by Dori Lavelle
I wouldn’t stay long enough to let it dry. It would have to air dry on my body. This man had been kind enough to help me escape the resort without getting arrested. And he had given me shelter instead of calling the police.
He shook his head but only barely. His movements were so fluid, so controlled. “After you get changed, give it to me. I’ll get rid of it.” He lifted two glossy bags from the floor and handed them to me. I had been so focused on his face I hadn’t noticed them at his feet. “My assistant bought you clothes according to the sizes you specified. You were already asleep when she dropped them off last night. If there’s anything else you need, write a list.”
“Thank you.” I hugged the bags to my body. “You didn’t—”
“Change my mind?” He smiled but the curl of his lips was so faint I almost didn’t notice it. “I’m a man of my word, Haley. I promised to help you. I meant it.” He slipped his hands into his pockets. “Get dressed and make yourself at home.”
CHAPTER THREE
I hadn’t seen Jude since the day I’d handed him my blood-stained dress. He’d rolled it up and told me not to worry about it. Fifteen minutes later, he’d pressed a wad of cash into my hand, more money than I’d held in a long time.
“I’m going away for a few days. If you need anything, ask Lin, my housekeeper. She’ll get it for you. Don’t leave the house under any circumstances. The dust hasn’t settled yet.” He lowered his voice a fraction. “Don’t tell anyone anything about what happened. If you need to reach me, Lin has my number.”
I had nodded and he’d hurried down the stairs.
That was a week ago.
Alone in the huge mansion with only the gardener, cleaner and housekeeper coming and going daily, I still felt uncomfortable. I just couldn’t relax. Although I felt relief at being able to hide, anxiety that my cover could be blown any moment also gnawed at me. So did the guilt. I was able to hide from my sin, and yet I was still trapped by it. How could I ever erase the scenes inside my head, the sight of blood?
After a week of spending the majority of my time locked inside my darkened room, pacing, crying, and trembling with fear, one week of waiting for the doorbell to ring and for the police to show up, I finally found the courage to flick on the flat screen TV that hung above the marble fireplace in my room. My whole body tense, I pressed the buttons with my thumb, shifting through the channels, searching for anything that had to do with the events that had changed my life forever.
Nothing, not one snippet of news. Almost as if I had imagined it all. I couldn’t help wondering how Jude had made it all go away. But did it matter?
CHAPTER FOUR
I stood inside the walk-in closet and studied the clothes Jude had asked his assistant to buy me, expensive clothes I wouldn’t have a chance to wear again.
Last night I arrived at a decision. I was leaving. And I wouldn’t take anything more than the money he had given me—most of which I still had—and the clothes on my back. Waiting for something to happen and not being able to do anything unnerved me. The feeling of helplessness was getting to me.
Madison was no more than two hours away from Serendipity, but Serendipity was the last place I wanted to go back to. At least not yet. Even if I saw nothing in the news, the small town could possibly be crawling with police. I wasn’t about to walk willingly into my jail cell.
The money I had would be more than enough to get me as far as away from both Madison and Serendipity as possible. I’d find a small town to hide, where I could get a chance to glue the pieces of my shattered life back together. And hope the past never caught up with me.
But it was only midday. I’d wait until dinner, when Lin left to go home. I wouldn’t want her alerting Jude about my departure.
I crawled under the fresh bed sheets. The magnolia-scented fabric softener clinging to them made me think of my mother, of happier times, before Elizabeth left our lives.
Saturday used to be wash day. As I hugged a pillow to myself and closed my eyes, I could hear the distant sound of my sister giggling as I chased her around the bed sheets that hung to dry on the clothing line, fluttering like wings. I heard my mother tell us to step away before we dirtied them with our grubby hands, her tinkling laughter, her voice so soft and gentle even when she raised it.
I buried my face into the pillow and wept for the happiness I would never get back.
A noise outside pulled me out of my daydream, and I dragged myself to the window, feeling as if I’d been hit with a hammer. My heart slammed against my chest at the sudden thought that it could be the police. What if Jude had decided to do the right thing?
Relief flooded into my body when I saw Jude step out of a limousine, wearing a suit and sunglasses, the sun pouring down on him. As usual, he moved with graceful unhurried steps.
My heart twitched when I remembered my plans to leave without saying goodbye, after everything he had done for me. Now that he was back, my plans wouldn’t change. I’d only have to thank him for his help and then I’d walk out of his life.
He came straight to my room, asking if we could talk. Standing in my doorway, he looked handsome and distinguished as usual, his face clean shaven, dark hair glossy, suit wrinkle-free. But something was different about him. Faint, dark rings framed eyes whose sparkle had faded.. Something weighed down his features—exhaustion.
I followed him down the stairs and into the living room, where he leaned back against the leather couch with a barely audible sigh.
Sweat soaked the fabric under my arms. His presence both drew me in and intimidated me. I couldn’t help wondering how it would feel to have his arms around me, comforting me. It was crazy to think thoughts like that, but it had been such a long time since I had been with a man that cared for me, a man that handsome. It had been years.
He leaned forward and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Are you okay?” I asked, finding my sense of speech.
He turned to me. The tiredness I’d seen earlier no longer hovered over his features, as if suddenly erased. “Everything is fine. Just that my plans in the last few days were a bit hit and miss.”
“Problems with your business?”
He shook his head. “My business is in great shape. I was occupied with something else.”
“You were dealing with my mess, weren’t you?” I twisted the silver ring on my middle finger, as I often did when I was nervous. My mother’s wedding band. “I’m sorry for putting you through this.” I breathed in. “And thank you.”
He gave a small nod, causing a lock of hair to brush his forehead. He ran a graceful but strong hand through his hair and it fell back into the place he wanted it. “It was my choice to help you. It’s all taken care of now.”
I wrapped my gaze around his and for a moment we didn’t speak. My heart pounded so hard the sound echoed in my ears. I had to ask. “How did you…take care of it?”
“That’s not important.” His tone was firm, final. “What matters now is that you won’t go to prison. You don’t have to worry about it.”
“I don’t know how not to worry.” I bit my bottom lip, trying to keep the tears at bay. “It’s all I can think about. I get nightmares every night.” It amazed me that he could be so calm about it.
“You have to try and move on. You don’t have a choice. You have to forget the past.” He reached out a hand and touched mine for just a heartbeat before pulling away. But he left my skin prickling.
“I don’t know how to do that. What I did will always haunt me.” My voice was hoarse with tears that chocked my throat. “Maybe I should just…go to the police.”
“That’s the worst thing you can do. You’ll be making a huge mistake.” His voice was hard. “It’s no longer just about you. The moment I offered you my help and you accepted, I became part of this mess. I jumped through a lot of hoops to help you.” He paused. “There’s no going back now. Our lives are both on the line here. Do you understand that?”
I nodded and hot tears slid
down my cheeks. “Oh god, I’m so sorry about everything.”
“Don’t apologize.” He drew closer and the prickling on my skin intensified. My heart thumped so hard the sound vibrated inside my ears as I enjoyed his closeness. “Haley, you can’t turn back the clock.” He placed an arm around my shoulders. “The only thing you can do now is pretend it never happened, until you believe it.”
I leaned my head against his taut shoulder but he pulled away quickly, as if our contact made him uncomfortable. “Sorry about that.” He stood and moved to the window, far away from me.
“It’s okay,” I said. I kept my eyes downcast, twisting the end of my long, auburn braid. My heart ached. For the longest time I had no one in my life who cared. Having him close had felt so right, made me feel safe even for a moment. His reaction was just the push I needed. I had to leave before I got too attached to him, to his protection. I raised my chin and squared my shoulders. “I appreciate everything you did for me. I’ll no longer be your responsibility. I’ve decided to leave, today. I’ll be careful.”
“No,” he said, turning away from the floor-length window. He loosened his tie. “I can’t risk that. People who are afraid are vulnerable, they make mistakes. If you manage to get yourself caught, it will only be a matter of time before the trail leads back to me.”
“I can’t stay here indefinitely.” It still baffled me that a stranger would want to help me without asking for anything in return.
I wasn’t used to people being nice to me.
After the mess my mother left behind when she died, not one person offered to help. Not even after I lost the house. My mother had had quite a reputation, drinking herself into oblivion, owing people money, sleeping with married men. Living in a small town certainly had its drawbacks and they bit me in the butt big time.
What Jude had done for me in just a few days was more than anyone had done for me in years.
“I’m not asking you to stay indefinitely. Just until I can assure you once and for all that you’re completely in the clear. We have to exercise caution right now. One mistake and the handcuffs will click. You don’t want that. I certainly don’t want that.”
I rubbed my wrists, imagining handcuffs there. “How long? How long until it’s safe for me to move on?”
“Give it a month. Maybe a bit longer.”
I closed my eyes, and exhaustion washed over me. I was tired of crying, tired of being scared, tired from gazing into my bleak future. I forced them open again. “But I have a life to get back to, things to take care of.”
“All you have in your life are mountains of bills.” He paused. “I did a little digging.”
My stomach turned over with anger. “You invaded my privacy?”
“Before I could help you, I needed to know I could trust you.”
“Well I have to get out of here and find work. I have to pay those bills.”
“No need. Your bills are all paid off. Your debts are cleared. And the lease on your apartment has been canceled. When you walk out of here, you will have to start a new life. You can’t afford to look back, Haley.”
Heat rose up my neck and spread to my cheeks. I was stuck between being grateful for his generosity and furious for his invasion of my privacy. How did he even get hold of my private information?
“A few phone calls. That was all it took.”
I raised my chin and fixed him with a cool stare. “What you did could be illegal.”
“You needed help, I offered it to you. Are you really going to sit there and accuse me of doing something illegal?”
“You don’t even know me. I still don’t understand why you’re doing this.” He must have shelled out thousands of dollars to clear my debts. Debts I would never have been capable of paying off.
“I know enough to see you need someone on your side. As I told you when you arrived here, I’m a good person. The money was a drop in the bucket for me. I don’t expect repayment.” He shrugged. “If you really want to know, I’m paying it forward. A long time ago, I needed help and someone I didn’t know helped me. I’m offering you a new life here. All you have to do is take it.”
My anger toward him subsided. “Okay. Thank you.” Why he did it, how he did it, really wasn’t important. The important thing was that he had rescued me from some impossible situations. I couldn’t believe I no longer had to worry about my debts.
One the other hand, financial problems would have been good problems to have, compared to what I had to live with now. The guilt.
CHAPTER FIVE
A black and blue butterfly flew into my line of sight. As I swayed on the porch swing, I watched it flutter to the marbled edge of the fountain. The gardener was fussing around the lush foliage of the pink peonies near the edge of the man-made stream that cut Jude’s huge garden in half. The stream was still, as he had switched off the fountain to clean it.
The butterfly rested there for a while, flapping its wings back and forth¸ enjoying the peace and quiet that was only disturbed by the chirping of birds in the trees.
Memories of my father came to me accompanied by an ache. He used to call me his butterfly. I had no idea then that along with the beauty of a butterfly also came fragility. My father’s butterfly had not been prepared for the bends in the road ahead.
The butterfly spread its wings again and allowed the balmy breeze to carry it away.
I tipped my face toward the sun and closed my eyes, the mid-June heat warming my face. Thoughts of Jude entered my mind.
A few minutes ago, he had appeared on TV, being interviewed about how he came to be one of the richest men in America. While eating my breakfast, I’d listened attentively to his responses. I lived under his roof and didn’t know him. His answers were short and to the point, saying his success all boiled down to hard work, knowing what he wanted, and going out to get it.
I did learn though that he had a rocky childhood, that he’d dropped out of school after his parents died suddenly. After that he blocked any more questions connected to his personal life, simply stating that his struggles as a child had been a great motivator that led him to where he was.
He didn’t mention that there were no photos on his walls of someone he cared about, that he had no friends. He didn’t mention that there was absolutely no balance in his life, that he had given up his personal life for success.
Jude was a workaholic. Sometimes I wondered whether he ever slept. I hardly saw him because he was often out of the house every morning before I awoke, and came in late at night when I was already sleeping.
When he did show up, I was always caught off guard. I’d be eating a meal and feel the hairs at the back of my head rise. I’d turn around and there he would be, staring at me with his barely there smile, sending butterflies scrambling for space inside my stomach. I started looking forward to his unexpected appearances. I ached for them.
The days rushed by in a blur. After three weeks of living under Jude’s roof, loneliness caught up with me. The only people I saw on a daily basis were Jude’s housekeeper, chef, the cleaners, gardeners and other people who kept his home in order. Doing nothing but watching movies and reruns of Friends and Cheers had quickly become boring. I needed someone to talk to about more than just whether I needed anything to make my stay comfortable. I craved to go out, to go shopping with the money he had given me, to see people, to sit in a café somewhere. But Jude was adamant that during the time I agreed to stay under his roof, I had to keep a low profile.
I could hardly wait for the remaining two weeks to be over. Then I’d move into my own place and find a real job. If I chose to stay in Madison, Jude had offered me a studio apartment in a building he owned. I hadn’t decided yet. But I was lukewarm about leaving Madison, distancing myself from Jude. Although I did everything to fight it, I had become attached to him, to the security he offered me. And I was afraid of being on my own again, with only my nightmares to keep me company.
CHAPTER SIX
I eyed the full plate in fro
nt of me—steak with roasted potatoes. Dinner for one as usual. I stood up and picked up the plate and my glass of guava juice. Sitting alone at the two meter long glass dining table was too depressing. I’d eat in the living room in front of the TV.
I threw open the balcony door, inviting the balmy breeze in. On the couch, I had a perfect view of the full moon. I watched it for a while, day dreaming about happier times, and then I sighed and reached for the remote.
The doorbell rang, and the plate almost slid from my lap. I caught it just in time.
With my heart inside my throat, I padded barefoot across the living room, and walked out the glass door into the long corridor that led to the front door. I stopped when I reached it, breathing.
It’s not the police, I assured myself. It’s just Lin. Maybe she forgot her keys. No big deal.
I pulled open the door.
A man stood there, tall and muscular. He was balding but had a ponytail running down his back.
I swallowed hard. What was Nolan, Jude’s chauffeur, doing here so late, and without Jude?
“I’m sorry to disturb your evening, ma’am. Mr. Macknight asked me to deliver a message.” He handed me a slim envelope.
“Oh.” I took the envelope, a knot forming in the pit of my stomach. “Thanks.”
“He asked me to wait until you’ve read the note.” Nolan folded his hands in front of him, turned his face away as though to offer me privacy.
I opened the envelope and removed a sheet of fancy beige-cream paper, embossed at the top with the Macknight Inc. logo. Two lines of text were scrolled with a fountain pen in the center.
