Knocked Up

by Nikki Chase

  “That’s okay. He picks me up most days.”

  “And if he can’t make it, I suppose his assistant is happy to do it?” Melanie briefly glances at me before returning her attention to Penny.

  “Huh? Who are you talking about?” Penny asks, putting on a clueless face. What is she planning?

  “This nice lady, of course.” Melanie turns to me and smiles.

  I return her smile, feeling self-conscious about having her attention on me, knowing I’m not even supposed to be here.

  “Oh, Megan is not my dad’s assistant.”

  “She’s not?” Melanie asks.

  Thank you, Melanie. I was just about to ask Penny the same question myself.

  “No, Megan is my new mom,” Penny says casually.

  My jaw drops, and I can only stare at Penny in shock.

  What the hell is happening?

  I’m not the only one who’s surprised.

  Melanie twists toward me so fast I thought her neck was going to snap. She eyes me up and down, sizing me up. Then, she picks up her pen and scribbles furiously on the notepad in her lap.

  Meanwhile, both Mr. Hunter and Eliza can’t seem to decide where to look. They stare at me, then at Penny, then at each other, then at Melanie, who’s still busy taking notes.

  “Ethan, I had no idea you’d gotten married. This is huge news,” Melanie says as her hand finally stops moving and she raises her head back up to observe Mr. Hunter. “You seem surprised.”

  “Oh, no,” Penny says, feigning innocence. “I’m sorry, Dad. I forgot I’m not supposed to tell anyone.”

  Eliza is the first one to jump in to save the interview. “I’m sorry, Melanie,” she says with a calm smile. “Mr. Hunter is just surprised because he—well, the whole family—they intended to keep it a secret. Only temporarily, of course.”

  “Oh, any reason why the public is to be kept in the dark about this happy news?” Melanie asks. Now that she thinks I’m part of the family, she looks at me, too, when she asks a question.

  I finally regain enough composure to return Melanie’s smile, but I still can’t find the right words to say. I’ve never been the focus of a media interview before. I’ve only ever been on the other side.

  From what I can tell, even Mr. Hunter gets briefed before an interview. Right now, I’m supposed to come up with answers to a fictional situation that I’m not even aware of. This is like some kind of a weird improv skit.

  “Please excuse Miss Jones,” Eliza says. “She’s not used to being in the limelight, as you can probably tell. With the media storm surrounding Hunter Corporation and Mr. Hunter’s family right now, you understand why we’re careful about this.”

  “Oh, I understand,” Melanie says. “But, Miss Jones, if I may say something, sooner or later you’re going to be the focus of some huge news articles. I’d try to get used to it if I were you. There’s really no escaping it.”

  “Tha—” My voice sounds weird and squeaky, so I pause to clear my throat before I continue. I make a second attempt and say, “Thank you.”

  “I notice you just called her Miss Jones, Eliza,” Melanie says. “Is there a reason why? I’d think Mrs. Hunter would be a more appropriate way to address her. Don’t you agree, Ethan?”

  Quickly, Eliza answers, “Until we decide how to approach this, we’d like to keep everything exactly the same. We don’t want anybody finding out by accident because of a slip of the tongue, like we just witnessed together,” she says with a small laugh.

  “That makes sense. But you understand that, now that I’m aware of this, I can’t just sit on the news,” Melanie says.

  “We’d appreciate it if you could omit this part of the conversation for now,” Eliza says. “No other news source is aware of this yet, so you’ll still be the first to break the news. We’ll even give you an exclusive interview if you agree to keep it quiet for as long as you can.”

  “An exclusive interview and a photography session with the whole family,” Melanie negotiates.

  “Deal.” Eliza smiles. Glancing at her watch, she adds, “Now, I believe we’ve hit the one-hour limit for this interview. Mr. Hunter has another meeting scheduled in a few minutes, so I think we should end this session. We’ll continue on another day, when we’re ready for that exclusive interview and photography session.”

  “Oh, I’d like to get a few more details before I go. Like, Miss Jones,” Melanie says as she turns toward me, “What is your first name?”

  “Meg—”

  “Miss Jones, please, let me.” Eliza cuts me off, her expression friendly but firm. To Melanie, she says, “Miss Jones would like to maintain her anonymity for as long as possible, so I hope you understand if we withhold her full name. Mr. Hunter, Penny, and Miss Jones—they’re just a family like any other family. Privacy is very important to them.”

  “Of course. I understand.” Melanie’s face falls, but she forces a smile.

  Obviously, the journalist still wants to dig more information. She stares at me, like she’s memorizing the way I look so she can describe my appearance to her readers.

  For a second, I consider crouching under Mr. Hunter’s couch, just in case Melanie pulls out her cell phone and starts taking pictures of me. But that would be downright crazy.

  In a smooth social maneuver, Eliza gets Melanie to stand up and follow her to the door. She glances back at Mr. Hunter before walking out, seemingly to let him know she’s coming back soon.

  I inhale deeply. I realize I’d been holding my breath while Melanie was in here. I still have no idea what’s going on, but at least I don’t have to pretend anymore.

  I take a peek at Mr. Hunter and his daughter, who have their backs to me. They have been silent for the past few minutes, letting Eliza handle the interviewer.

  I can’t see their expressions from where I’m standing, but the muscles along Mr. Hunter’s neck are tense. Is he angry?

  Is he angry…at me?

  Shit.

  Technically, it was Penny who has put us in this strange and awkward position. But she’s a child and I’m an adult who was supposed to look after her. I was supposed make sure she didn’t pull something like this.

  Damn it. I hope I haven’t just ruined my chances of taking revenge on Ethan Hunter.

  Ethan

  “Megan, please take a seat,” I say calmly, despite the storm brewing inside me. I gesture at the couch where Melanie was sitting, only minutes ago.

  I want to have a private discussion with Penny about boundaries, but that will have to wait. I will have to get to the bottom of this first.

  I have to make sure Megan isn’t trying to take advantage of me.

  She obediently takes her seat. With panic in her pretty blue eyes, she says, “I’m sorry, Mr. Hunter. I swear I had no idea she was going to barge in like that. I should’ve kept a closer eye on her.”

  I nod at her, but remain quiet.

  I’m sure that look alone is enough to make many men take her at her word, but I’m not that easily fooled. I’ve dealt with enough parasites to know that they come in all shapes and sizes. Although she looks innocent, Megan could very well be just another one of them.

  “Penny, take a seat next to Megan, please.”

  Without saying a word, Penny obliges. She knows I’m dead serious now, which means she knows that what she did was wrong.

  “I’m disappointed, Penny. I thought you were smarter than that,” I say.

  Penny looks down. She fidgets, running her own fingers all over her nails, which are painted blue.

  Penny has only recently started to pay more attention to her appearance. To be honest, I’m worried I won’t be enough for her when she needs to navigate puberty. I do okay with ice creams and car rides, but I’m lost when it comes to shit like periods, fashion, popularity, and boys.

  “I just didn’t want them to take me away again,” she says quietly, in a voice that breaks my heart.

  She sounds so small and scared, and it reminds me just how muc
h I’ve failed her. I’m not doing a good job of making her feel safe.

  “I told you, I won’t let anyone take you away from me. I promise you,” I say.

  “But that’s not what the lady said,” Penny protests.

  “The interviewer lady?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you believe her, or do you believe me?” I ask.

  “You,” Penny answers in a flat tone, a sign that she’s just saying whatever I want her to say.

  “Penny, look at me.” I level my gaze at her. “Did Megan put you up to this?”

  “No,” Penny answers quickly. “Megan doesn’t have anything to do with it. I came up with it all on my own.”

  “And you must think you’re so smart for having come up with it.” I rub my temple. A vein is popping up and throbbing. Casting a glance at Megan, I say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you. I had to at least ask the question.”

  “I understand, Mr. Hunter. Again, I apologize for not handling the situation better. I didn’t expect something like that to happen.”

  I nod.

  For what it’s worth, Megan genuinely looks shaken. It’s probably unfair to accuse her for being the mastermind of whatever fucking PR disaster just happened.

  She wouldn’t have been able to come up with that kind of a plan spontaneously. A stranger like Megan would never be able to coax Penny into doing her bidding. Hell, I have trouble telling her to do the things she’s supposed to do anyway.

  My girl is way too stubborn to just follow someone’s crazy plan.

  Coming up with her own crazy plan, though? Penny’s perfectly capable of that.

  “It’s not your fault, Megan. Don’t worry about it,” I say.

  Megan seems to relax a little. Her breathing grows slower and more regular as her muscles loosen up.

  Considering what has just happened, she’s handling it relatively calmly. At least she didn’t freak out and deny Penny’s story in front of the interviewer—that would’ve been worse.

  I’m glad Eliza was here to help me get through that shit show. I was ready to tell Melanie to leave my office as soon as Penny mentioned the words “new mom.”

  But Eliza gave me a look that told me she had it covered, and she managed to send the journalist away without giving her any more information.

  To these vultures, it doesn’t matter what the truth is. All that matters is what would sell more copies of their dumb magazines.

  In the past, I used to handle media inquiries myself. That didn’t go so well. So now, I’ve learned to stay quiet. Whenever I get too worked up, I step back and let Eliza deal with it.

  There’s a reason why I pay her top dollar, and that’s because she’s better at her job than I am. The only reason why I’ve managed to climb to the top is because I hire experts like Eliza and let them work as I continue to focus on the big picture.

  I get up and go to my desk to pick up the phone. I press the shortcut button to call the legal department. “Lana, my office, please,” I say.

  “Yes, Ethan,” she answers from the other end of the line.

  I like having this system in place, where I can immediately reach my employees at a moment’s notice. It’s only a few key people, like the heads of departments and my personal assistant. They know they should come as soon as I need them. Their main concern should be to keep me, their employer, happy.

  I take deep breaths and consider the circumstances as I get back to the couch. The news that Penny has a new mom would probably be a good thing if it were true, considering the media likes to attack the fact that I’m a single dad and I’m keeping Penny away from her mother.

  Even the courts prefer to give custody to the partnered ex-spouse. It’s only thanks to my team of lawyers that I’ve managed to take Penny back, even though her mom had a husband at the time of the custody battle.

  But as soon as it’s revealed that I’m still a single dad and it’s all just a lie, we’re screwed.

  I’d be hit with accusations of putting ideas in Penny’s head, introducing a strange woman as her new mom, and generally failing to provide stability for her. All these things would apply, even if we managed to convince them that Megan and I were actually dating at some point.

  “What just happened?” Eliza asks as she marches back into the office. “We didn’t plan to do that. I’m pretty sure I would’ve remembered your marriage if you had mentioned it, Ethan.”

  “Please stop shouting, Eliza. My head already hurts.” massage my temple. “I didn’t plan to do that either. There’s no marriage.”

  “Well, as your spokesperson, I should’ve been notified as well if you get into a serious relationship, especially when you know it could affect—”

  “Eliza,” I cut her off. “There’s no relationship, engagement, or marriage. There’s nothing between Megan and me. We’re just employer and assistant. That’s all.”

  “Oh,” Eliza goes quiet. “Then… Then why did you do that?”

  “I didn’t do anything. It was all Penny.” Ridiculously, I feel like a snitch, even though I’m the parent and she’s the child who needs to be disciplined. I feel like I’m betraying her, in a way.

  “Penny, honey, why did you do that?” Eliza asks as she approaches Penny, her brown hair tumbling forward as she crouches on the floor.

  Penny keeps staring at the floor, fidgeting with her blue nails.

  “I’m sorry for not introducing myself. I’m Eliza. I work with your dad. I handle interviews like the one we just had. I was surprised that you did what you did. I think we all were.”

  “I’m not going to say sorry,” Penny says stubbornly. “I just don’t want them to take me away.”

  Eliza shoots me a questioning look.

  “Penny’s worried that her mom might succeed in getting custody,” I explain.

  “Honey. Aww…” Eliza scoots closer to Penny on the couch and rubs her arm. “We’re going to make sure that doesn’t happen, okay? Why did you think they were going to take you away?”

  “That’s what the lady said. That people might be convinced that dad isn’t taking good care of me.”

  “Did anything happen?” Lana asks as soon as she walks through the door and sees a big group, including a child, in the sitting area.

  “Oh, boy. You’re in for a treat,” Eliza says with a grin as she starts to give Lana an account of what has just taken place right here. Her calm, professional demeanor helps make me feel better about this whole thing.

  Maybe it’s not that bad after all.

  “Oh, no. This is bad,” Lana says. “How much time do we have until this shows up on the news?”

  “I asked the interviewer to keep it under wraps and she agreed, so… One week, tops.”

  “Jesus, the media. You can never trust them,” Lana says.

  “Funny thing, many people say the same thing about lawyers,” Eliza quips.

  “This is going to undermine your credibility when word gets out that it’s all a lie, Ethan,” Lana says, ignoring Eliza’s gibe at her. “They’re going to attack your parenting, as well. You didn’t pick Penny up like you claim you always do; you missed it because of work; and you made her believe that she has a new mom.”

  Lana notices me opening my mouth and quickly adds, “I know Penny came up with it on her own, but people are not going to believe that. Not even if she admitted it herself.”

  “Just look at her,” Lana says as she gestures at Penny. “The picture of honesty and innocence. People will think you corrupted her into becoming a liar.”

  “Sorry,” Penny says softly.

  “I thought you said you weren’t going to say sorry,” I say.

  “I didn’t know it was going to get this bad.”

  “Well, I know you didn’t mean any harm, Penny,” Lana says, “but it only worsened the—”

  “It’s okay, honey,” Eliza says to Penny as she glares at Lana. “It wasn’t the best thing you could’ve done, but we’re going to figure this out.”


  The room goes silent for a few seconds as the reality of the situation sinks in.

  “There is a way to fix everything,” Lana says. “Okay, Eliza, hear me out and let me know how the media will take the news. But legally, there’s no problem in handling it according to this plan I have in my head. It’s crazy, but hear me out.”

  Lana looks around at everyone, making sure she has our attention, before she makes the craziest preposition I’ve ever heard.

  “Okay, how about…” Lana pauses dramatically. “How about you get married for real?”

  Despite the intensity of the situation, I burst out laughing.

  Of course it fucking sucks that everything is spiraling out of control. But sometimes there’s nothing you can do but realize how ridiculous life is and roll with it.

  I’ve gone through plenty of real suffering in my life and gained enough perspective to know this is not a big deal.

  Even if they hurt my reputation, they’ll never take Penny away from me. And as long as I’m secure in this knowledge, nothing can shake me.

  I have a ton of money I can use to hire the best lawyers to represent my case, and I’m willing spend every last cent to keep my daughter if I have to. I’d lose everything before I lose Penny.

  And if it takes me marrying my personal assistant to make sure Penny stays with me? I’ll do it, too. There’s literally nothing I wouldn’t do.

  “I’m not joking, Ethan,” Lana says. “We can draw everything up so all the terms are clear. There’s going to be a pre-nup, of course. But, Megan, you will be handsomely rewarded.”

  “You know, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all,” Eliza says as she stares into the distance. “I can already see the headlines. ’New Mom for Ethan Hunter’s Daughter’ would make a good one.”

  I shake my head and sigh. Fucking life, man. You never know where it might take you.

  “What do you think, Megan? Will you marry me?” I ask.

  To my surprise, her face grows red from my playful proposal. She bites her bottom lip nervously. Her reaction makes me want to taste those pink, full lips.

  “Don’t mess with her, Ethan,” Eliza says, ever the diplomatic communicator. “Megan, right? Is it okay if I call you Megan?”