Every Beat of My Heart

by Kianna Alexander

  As if on cue, Lina walked up the patio stairs.

  Again, Rashad took in the sight of her. She was wearing a white halter top and a bright orange maxi skirt dotted with white flowers. Her hair was held back from her face by a glittery elastic band, and as she lifted her skirt and stepped onto the patio, he could see that she’d kicked off her sandals.

  When their eyes met, she smiled, and he felt the fluttering in his heart. He wanted to spend the rest of his days bringing her the same joy she brought him. She made her way through the people hanging out on the patio and entered his personal space.

  She inhaled deeply. “Smells good up here, boys. Any idea when the food will be ready?”

  “Twenty minutes or so, then we can eat,” Darius answered.

  She nodded, but never tore her eyes away from him. “Rashad, are you gonna be released from grill duty anytime soon?”

  He looped his arms around her waist, pulled her body close to his. “Why? Do you miss me, baby?”

  A wicked smile crossed her face. She leaned up to kiss him on the cheek, then whispered in his ear. “You know I do, after the way you had me screaming your name last night.”

  He dropped one of his hands lower to give her ass a firm squeeze.

  Darius cleared his throat. “Y’all cut that out before you burn my chicken, man.”

  With a chuckle, Rashad acquiesced. Giving his beautiful queen a quick peck on the lips and a smack on the bottom, he sent her back down to the beach.

  “It’s good to see you and Lina back on good terms.” Darius grabbed a pair of tongs and adjusted the position of his ribs on the grate.

  “We’re on fantastic terms.” His eyes followed Lina as she walked down the beach toward Eve and some of the other women gathered around a small fire pit. The seductive sway of her hips made him want to eschew his duties and the gathering so he could spirit her away to someplace private. When he turned back toward the grill, he felt his friend’s eyes on him. “What?”

  Darius folded his arms over his chest. “I know the feeling, and I know that look in your eyes. When are you going to pop the big question, man?”

  Rashad shrugged, closing the grill lid so the last few chicken wings could finish cooking through. “Soon, I guess. I’m waiting for just the right moment.”

  “Whatever. If you know like I know, you’d better make it official ASAP. Don’t give her any reason to doubt your commitment.”

  He could tell Darius was looking past him, probably at Eve. “I guess you’re the expert now, since you’re married, and about to be a father.”

  “I’m no expert, but I know what I know. The love of a good woman is the best thing that can happen to a man.” Swiping his hands on a towel hanging from the grill handle, he smiled. “Do you think I’ll do all right at this fatherhood thing?”

  Rashad made a show of thinking about it. “I guess so. I mean, you’ve done a good job of ordering us around in the past, so why not?”

  Darius responded with a fake punch to his gut.

  Soon, everyone was filing onto the patio from either inside the house, or down on the beach to fix their plates. Rashad and Darius had prepared massive amounts of grilled chicken, steaks, burgers and ribs, while the women had contributed tossed salad, baked beans, macaroni salad and a bevy of other sides. Lina was among the people in line, and she threw him a sexy wink as she descended the stairs with her food. Once Rashad was finally released from his grill duty, he fixed himself a plate, grabbed a soda from one of the three ice-filled coolers and went off in search of Lina.

  He found her on the beach, sitting on the big blanket she’d brought. Her spot was somewhat secluded, away from the house but still in the shadow cast by the structure. Mere feet away from where she reclined with her plate, the water lapped against the shore.

  He set his plate on the blanket, then sat down next to her. “Enjoying the baby shower?”

  “It’s the most fun I’ve ever had at a baby shower. They should all be like this.” She lifted her can of grape soda to her mouth and took a sip.

  They ate in congenial silence. While she watched the tide rolling in and out, he watched her. He thought back on Darius’s words on the patio, about not waiting too long to make things official with her. The breeze wafting over the water played through her hair, lifting her curls away from her face. God help him, even her chewing mesmerized him. In that moment, he knew his best friend was right. What would be the purpose of waiting to start a life with her when he knew he didn’t want to imagine a life without her?

  As if she’d just noticed him staring at her, she put down her fork and turned to face him. “Rashad? What is it?”

  “You know I don’t ever want to spend another day of my life without you, right?”

  Her face lit up with a sweet smile, and she lay a soft hand against his jaw. “Don’t worry. You won’t have to.”

  He rewarded her with a series of brief kisses on the lips. Pulling away before his desire for her superseded his sense of propriety, he looked into her sparkling brown eyes. “I want to make this thing official with you, baby.”

  A blush crept into her cheeks. “I know what you’re getting at, and you know I’m down, but...”

  “But?” He felt his eyebrow hitch, wondering what could be making her hesitant after all they’d been through to reach this point.

  “There is something that needs to happen first, before I can make this commitment to you. Because once I do, I’m in this thing with you for life.”

  He drew her into his arms, with her back resting against his chest. “That’s just the way I want it. And if you mean you want me to ask your mother’s permission, I had already planned to do that.”

  “That’s not what I meant, but I definitely approve.” She rested her head on his shoulder. “I mean, there’s something I need to handle on my own. Once I do, I’ll be ready to do this the right way.”

  He wasn’t sure what she meant, but he trusted her. “Whatever you need.”

  “Thank you.” She settled back into his embrace, and as dusk came on, the two of them enjoyed the sight and sounds of the ocean together.

  Chapter 18

  Pulling her car around the circular driveway in front of Eve and Darius’s house, Lina honked her horn. She’d called her best friend the previous day, and asked her to accompany her to a “celebration.” Now, as she idled the engine and waited for Eve to come outside, Lina glanced into the backseat of her car at the supplies she’d brought. It was the second week of July, and the rising heat of summer had begun in earnest. Before coming to pick Eve up, she’d assembled everything she would need: a bottle of sparkling grape juice, two plastic champagne flutes, an envelope and a bright red balloon filled with helium.

  Within a few minutes Eve appeared at the door. When Eve had asked Lina how she should dress for this mysterious celebration, Lina had told her to dress comfortably. Eve wore a sky-blue halter-neck maxi dress in a soft fabric that billowed around her growing stomach as it flowed to her feet. Lina thought that funny, since she was wearing a dress almost the same color, but hers was strapless and shorter. Their similar taste in clothing was part of what made them such good friends.

  Darius waved to Lina as he appeared behind his wife, draping his arms around her waist. Lina waved back and watched the two of them standing in the doorway, saying goodbye. Witnessing the way he placed a loving hand on the small swell of Eve’s stomach, and the gentle way he kissed her, Lina couldn’t help smiling at them. Seeing her friend so happy and in love gave her a wonderful feeling inside, and that joy only increased now that she had the same kind of happiness in her own life.

  She was still grinning when Eve finally descended the stone steps and opened the passenger side door. Sliding into the seat, Eve took one look at her face and said, “What?”

  “Girl, come on. You two are so da
mn sweet you make my teeth hurt.” Lina gave her a playful pat on the shoulder and waited while she buckled herself into the seat.

  “Mmm-hmm. Pretty soon, you and Rashad are gonna be the same way. Hell, based on what I saw at the baby shower, you’re at least halfway there.”

  Lina giggled as she put the car in gear and rounded the driveway, headed back toward the main road. “How are you feeling? Any morning sickness?”

  “A little, but so far, it’s not too bad. As long as I remember to have saltines and a glass of water before I get out of bed in the morning, I do all right.” She placed her palms on her stomach.

  “You’re starting to get a little baby bump. It’s cute.”

  Eve scoffed. “Yeah, you say that now. But in a few months I’ll probably be looking like a beached whale.”

  Stopped at a red light, Lina looked at her friend’s face. “You’re only a few months in, don’t worry about gaining weight. I’ve never known you to be concerned about that kind of thing before.”

  Shifting in the seat, Eve nodded. “I’m telling you, it’s the hormones. I’m crying at the drop of a hat, laughing hysterically at things that aren’t all that funny. Hopefully things will even out in the next trimester.”

  “Hopefully.” Lina hit the gas when the light turned green. She was sympathetic to Eve’s plight, especially since she hoped to one day experience motherhood. “Whatever happens, you know I’ll be there for you, girl.”

  “I wouldn’t expect any less from the baby’s godmother. Say, where are we going, anyway?” Eve peered out the window at the passing scenery.

  “Marshall Park.”

  Eve all but shouted her response. “What?”

  “We’re going to Marshall Park.”

  “Why in the world would you want to go where Warren proposed to you? I thought you said you never wanted to set foot over there again?”

  Lina could sense her friend’s trepidation. “Calm down. I’m going over there of my own free will because there’s something I need to do.”

  “I thought we were going to a party.”

  “I didn’t say a ‘party,’ I said a ‘celebration.’ There’s a difference.”

  Eve folded her arms over her chest, and sat back in the seat. “If you say so.”

  Lina shook her head, turning the wheel to direct the car into the parking lot at Marshall Park. As one of the city’s older parks, Marshall had opened back in the ’70s. The dedication of the land came thirty years after James B. Marshall, the park’s namesake, had served as city manager of Charlotte. It was a beautiful place, with rolling green lawns, a walking trail, picturesque views of Queen City’s skyline and a small lake. It was near that lake, just over a decade ago, where Warren had asked Lina to marry him.

  She pulled into an empty spot and shut off the engine. She opened her door and climbed out, noting Eve’s hesitation. Eve continued to sit there, gawking at Lina while she took the balloon, the envelope and the bag with the grape juice and glasses from the backseat.

  Chuckling to herself, Lina walked around and opened the passenger side door. “Eve, are you just going to sit in the car?”

  Eve side-eyed her. “What exactly are we doing here, Lina?”

  “You trust me, right?”

  Eve responded with a slow nod.

  Lina extended her hand and helped her best friend up from the seat. Closing the door behind her, Eve accepted the balloon from Lina and followed her across the grassy landscape.

  As they walked toward the lake, Lina took in the scenery. The view of the city was just as lovely as she remembered, even though she hadn’t been there in years. A few ducks and geese skated along the glassy surface of the water, leaving ripples in their wake. When she reached the spot near the water’s edge, where she’d stood with Warren many years ago, she stopped.

  She inhaled a few deep breaths of sweet, fresh air.

  Behind her, Eve stood, clutching the balloon string. “What are we doing here, Lina?”

  “You’re right, I did say I never wanted to come here again. The memories were too painful. The night Warren proposed to me here, I thought it meant we’d be together forever. Time showed me who he really was, though.”

  Silently, Eve stepped closer behind her and draped an arm around her shoulder. “I’m here for you, girl.”

  “I know, and I’m glad, because I want you to see this.” Lina opened the envelope she’d brought with her and showed Eve what was inside.

  Eve gasped. “I didn’t know you still had your wedding band.”

  She nodded. “Yeah. I won it in the divorce settlement, along with the house, one of the cars and alimony. Sold the house and the car and bought my new place, but never did get rid of this damn ring.”

  Eve gave her shoulder a squeeze.

  “I’ve been holding on to it, and the pain Warren caused me, for too long. At first I thought I’d go talk to him, but I realized that would be pointless. I don’t want to talk to him and, besides, this isn’t about him. It’s about me.”

  “Amen. I think I finally figured out what we’re doing here.” She held out the balloon string.

  Lina removed the band from the envelope. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a thin, polished circle of yellow gold. It only took her a few seconds to tie the end of the balloon string around it. Once it was secure, she took the balloon from Eve.

  “Time to let it go.” Lina took a deep breath, and released her hold on the string.

  The balloon caught an air current immediately and began moving away from them as it rose. Lina watched it float away, taking with it her feelings of resentment and mistrust, and the last thing she had that tied her to Warren. She might never be able to forget what he did to her, but she would forgive him. Now that Rashad had come into her life, she refused to let the baggage of a long-dead relationship keep her from the happiness she needed and deserved.

  She stood on the bank of the lake, arm in arm with Eve, and watched the balloon rise until it was out of sight. Once it was gone, she felt a certain lightness descend upon her, and a smile spread across her face.

  Her arm still linked with Eve’s, the two of them strolled toward a bench for a celebratory drink.

  * * *

  Rashad closed his hand around Lina’s and gave it a squeeze. They were sitting on the sofa in the modest living room of her mother’s house. Carla, ever the gracious hostess, was currently busy banging around in the kitchen. She’d gone in there a few moments ago to get them something to drink.

  He and Lina sat so close together that their thighs were touching, and he let his gaze sweep over the tempting length of her legs, bared by the blue dress she wore. As his watchful eyes traveled up to meet hers, he noticed the serene smile on her face. He still didn’t know what she’d done today, and at this point it didn’t much matter to him. Her assurance that she was ready, along with the peace that seemed to be radiating from her, were enough for him.

  He trusted her, so there was no need to question her every move. And he felt they’d finally reached the point in their relationship where she trusted him, as well. Now there was nothing to hold them back from the future he dreamed of sharing with her. He could imagine waking up to her beautiful smile every day, holding her in his arms every night, and some day, seeing her belly swell with his growing child. The hand he held in his at that very moment was the one he wanted to hold until he drew his last breath. Of that, he was sure.

  Carla walked in carrying a small silver tray that held three glasses of iced tea. Once everybody had a glass, she finally sat down. “I’m so glad you all stopped by to see me.”

  “You know I come by whenever I have free time, Mama.” Lina sipped from her glass.

  “Thanks for having me, Mrs. Smith.” Rashad gave a respectful nod in her direction.

  “None of that Mrs. Smith nonsense. Call
me Carla.”

  Rashad looked into Lina’s smiling eyes, then turned his attention to her mother. “Actually, Carla, I have a question I wanted to ask you.”

  The older woman moved to the edge of her seat on the flowered armchair. “Sure, honey, what do you want to ask?”

  “I wanted to seek your blessing in asking Lina to be my wife.”

  Immediately, Carla’s face broke into a broad grin. “Sure enough! Amen. Son, you have my blessing. I haven’t seen my baby this happy in years.”

  He squeezed Lina’s hand again, but kept his attention on her mother. “Thank you.”

  “Lord, this is wonderful. You’re a good man, Rashad, and I know her daddy would approve, as well.” Carla clasped her hands together, an expression of sheer delight on her face.

  He was glad to finally have Carla’s blessing, because the ring he’d purchased for Lina was practically burning a hole in his pocket. He reached into his slacks now for the small black box.

  Lina clasped both hands over her mouth as he knelt at her feet.

  “Now that you’ve done what you needed to do, and your mother’s on board, I don’t want to wait any longer to ask you this. Lina Dianne Smith, will you be my wife?”

  Tears sprang to her eyes as she nodded furiously. “Yes, Rashad. Yes.”

  He grasped her trembling hand and carefully slipped the square cut solitaire onto her finger. The next thing he knew, she was on the floor with him, kissing him with fervor.

  He held back, aware of her mother sitting behind them. When Lina pulled away, his heart swelled at the sight of her happiness. She was still crying, smiling and staring at the ring. In that moment, he knew he’d gotten it right.

  After he’d shared hugs with his soon-to-be mother-in-law, he watched Lina grab her smartphone and disappear out the front door, presumably to call everyone she knew and spread the news. Once his fiancée was safely out of earshot, he turned to Carla.

  She eyed him suspiciously. “Your face says you’re plotting something. What is it?”