Dear Agony

by Georgia Cates

  “You mean between Rose and me?”

  “Of course.”

  Vale looks absolutely giddy. “What’s your hunch?” I ask, already knowing what words will follow.

  “You’re going to fall madly in love with each other.”

  There are so many uncertainties in my life, but that’s not one of them. “I understand you love Rose and me, but that doesn’t mean we’re destined to love each other.”

  I’m not fool enough to believe I won’t form an attachment to her. I don’t think that can be avoided but it can never become romantic.

  “I’ve been doing this for a while. I’ve seen a lot of Duets and clients fall in love. It happens more often than you think.”

  I almost think it might be easier if I told her the truth. “Sorry. Not happening in this case.”

  “I guess we’ll see.” Nothing to see.

  Dying and falling in love. The two just don’t go together.

  ***

  “Okay, guys. This part is tedious and somewhat uncomfortable but trust me when I say that it will prevent a lot of problems later down the road.”

  Vale pushes her reading glasses up her nose when they slip down for the third time in the last two minutes. Shit gets on my nerves. “When are you going to get some decent glasses that don’t constantly slide down your face?”

  She lifts her eyes and glares at me over the thick black rims. “How ’bout you don’t worry about my glasses, okay?”

  “Forgive me, Madame Vale.”

  Rose giggles when I flash my uh-oh, I got in trouble expression. Vale’s eyes dart up and Rose’s face immediately transitions to pure professionalism. Until I wink at her and whisper, “You’d better stop it or you’re gonna get in trouble with the flesh-peddler too.”

  This boundaries and expectations process is too serious. Everybody needs to lighten up.

  “The hard copy of your companion agreement will include formal terminology, but we’ll use vernacular vocabulary for all intents and purposes during this meeting.”

  This is V in Madame Vale mode. No humor. Only professional. “Yes ma’am.”

  “You want Rose to live with you during the duration of the companionship, which remains undetermined at this time, and she has agreed.”

  “Correct.”

  “Where will she sleep?”

  Where does Vale think she’s going to sleep? “The guest room.”

  “She’s going to be a full-time resident in your house. Your home will be her home but her private living quarters need to suit her.”

  “She’s welcome to do whatever she wants with the room. It’s hers.”

  “Do you agree to a five-thousand-dollar allowance for her to change the room to her liking?”

  I want Rose to feel comfortable in the space she calls her own. “You can hire a designer to come in and change the room any way you like. No budget.”

  “Thank you. That’s very generous.” Her smile is so genuine, like she truly appreciates my offer. Not something I’ve often seen with the women in and out of my life.

  Vale taps on her keyboard with the tips of her perfectly manicured nails. “Sleeping arrangements. Bastien, you plan to sleep in your bedroom and, Rose, you plan to sleep in yours?”

  We voice our agreement at the same time.

  “I recommend that you add a clause stating that those boundaries can be amended at your own discretion. I understand that today your intentions are to never share a bed but unexpected things happen when you spend nights under the same roof.”

  I don’t want Rose to think I have any intentions other than the ones I’ve voiced. “I don’t think a clause will be necessary.”

  Vale stops typing and looks at me. “The clause is necessary. Trust me.”

  “Fine. Put it in there if you insist. But only if it’s okay with Rose.”

  “A clause is fine with me.”

  “You both say sex is a boundary you will not cross. That’s fine. We’ll list it as a hard limit for both of you, but I’m going to suggest you add a clause to that as well. Again, things happen when you spend night after night under the same roof.”

  Rose has turned a bright shade of scarlet and won’t look at me. I feel horrid that Vale has embarrassed her and I immediately have the urge to put her at ease again. “You’re making her uncomfortable.”

  “It’s discomfort now or later. I assure you it’s better to get all of this out in the open now.”

  I understand Vale is being a professional, but she’s sort of pissing me off with her harsh words. She should be more considerate of Rose’s feelings.

  I lean toward Rose so she knows my words are intended for her. “You don’t have to worry. I’ll never ask that of you. I promise.”

  Vale chuckles. “No one implied you’d be the one asking.”

  I open my mouth to give Vale hell but Rose interrupts. “Vale isn’t wrong. Unexpected things happen all the time in these arrangements. It makes sense for the clause to be there.”

  “Whatever you think you need to do, just do it.” Doesn’t matter anyway. Nothing romantic or sexual is going to happen between us. She’s gorgeous, but there’s no room for it in my plan.

  We spend the next hour going down a checklist of proposed circumstances—everything from hand holding to way more than even I’m comfortable discussing—and we either agree or disagree to the various acts. Everything gets a clause. Damn. Seems like it would be easier to just say we can do anything we want as long as we both agree to it.

  “Lastly, the duration and termination of the companionship. Rose, you are entrusted to Bastien’s care for a period not to exceed thirty-six months. Bastien may terminate the relationship any time prior to the end of those three years. Should there be an early termination, Bastien respectfully asks that you honor his wishes and end your companionship relationship without question or discussion. He’s adamant about those conditions. Do you agree to comply?”

  She hesitates a moment before answering, “I will leave whenever he wants.”

  The hurt I hear in Rose’s voice and see in her eyes make me feel like shit.

  “All right. I think we’ve covered everything,” Vale says.

  She was right. This process was a pain in the ass, but I see where it’s a necessary one. I have no questions about Rose’s expectations and boundaries and I’m confident she understands mine.

  I will get my wish . . . to not wither away alone.

  Chapter Seven

  __________________________________

  Rose Middleton

  ∞

  I can’t believe I met Bastien on Saturday night, drew up a deeply personal companionship agreement with him on Sunday, and now I’m going to his house to meet with a designer about the new decor of my bedroom.

  My bedroom.

  In. His. House.

  The last three days have been a whirlwind. I have no real way of knowing, but I think this companionship with Bastien Pascal is going to be good for me. It just feels right.

  I love the warm, welcoming smile beneath Bastien’s facial scruff when he greets me at his front door. “Good morning, Miss Middleton.”

  “Good morning, Mr. Pascal.”

  He takes my coat as I shrug out of it, and I’m reminded of when he did the same thing three nights ago. “Want to hear something funny?”

  “Always.” I don’t doubt that. I’m already attracted to his fun sense of humor.

  “I thought you were the steward when you answered the door Friday night. You looked too young to be the Bastien Pascal I was expecting.” And far too handsome and physically fit.

  “Guess we’re even since you were also younger than what I was expecting.”

  Bastien was unsettled during our initial meeting when he learned how much younger I am than him. I don’t like that our age difference causes him unease but I think it’s only a matter of time before he becomes comfortable with it.

  “When is the designer coming?”

  “Already here. She’s up
stairs looking at your room now.”

  I had hoped we’d have a little time to ourselves before she arrived. “I can’t believe you were able to find a designer on such short notice. And so close to Christmas.”

  “Everyone is available for the right price.” Just like I was.

  “Thank you for allowing me to change my room.”

  “Of course. It’s important to me that you’re happy here.”

  I genuinely believe him. Other than Vale, I can’t really say anyone has ever wanted that for me. “I truly appreciate that.”

  Bastien leads me up the grand, winding staircase. So typical for this nineteenth-century New Orleans home. Tons of character. I love it.

  We stop at the last door at the end of the hallway. “I thought you’d like this guest room best; it’s the largest and has its own sitting area and en-suite.”

  So far, Bastien is proving to be a very thoughtful, considerate man. “I’m sure it’ll be perfect. Thank you.”

  A tall slender woman stops measuring windows when she notices us. “Good morning. I’m Michelle.”

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Rose.”

  “You’re our lucky girl getting the new decor?”

  I very much feel like a lucky girl. “That’s me.”

  “Lovely. Are you ready to go to work on making this room beautiful and exquisite?”

  “Not sure how much help I’ll be but I’m excited about making this space my own.”

  “No worries, sweets. We’ll look at paint and fabric swatches this morning. You’ll tell me what you like, and I’ll make the magic happen. When you see this room again, it will be completely transformed.”

  After three years of residing with Vale, it’s hard for me to believe I’ll be living somewhere else. Her home has become my home. I’m going to miss her terribly, but I know Bastien will be fine with me seeing her anytime I like.

  I’m going from one swanky home to an even fancier one. It’s still hard for me to believe sometimes after the first nineteen years of my life.

  I grew up in a run-down house trailer. Didn’t even have a proper bed. I slept on a nasty mattress in the floor. I worried every night that the drooping ceiling tiles above me would collapse and the mice I heard scurrying around up there would land on my face.

  I’ve come a long way from that trailer park.

  “Give this girl anything she wants.”

  This girl. Not this woman.

  “I certainly will, Mr. Pascal.”

  “Come with me so I can show you how to lockup when you go.”

  I wonder if he expects a hug or kiss on the cheek when he leaves for work. Isn’t that part of being a companion? I’m not sure. We didn’t discuss that during our boundary and agreement meeting. I don’t guess it’s possible to cover every little detail. I’m sure some things grow organically as time goes by.

  I don’t mind a hug or kiss on the cheek if that’s what he desires but I don’t think he’ll expect them today. I haven’t even moved in yet.

  “There are a few leftover sweet potato biscuits in the top oven if you’ve not had breakfast. They’re pretty tasty with jelly.”

  Sweet potato biscuits sound delicious. “Marie-Grace’s recipe?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “I’ll put on some pounds with all this good eating if I’m not careful.”

  Bastien winks at me. I love when he does that. “You’re not living if you’re not enjoying good food.”

  I get the impression that Bastien isn’t concerned with my outer appearance at all. On one hand, I love it. He’s interested in me, the person. Not the outer shell. But I worked hard to get to this place. Exercise. Diet. Braces and headgear. Broken jaw to repair my severe underbite. Cosmetics. Hair products. It’s not easy when you start where I did.

  It took a long time before I could look myself in the mirror and repeat Vale’s words from day one. Only three years ago, but it feels like a lifetime. An incredible, unimaginable, remarkable lifetime. But I can now repeat those words. Rose Middleton is special and intelligent and beautiful and deserving of good things.

  Most importantly, I now believe them.

  He said he wants to show me how to lockup as though he’s expecting me to leave before he comes home. “Would you like me to stay so we can have dinner together?”

  “I’m expecting a late work day. Not sure when I’ll be home.”

  “I don’t mind waiting for you.” God, I sound eager to please. Too eager. He may not like that.

  “It could be really late. You should probably plan on going to Vale’s after you and Michelle finish.”

  Is it pathetic that I don’t mind waiting for him? Not because it’s my job. But because I want to.

  “Okay. If that’s what you want.”

  I follow Bastien to the keypad by the garage door. He demonstrates arming and disarming the alarm. “Zero one two four. Got it.”

  People typically use numbers that are significant in their lives as a passcode. I’m betting that is the case here. “Is that your birthday? January twenty-fourth?”

  “My brother’s. Mine is January sixteenth. You mentioned yours being next month as well?”

  “The twenty-third.”

  He didn’t mention a brother when we discussed his family the other night. “I thought you were an only child.”

  “I had a younger brother. Bernard. He passed away ten years ago.”

  Oh my goodness. Bastien has lost so many loved ones. Is that why he wants a loveless relationship? So he can share a connection without the commitment of love? “I’m really sorry to hear that.”

  “Thank you.”

  He retrieves his coat from the closet and slips it over his charcoal suit. “You never told me what kind of business you’re in.” I can’t believe I didn’t ask Vale.

  “Commercial real estate.”

  “You’re an agent?”

  “Used to be. I own the agency now.”

  Wow. He’s only thirty-six and owns the business. “That sounds like some serious determination.”

  “I’m highly driven, but I didn’t start on the ground floor of Pascal Properties Incorporated, PPI. It was my father’s firm. He passed the torch to me when he died.”

  “I’d love for you to tell me all about it sometime. At least, the business side of it. Not so much the real estate part.”

  “You’d be interested in that?”

  “Absolutely. I’m a business major. It’s my jam.”

  “I didn’t know that.” He chuckles. “Looks like we have things in common, and a lot to learn about one another.”

  “I think we do.”

  It’s surprising. And exciting. “I look forward to talking business with you.”

  “Me too.”

  “Have a good day.” Bastien holds out a key for me. “Just lock up whenever you and Michelle are finished.”

  He’s giving me a key to this place. My new home. Where I’ll live with my handsome, kind, thoughtful companion. Doesn’t seem real this is happening.

  “When will I see you again?” Letting him walk out of here without nailing him down on some kind of plan doesn’t feel right.

  “Michelle told me she’d be finished with your room late Wednesday. I’d really like it if you’d move in on Thursday.”

  Three days. Feels too long. “I won’t see you again until then?”

  “We’re losing two work days this week because of the holidays. Things are going to be crazy in the office so I’ll be staying late tonight, Tuesday, and Wednesday to get the work done.”

  I’d be wise to not forget that Bastien is a successful, driven businessman. He’s always going to put work first. “Silly me. I didn’t consider your holiday work schedule.”

  “I’ll hire movers to bring your things over on Thursday if that works for you.”

  “Thursday is good.”

  “Then it’s a plan. I will see you, Miss Middleton, in three days.”

  These are my final days of freedom before I become B
astien’s live-in companion. Shouldn’t I be feeling some sort of doom instead of seeing a glow of light in the dark? Is it wrong to feel joy?

  ***

  Bastien is handsome. Wealthy. Successful. Kind. Funny. He checks every box for what most women desire in a man. Yet, he is choosing to go through this process with a stranger. It doesn’t make sense to me. Something has to be wrong with him. And I want to know what it is.

  “Has Bastien ever been married?”

  Vale chuckles beneath her breath. Why is that funny? “No.”

  “Ever been in any kind of committed relationship?”

  “He’s not exactly a significant other kind of person. The most committed relationship he’s ever had was with a woman he was screwing around with off and on for five or six years. But I wouldn’t really call what they had a relationship. They used each other for sex. She was more of a trampy friend with benefits.”

  I’m surprised by how much I don’t like hearing that. “He doesn’t sleep with her anymore?”

  “Not after she decided she wanted to get married and have a family. Bastien wasn’t up for that so they called it quits. Sort of. She still works for him at PPI.”

  “He was sleeping with one of his employees?” I’m surprised Bastien would do something like that. Even I know that’s a bad idea.

  “I know. Totally stupid. I tried to tell him, but he enjoyed getting a piece of ass whenever it suited him. To top it off, she’s the daughter of one of his major business associates. Another terrible idea. Makes getting rid of her almost impossible unless he decides to sacrifice his relationship with her father.”

  “He has contact with her?” This woman he screwed for so many years?

  “Every day Monday through Friday. Her office is two doors down from his.”

  “Seems like it would be awkward continuing to work for the boss you used to sleep with.” I wonder if she flirts with him. Wears sexy clothes to work.

  “I think Wendy enjoys it. Immensely.” I can tell by the contempt in Vale’s voice she doesn’t think much of this woman.

  “I bet her husband doesn’t enjoy it.”

  “No. I suspect he didn’t, which may be the reason they’ve separated.”