Out Cold ddm-3

by Tom Schreck

  "I'm not good at kicking any ass, Duffy, but I barely got to thank you for what you did for me. I want to help you do whatever you want to do," she said, and a tear ran down her face. She had a baseball bat with her.

  A short man came out of the bathroom tugging at a zipper on a pair of polyester sans-a-belts. I started to lose it at that point.

  "You! Meshuganah, you know that," Hymie said. He had founded the clinic and kept Gloria from firing me a bunch of times.

  "I don't know what mess you're in. You crazy schmeckle." He pursed his lips and shook his head in frustration. He dug into his pocket and got his roll of cash.

  "Here's a grand."

  "What's that for?" I said.

  "Goddam it. I'm eighty-six years old and I can't go fighting some hooligans. I'd do anything else for you son." He waved a dismissive hand at me and walked away.

  Trina wound her way back and stood in front of me with her hands on her hips. Her eyes red and her face puffy, she had the forceful look of a woman on a mission.

  "I only had an hour to round people up. These people care about you, you know." She paused and wiped her eyes. "You don't have to do what ever fool thing you're about to do, you know." She stared at me. I stared back without saying a word. She shook her head.

  "You're going to tell me whatever it is you're going to do you have to do, and I won't understand. Damn, you're an idiot." I just smiled.

  I called out and asked everyone to gather around. They all came here to help, but this thing needed to be organized.

  "Look, everyone," I wasn't sure what to say. "I haven't been doing so good lately. As many of you well know, I might not be in my right mind. I'm pretty sure I'm a little nuts. I don't want anyone getting hurt or in trouble because I'm nuts and-" The black kid with the bandana cut me off. "Shony said you crazy. She also say you the only motherfucker crazy enough to save her when she needed savin'."

  "I know everyone called you nuts for teaching me karate and, uh, changing my life," Billy Cramer said.

  "It was a crazy thing you did for my friend-you almost lost your job. Beautifully crazy," Dr. Pac said.

  "You got my scarf back and didn't even know me. We need more crazy people if you ask me," Mary Jo said.

  "Look, Duff, everyone here knows you're crazy and been crazy, so why don't you stop the bullshit and tell us what we got to do," Jamal said, speaking for the guys from the gym.

  "All right, all right," I said. "Okay, here's the deal. You know this canned food drive everyone's been doing for the soldiers? Well, the place in this region that collects them is also what they call a puppy mill. They call it that because they breed dogs for profit like a mill and they mistreat the dogs. The dogs don't get exercise, they're fat but undernourished, unsocialized, and when they're done breeding, these bastards sell them to the cosmetic people to do awful tests on them. Our job is to go in there, steal the dogs, and get them out." Everyone stared at me, but I had gotten used to that.

  "Oh, and one more thing. Al's mom is in there and she's real sick and real pregnant."

  "I just got a question," Billy said.

  "Shoot," I said.

  "How are we getting forty or fifty dogs out of there to wherever we're going with them?"

  "That's a problem," I said.

  The bar went quiet, except for the two Jerry's and TC, who whispered and snickered.

  "What's up fellas?" I said.

  "Uh, Duffy, I don't think transportation will be an issue," Jerry Number One said and the other two giggled. On cue, while everyone tried to figure out what was going on, AJ's front door opened. Rocco came in wearing old army fatigues.

  "Sorry, I'm late, Duff," Rocco said. "What's the problem?"

  "Getting through the gate and getting all the dogs out," I said.

  "That won't be a problem," Rocco went back out the door.

  "Excuse me everybody," I followed Rocco. There, at the curb, parked in front of AJ's sat The Deuce. Totally restored, tuned up, and humming like an engineering work of art.

  "No, Rocco, not The Deuce, I can't. It's your pride and joy, man."

  Rocco smiled and put a hand on my shoulder. "You know this friend of yours, Karl?" Rocco looked me in the eye. I nodded.

  "You know I did time in the service. I don't talk about it much, but this PTSD shit they talk about now didn't start in Vietnam. Some shit happened to me in Korea I don't like thinking about. It wasn't nice. So if I can maybe do something to help someone else make sense of that shit, maybe it will help me make sense of some old built-up shit in my life."

  "But Rocco, the Deuce? Your dream?"

  "Well, Duff, I got to thinkin'. Maybe she wasn't built to look pretty. Maybe she got built for a mission. Maybe for a mission exactly like this."

  The big horn sounded. I looked up to see Karl behind the wheel, Al next to him. Al bayed along with the horn. I guess it was time to go.

  Tom Schreck

  Out Cold: Round Three of the Duffy Dombrowski Mysteries

  43

  AJ's Army filed out and climbed in the back of the Deuce. Rocco drove, Karl went shotgun and Al sat between them. I stepped to the back with the troops.

  The night had a chill and riding 55 miles an hour added to the cold. No one complained and no one talked. A certain tension existed to the trip that brought a bunch of people together who didn't know one another and didn't really have much in common. That is, except they liked me enough to do this, and they were crazy as shit for offering their services. The thirtyminute ride seemed a lot longer. A mile outside the puppy mill, Rocco pulled over to the side of the road so we could mount a battle plan. Rocco looked at me to address the army and I shook my head and nodded to Karl. This was his show and his chance to exorcise whatever demons haunted him. I thought it might be nice if he didn't get killed, or get the rest of us killed in the process.

  "All right everybody listen up," Karl said his voice deep, his tone confident. It wasn't hard to picture him as an exemplary soldier. "This is what we know. A. The bastards who live here are right-wing whack jobs and we don't know what they are capable of. B. They're mistreating dogs, including a pregnant dog we've identified as Al's mom." Karl paused and looked at everyone.

  "And C." His voice deepened and he turned the volume up a notch. "Their operation is fuckin' history the second we bust through that fuckin' gate!" Karl yelled it at the top of his lungs and Rocco floored the Deuce.

  Rocco had her up around seventy as we bombed down Route 85. The puppy mill came into view about a hundred yards down the road. Rocco yelled, "Hang on tight, men!" The Deuce hit the gate, blasting it wide open. Sparks from the metal-to-metal violence flew and the gate splintered into a dozen pieces. The Deuce swerved, bounced, and for a second felt like it was going to roll over, but Rocco, like Lee Marvin on steroids, righted it and yelled "Yahoo! You Motherfuckers!" Lights went on all over the compound and alarm sirens went off. Rocco didn't slow down and headed down the dirt road towards the kennels. When he got within fifty yards he slowed the Deuce down so everyone could jump out.

  "Free the POWs," Karl yelled referring to the basset hounds.

  The AJ's Army jumped out of the back of the Deuce and ran into the kennels. The hounds heard the noise and went nuts. A cacophony of barking, howling, and baying filled the night as the gang ran in.

  Jerry Number One and TC were the first out, each carrying a couple of old hounds. Next came Vinci and Billy followed by the three gang-bangers all holding bassets. What a great sight. Billy and Timo each had a fat lemon and yellow basset in their arms, running toward the Deuce, and Jamal made a face trying not to inhale as his POW relieved himself. Mary Jo told a little guy to hush up and he would be all right, and Dr. Pac was tried to get an unruly barker into the back of the Deuce. I heard Karl yell out for me. I ran to the back of the barn. He stood there with Al, who paced back and forth and wagged his tail.

  "Duffy!"

  I got back there as fast as I could and noticed what had caused the panic in his voice. Gladys moan
ed in pain and breathed hard. A little foam oozed out her mouth.

  "She's in trouble, Duff. She needs help bad," Karl said. He wrapped her in a tattered blanket he found in her pen and lifted her as gently as he could. "We gotta get her to a vet ASAP." Ahead of us in the barn, there a flurry of activity continued as the gang rounded up the rest of the hounds. Karl walked with Gladys as gingerly as he could. Only a handful of hounds remained and the gang-bangers rounded them up.

  "Damn these mutherfuckin' bitches smell!" I heard one say to the other. I didn't think he meant it literally. I could hear the Deuce's engine. We came out with Gladys to load her in the front seat. We loaded Gladys into the front seat when I heard Billy Cramer say, "Hey Duff, looks like we got some company."

  Down from the hill came about twenty men, some skinhead types, others military types, heading right for the Deuce. They didn't look happy.

  "Hey Karl," I yelled, "I thought you said about 10 guys worked here."

  Karl looked at the men running toward us.

  "I was wrong," he said.

  44

  "Showtime!" Shony's cousin yelled.

  "I was hopin' we were gonna get some action," his friend with the tooth pick said.

  Billy Cramer rolled his shoulders to loosen up and his buddy Timo just smiled out of the side of his mouth. Shaquon cracked his neck, Angel hopped from foot to foot, and Jamal cracked his knuckles. I felt that twitch in my neck. Rocco got the Louisville slugger from behind his seat. The two Jerrys and TC looked nervous and stayed with the dogs. It looked like they had us by about 10 men.

  They were still at a disadvantage.

  The first two to engage were Shony's gang-bangers. The three of them took on five skinny pale guys with shaved heads and tattoos. Two skinny bastards went down and out quick and the other three found themselves in big trouble. Flurries of other punches flew and in seconds the skinheads went down on their backs desperately trying not to get stomped to death. Over on the knoll to the right, Billy and Timo faced off against four body-builder types with flattops. Two charged Billy, who swung his left arm in a tight circle, wrapped up one guy, and turned him, using his bald head as a weapon. The head hit the other guy right in the face and blood exploded from it. Meanwhile, Timo had both guys down and screaming, as he had broken their pinkies with some sort of sick Brazilian Jujitsu shit. Karl tangled with two guys and had his hands full. One guy had him wrapped up while another got off the ground from Karl's kick to work him over. The guy paused and reached into his pocket to slide on some brass knuckles. Karl was going to get really messed up. I headed over to try to get between him and the on-coming punch. I wasn't going to make it in time. Karl was going to take one hard and right in the face and I felt sick not being able to get there.

  The skinhead smiled with his rotten teeth, and wound up to throw a haymaker right in Karl's face. He cocked his arm, putting everything he could into it. Suddenly he froze, his face turning into mask of horror. He collapsed to the ground. Al had affixed his jaws to the guy's nads and he wasn't letting go. The guy screamed bloody horror. Al growled a sound I had only heard once before. His jaws bear-trapped on the guys' privates. Al's eyes bulged out of his head while he let out that horrible growl. The sound came from hell and Al let the world know he would not stand for Karl being fucked with. The guy holding Karl got distracted just for a second and that was enough for Karl's training. Karl slammed the back of his own head into the bridge of the guy's nose, breaking the grip. Karl followed up with an elbow strike to the guy's temple. The guy crumbled face down.

  To my left, the guys from the gym stood in a semi-circle. In front of the three of them, I counted seven guys on their backs. It looked like all held their faces or their midsections. I surveyed the landscape, and it looked like the crew had done its job. Rocco should-to-shoulder with me, yelled, "Let's load 'em up, and get out of here!"

  The hounds in the truck, the opponents finished off, and everyone was in the process of running to the Deuce. That was when the shotgun blast almost deafened everyone.

  45

  Ten feet in front of me, holding a shotgun, stood Luther Campbell.

  "You piece of shit, what the fuck do you think you're doing, comin' in here and messin' with my hounds?" He looked down the barrel of his shotgun.

  AJ's Army grew silent. Though we won the first battle, Luther held the great equalizer.

  "I ought to blow your fuckin' head right off," Luther said.

  "I-" I had no idea what I to say.

  "Point the gun at me you fat piece of shit," Karl said.

  "Who you callin' a-"

  "I'm calling you a piece a shit." Karl had a smile on his face and smiled, looking as calm and relaxed as I was tense.

  "Karl! Take it easy," I said.

  "Duff, this is it man. This is where it stops. This is where the score gets evened. I'm stopping it right here."

  "Karl, what the fuck are you talking about?"

  "Get ready, fat man. I'm going to shove that shotgun right up your ass." Karl started to walk right toward Campbell. He approached unarmed and it looked like it was an act of suicide.

  "Karl!"

  "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and I've had it."

  "I swear to God I'll shoot you if you come any further." Luther's voice cracked.

  "Fuck you!" Karl responded.

  "Karl!"

  Karl smiled, walking without hesitation toward Campbell's gun sites.

  "Don't come any closer or I'll-" Campbell said. I sprinted toward Campbell screaming as loud as I could. Al charged with me and Campbell looked quickly toward us while Karl closed within five feet of him. He glanced back toward Karl and fired.

  Karl went down.

  The recoil sent Campbell backward and I tackled him a split second after the shot fired. The two of us rolled over and the fat bastard caught me in the temple with an elbow. I saw a flash of light and went a little woozy for a second, which gave him the time to get up and run toward the storage barn. Al was hot on his trail and I fell in behind Al. The bastard could run for a fat man. I ran, gaining ground on Campbell. He went through the doors and around piles of canned goods. When I came through the doors he had disappeared. Mountains of canned goods on pallets with a forklift filled the corrugated steel structure.

  "C'mon out, asshole," I yelled but got no response. Al sniffed the ground and I could tell he was looking for a scent. He worked his way around the giant pile of Vienna sausages. Then he sat perfectly still and stared at the pile of cans.

  "C'mon, Campbell, you fuckin' coward!" A can of Vienna Sausages whizzed past my head and slammed into the corrugated steel wall behind me. It missed me, but not by much. I looked in the direction from where it came and heard movement. I noticed a sour gasoline smell and, turning, saw the wall ablaze.

  A second Vienna sausage can whizzed past my head. This one missed by a larger margin, but it made an explosion when it hit the wall. I heard Al bark and I had no idea what the hell was going on.

  Three cans of sausage came from over the pile this time and I realized he wasn't even throwing at me. Al barked like a mad dog and starring at the mound of canned goods. Then it hit me.

  Al recognized the explosives. The Vienna sausages were mini-explosive devices!

  Al ran around the pile. I followed the barking as it went from behind the pile, figuring Al headed in Campbell's direction. I ran toward the corner of the cans where I could best estimate from Al where Campbell ran. Another handful of cans came over the pile and blew up where I had been standing. I dove as hard as I could over the corner of cans hoping Campbell would be on the other side.

  I judged mostly correct and slammed into his side, but I didn't get him right on and he bounced out of my way. He threw more cans at my feet and I could feel the heat up my jeans as the fire climbed. I didn't stand around for them though and jumped Campbell and slammed him to the ground.

  I hit the fat bastard with a closed fist right on the chin. I jumped on top of him and put both hands
around his neck, choking him out. Campbell gagged from my hold and his eyes started bugging out. I've seen the face of a man dying before and this is what it looked like.

  I squeezed tighter until I heard my name and a force knock me off Campbell. Campbell rolled over and puked down the front off himself.

  "Duffy, get out of here!" Karl's shirt was matted with blood from his shoulder to waist. He grabbed Campbell and pulled him up and the four of us ran out the side of the storage building. The storage building filled with three-foot high flames. We got out and slammed the door; though we couldn't see the flames, I knew they were climbing.

  Outside the building, trucks and sirens and all sorts of cops fueled the confusion. I had no idea what was going on, but I knew we didn't have much time to get out of there. We all ran toward the Deuce.

  "Duffy, Duffy-get over here!" I squinted toward the voice and saw Kelley.

  "Kell-what the hell is going here?"

  "Was that place filled with canned sausages?"

  "What?"

  "You heard me. Sausages-was it sausages that caused the explosions?"

  "Yeah, yeah-how did you know?"

  He handed me a piece of fax paper from the Department of Homeland Security.

  "This came over our fax at around 10:00 p.m." Intelligence reports point toward the use of small cans of VIENNA SAUSAGES as explosive devices. The plan appears to be that they are being sent to US soldiers in CARE packages and will be detonated in mass quantities when they arrive in Iraq and Afghanistan.

  "What the hell?" I said. "That kid at Notre Dame had Vienna Sausages in his back pack."

  "He got arrested two days ago and found with a cache of weaponry in his dorm room," Kelley said.

  "What the hell?"

  "Yeah."

  "Maybe I ain't as crazy as everyone thinks."

  "Maybe," Kelley said.

  Another cop-type guy came over to Kelley and grabbed at his elbow "We gotta evacuate ASAP. That whole place could blow. Hazmat fire personnel are on their way." A flash of bright headlights ran across our faces, blinding us for a second. We could hear the rumbling of a large engine coming through what used to be the gate.