Just A Man (The Porter Trilogy Book 1)

by Shannon Youngblood

  I’m sure I sat there for many long minutes with my chin on the ground, staring at his office door. After everything that had happened today, and everything that woman said to me, he just dropped me like a hot potato to go talk to her. Sure, he had no idea I had seen her and she had talked to me, but if I was as important as he seemed to claim, wouldn’t that at least warrant an introduction?

  I didn’t have the strength or will to get too angry or storm back out, so I headed upstairs to the guest bedroom and ran a bath. After I stripped off my clothes and climbed in, I let the hot water calm me and soothe me, enjoying the lilac scented bubbles I had poured in.

  After just a few minutes, I heard Alex come in and take up his seat on the bench across from the tub. He looked a little frazzled, and a lot angry. It was a long time before either of us were ready to speak. He sat with his head in his hands, and thankfully, broke the silence.

  “I’m sorry, Charlotte. I was caught off guard seeing Rachel here. She and I have a long history, and are friends, but I shouldn’t have left you alone at a time like this.” His voice truly sounded contrite, which eased my anger a small amount, but not enough to stop the bite of my next words.

  “No, you shouldn’t have.” He looked up at me when he heard the venom in my voice. “Who is she?”

  “Like I said, she’s a friend.” he said, shrugging it off.

  “I see.” I didn’t really see, I was actually quite blind, but he wasn’t going to tell me, and the more I pushed, the more he’d reject me. I did need to ask him one other thing, although I knew he would just ignore the question.

  “Were you really adopted?” I let out on a whisper.

  “Yes,” he said, surprising me with an actual answer, and shocking me further when he said, “My parents left me on church steps when I was only a few days old.”

  I looked up at him, but he had returned his head to his hands, leaning on his elbows, which rested on the top of his thighs. I wanted to jump out of the bath and into his arms. He looked so distressed. My ever changing erratic emotions were giving me whiplash. From anger, to sadness, to sympathetic, within a span of two minutes. It was enough to give me a migraine that lasted for days.

  Instead of jumping into his lap to console him, I just said, “I’m here for you if you want to talk.”

  His only response was, “I don’t.”

  Chapter 27

  “You should really consider getting a trim, Charlotte,” he said, wrapping his arms around me while I towel dried my hair in the mirror. “I think your hair is beautiful, but a trim would help it grow, and I think it would help you grow as well.”

  “I’ve tried cutting it before, but ever time I get into a chair and I see the shears, I freak out, and go into full meltdown mode. Maybe with some more time?” I shrugged, repressing the shivers trying to run through me. If eight years wasn’t enough time, I didn’t know how much would be. I didn’t want to think about it anymore, it had been brought up too many times in the past few days.

  Alex left the bathroom, with a kiss on my head, to let me finish with my hair. Once each strand was dry, I headed back into the bedroom wearing a very fluffy white robe. Alex was sitting on the edge of the bed just looking at me.

  “Let’s go to the kitchen and I’ll make you some dinner, whatever you want,” he told me, pulling me into his embrace, his head resting on my tummy. I instinctively ran my fingers through his hair while he hummed into my robe covered stomach.

  “We need to talk, Alex,” I said, trying to put as much authority into my voice as I could. We needed to talk and Alex had a way of distracting me with his words and his other antics and touches.

  He looked up at me and gave me a stern look before grabbing my hand and leading me back down to the living room. We plopped down on the couch next to each other, but not touching, and he looked at me, waiting for my questions. I knew he wasn’t happy, but neither was I, and I needed to know how to make things better, whether it was leaving him or fighting for him.

  “Who is Rachel to you?” I asked, trying to put as much impassivity into my voice as possible.

  “She’s an old friend from my past. Her daughter is Sarah Mansfield.” He looked agitated with this line of questioning.

  “Are you sleeping with Sarah?” I blurted out before I could engage my brain filter.

  “No,” he growled at me. The iciness dripping off the one word was enough to halt my questions for a moment. When he looked up and saw the expression on my face, he softened a little. “I told you I didn’t like talking about my past, and Rachel and Sarah are my past. Can we please drop it?”

  He was doing it again. Shutting me out. He knew so much about me, things that no one knew, and yet he couldn’t open up to me at all. I didn’t want it to be like that. I wanted him to be able to tell me anything. I knew I was being slightly hypocritical, not telling him I loved him, but until I knew whether or not he could have any of those feelings for me, I couldn’t risk the heartache. His refusal to answer even a little bit was making me quite angry.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Why won’t you tell me anything, Alex? I’ve told you so damn much!” I said to him, my voice steely and low and laced with pain.

  I could see the heat flicker in his eyes. I couldn’t tell if it was anger or lust. With him I got those looks skewed all the time. We sat in silence for a long time, my anger rolling off of me in waves and his head bent, crashing into my waves. He finally looked up and whispered at me, “You’re right, Charlotte, but I can’t tell you, not right now. I’m not ready.”

  My adrenaline and anger melted away looking at him. He looked so lost, and so sad. I’d never seen him look more vulnerable than he did right now. I climbed into his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. He instantly locked his arms around my middle, holding me close, and a little too tightly, but I knew from my own experience sometimes you just needed to hold on to someone to anchor you down. Right now I was his anchor, and he was mine.

  I tilted his head back by his chin like he had done to me many times before. I leaned in for a kiss, waiting to see if he wanted one. In one swift move, his right hand was in my hair, pulling me closer to his mouth, and his other hand was cupping my face. He needed me, and I was prepared to give him anything he needed because, the truth was, after all the shit from today, I needed him too.

  He kissed me like he’d never kissed me before, making sure I was really there and he wasn’t dreaming me. After minimal probing, I let his tongue into my mouth, moaning as he swept it around, engaging mine in a duel of torment and passion. His erection was pressed into my hip, which made me moan even harder. I couldn’t get enough of this man. I felt safe and loved in his arms, no matter was Rachel spewed at me.

  When his hand dipped into my robe, carefully grabbing my breasts and circling my nipple with the pad of his thumb, I threw my head back and let the passion take hold of me and the events of the day wash away. He kissed the hollow of my throat, pushing the robe off of my shoulders to pool at my waist. His kiss heated my already sizzling skin as he kissed every inch of my neck, my shoulders and my chest, his thumb working aggressive circles hardening my already tight pink nipple.

  “Are you wet for me, Charlie?” he asked through hooded eyelids.

  I couldn’t answer more than another moan, I couldn’t even form two coherent words together. When his hand trailed over my belly and my pubic bone, and he slipped one finger into me, he chuckled.

  “You’re so beautiful like this, ready for me to claim you.” His other hand, still in my hair, directed my head to look at him. “You’re mine, Charlie. Mine!” he growled at me before he attacked my mouth again.

  His fingers worked in a fevered pace, circling and pinching my clit, bringing me to the edge of orgasm, before withdrawing and waiting for me to calm. It was intense, and I whimpered every time I got close and he stopped. The pressure building within me was excruciating and delicious. I didn’t know if I wanted the torture or the release.

  “Please, A
lex,” I begged

  “Please what, my daydreamer?”

  “I need you inside me, please, please, please.” I pulled at his shirt, trying to claw it off of him.

  “As you wish.” He laid me down on the couch, stripping my robe from me completely, letting it fall to the floor. I sat back up, wanting to watch as he took off his clothes, dropping it over the top of the robe.

  I couldn’t look away, and I didn’t want to. His body never ceased to amaze me. His tan skin rippled over his defined muscles, with a light smattering of hair leading down into the most impressive cock I’d ever seen. It was currently jutting out at me in invitation.

  Not waiting for him, I sat up closer and cupped him in my hand, resulting in him throwing his head back and cursing. I loved that I could do this to him like he could do this to me. I teased his tip just a little bit, placing kisses around his head before I swallowed his entire length, relaxing for him as he bucked into my throat. I sucked for all I was worth, licking and loving every inch of him. When I felt him grow even larger and harder in my mouth, I pulled my lips back and lightly scraped my teeth across him, while simultaneously gripping his balls. A second later I pulled out completely, dropping my hands from his erection and sitting back on my heels.

  “Fuck, Charlie! What the hell was that?” he growled at me, panting and sweating.

  Crossing my arms over my chest, I gave him a snug grin, “Now you know how it feels to be on the edge without being allowed over.” When he looked at me, I thought he was angry, and was about to apologize, until I saw it.

  A second before it happened, he gave me wicked grin with his eyes, and I saw what he had planned. That was all it took for me to bolt towards the kitchen, with him hot on my heels. I laughed and squealed as I headed for the dining room table to put something solid between us. He stalked me around the table, dashing to the left when I moved right, and heading right when I tried to bolt left. I bet we looked ridiculous running around a table completely naked, but I didn’t care.

  I gauged the distance from here to the stairs, thinking if I caught him off guard, I might be able to make it. I’d run up the stairs, barge into his room and offer myself on the bed to him. While I planned my escape, getting lost in my daydream, he sneaked around the table, catching me off guard, and threw me over his shoulder.

  “It’s not nice to run from me, Charlotte, now I’ll have to punish you.”

  Punish? What the hell did that mean. I lightly beat at his back telling him to let me go, but he reached his hand up and swatted my behind. “Hush.”

  He walked up the stairs, and I hoped he wasn’t taking me to the spare bedroom. I wanted to be close to him, and that included sharing in his sanctuary. I smiled when he walked to his bedroom and opened the door. He shut it behind him with his foot, and walked over to the large bed, lightly placing me in the center, and staring at my nakedness. A few months ago, I would have tried to cover myself with my hands or a pillow or something, but now I didn’t need to. He loved looking at me, and I loved the look in his eyes when he did.

  “Are you ready for your punishment, Charlie?” he asked with a mischievous grin on his face.

  I nodded my head, afraid to speak, afraid of what might come out. I didn’t really want a punishment, but I knew Alex would never actually hurt me, no matter how violent Rachel said he was.

  “Your punishment is to let me love you,” he said, looking deep into my eyes, gauging my reaction.

  My heart melted at his words and I opened my arms in silent invitation. Love! He’d said he was going to love me. I know he meant with his body, but I couldn’t help the tiny flutters in my heart. I loved this man more than anything else in the entire world and I would do anything for him, including saving him from his dark past and letting him save me.

  “Love me, Alex,” I whispered as he entered me slowly, stretching me, and filling me to the brim. “Love me,” I said again, as a single tear fell down my cheek.

  **********

  I woke up to the sound of Alex growling and thrashing in the bed. His eyes were clenched shut and his cock was ramrod stiff. I couldn’t tell if he was having a nightmare or an extremely good dream. The scream that pierced the air ripped through my heart and tore open my soul. I jumped off the bed, startled and afraid, for myself and for him. Any doubts that it may be a pleasant dream he was experiencing went right out the window when his body curled in on itself and he started rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

  I couldn’t tell if he was still dreaming or if he was awake, when he started clawing at my side of the bed. “Charlie,” he whispered, “Charlie, I need you.”

  I clambered back into the bed to get as close to him as I could without harm if he wasn’t really awake. When he felt the bed indent with my weight, I saw his head look up to me. His eyes were almost black and looked dead. They looked like little black holes with no life behind them. They scared me and I went immobile.

  A little roughly, he pulled me into his embrace and we laid there for an inconsequential amount of time with him rocking me. Even after the amount of sex we had just had a few hours ago, I could feel him pressed up against my back, hard and ready for me. I wiggled my butt up against him, letting him know I was ok with him taking whatever he needed from my body. When I was upset, I needed words to soothe me, but I could feel what Alex needed.

  When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and it crackled, “I don’t want to hurt you, Charlie.”

  His words warmed my heart. Rachel said he was violent, but I knew he could never be violent with me. He may not love me like I loved him, but I knew there were deep feelings there.

  “You won’t hurt me, Alex. I trust you,” I said, turning in his arms to face him.

  The look in his eyes spoke volumes as he pushed me onto my back and crawled on top of me. He gave me one last soft look before he closed his eyes. When they opened again, they seared me with heat, and passion and lust. The color had returned to them. He was gritting his teeth and I could tell his control was slipping. When he placed himself at my entrance, he took a deep breath and held it, not moving an inch.

  I knew what he needed, but I also knew that fear was holding him back. He was truly scared he was going to hurt me. I knew he wasn’t going to, but I also knew he needed to do this his way, so in an effort to get him moving, I shoved my hips up and took all of him in one easy thrust, taking the decision from him.

  He exhaled loudly and immediately took control, raising my hips and placing my knees on the tops of his shoulders, impaling me again. He started a punishing in and out rhythm, pressing and bucking deep within me, hitting parts of me I didn’t even know could be touched. He reached down and roughly grabbed my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, twisting, pinching and distending it. The rough treatment of my sensitive nipples should have hurt but all I felt was immense pleasure, the pulling of them shooting electricity down into my groin. The line between pain and pleasure was thin, but I rode it with abandon.

  I didn’t think it would be possible, after the number of times I had come last night, but I could feel an orgasm building within me. Alex never stopped his assault, and with every stroke I could feel myself getting closer and closer to detonation. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I was looking down at where Alex’s body joined with mine, watching him fuck me, and I could feel everything at a heightened sense. It was exhilarating.

  Through gritted teeth, he yelled, “Not yet, Charlie, I’m not done with you.” He pulled out and seamlessly flipped me over onto my stomach. Using his knees, he spread my legs and lifted me up on my knees. With no warning, he plunged back into me, hitting entire new parts within. The feeling was exquisite as he drummed inside of me, filling every inch. I was so close to the finish line I bucked against him, trying to ease the growing tension.

  When he ran his thumb over my other entrance, I tensed momentarily. “I will claim you here as well one day, Charlie, but not today.” His thumb moved up my spine to my neck and latched onto
my hair.

  I didn’t think I would be able to handle ass play with anyone but him, but of course the thought scared me. At the moment though, all I could feel was Alex fucking me so thoroughly that I didn’t spare another thought for his warning. The pain in my head from him pulling my hair only added to the pleasure I was feeling all over the rest of my body. I felt him tense behind me, edging closer to his own release.

  “Get there, Charlie, I need to feel you come around my cock,” he said through gritted, restrained teeth.

  His words never failed to push me over the edge, but when he reached his arm around and under me to circle my clit, I yelled out his name as we both came at the same glorious time, fireworks shooting behind my eyes and between my thighs. I felt his hot head pulsing within me, spurting his load deep into my womb. My inner muscles gripped and sucked greedily, accepting all of him. My legs gave out from underneath me as the ripples of pleasure churned through us and we collapsed onto the bed in a pile of arms and legs, our lips seeking out any part of the others body in an attempt to keep the pleasure from leaving.

  Chapter 28

  We laid together for a long while, coming down from our mutual highs. He laid on top of me, which made it hard for me to fill my lungs, but I didn’t care. The way his arms were wrapped around me, cocooning me, made me feel safe and protected, like nothing could ever hurt me again. I wanted to feel this peace forever. I didn’t want to go back to the outside world of threats and tire slashing.

  I felt him grow tense and ease off of my back before he pulled me into his arms, spooning me to his front. The glow around us was disappearing.

  “Alex,” I asked, “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m sorry if I hurt you, my beautiful girl,” he whispered into my neck, clearly upset by his rough actions.