by Sienna Hart
“Don’t, Elise. This is nothing a good, nourishing couple of days won’t fix.” She pulled me toward the shower and helped me in. She stayed with me talking about how her week had been going, and it actually felt good being in the company of people who genuinely cared about me.
After some hot soup and fresh vegetables, I felt almost human again. The girls sat around me and ate with me as I told them about Donovan, Michael, the guys who attacked me, and my vulnerability.
“I just feel like everything that is happening is like a tornado around me, and I don’t have any power to control it or stop it.”
“Why didn’t you come to us? You know we would help you.”
“I guess I just got so wrapped up in everything, I lost sight of who was really important to me. I’m sorry guys. I was selfish and I wasn’t thinking.”
“Well, now that we have you back, we won’t let you fall again.” Lillian was always so bubbly.
“So, what’s first?” Isabel was sincerely ready to jump in to my business with both feet.
“I guess I should figure out where I stand with Master Enterprises. I have an overflowing inbox, and I just....” Megan must have seen the overwhelming fear in my eyes, and she took the reins and ran with them.
“I’ll go through her emails and set them up in folders. I’ll print the ones that look important and go over them with you. Isabel, get her phone and write down all of her calls. You and Lillian can act as her secretary and call the important ones. Once we have a grip on all of that, we will attack this apartment.” We all looked around and crinkled our noses. I smiled genuinely and took Megan and Isabel’s hand.
“Thank you.” They squeezed my hands and Lillian hugged me tightly.
“Just don’t forget who scraped you up off the floor when you get all famous on us, huh?”
“You got it.”
“Now go meditate and get your mind back to reality. We will have a shitload of questions for you when you are feeling better.”
They buzzed around my desk as I got cozy on my yoga mat on the other side of the room. I watched them with a new feeling of hope and new expectations of what I would be able to accomplish.
Chapter 4
I smiled when I saw Donovan walk in the door. The waitress pointed toward my table and he grinned when he saw me. He didn’t say anything until he seated himself and ordered a scotch and water from the waitress. He took a deep breath and looked at me.
“You look good.”
“Thanks.” I looked down, trying to find the words to say. He bent down to look at me and I could see the sincerity in his eyes.
“Is everything going okay?”
“Yes. Really great.” I smiled. The silence was awkward as I struggled with my thoughts.
“I’ve missed you . . . really. I heard about the tough time you had a few weeks ago. I must have picked up the phone a dozen times to call you, but I didn’t know if you’d even talk to me. You were pretty angry when I last saw you.”
I picked up my water and took a sip.
“Elise? Talk to me, please. I’m sure you didn’t invite me to lunch to see how long it would take for me to beg you to talk to me.”
“I’ve been struggling a lot the last few weeks. I’ve realized that my life has changed . . . is changing and I’m trying to hold on to it all. It’s all new to me and I’m learning as I go.”
He was hanging on my every word, maybe because he was completely interested in what I was saying, maybe because he was trying to figure out what I was trying to say before I actually said it or maybe because he was just relieved that I was finally saying something.
“Regardless of what happened, I hope you know you can lean on me when you need to.”
I shook my head.
“I’m not so sure I can.”
His expression changed, and I could see my words upset him.
“I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s just that, when you told me about your sexuality and your relationship, I was leaning on you more than I should have. I felt like you yanked the rug out from under me. It was hard to recover from that.”
“I’m sorry, Elise.”
“It was my fault. I got too close and let myself in too far before realizing what your intentions were.”
“Can I be honest about something?”
“Sure, my barriers are already up.” I smiled, but he didn’t seem amused at my futile attempt at a joke.
“I was falling for you.”
“You . . . you what?” My heart started to swell.
“That’s why I kept letting it happen. I figured since I was in a relationship and you seemed to be okay with a casual sexual friendship, then everything would work out. I know it sounds horrible now, when I say it out loud, but it seemed okay at the time. When you told me how you really felt about me, I freaked. The whole thing scared the hell out of me and the only think I could think about was telling you the truth before it got too serious.”
“Wow. Donovan, I didn’t know. Would it have been such a bad thing if it did happen?”
“If I were single, then maybe. The girls I have been with in my career are just groupies or platonic sexual friends, and my partner is okay with that. When I met you, things changed. I tried to deny my feelings but every time we were together, I couldn’t help but get closer to you.”
I nodded, not really knowing what to say, so I blurted out the next thing that came to me.
“How long have you been with . . . your . . . partner?”
“Three years. His name is Jonah.”
“I didn’t know.”
“That would be my fault. I was afraid to come out and tell you I was bisexual . . . and that I had a long-term relationship . . . with another man.”
“I want you to know that I wish you both well. I’m so happy that you found someone you can rely on and love unconditionally. I mean that.”
“Thanks, Elise. It means a lot coming from you. Can we . . . you and I . . . still be friends?”
“Yes..but slowly. I need to build this from a different foundation.”
“I’ll take it.” We smiled and toasted each other to new beginnings. “So, tell me what has been going on lately?”
“After my mental breakdown, I pulled myself out of the hole I wallowed in, and with the help of my friends, we were able to save my career. I met with some local photographers and did a press release. I signed with Master Enterprises, and I’ve done a couple of campaigns with them.”
“Do they treat you well?”
“Very well. It was hard at first, but once I got into the swing of things and learned the ropes, everything got easier. I have people I can call on when things get tough. I have my own personal assistant, and the pay is unbelievable.”
“And the girls? How are your friends doing?”
“Oh I never told you! Megan is seeing Natasha.”
“My Natasha?”
I nodded.
“Oh my God.”
“She has been staying with her a lot lately, I guess. We could almost give up our apartment. Neither of us stay there much anymore. Isabel and Lillian are still doing the same things and loving it. We all try to get together when we can.”
“I knew things would work out for you, but you did have me worried there for a while. I’m just glad to have a chance to be a part of it again.”
“Me too.”
Donovan looked at me for a long time without saying anything.
“What?”
What about Michael?”
I tightened up.
“What about him?”
“You are sitting here giving me a chance again. Why not give him a chance?”
“It’s complicated.”
“I’m listening.”
“I mean, the relationship between us . . . it’s complicated. Being in the same business, feeling indebted to him for how far I’ve come, watching him kiss that woman that night . . .”
“He already explained about that, besides you weren’t technicall
y with him that night. You made that clear.”
I furrowed my eyebrows at him.
“And how do you know so much about what happened?”
“He and I talk. He has confided in me, more than once. Ya know, Elise, just because he is a successful businessman doesn’t mean he isn’t vulnerable at times.”
“Yeah, well . . .”
“This is one of those times. You got to him.”
“What do you mean . . . I got to him?”
He leaned toward me over the table.
“Stop being so stubborn and just talk to him. Give the poor man a chance. You gave me one.”
I smiled, hoping he would let it go.
“I have a great idea.” He was always coming up with great ideas. I always loved that about him. “Come with me to see Frida. A bunch of us are going. It’ll be great.”
“Who is Frida?”
“Not who . . . what. It’s a film about a crippled woman in a bad marriage.”
“Comedy?” I smirked.
“Ha . . . ha . . . ha. She uses the disadvantages in her life toward her life’s work. It’s supposed to be an eye-opening experience. Hey, even if it’s a shit film, there will be alcohol.” He smiled a goofy smile that made me laugh.
“I’ve missed you.” I looked at him feeling that familiar warmth he always gave me. I pushed it aside as quickly as I could. “Anyway, when are you going?”
“Tonight. I’ll pick you up at nine?”
“Sounds good . . . wait. Is Michael going?”
“He might show up.”
“Listen I appreciate you trying to hook me back up with him, but I really . . .”
“I don’t know if he is . . . or is not going to be there. All I’m saying is that I have gone to these things before and I’ve seen him there.”
I hesitated before finally agreeing to go.
“Pick me up at nine.” I smiled.
We finished our lunch, and he hugged me tight before leaving. I might have held on to him a moment longer than I should have, but it felt good.
Chapter 5
A few of us spilled out of the front door of the little theatre, laughing so hard we were crying.
“I can’t believe you got the attendant to show you his boxers.” I wiped my eyes. “Oh, Jonah, that was priceless. You can talk anyone into . . . or out of anything, can’t you?” He grabbed my arm trying to steady himself.
“How do you think I got Donner to go out with me?” We laughed again.
“Hey, in my defence, you were lookin’ mighty fine that night.”
“Dude, I look mighty fine every night.” He made a muscle and kissed his arm.
“Oh, pu-leeze. Get over yourself.”
I stepped back a few steps as I watched Donovan and Jonah in their little love fight. It was actually rather cute to watch. As if they both knew they were being watched, they stopped and turned to look at me.
“What?”
I giggled.
“Please, don’t stop on my account. I’m rather amused. I can’t wait to see you kiss and make up.” I was smiling ear to ear. They looked at each other and then back at me. Just before it happened, I knew what they were going to do. “Oh no! Don’t even . . .” Before I could finish my sentence they ran toward me and grabbed a hold of me. Donovan picked me up over his shoulder, and Jonah began spanking my ass.
“Oh come on, Jonah, you can do better than that.” Donovan reached up and pulled my skirt up. “Now . . . spank it.”
“Oh come on, guys. Put me down . . . .what the hell.” I tried covering my bare bottom as I felt Jonah’s hand strike over and over again. Donovan began twirling me around, and we both fell onto the sidewalk laughing so hard we couldn’t get up. Jonah sat next to us and looked around.
“I had a good time tonight. Elise, it was really good to meet you.” I put my hand out to shake his and he grabbed me, pulled me toward him and hugged me tightly. “Donner was right about you. You’re good people.” His smile was genuine.
“I can see why he fell in love with you.”
“I think we should take her home and make her our pet.” I looked back at Donovan and scowled.
“Pet?”
“Yep.” He started petting the top of my head. “We will feed you and bathe you.” He winked at Jonah. “If you’re a good girl, we might even let you sleep in our bed.”
As funny as he was trying to be, the thought of being in bed with the two of them stirred something inside me. Did I dare actually bring it up as a possibility? The best of both worlds . . . I slapped him in the chest.
“You wish. You can’t have us both, Donovan.”
He leaned forward and stretched his body around me, kissed me and smiled.
“I could.” He said raising and lowering his eyebrows.
I looked at Donovan with eyebrows raised, an expression that told him to be careful. It was probably the alcohol contributing to his lowered inhibition,s but he needed to know I was still very vulnerable with him and I couldn’t just have a good time with them and then walk away feeling okay with the fact that he was always going to be with someone else.
He stood up and offered me his hand. I took it and let him help me up. Jonah stood and brushed himself off.
“Let’s go back in and have a drink and talk about this.” I turned toward Donovan, a little pissed that he wouldn’t stop joking about it. When I looked at him, it rendered me speechless. He was serious.
“Donner, maybe we should give her a little more time.” I turned toward Jonah, astonished they were actually contemplating this.
“Have you guys have been talking seriously about this?”
He nodded and looked at Donovan.
“We would love it if you became part of our little family.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I looked at Donovan.
“Did what I say at lunch not sink in at all? It hasn’t even been twenty four hours and you . . . do you not care about how I feel?”
He leaned forward and kissed me.
“It sank in more than you know. We can have the best of both worlds, don’t you see?”
“Elise, Donner has told me everything about you, and I fell right in love with the whole idea of you. Tonight, when I met you, he was one hundred percent right and then some. You are an amazing, and very beautiful woman. Now I’m not accustomed to having sex with girls . . .” he made a sour face. “. . . but in your case . . .” he looked me up and down like I was eye candy, “. . . girl, I’ll make an exception.”
“You definitely know how to blow my mind, don’t you, Donovan?”
“Why should we go through life missing each other when we can still have the beautiful company of each other? I don’t see a problem with this.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Elise, talk to me.”
I looked down, trying to clear my head from the alcohol and everything else that was happening.
“I love you, Donovan . . . and I think Jonah is great, but I want something more in life, something wholesome and real. A true relationship.”
“I understand.” He pulled me into him and hugged me tightly. “I’m always here for you. I hope you know that. And whenever you want to get your kink on, you just call. We will rush to your bedside to help out a friend in need.”
I smiled.
“Cute.”
“Yeah, I am, aren’t I?” He puffed out his chest and smiled.
“I can’t stay mad at you, no matter how hard I try. Okay, one more drink and then I’m going home this way, and you are going home that way. Got it?” I scolded.
They both looked at each other and then at me. In unison, they put their heads down.
“Yes, Mom.”
We laughed and went back into the little theatre to have a nightcap.
* * *
When the cab pulled up in front of the theatre, we all got in and they allowed the cab driver to take me home first. It was a nice ride. I felt good with where we were in our relationship and agai
n in my life. Things were starting to come together for me again and I knew I had good friends to back me up if ever the waters got rough again.
The cab pulled up in front of my place, and I hugged Jonah.
“Thank you for an amazing time. I look forward to doing it again.”
“Absolutely.”
I hugged Donovan and kissed his cheek.
“Thank you . . .” I squeezed a little harder. “. . . for everything.”
“I should be thanking you.”
I got out and waved as the cab drove away from the curb. I stood there smiling as I watched it drive away. Reaching into my bag, I fumbled around for my keys.
“Elise.”
I spun around, startled at the sound of my name. Michael was sitting on the steps leading up to my apartment building. I turned to walk away and stopped. Where was I going to go? I turned back and looked at him, opened my mouth to say something, but didn’t have the words to say. I turned back around and started walking down the street. My bag fell off my arm, and the contents spilled onto the sidewalk.
“Fuck.” I could still feel the effects of the alcohol that night, and my thoughts were jumbling up in my head. I bent down to quickly and ungracefully stuff my things back into my bag before he could say anything else. I wrapped my fingers around my keys and his shoes came into view. Without looking up, I stayed low to the ground, secretly hoping he would walk away. I wasn’t ready for this.
He leaned down and slid his hand around my arm. He pulled me up and just looked at me. I couldn’t read his expression.
“Did you have a good time tonight?” he asked directly. I nodded without saying anything. “Good. Now it’s time we talk about some things.”
He wasn’t asking me and he wasn’t hoping it would happen. He kept his hand firmly around my arm and led me to my apartment. We reached the front door, and he stood there, patiently waiting for me to decide whether or not to unlock the door.
Chapter 6
I woke up with a dull throb in my head. Before opening my eyes, I lay there and let the thoughts from the night swarm in. I smiled thinking about Donovan and Jonah and how goofy they were. The way they tried convincing me to intimately be a part of their lives, how they would impact my future. They were such amazing people. As much as he loved me, he only wanted what’s best for me and for that I was grateful he was in my life. Michael popped into my thoughts. I covered my head, hoping that it would disappear. Did I dream about him? He was waiting for me on my doorstep. Did it make him look desperate? Was it real?
