Love Me Some Cowboy

by Lisa Mondello

  He forced air past the lump in his throat. “You keep telling me you want your life back. You have big dreams that...I can’t understand. But no one should keep you from going to Africa if that’s what you want.”

  “You know what's going to happen as soon as my father finds out–” She stopped short and stared blankly at him as if she were processing the series of events leading up to that moment. She lifted her hands and slowly brushed her dark hair away from her face with great control. “That’s what you want, too, isn’t it?”

  “They’re your dreams, Sunshine. Not mine. You should have the chance if you want is all I’m saying.”

  She sniffed back a sob and advanced toward him. For a moment, he thought she might be angry enough to strike him, and he had the gut reaction to take a step backwards. But Melanie held her hands stiffly by her side. She was too civilized for the kind of physical thrashing he'd seen at cowboy bars. Instead she leaned forward and placed her flat palms on the dining room table, glaring at him. “Liar. It’s a whole line of crap, Stoney. You’re trying to keep me safe.” She drew in a deep breath, her anger mounting. “You know my father will keep me from going to Kenya. He has the money to do it.”

  And he had nothing, Stoney said silently to himself. Nothing but a broken down ranch in need of a hell of a lot of hard work to keep it going.

  She was right, and what killed him the most was the coward he was being by not facing the truth himself. He knew if he’d told her about the offer with the Park Services, she would have considered staying in Wyoming. But he couldn’t keep her safe, and he had nothing else but his love to offer to keep her in his arms. That wasn’t enough. She deserved much more than he could ever give her.

  “I’ve got a rodeo to get to,” he finally said.

  She laughed wryly. “So that's it? End of discussion. You've got a rodeo to go to so why not take the easy way out.”

  Every muscle in his face tightened. He drew in a deep breath and lifted his head to look at her. He gasped softly when he was met by her shattered expression. Damn, he wanted to hold her. He wanted to tell her how much he loved and needed her in his life. Always. He wanted to drink in her heavenly scent and roll with her through the night, making sweet love under the stars like they had in the mountains. He wanted to hold her until the sun rose over the hills every morning. And he wanted his sweet Sunshine to have and to hold. But he had his pride. A man had to provide for a woman, even if she had her own interests. And he needed to keep her safe. If she stayed in Wyoming with him, in his arms, he couldn’t do either.

  “You think it was easy for me watching you go through hell and back out there in the mountains? You think it’ll be easy the next time you go out not knowing if you’ll be coming back to my arms?”

  She let out a quick breath, her shoulders sagging. “I can’t live in a bubble, Stoney.”

  “I’m not asking you to.”

  “Yes, you are. You want to keep me locked up just because you’re afraid. I can't live like that. Nobody can.”

  “Okay, maybe I am. But I don’t want to think about it every time you walk out the door. I never want to feel that helpless, not knowing if you’re slipping away from me again. I can't live like that, wondering if you're hurt or dying or–”

  She pushed at the duffel bag holding all his gear for the rodeo. “How is this different? You can stand here and tell me you don’t want me to take chances, but your own mother is a wreck about you going off to this rodeo today.”

  He forced his fingers through his thick hair. “She’s always been like this. It’ll be okay.”

  “How do you know? You've been hurt before. How can you be so certain some bull isn’t going to stomp all over you and you won’t be the one coming home? How do you think that makes me feel?”

  He reached out and tried to take her in his arms, but she flinched. As hard as it was, as much as he wanted to comfort her, he let her go. “I promise you. Nothing is going to happen to me.”

  She stared at him in disbelief. “You can't make that promise.”

  He knew she was right. He was being pigheaded and male and prideful. But dammit, he loved her. And he’d be damned if he was going to help her put herself in harm's way again.

  “Can't we just talk about this later? I have to go,” he said softly. “Are you coming with me?”

  He saw her full lips tremble, but her eyes were dry. “No,” she said, turning away from him toward the stairway. She gripped the railing and lifted one foot to the stair tread before she turned back and looked at him. The determined fire in her eyes said it all. “I’m not going anywhere if I stay here.”

  #

  Chapter Twelve

  STONEY RETURNED FROM the rodeo ready to celebrate his win only to find that Melanie had packed her things and left Black Rock. He'd asked her to stay with him in Wyoming. She hadn't given him any definite answer. Apparently, she'd made up her mind.

  He gave no explanation to his mother about Melanie's sudden departure. Since his foul mood had gotten the best of him, Adele didn't press the issue. He was grateful for that.

  The business of saving Black Rock took over most of his time, not giving him much more than the quiet hours of the night to think about how much he missed Melanie. They had to move quickly now.

  As Stoney had anticipated, Wally Buxton was madder than a bulldog whose bone was snatched from under his nose when he found out Stoney had approached Mitch about buying into Black Rock. It had taken a little persuasion, but in the end, his father agreed that it was the only way to save the ranch, and calmed enough by the time the men moiled through the paperwork. With a little more capital, they’d be able to get the loan. As hard as it was to give up a piece of the ranch, selling off an interest to Mitch would save their home and livelihood. When everyone finally emerged from the dining room, there had been plenty of handshakes and smiles. They’d found their miracle in the final hour.

  Stoney only wished he could find a miracle to help him with Melanie.

  Stoney strode into the kitchen, where he found his sister Delia crouched down, holding her young son Brandon by his chubby fingers. Brandon stood on shaky legs and proceeded to pull away from his mother's guiding hands. Stoney watched his nephew struggle with two steps, then rushed to place a hand under the baby’s little rump.

  “Should he be doing this already?” he asked Delia, worriedly. “I mean, he’s not even a year old yet.”

  Delia chuckled, pushing back a crop of thick dark hair that matched Stoney’s. “At this age, he’s going to do what he wants, and there’s no stopping him. Just let him go, and see how he does.”

  Tentatively, Stoney let the baby go, but he held his wide hand behind the toddler's rump just in case he fell backward. Within seconds his nerves had him picking up Brandon and cradling him in his arms. “Geez, Delia. He's just a baby. He's gonna fall and hurt himself.”

  Delia eyed him with a mock scowl. “Look, I’m not thrilled at the idea of this little bucket of trouble getting into everything and causing me more work, either. But it's not like I have a choice in the matter.” She took Brandon from Stoney and put him down until his bare feet touched the linoleum floor. As expected, Brandon wasted no time going back to his original task of walking. But as soon as he let go of Delia’s fingers, he wobbled and fell on his diapered behind. Tears immediately sprang in his eyes.

  “See? He’s not ready to walk yet,” Stoney said, picking up the sobbing baby and handing him over to Delia.

  “Try telling him that,” she said, jostling the baby up and down until his crying subsided. “I can't coddle him or he’ll never know what he can do on his own. If I have to hold my breath with my heart in my throat, then so be it.”

  Stoney rumpled Brandon’s wisps of hair. It was amazing. Even with the crocodile tears staining his chubby cheeks, he was already itching to get out of his mother’s arms and back to the floor.

  “And what if he hurts himself?”

  Delia touched Stoney’s arm and said softly, “
Then I pick him up and love him and let him go at it again.”

  Stoney slumped against the doorjamb, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t know if I could do that.”

  “Sure you can. You’d have to, Stoney. You of all people should know you can’t keep a wild spirit tame.”

  He threw his sister a wry grin. “I’m talking about my nephew.”

  “So am I. You’ve been riding anything that dared to buck you off since you were able to run across the barnyard, driving Mom and Pop insane in the process. This little one is going to do what he wants regardless if anyone thinks different. You can’t hold him back or his little spirit will wither up and die.”

  Stoney stared after Brandon as he held on to the wall and inched his way over the marble threshold from the kitchen to the dining room. There was no stopping the baby from getting what he wanted. It reminded him of Melanie in a way. Pushing herself, kicking up a fit when all he wanted to do was keep her from getting herself into trouble.

  Regret suddenly filled him. Was that what he’d done? Had he tried to kill Melanie's spirit by keeping her from her dreams? That’s what she’d been fighting her whole life since she’d been diagnosed with diabetes. He had his fears, but he had no right letting them kill her ambition.

  He closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall. He was such a hypocrite. It took the wisdom and determination of a baby to open his eyes to the fool he’d been.

  And he missed Melanie more than he ever dreamed he would. How was he going to fix the mess he made this time?

  * * *

  EDMOND T. SUMMERS III sat in his leather easy chair and took a long drag from his expensive cigar. “I spoke with Leonard Lawrence this afternoon. The team is leaving for Kenya on Friday.”

  Melanie sat on the soft leather chair opposite her father with one long leg crossed over the other. “Thank you for continuing your support. It means a lot to me that all their work won’t be a waste.”

  “Only you wish you were going with them,” her father said, taking another puff of the cigar he held tightly between his thumb and index finger.

  She sighed. If she’d never gone to Wyoming, if she’d never known what love could be in the arms of a man like Stoney Buxton, then yes, she’d be wishing she was boarding that plane to Africa with the rest of her colleagues. There was a time she’d wanted it so much she could taste it.

  She’d always been so focused. Kenya had been her goal. She’d had big dreams and hopes for the future that didn’t include cowboys, and ranches, or the Wyoming wilderness. But in Stoney’s arms, all those dreams seemed small, just like she’d felt swimming in the hot spring under the stars that night. Africa was just another continent. Her big dreams had somehow faded. The only thing she longed for now was to feel Stoney’s arms wrapped around her, feel him nuzzle her neck.

  She couldn’t erase all that had happened to her. She couldn’t forget the dark-eyed gaze that turned her mind to mush, and Stoney’s slow, sexy grin when he teased her. No matter how things had ended for them, she didn’t regret loving Stoney. It had changed her in a way she never imagined it could.

  Stoney had believed in her and allowed her to flourish. He didn’t coddle her when it came to pulling her weight. He trusted her to make her way across the river after the rainstorm, even though her own fear forged forward, and she doubted herself. He believed in her like no one else had ever believed in her before.

  That is, until he found out about her diabetes. Then he became like everyone else in her life. She could learn to pitch a tent, and cross the river, or anything else she set her mind to. The one thing she couldn’t do was make her diabetes go away. She’d live with that for the rest of her life. And living with it, Stoney would always fear for her safety, just like her parents had her whole life.

  “Actually, Dad, I’m thinking of going to the Florida Keys,” she finally said.

  Her father’s face perked up, and he pulled the cigar from his lips. “I think that’s a fine idea. A little vacation down at the Keys may be good for you after the ordeal you’ve been through. If you don’t mind, I think your mother and I may just join you.”

  She drew in a slow breath. She’d fought too many battles over the years and regretted the one that was about to come. “I’d love for you to visit me in Florida.”

  Edmond’s bushy white eyebrows narrowed. “What do you mean visit? You sound as if you’re planning to live there.”

  “I hope to. I’ve applied for a position as a naturalist in the Everglades.”

  Edmond T. Summers sat up straight and dropped his cigar in the brass ashtray on the mahogany end table next to his chair. “We’ve been all through this. Haven’t you learned your lesson after this Wyoming wilderness fiasco?”

  “Yes, I have.” She stood up, as she always did when she was trying to stand her ground.

  “You almost got yourself killed.”

  “You’re right.”

  “Your medical condition is so delicate–”

  “Look, Dad, I made a lot of mistakes in Wyoming. The biggest mistake was not telling Stoney about my diabetes right from the start. I won’t be making that mistake again. But I’ve learned a lot and I know what I’m capable of now. I can do this job.”

  She drew in a deep breath for strength, knowing this was the last battle she intended to have on this subject. And it was one she was going to win at all costs. She was surprised at how good it felt.

  “I have diabetes. I’ll always have diabetes. But that’s not all I am. I discovered how incredibly strong I am. I thought I needed to prove that to you by going to Wyoming, but what I realize is that I needed to prove it to myself, too. And do you know what? I have. I’m not going to be foolish enough to hide my medical condition anymore, but I’m not going to hide behind it, either. I have a lot to give, and a lot to experience, and I’m going to do it. Stoney helped me–”

  “You almost died in the hands of that man,” Edmond said tightly.

  “I almost died because of my stupidity. Stoney saved my life. If I’d told him the truth from the beginning, I never would have been caught without my insulin. I would have made it through the whole month. And then I’d be on that plane to Kenya this Friday with all the others.”

  Or maybe not, Melanie couldn’t help but wonder. If she’d stayed in Wyoming for the full month, would things have been different with her and Stoney? If she had never gotten so sick, would he have had the faith to tell her about Ivan Collins' offer? Would he have told her he loved her?

  No, she couldn’t think about that anymore. She’d already spent too long crying about how she missed the sound of Stoney’s voice, knowing it wouldn’t be a part of her life again. Although they’d loved each other passionately, he’d never once told her that he loved her, that he needed her as much as she needed him.

  Her father was standing now. His expression was fiercer than she'd ever witnessed before. “When the people at the Park Services hear about your medical condition–”

  “They already know, Daddy. I told them everything, including what happened in Wyoming. I’m not going to go through that again. And you know what? They still want me to come down and talk to them about the position. And I’m going. There isn’t anything you can do to stop me.”

  His face was fiery red and unforgiving as he turned away from her. She hated that it had come to this. She only wished that instead of heartache, he could finally be happy for her, for what she strived to achieve.

  “I can’t live the life you want for me, Daddy.”

  “You're not going. I forbid it,” he thundered, swinging around to face her. He picked up his cigar again, and gripping it tight between his long fingers, he sliced the air. “I’ll cut you off. You’ll not get one penny of my money to help you kill yourself.”

  She’d expected as much, but she was prepared for this. Not that her own bank account was filled with the kind of money to keep her living the lifestyle she’d grown up with, but there was enough to get her started somewhere. If n
ot the Everglades, then somewhere else. She was armed with something much more than money could ever buy. She had confidence in herself. And no matter how much it hurt to think of him, she had Stoney to thank for that.

  “It’s okay, Daddy. I love you and Mom, and I thank you for everything you’ve given me. But it’s time I stood on my own two feet.”

  He was silent as she turned away from him. She walked to the door, wishing with all her heart that he could accept her for who she was. But that wasn’t going to happen. It was going to take time to ease the grip on twenty three years of fear and control. But she’d be there when he came around. With love and wide open arms.

  * * *

  “DADDY’S NOT COMING to dinner with us?” Melanie said to her mother, already knowing the answer she was going to receive.

  As usually Lorna Summers sidestepped the turbulence that caused the unrest in the Summers’ household. She was a natural born diplomat, which had always been an asset to the family business. No one threw a cocktail party like Lorna or cooled a heated money debate with stuffed shirted businessmen as well.

  “Something came up at the office,” Lorna offered in explanation.

  Melanie drew in a long breath and gave her mother a weak smile. “You don’t have to cover for him, Mom. I know he’s still angry with me. But I thought he’d at least join us for dinner tonight before I have to leave tomorrow.”

  “Sweetheart, you can’t ask him to be what he can’t be.”

  Melanie laughed at the irony. It was so easy for her mother to accept who her father was, but she couldn’t seem to accept it in Melanie. She knew her mother didn’t understand what was driving her to leave, or what the cause of her sadness had been since she’d returned from Wyoming. Other than inquiring about her health and fussing after her, Lorna had steered all talk away from Stoney.

  In the beginning, Melanie was grateful. Every time she’d allow herself to think about Stoney, she’d break down. Lorna wasn’t a stupid woman. The bonds of their mother-daughter relationship had always included an unspoken language. She knew how to read her daughter and had simply chosen not to acknowledge that Melanie was suffering from a broken heart.