Spider Gap

by Kristen Joy Wilks

  23

  The Lure Of A Timely Faint

  Lilly’s muscles froze and her breathing lurched to a standstill.

  The students crowded around, gasping and weeping and babbling about giving their wounded leader a granola bar for strength.

  Lilly’s gaze was stuck staring at that horrible length of metal, jammed up into Tristian’s leg, but her peripheral vision caught snatches of students with their hands pressed over their mouths in horror or vomiting in the bushes. A flash of black and white showed that Strudel was on duty, licking anyone low enough to the ground to comfort, including Tristian. There was a thump and the crackle of bushes as a body fell. Cloe’s inert foot was visible in the shrubbery. Had the girl fainted? Should Lilly herself faint?

  Yes, she wanted to faint, needed to faint. To let the blackness that sparkled at the edge of her vision sweep her away. Lilly held one shaking hand up to block the sight of the ice ax in Tristian’s leg. She concentrated on a single purple daisy that grew at the edge of the path.

  A small beetle climbed the stem and the crisp wind that rushed down from the snow-capped peaks made the flower sway. A drop of blood soaked into the pine needles next to the flower, then another. Lilly felt the burn of vomit in her throat and nose. Her stomach wadded up tighter and tighter and her veins thrummed with adrenaline.

  One of the students could take control, or Strudel! Surely Strudel would do a better job than she could. The small dog would lick everyone and soothe their fears by…barking? Or perhaps Emily would apply pressure to Tristian’s wound and organize a few of the other students to run for help while Lilly lay comatose on the ground. Yes, she would faint. It was the only logical response.

  None of the students liked her. They didn’t respect her or trust her, not even when she provided fun and complicated math equations for their education and enjoyment. How much less when there was blood involved? She would just faint away and let them have what they had wanted all along. To be in charge, without their bossy teacher telling them what to do.

  Lilly waited for the queasiness that stirred her stomach to grow, for the black sparkles to inch across the entirety of her vision and take her into sweet oblivion. The kids would be better off without her. It’s not like they would be unsupervised either. She would be present, only comatose. Besides, they had Tristian and Strudel.

  Lilly blinked. Darkness crept across her eyes, glittering and black, the sparkling fog of a nice, thorough faint. Lilly sank to the path, embracing the wash of weakness that swept over her.

  “OK, on three. We’ll pull it out and then slap on a few of these rocket ship bandages. Ready? One. Two—”

  “No!” Lilly shot out her hand and gulped down a huge breath of air. She gripped Juan’s arm and took another breath, watching the beautiful black sparkles recede. “Don’t remove the ax. Look at the wound, Juan.” She stopped Mason and Logan with a glare as they moved closer to help their friend. “No. See the blood trickling around the edges of the ice ax. What do you think will happen when it is removed?”

  “We’ll put a bandage on it and Mr. Calvert will hike us out?” The three boys glanced up at her hopefully.

  Tristian groaned and mumbled something into the dirt. “Dear God, please no.” At least that’s what it sounded like.

  “Perhaps, but do you know what lies beneath the skin on the back of the thigh?”

  Juan shook his head.

  “The femoral artery!” Lilly expected the boys to gasp in shock and horror.

  They did not.

  “Yeah, so?” Juan reached for the ice ax again while Logan and Mason crowded closer.

  Lilly pushed his hand away, giving him her very best scowl. “The femoral artery is only one of the largest blood highways in the body! If that ice ax has damaged it, Tristian could bleed out within four minutes.” She let that sink in a moment. Perhaps if they understood the severity of the situation, then Lilly could faint in good conscience.

  “So, bleeding out. That would be bad, right? I suppose you need most of your blood.”

  Oh, my goodness! Hadn’t these children ever read a first aid book? “Yes, you most definitely need your blood. You will die if you lose too much and bleeding out means that you lose all of it. The femoral artery has the potential of emptying the body of blood and at a fabulous rate of speed. Listen, if it is damaged and someone removes that ax, allowing the femoral artery to flow at its full capacity, Tristian will die in less time than it takes me to explain a new math problem, put on my hiking boots, or brush all of the weeds out of Strudel’s tail. That is what I mean.”

  Juan’s normally tan face bleached chalk white.

  Mason and Logan looked as though someone had replaced the pigment in their skin with snow. Emily simply sat in the dirt and wept.

  “Then what do we do?” Mason choked out. His voice wobbled and tears pooled in his eyes. Ah, yes, Mason had swung the fated ice ax. Of course he would be feeling a tiny bit guilty.

  Lilly surveyed the scene.

  Nine students met her gaze. Nine terrified faces, pale with shock. Eighteen frightened eyes, begging for help. Thirty-six numb limbs, hanging uselessly at their sides and barely supporting the children’s shocked bodies. It was the most horrific math problem she had ever seen, although easy to solve numerically, it only emphasized the tragic fact that everyone was looking at her and her alone. Strudel. Lilly glanced down at her little dog. Could Strudel help them? No, make that ten individuals looking to her for aid, twenty frightened eyes, and forty numb limbs frozen in terror.

  “What, no jazz hands? No heavenly choir? No mocking statements and snide comments about the fortuitous appearance of The Virgin Mary? Why start listening to me now?”

  The children were silent.

  Lord, I’m not ready for this. Why couldn’t they have just gone on ignoring me?

  Strudel’s doggy gaze was just as concerned as the children’s. He wagged and slurped her hand in something that might have been encouragement, but was definitely not an offer to provide first aid and hike the children out.

  “Lilly, come here.” The pained voice seemed to come out of nowhere.

  A tug on the cuff of her jeans made Lilly jump. She looked down.

  Tristian beckoned her closer.

  She crouched, trying to hear his faint words.

  “You have more strength than you know.”

  What? That was it? Lilly had thought of Tristian as a more practical man than this. Why did he imagine that greeting card slogans and clichés would help her at a time like this?

  He gestured more insistently.

  Finally Lilly just plopped down in the dirt beside him with her head in her hands.

  “You have dated, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “You were engaged, your Grandma said.”

  Oh, my goodness. What exactly had Gran included in the e-mail she had written volunteering Lilly for this trip? “Yes, over a year ago. Why?”

  “You have more strength than you know. More than me. More than so many of my friends. You know how to hold onto what is right even when people laugh. You are strong and God is stronger. You can and you will do this.” The words must have drained what little energy he had in reserve, for Tristian let his face fall onto the path and he didn’t move again except to give Lilly’s hand a small squeeze.

  Lilly gulped down a breath of fresh mountain air, banishing the black sparkles from her vision. “OK, then. Gather round.” To her surprise, all nine children scooted closer. “Grab my hands.” Every single one of them grasped the hand of the person next to them and bowed their heads. Lilly tried to keep her hands from trembling as the silence dragged on. Finally, she plunged forward. “Sovereign God. We are in dire straits. Mr. Calvert is hurt and we are deep in the forest. Give us strength and wisdom and good ideas. Give us peace. Your peace that doesn’t make sense and a plan that does. Please help us to get Tristian help and to find Holden Village. Amen.”

  Lilly opened her eyes and looked from face to face. Oh
God, help me! Panic zipped through her veins and her pulse fluttered erratically. She waited.

  The children began to fidget.

  Then her breath slowed and something warm and quiet settled over her shoulders. Lilly gulped down one more breath of the pine-scented air and addressed her students. “We need something soft and absorbent to wrap around the wound and some sort of tape to secure it. Someone grab the t-shirt out of my pack. The one that’s covered in honey. And Mason, I know you brought duct tape. Emily, get Mr. Calvert a drink and, Natasha, see if you can locate a trail map.”

  24

  Memorizing The First Aid Book Isn’t Always Enough

  Lilly packed the honey-soaked t-shirt around the base of the ice ax and held out her hand for another strip of duct tape. Mason ripped off another piece and Lilly pressed it firmly against the seeping material. “How’s that?” She asked Tristian.

  Their leader mumbled into the dusty trail and jiggled one hand slightly in what Lilly hoped was an encouraging manner.

  She was fairly certain that most of his concentration was going into not moving his punctured leg or shouting out his pain and frustration to the world. The man had to be in agony, but he had remained very quiet. Lilly traced the back of her leg with a hand, shaking away the image of an ice ax tearing through the soft tissue.

  Unless he was going into shock? She waved one of the boys over. “Juan, can you grab Mr. Calvert’s sleeping bag, plus three others?”

  The boy zipped away, seeming eager to have a job other than scuffing at ants in the path with the toe of his shoe.

  Juan hurried back dragging the three sleeping bags plus a pillow.

  “Good thinking, let’s get this pillow under his head.”

  Two boys held the pillow ready while Lilly oh so slowly lifted Tristian’s head. They stuffed it underneath.

  Tristian sighed as he spit a few fir needles out and eased his head to the side so that he could breathe without smothering.

  After heaping the sleeping bags on top of him and waving Owen over to apply pressure to their leader’s wound, Lilly dug through her pack for her camping emergency charts. At least they had been in her pack and survived the plunge into the lake. Lilly pulled off a layer of plastic wrap and spread the charts out in her lap.

  Weather patterns in the Pacific Northwest, The Ten Most Dangerous Forms of Wildlife in The Cascades, Poisonous Flowers and Shrubs…aha! There it was: First Aid For the Wilderness Explorer.

  Simply touching the crisp, rolled paper caused her pulse to slow and the acidic ache in her stomach to ease. There was something incredibly soothing about a formula. All they had to do was follow the recommended action on the chart. Could nine children, a small companion dog and Lilly actually be able to do this? Yes, if they had a chart, the answer was yes. Lilly beckoned the children close and flattened the flow chart to the path with small stones at each corner.

  “The good news, Mr. Calvert is breathing and is not bleeding in large spurts of bright red blood.” Lilly pointed out those two unhappy scenarios on the flow chart and moved her finger over to “Does the Patient have a deep debilitating puncture that is still bleeding after five minutes of firmly applied pressure.”

  “The bad news is that…” She moved her finger down to the next bubble of text and read aloud. “We are not to move the patient or remove the object lest the wound begin bleeding in earnest. We must seek medical aid immediately.”

  The children paled slightly, staring at her chart in silence.

  Lilly smiled encouragingly. Didn’t they see the chart? The chart would make every vital decision. This was a good thing, perhaps they simply needed to see the chart in action, saving lives and pointing the way to first aid success.

  “We have to split up. Some of you must stay with Mr. Calvert and keep him from bleeding out or going into shock. The rest must accompany me into the fabulously dangerous stretch of wilderness that lies between us and the medical aid that Mr. Calvert requires. Now who would like to do what?”

  Silence.

  Lilly looked up into the faces of her students, pale and wide-eyed and staring at the flow chart she had kindly spread before them.

  A sudden gust of wind tore through the treetops making the pines thrash above them. Needles fell down like green and golden snow, spiraling onto the packed dirt path. A shiver of cold scuttled up Lilly’s back and she glanced up. Dark billows were piling up in the distance, blocking out the sun and curling and roiling upon the horizon in a disconcerting fashion. A storm. Lilly put her face in her hands. Just what they needed.

  “We must decide with haste.” Lilly sucked in a deep breath and pointed at the dark pack of cloud. What was wrong with these children, the chart clearly pointed the way and yet they seemed numb? Someone had to decide and a democracy made the most sense. She would take the children who volunteered and leave the rest to watch over Tristian. Not ideal, but at least everyone would have an adult nearby.

  “What does that mean?” Emily jabbed her finger at one of the brightly colored bubbles that covered the flow chart.

  Lilly bent closer and tilted her head to see what had alarmed the girl. “Ah, yes, shock. You are right, Emily. Whoever stays with Mr. Calvert will need to ensure that he does not go into shock. If his hands and feet grow very cold and he seems pale and unresponsive, shock has set in. The body begins to shut down if it experiences too much trauma. That would certainly be a bad scenario. Thank you for pointing that out, Emily. Now who—”

  “And what is this?” Now Jacob leaned over the chart, indicating another bubble with a trembling finger.

  “Blood poisoning. Yes, a concern as well. Since Mr. Calvert’s wound is not clean and we dare not clean it lest he bleed to death before our very eyes, it could get infected.” Lilly pointed out the bubble labeled “infection” and placed a hand against her pounding heart before she continued. No need to be frightened, the flowchart pointed the way. With such logical guidance they would overcome. “Sometimes an infection can actually spread from the wound site and into the body’s blood, in which case, you are in serious trouble. Thank you for pointing out that danger, Jacob. Now who would like to—”

  No one responded to her query, only Natasha, who choked out something unintelligible and indicated one of the last bubbles on the chart.

  “Really, I think you are all quite safe from shark attacks. For one, we’re on land. Second, the closest water is in Lake Chelan and it is fresh, not salt water. You need not concern yourself with sharks in fresh water…unless, of course, there is a bull shark but really, they only swim up rivers infrequently and that is mostly in Australia, although there was that one in New Jersey…”

  Lilly glanced up just in time to see Cloe dry heaving behind a nearby bush. “So yes, shark attack is not a concern. The most common predators here are the American black bear and the mountain lion which I’m told usually leave humans alone.” Dear God, please help them to leave these particular humans alone! “So, who would like to remain behind with Mr. Calvert and who wishes to harken out into the wild with me as I seek first aid in Holden Village?”

  Natasha burst into tears and the boys closest to Lilly all took several steps back.

  Logan rushed over to Tristian and grabbed him by the shoulder. “Wake up, please wake up. Miss Lilly is crazy and we’re all gonna die!”

  All the other children nodded in enthusiastic agreement.

  Oh, good, a consensus. Democracy at its finest.

  She placed one hand flat against the beautifully illustrated sheet of paper that would save them. Despite the clear instructions and flawless logic found upon that bit of first aid wisdom, Lilly could actually feel her blood pressure rising to dangerous levels. Along with her pulse, her adrenaline levels, and of course, her sense of despair.

  25

  More Than A Test Score

  Mrs. Oropeza’s words came rushing back as Lilly faced the rampant panic that her calm leadership and stunning first aid instruction had unleashed. Miss Park, you won’t find t
hose kids on a chart or scholastic article on tween angst. You can’t just read through life, sometimes it must simply be lived.

  Lilly stared back at the children, met each gaze, noted the tears, and the streaks of dirt. New scratches and bug bites had appeared, and a piece of sticker bush had twined into a carefully crafted braid. Their eyes drooped with fatigue, and formerly pristine hiking boots were now caked with mud. A bunch of tired kids whose leader was hurt, and who were inexplicably trapped with a woman who needed a chart to point her through the intricacies of life. No wonder they were scared.

  She should have aced this trip. What had happened? Where was her A+ in outdoor leadership? She had certainly tried her best and that had always been sufficient before now. Lilly had accrued straight A's during the entirety of her academic experience. She hadn’t gotten an A- since that terrible day in 3rd grade when a rogue show-and-tell puppy had peed on her English quiz causing the ink to run and destroying her dreams of perfection. Gran’s face swam before her and Lilly realized with a start that she was weeping.

  You are more than a test score, Lilly love. So much more than that bit of paper that has broken your heart. Gran had pulled out her worn Bible.

  Lilly remembered hearing the pages crackle as she quietly sobbed against the cool plastic of her parents’ big, clunky phone.

  Listen, child. Let’s see… this is from Matthew 10. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

  Had Gran and Mrs. Oropeza been right? Was she afraid, so afraid of failing to be perfect that she couldn’t step away from her text books and live life when it demanded it? Messy, unpredictable, hard to quantify, flesh and blood life.

  Lilly knelt in the middle of the path and pressed her palms against the cool, hard path beneath her. Oh, God. This is new ground. You must give me what I lack. I guess there is not a chart to cover this. Please help me to honor You as I thoroughly fail at this impossible task. Help me to go down knowing I am Yours and acting like it. Because I am most assuredly not acing this trip. Lilly raised her head and looked at each of the children in turn. “Let’s pray,” she whispered.