Hearts' Desires

by Anke Napp

  They arrived at the check-in-counter, and he handed over his passport. "To Cape Town, please." The young woman behind the counter went through her routine procedure without giving any hint that she might've recognized him. Vance was grateful for that.

  Alison scrutinized the clerk behind the counter. “You did make sure our sensitive equipment is stored properly in the cargo compartment?” It was a question where you could almost hear the unspoken part of ‘if not, you’ll lose your head’.

  “Of course, Mrs. Cartwright. I instructed the loading crew just some minutes ago. Every safety measure has been taken.” Just receiving a call via his headset the airport staff member pressed his right hand against his ear. “Sorry, I have to go. – Relax, everything is okay and your equipment will fly smoothly to Cape Town!”

  With that he was gone. Alison sighed. Relax! What universe did this guy live in?! She opened her carry on and took out the box with her assortment of pills, chose a moderate tranquillizer and swallowed it. At least, she had her ticket! But the stress was not over yet. She would try to slow down a bit when they arrived at their destination. One last time Alison went over the checklist in her mind. Then she looked around over the fast food restaurants and duty-free shops in the waiting area. There was Nora Mendez, the assistant director, whose pregnancy had forced them all to push up the schedule. Her husband and the rest of her family were about to say Goodbye. Some ‘minor’ members of her filming crew sat together in a corner, playing cards. Make-up artist Chang was among them, attracting attention because of his orange dyed hair. Then her eye caught Jake Bertoni, her camera assistant at the bar. His voice rang through half of the hall, as usual. He was well-known for this irrepressible cheerfulness. Not her personal sort of friend, but a set needed people like him to cheer everyone up and hold things together in times of crisis. That she knew very well. Her production coordinator would meet them on location; he had left a week earlier so he could check on everything and make arrangements. Many other crew members were waiting for them in Africa as well. They had been hired locally.

  Heavens, there was that Van Sorel! Wonderful, Alison thought, seeing him just draining a glass of some alcohol. Hope, he’s not the kind of actor who is half-drunk half the time! She had heard nothing of that sort concerning Vance van Sorel, but that did not mean anything. Some folks were just smarter than others in hiding their personal indulgences. Some were particular smart – and their dissolute life only was revealed after their death!

  You are a pessimist, Alison heard a voice whisper in her head, resembling very much the one of her mother. She set her jaw and walked in the direction of Van Sorel and Bertoni. No, I’m a realist.

  “Good evening, Gentlemen, how are you?” she said.

  “Fine! Good evening, Alison – you look marvelous today, if I may say so.” Bertoni took her offered hand and bowed his head.

  “Thank you, Jake.” As usual, she was not too comfortable with compliments, and hastily turned the conversation professional. “I’ve spoken with the loading service again. They promised your cameras would be safe.”

  “Well…” he shrugged and grinned, “All we can do now is pray!”

  She forced a smile too. Then she took Vance’s hand and froze for an instant. It wasn’t his handshake – that was firm and casual, neither bone breaking nor wobbly. It was… she couldn’t name it exactly for now! However, the sensation left her with an uneasy apprehension.

  “’Evening,” was all Vance said.

  The voice sent her additional chills down the spine. She felt threatened and almost pulled her hand away from his. “There are some things I have yet to take care of – See you later!” She turned around and marched out of their sight.

  Vance sighed and signaled the waiter to fill his glass again. “Seems I’m not her type!”

  “Don’t worry,” said Jake, “Alison Cartwright is not the person who lets personal things mess with her work. She’s a perfectionist and a workaholic. Tough, but fair. You’ll get along with her very well, as long as you do a good job!”

  “I intend to do so! I don’t want Harker to spread it all over Hollywood that I can’t handle a simple, mushy romance story!” He drained the next glass.

  “You should stop, Vance…”

  “Now you sound just like Carolyn. Stop eating steaks, stop smoking, stop drinking, stop having good-looking women around you…” The waiter behind the bar glanced at him questioning, but he shook his head. Jake was right. He had only needed a little distance towards everything, before he entered the plane!

  A moment, they stood there in silence. Jake watched the people and made the occasional comment. Vance only listened with half an ear. He had to solve the problems with Carolyn somehow! But… HOW exactly? The more he brooded about the subject, the tighter became the knot, and he could not figure out any way to loosen it.

  Eventually, the two old friends found seats near the window and Vance pulled out the info sheet for his character. He had not had much time so far to become familiar with this man, and, to be honest, his interest had been marginal, too. ‘Arend Marens, age 45’, he read. Ha, they’ve made me five years younger, sweet little bonus, isn’t it?! The rest of the character description was less charming, though. Marens was a winegrower in South Africa, fairly rich, but his estate as well as he himself had suffered from negligence. He was one of the guys who could not cope with the changing times, but lived in the past instead and drowned the present in alcohol.

  Vance absently stroked the brim of his hat, thinking of Carolyn again. ‘A piece of junk’, her words echoed in his mind, and he smiled sadly. His whole life was becoming a piece of junk, a shitty hollow performance!

  “….hey, there comes every altar boy’s personal nightmare!” Jake’s voice demanded attention again.

  Vance turned in the direction his colleague gestured. “Is she one of our cast?”

  ”Yes.”

  The young woman walking towards them had the lascivious walk of an underwear-model. And honestly, she is not dressed in much more than ‘underwear! Vance commented without losing his sinister mood for a second.

  “It’s Lauren. She’ll play your daughter.”

  Vance’s features left no doubt about his opinion.

  “Alison is very picky,” Jake continued. “The girl must have talent!”

  “As long as she isn’t planning to show her talent in my bed…”

  Jake gave him a mischievous smile. “Vance… if you pass – I have nothing against a little visit with her…”

  Lauren Bastian closed in, evaluating the two men in front of her with an expertise far above her age. “Hello everyone!” She displayed her most innocent smile and stretched her hand in Jake’s direction. “I’m Lauren! Remember me? O surely not… I’m not the kind of girl sticking in anyone’s memory…” She held his hand just a couple of seconds longer than necessary, before she greeted Vance.

  “I’m so excited and nervous too! Never been on a set in Africa before!”

  “It is just like anywhere else!” Jake jumped in with all his comforting charm, while Vance remained quiet. “You won’t see much of the country – so there is no reason to be nervous. You managed sets here – you manage them anywhere! Need something to drink?”

  “Yes… it couldn’t hurt, right? I’m sure I’m a little pale. I am afraid of flying, you know…” She followed Jake to the bar. Leaning there, she made sure her body brushed against him. He obviously enjoyed it – typical guy with last minute panic! Meanwhile, she assessed Vance. There was something interesting about him, almost… yes, mysterious. She felt that particular tickling on her skin while watching him. Sipping her drink and listening to Jake’s drivel, she mentally undressed the object of her sudden desire. She thought him not only good looking – she had met enough hollow good looking men already! – but of an intriguing masculine beauty. And despite his rather pitiful slouching in the chair, Lauren figured he was built well enough. There was this little obstacle called wedding ring, she had noticed o
n his finger. Nonetheless, obstacles were there to be overcome!

  Two hours later – which meant an argument with a flight associate for Alison, five cigarettes for Vance and a deep view into Lauren’s neckline for Jake – the film crew could finally board. The plane was stuffed, and they all had to be content with economy-class-seats. Attempting to make herself comfortable, Alison already regretted deeply not to have paid the upgrade for a first-class-ticket out of her own pocket. She was no particular friend of flying. In a plane, she had no control over the things; she had to trust other, totally unknown people to do their jobs! As usual, before the start, the AC did not work properly, and it was quite hot inside. Her neighbor to the right – thank God no member of the film crew – took the advantage to undress down to his muscle shirt and displayed some ugly tattoos. Alison grabbed the script already annotated with her direction advices and her iPhone. Across the aisle, she saw Van Sorel fold himself in the seat.

  That annoying Miss Bastian sat down next to him. No. Don’t say that, Alison warned herself in her mind. It was unprofessional. She had to trust her casting crew as she had to trust the pilots! This young girl was just eager to make a career – just as she had been herself. Otherwise, she would not be here, where she was now, right? Right. Determination was the top priority in this business! And in case something would go off course, well, Alison was not a person to put up with!

  She closed her eyes and unfolded the movie in her mind: A girl, running away from her convent school in Europe to find the truth about her father, who lives reclusively on his farm in Africa, because he blames himself for the death of her mother. And while the young woman digs up the past, she falls in love with the son of her father’s administrator, which ignites the conflict.

  Not a very new story! It was up to her to make it unique and captivating! Her thoughts wandered to the actor who would play the administrator’s son: Thabo McKenzie. He would join the team in Cape Town. She knew him from another set two years ago and considered herself his mentor somewhat. A nice kid in her opinion. Probably too nice to ever get anywhere outside his home-country. Aspiring actors needed to be tough, a bit ruthless.

  The “fasten seat belts” sign lit up.

  The plane was over the Atlantic finally, destination London, where they had to change – and hopefully all their precious baggage, too. That was Alison’s greatest worry. If something went wrong and they did not have all their equipment at hand, it meant a delay for the whole project. And everything in this schedule was very tight…

  It was night, and most of the passengers dozed already, wrapped in their airline-blankets and cramped more or less comfortable on their seats. Alison wished she could find at least some hours of sleep, too. But the unnatural position, the surroundings and all her worries were enough to prevent all her tranquillizers from working. Therefore, she had stopped even trying, which would have only stressed her more. She put on her headphones with some Ayurvedic meditation music instead, and leaned back as far as she could. Still more than 15 hours to go – it was pure torture!

  Vance van Sorel could not find any sleep either. He wanted a cigarette very badly. Moreover, he pondered about life in general and Carolyn, in particular. The first hours he had found himself forced to do some small talk with Miss Bastian, who asked him all sorts of things. He did not want to act too rude – they had to work together for weeks, after all. But he had been very relieved when the young woman finally fell asleep.

  Eventually, Vance drifted off in a half-awake-state too. The whispering voices of some passengers and the flight attendant looking if everything was in order, hovered like a cloud at the margin of his consciousness, mixing with the sound of the engines to a strange lullaby…

  …from which he startled, sensing Lauren’s hand on his knee. He turned his head. She seemed still asleep. But maybe she only was pretending and did it on purpose. Vance was closer to opt for the latter possibility.

  Whatever your plan might be, I’m not interested!

  He grabbed her gently by the shoulders and put her back into her own seat. She did not wake up – or at least gave a good performance.

  Vance leaned back again. I have trouble enough as it is. Really don’t need a sex-hungry girlie in my bed! He stared at the dimmed round lights in the ceiling and yawned. On the other hand, a little devil started poking in his tired mind, your wife is already convinced you hook up with half of the girls in Hollywood. What could get worse if you actually had a little one-night-stand? This girl is pretty hot, isn’t she? And Africa is far away…

  “I’m no idiot,” he mumbled half-asleep.

  “Excuse me? Sir? Excuse me!”

  Vance blinked irritated and realized, that he was hanging half in the corridor and thus blocked the way for a man who was on his way to the restroom.

  “Sorry.”

  “Ah, no problem at all. These seats are simply too narrow. I feel every muscle in my body going on a protest march already!” The other passenger walked by, and Vance decided it was a good moment to go himself and stretch his legs a bit.

  The white neon light in airplane-toilets was one of the most merciless things in the world, Vance was sure about that. Showed really every wrinkle and stubble and made you look ten years older! Don’t you forget you are not 25 anymore, sounded Carolyn’s voice in his mind, and he sneered at his reflection. Contrary to some of his colleagues, he indulged himself neither in illusions nor extensive Botox-sessions. In the harsh business he was in, he was past his prime.

  “Well, old man, you can be grateful you got this role, so stop complaining about it! Another two years and you’re stuck with ‘Grandpa Wilkins on his porch’!” He splashed some cold water in his face.

  Someone knocked at the door. Yes, toilets were definitely the wrong place for lengthy philosophical discourses! Vance straightened his clothes and opened.

  Outside was a young mother with a wailing child, who clung to her leg. “Sorry, Sir…” The woman sounded nervous. “Didn’t mean to bother you…” She bowed down to her boy: “Sheridan, please, be quiet, darling! Ma will be back in a minute!”

  “Nonono, don’t gooooo!” the little one screamed, obviously fearing to be left alone in this strange frightening thing.

  “It’s his first flight,” the mother said apologetically in Vance’s and the flight attendant’s direction. “He’s just afraid. – Sheridan, c’mon, be a good boy! Ma is back in a minute. Nothing will happen to you!”

  “I look after him,” Vance said, bending over the child. “Hey, little one. I’ll tell you a story…”

  The kid stopped crying and stared at him with huge curious eyes, not realizing that his mother vanished behind the toilet door. “A… story,” the boy sniffed. “With dragons?”

  “Why not?” Vance lifted the child from the floor. The stewardess pointed at the folding seat in the rear. “You can wait over there, Sir. But fasten the belt, we expect turbulences.”

  “Okay. Thanks.”

  The little one was obviously totally exhausted from his fear and crying, because when his mother came back, he slumbered peacefully in Vance’s arms.

  “O my God… he’s finally asleep,” she whispered, “I tried for hours to get him to settle down.”

  “Must be my magic voice. Let’s not wake him now,” he answered. “What’s your seat number?”

  “B-6. But I can’t expect you –“

  “It’s okay.” Sheridan was just about to curl even more in his arms. “Just go, before he is back in action!”

  The mother whispered a ‘Thank you’ and left. Vance looked down at the little face of the sleeping boy and felt a nagging pain of loss in his stomach. Normally, he pushed such ‘attacks’ aside without consciously recognizing them. However, now there was no distraction, and he was alone with his thoughts. He had grown up in a big family; two sisters and three brothers. But for him, children had always been an issue off the agenda. First, there was his career with all its insecurity and chaos. When he finally had things under contr
ol and married Carolyn – it had been HER career. And then she said being too old for all that ‘pregnancy-and-baby-stress’. Yes, these had been her words. Perhaps this was the time, when their relationship started to crack. Now… time was over for both of them…

  Alison stepped towards the restroom with stiff legs, trying to put her hair in order with the free hand, more out of habit than actual purpose. Still one hour to London. And she knew Heathrow Airport! Knew and hated! They would be lucky if all of their crew and equipment got on the correct connection plane! She exchanged some words with two members of her team sitting next to the corridor and stalked further.

  What is that? Am I so tired that I’m seeing things? Alison wondered, staring towards the flight attendant’s area in the service compartment. There, Van Sorel lay sleeping in the seat with a kid in his arms?! He seemed to be a… weird person. But, she decided, better to see him that way than at the bar, drinking! Hands on the toilet door she turned her head again in his direction, not knowing why. Somehow this sight touched her. How gently his hand held the little one’s head, and how happily the boy was smiling. A Christmas scene, almost!

  She sighed silently and pulled her stray thoughts back in order. These intercontinental flights kill me…when this is done, I’ll never leave California again!

  Cape Town. The midday sun flooded over the flat airport building with its v-shaped concrete struts. Not even the thermo-glass windows provided any protection for the sensitive eyes of the tired film crew. Alison, her eyes shielded by the darkest sunglasses available, felt not only exhausted – she felt dead. But that was something she could not afford to be. In the first available restroom, she took an Amphetamine-pill, and washed it down with a disgusting tasting energy drink. This should hold her upright until they arrived at their final destination, a little farmhouse in the winelands north east of Cape Town! But first she had to handle the customs procedures! Hopefully, their baggage had arrived safely… and not ended up in Australia by mistake! She sighed. With airlines, anything was possible!