izzy?” Elijah asked, purposely ignoring David. He stared deep into my eyes, silently questioning my decision.

  I wasn’t ready to leave and go back to my prison cell just yet. I hadn’t felt this good in a long time. I didn’t want to face the big come down just yet.

  “I’ll be fine, you go and enjoy some time with Sam.” I smiled reassuringly. He hesitated slightly, before quickly kissing me on the cheek.

  He cupped my face with his hands, his eyes searching mine one last time. “Okay sweetie, but if you need me call or text, you know I’ll be there.”

  My eyes left Elijah’s, to find David glaring at him. I guess he was being a little overprotective. I shooed him away laughing. “Goodbye Elijah see you tomorrow. Say hi to Sam from me,” I yelled, raising my glass to him.

  “Laters Iz,” he answered, warily heading out the door. I could tell he was having an internal struggle to leave, as he glanced back momentarily, before disappearing out the door.

  “So what do you say we really get this party started and do some shots, are you ready for some tequila?” David asked grinning, cracking open the bottle, grabbing some glasses.

  I swayed slightly as the room began to spin. “I think I’m just going to head outside for some fresh air.” I grabbed the counter for support, feeling the sickness begin to take over.

  Oh god this was not good.

  He stood purposely in front of me blocking my way. “You’re not going to leave me here drinking alone are you?” He pouted, as his hand rested lightly on my shoulder, squeezing it.

  A surge of nausea rushed through me. “I don’t think I can manage anymore.” I wanted to be sick. I was only just managing to hold it back as it was.

  “Just one for me, please.” He pushed the glass into my hand and I swallowed down the bile that was rapidly rising.

  “Okay.” I grimaced when the shot passed my lips, fighting to keep it down.

  He threw back his in one go, and slammed the glass hard on the counter. “Damn that’s good, here let me pour you another one.”

  I put my hands up to protest. “No, I’m good – really,” I pushed myself away, quickly swaying to the side.

  He thrust the glass into my hand. “Here, one more for the road.”

  “Fine.” I threw it back but my body instantly protested. I lurched over the sink groaning.

  Oh god I felt dreadful.

  I felt David come up behind me, he swept my hair to the side and softly stroked my back.

  “I think I’m going to be sick,” I choked out. My hand flew to my mouth and my body lurched forward again. I felt his arms curve around me, pulling me back into him.

  “Hey, let’s get you to the bathroom.”

  I leaned in against him, feeling his arm support me. He helped to keep me upright, guiding me up the stairs.

  We rounded the corner. “Let’s go in here.” He directed me into the first room.

  My head snapped up when I noticed the bed. “Where’s the bathroom?” I asked confused, looking around. The effects of the alcohol were leaving me disorientated.

  “You just need to lie down for a while and you’ll feel better.” He patted the bed smiling and held out his hand for me to join him.

  “Okay.” I wasn’t in a position to protest. My head was spinning with all the drink and I was back to seeing double. I just wanted to sleep.

  I closed my eyes the moment my head touched the soft pillow. I sighed, feeling my body begin to relax. We lay together in silence, his fingers softly caressing and stroking my arm. I felt myself go under, my body felt so heavy. The only sound was our gentle breaths rhythmically breathing together.

  “Izzy you are so beautiful,” he whispered in my ear. The soft tickle against my skin made me flinch with surprise.

  “Joel?” I breathed.

  “No baby, it’s David.” He gently stroked my face. I tasted his hot tequila breath, when his lips gently pressed against mine. I let out a soft sigh, my thoughts automatically turning to Joel.

  “You like that baby?” he asked, gently biting my lip.

  “Hmmmm, I’ve missed you Joel, so, so much.” I let out another sigh, quickly becoming enveloped in the darkness.

  Chapter 18 - Hero

  I woke up in complete hell. There was no other explanation to describe the explosion that had detonated inside my head.

  It hurt to even breathe.

  I opened my eyes and winced. The ringing sensation inside my ears and lack of visual focus was relentless. I grimaced at the smallest shred of sunlight breaking through the curtain, now viciously torturing me. Even the slightest movement sent a whole new surge of pain through my body.

  I was in hell.

  I battled to bite back the nausea, each swallow felt like tiny shards of glass, down my tight raw throat. It was my first humdinger of a hangover and one I wasn’t keen to replicate anytime soon.

  I closed my eyes, willing sleep to takeover, to transport me to a place where such pain didn’t exist. But flashbacks of the night before soon invaded my brain. My body filled with a new level of disgust, reliving his touch and breath against my face. My stomach rolled and my throat began to wretch, trying to dispel every memory of the night before.

  My phone bleeped and I grimaced at even the lowest level of decibel. I cracked my eyes slightly open, trying to regain some focus, on the bright glare of the phone screen. My thumb stabbed blindly and I somehow managed to click open the message. It was from Elijah asking if I’d got home safely.

  Tears filled my eyes at his little act of compassion. I knew he would be devastated if I told him the truth. He didn’t need to be tortured by my own foolish mistake. Staying with David had been my choice and I would never let Elijah carry the burden of my own consequences. As far as I was concerned Elijah would never find out the true extent, of what had happened that night. I would fight to keep it secret and protect my best friend, from knowing the cruel and heartbreaking truth.

  My reply back was a simple response, using my hangover from hell as the perfect excuse. I needed to avoid him, till I managed to pull myself together. I knew any lengthy delay past a day would arouse suspicions, and he’d start to dig a little deeper.

  My eyes filled with tears, the torment was too much to take. Why didn’t I just go home with him? Swiping away another tear away, I slipped out of the warm covers, and made my way for another gruelling lengthy shower.

  I stood for twenty minutes under the scorching hot spray, each droplet burned torturously against my skin. I scrubbed over every endless inch of my body, in a desperate attempt to get clean.

  My skin was raw,
yet the dirt remained. No amount of soap and water would ever be enough to remove the ingrained shame. The sore sensation between my legs was a constant reminder of where he had been, what he had took.

  I hated him.

  He had preyed on me, catching me at my weakest and went in for the kill.

  After resembling some kind of prune, I dragged myself out the shower and pulled on some clothes. I quickly tied my hair in a knot, avoiding the pale tortured face in the mirror.

  I had to leave this room. The walls were slowly closing in on me and I had to escape it all.

  I needed some fresh air and was hoping it would relieve some of the chaos in my head. Plus the mixture of bacon and eggs wafting through the house was enough to make me heave.

  I grabbed my coat almost turning green in the process. The thought of any form of food passing my lips called for a swift exit.

  I headed in no particular direction, opting to see where my feet took me. My mind began to wander, into those dark places I feared the most.

  I had always been my own worst critic, feeling inadequate or chastising myself for my stupid mistakes, but last night had been my biggest one of all. I had let someone in my most vulnerable state take advantage, and steal a piece of me I would never get back.

  I despised David with every bone in my body, my stomach churned with the hate and loathing I felt inside.

  The cool breeze was soothing against my cheeks. I bit back the sickness, while my feet kept on pushing me forward. A loud car horn brought my mind back into focus and my head snapped up. My heart instantly began beating faster, at the familiar surroundings. I was now standing outside of Joel’s old pub.

  I took out my ear buds and gazed through the window, watching all the people milling away inside.

  Was this where I was meant to be?

  Had fate led me here?

  Maybe subconsciously at this moment I needed to feel close to him.

  Several minutes passed before I felt certain I was brave enough to enter.

  Grabbing the handle I let out a loud sigh and pulled back the door, taking in the warm, familiar surroundings. Everything looked the same, yet so much had changed.