Lost Before You (Heart's Compass Book 2)

by Brooke O'Brien

  “What the hell was that about?” I ask, turning toward Brea.

  “He’s upset about our fight from the other night is all. I’m fine though; it’s not a big deal.”

  “Not a big deal, Brea? I walked around the corner and see this fucker intimidating you and the scared look on your face. I know you better than this, Brea. This isn’t something little to be waved off like it’s nothing. Has this happened before?”

  I can tell by the flash of anger in her eyes as she grits her teeth, that she didn’t like my question.

  “No, he has never gotten angry like this,” she grunts. “What the hell? Do you think I’d stay with him if he did?”

  “I’m fine though, I swear. I’m upset of course, but I’ll be okay. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get ice from the cooler and check on my tables. I’m sure they’re wondering where I’m at by now.”

  “Don’t worry about the ice. I’ll get it. If that asshole comes around again, I want you to tell me.”

  Following Brea out, I stop and pull out a bag of ice before lugging it with me to the bar. As soon as I round the corner, I find Graham leaning against the bar as he surveys the crowd.

  “How’s she doing?” Graham yells over the music as he leans against the wall. I break open the bag of ice and pour it into the cooler. The music is thumping through the speakers, making it hard to hear.

  “She’s acting like Brea, pretending like it didn’t happen or like it’s not bothering her,” I shout, wiping my hands off on my towel.

  “Did you take care of him?”

  Graham leans back against the bar and doesn’t say anything, only nods his head before searching the crowd for Lissa and Brea, checking on them.

  A petite blonde saddles up to the counter and waves her hand at me, getting my attention. Sliding my hand along the bar, I lean closer to her.

  “What can I get you?” I shout.

  “I’ll take a dirty martini.” She smiles, running her finger along her lower lip as her eyes roam over my body. Taking a step back, I pick up a clean glass from underneath the bar and pour the ingredients into the cocktail mixer.

  Dropping the olive in her drink, I slide the glass toward her and flash her my signature smile. I watch as her eyes light up as her tongue darts out, licking the tip of her finger before bringing the drink to her mouth.

  Shaking my head, I don’t bother feeding into the attention she’s craving. Turning my head toward the server station, I see the annoyance on Lissa’s face as she looks back and forth between the petite blonde and me. Behind her, I see Brea turn her head as she saunters toward her tables.

  Shit, I hadn’t even noticed the two of them approach, and I know it looked worse than it was.

  “Are you ever going to grow the hell up, Mason Reid?” Lissa yells, walking behind the counter and starts fixing her own drinks. By the way her arm jerks with the bottle in her hand, she’s pissed.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me,” she says, stopping what she’s doing as her eyes run over my face. Her eyes narrow as if she’s waiting for me to give her the answer she’s looking for.

  “You want her,” she yells, and I can feel my body tense. The sound of Graham’s deep laugh behind me has me gritting my teeth. “You want her, Mason. We all know it but the question is, do you?”

  “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

  “Riiiiiiight.” She laughs, sliding the bottle of vodka on the shelf. “I’m still not buying it. Listen, I’m going to cut to the chase because I don’t have time or patience for your cat and mouse bullshit right now.”

  Her blunt and straight to the point response is earning another laugh from Graham. I can’t help but flash him a “fuck off” look. Any other time the guy doesn’t say more than two words, much less show emotion, and here he is laughing like this is the funniest god-damn thing he’s heard all day.

  “I know what happened between the two of you at Dean’s house the other night. If I’m honest, I’m surprised it took as long as it did before it happened. Maybe you’re still in denial, or maybe you’re just stupid, but don’t fuck with her heart. You like taking women home with you, but you and I both know, Brea deserves far fucking more than some one-night stand. I would expect something like this from some douche fucker like Kaleb, but I don’t from you. So, do us both a favor, figure out what the hell you want and quit fucking with her.”

  She picks up the drinks and slides them onto her server tray before spinning and facing me. She’s close enough to where I can hear her without yelling. I don’t say anything, just watch as she leans in closer and says, “You want her, Mason. We all know it,” she says, looking over at Graham and raising her eyebrow. I know he heard her as he simply nods his head before looking at me.

  Looking at me, I see the smug look on her face. “So, the question is, what are you going to do about it?”

  She doesn’t wait for me to respond as she turns and walks to the other side of the bar. Graham doesn’t stick around either, following along right behind her.

  The club is packed, but the area near the tables is less crowded, leaving room for servers to get through to the tables lining the club. My eyes roam, trying to spot Brea, but it’s hard beneath the dim lights.

  I try to busy myself helping customers but I can’t help replaying the words Lissa said as my eyes seek out Brea in the crowd of people. I’ve known how I feel about Brea for a long time, but have fought against it for months, telling myself it’s time to move on after seeing her happy with Kaleb.

  When she told me about what he did and then proceeded to tell me she was going to go into the party to find someone to hook up with, I felt like I could hear the blood rushing in my ears and my heart nearly beating out of my chest. It was hard enough to hear and see her with Kaleb. I’ll be damned if I was going to watch her march in the house to find someone to take his place.

  Over my dead fucking body.

  It never dawned on me after all this time, our closest friends may have seen what I am feeling for her, too. I’ve worked hard to hide my feelings from Brea, respecting her and Kaleb’s relationship. Trust is so important to Brea, and I would never want to lose hers.

  It’s a sure-fire way to drive a wedge between us.

  Having someone confront me about her, asking me what my next moves are, takes me by surprise. After Brea and Kaleb had been together for more than six months, I honestly gave up the notion I would ever get a chance with her. She was happy with him, I could see it. Not to mention, they just broke up. It’s not like she can get over him and the hurt of what happened overnight, regardless of her wanting to ease the sting.

  Turning my head toward where she’s serving tables, my eyes immediately lock with hers and I feel it knock the wind out of my chest. She’s so goddamn beautiful. Her hair is pulled into a high ponytail. The long strands are curled in waves, hanging down her back. The makeup she’s wearing is a little heavier than normal, but she still looks beautiful. I prefer her fresh faced, dressed down in her yoga pants and a t-shirt like she often wears when we are hanging out, but she’s breathtaking like this, too.

  I watch as her eyes search my face as she approaches the counter, sliding her tray onto the server station. On nights where we’re busy, we try to help the servers with their drinks, but sometimes it can be hard to keep up. I don’t care now though; I want an excuse to talk to her.

  Approaching her, I lean in close to the side of her face and whisper in her ear. “What can I get you?”

  I feel her body heat having her close to me, and her body tenses as my mouth rests near her ear. Leaning back, I meet her eyes and watch as they dilate from our proximity.

  “Jack and Coke,” she whispers loud enough for me to hear. I feel her heated breath against the edge of my lips. She darts her tongue out, wetting her lips before she continues. “And…sex on the beach.”

/>   I know she’s talking about a drink, but I can’t help the grin that takes over my face. Grabbing the bottle of vodka off the shelf, I turn around to face her.

  “Coming right up,” I shout before flashing her a wink.

  I never thought of myself as the type of person who avoids problems, but it’s exactly what I’ve been doing for the past week.

  Mason and I haven’t talked about the night we spent together. Aside from a few text messages and small talk at work, we’ve hardly spoken to each other. Even then, I’ve done a fairly good job of keeping the conversation short and steering clear of him. I know we promised nothing would change between us, but I can’t stop thinking about our conversation in the locker room. I still haven’t been able to ask him what it was all about. Maybe I’m just embarrassed he’ll say he regrets it.

  I don’t want to feel like I’m every other girl he’s been with. I would hope it would be different between us, but I know I shouldn’t expect more than what it is. I wanted a night with meaningless sex and it’s what I got, right?

  As hard as it is to admit, I’m at the point where now I just miss my friend. I miss the person who was my friend first. Who, when I needed someone, he would come to the rescue. I want it back.

  I haven’t spoken to Kaleb and, thankfully, he’s stayed far away from Velvet. It doesn’t mean he hasn’t tried to reach out to me. The twenty-seven missed text messages in my phone say something different. I haven’t brought myself to read them yet either.

  The past few weeks I’ve done nothing but stress myself. Stress about relationships, school, and finances. I’ve come to terms it’s something I’m going to have to pay on my own, because like everything else going on in my life, I’m avoiding my father, too.

  After talking it over with Lissa, I decide to move home and stay with my mom during the summer. I’m going to work a couple of jobs and put money away in savings. Thankfully, Lissa’s cousin has decided to come stay with her. It will work out great because she agreed to sublease my room until I come back this fall. I wouldn’t go through with it though, if it was going to put her in a bind.

  Now I just need to get through the last few weeks of school. Slamming the textbook shut, I sit back against the seat of the couch and let out a huff. I’ve spent most of the day studying for an Algebra test I have tomorrow and Monday. Math has never been my strong suit, and all these long problems make my head spin. You want me to solve for x? I can’t even solve my own ex-problems or best friend problems, so you’re asking the wrong girl.

  I can’t help but laugh at my own joke as Lissa walks into the living room.

  “What the hell is so funny?” She stops, turning to look at me.

  Tilting my head up, I look at her as my bangs slide in front of my eyes. Blowing the strands out of my face, I flash her a crazy smile, which only adds to her concerned look.

  “I think I need a break.” I laugh as I muster up the strength to stand and meander toward the door.

  “I’m going to go for a walk to The Coffee House,” I say, slipping on my shoes. “I’m going to need more caffeine if I’m going to spend the rest of the night cramming.”

  “Yeah, you may want to get a bottle of wine, too.”

  “Cause that will help me with studying?” I jest.

  “No, but it will certainly help me,” she jokes.

  Rolling my eyes, I slide my sunglasses over my face. I grab my keys and slide my debit card and wallet into my pocket.

  “Hey, I was meaning to ask you, have you and Mason talked about your conversation in the locker room?”

  With my keys clutched in my palm, I run the back of my hand along my forehead before looking at her and shake my head.

  Grumbling, she replies, “He needs to get his shit together.”

  She’s looking out for me, and I know she’s frustrated.

  “What more is there to talk about? If it hasn’t been said yet, I’m not sure if we’re ever going to. I’m ready to just move on.”

  Tossing a goodbye over my shoulder, I head out the door. While on my walk, I do my best to clear my head and enjoy the fresh air. The time flies by quick. Opening the door to The Coffee House, the strong aroma of coffee hits me. I was used to it from my days working here as a barista, but walking in the door has me feeling like I’m at home.

  Joining the long line forming near the door, I slide off my sunglasses and hang them from the front of my shirt.

  “Look who it is, stranger.” The sound of Mason’s gravelly voice behind me causes me to momentarily tense as I spin on me heel.

  “Would you look at that,” I say, doing my best to hide my surprise in seeing him here and finding him not alone.

  Immediately I regret my decision to just run out the door, wearing only a pair of leggings and a dri-fit t-shirt and my hair rocking a day-old ponytail. I look like I’m getting ready to work-out when all I’ve been doing is lounging around all day.

  Looking next to him, I flash Sierra a smile before turning my attention on Mason.

  “What are you two up to?” I ask, forcing a smile on my face. While it’s what I say out loud, I’m mentally screaming “what the fuck” over and over.

  Smooth, Brea.

  “We have a group project due tomorrow. I needed to refuel so we are stopping by here quick before heading to her place to work on it.”

  I can’t ignore the way my stomach bottoms out hearing they’ll be going to her place. Especially when I know they have a history of hooking up in the past. More than once even, which even I know doesn’t happen often with him.

  I hate how insecure it has me feeling.

  “Sounds like fun,” I say, coming out sounding overly chipper. Far more enthusiastic than anyone getting ready to go work on a school project. “That’s what I’m here doing, too. I’ll be heading home, just me. Going to work on studying.”

  I want to cringe at my choice of words. Of course, it’s just you, you idiot. Who else would you be going to hang out with? It’s not like you’re like Mason, with a new guy draped on your arm every time you turn around.

  “Hey, you!” Sara cheers from behind the counter, a bright grin on her face, saving me from this torturous conversation. “It’s great to see you! Please tell me you’re thinking about coming back for the summer. I miss you here.”

  The mention of this summer with Mason behind me has me wanting to divert this conversation to safe territory quickly. I haven’t yet broken it to him that I’m heading home during the summer. I’ve been rather busy lately avoiding him and all. I don’t want to announce it with him standing right behind me, having him overhear me tell someone else.

  “You know, I’m not sure what the summer will bring.”

  Ordering my frappe and a muffin, I stand off to the side as Mason and Sierra order their drinks. Pulling out my phone, I pretend like I’m engrossed in whatever is on my screen like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. I’m terrible at this avoidance thing.

  “Thanks, babe,” I say as soon as Sara hands me my drink and muffin. “Text me soon so we can get together for lunch.”

  I grab the bag and turn to head out, already over this attempt to evade studying. I almost wish I would’ve just stayed home and tried to solve x’s problems.

  “See ya around.” I smile, giving a small wave of my fingers as I slip my sunglasses on.

  “Yeah, alright. Bye, Brea,” Mason says. I don’t have to look behind me to know he is watching me.

  As soon as I’m outside and ambling down the sidewalk, I let out a deep breath.

  “Jesus fuck,” I grumble to myself as I take a drink.

  “What was that about?” I hear as my back tenses before coming face to face with Mason once again.

  “Good lord, you need to wear a bell. I didn’t hear you. You’re like a ninja.”

  I press my hand against my heart. Mason raises his
eyebrow, and I know I’m caught.

  “What? Nothing! It was nothing.”

  I’m thankful for my sunglasses providing me with a layer of protection from Mason. I know all too well how he likes to try and read my thoughts like a fucking book. Not working this time. I force another drink to save me from the awkward silence.

  “Listen, I wanted to make sure everything was okay. I know we haven’t talked much or hung out lately, which is mostly my fault. Everything with my dad and school has been a lot.”

  As soon as he mentions his dad, I feel like a complete asshole. I’ve been so focused on what has changed from our night together, and the time we spoke at the club, that I never thought about how things have been going with him and his dad. With everything he’s been going through, I know he feels pressured to be there for him.

  “It’s okay; we both have stuff we’ve been dealing with and have been busy. I hope everything is going okay with your dad.”

  He rubs his hand over his forehead, and, for the first time since we ran into each other, I notice the tension in his shoulders and the stress on his face.

  “I was hoping maybe we could make plans to hang out soon. The Cavs play the Bulls tomorrow. Maybe, uh, maybe we can watch it together. I just really miss you.”

  I swallow the guilt I feel rise in my throat. Whenever we would hang out just the two of us, we often would turn on basketball and watch the games together.

  “I miss you, too,” I sigh, smiling at him. It’s the truth. I can’t help but want to see him and hang out with him like we used to.

  “That sounds perfect. I will probably be studying. Text me and let me know what time you’re thinking.”

  I see Sierra walk out of The Coffee House, looking for Mason. When her eyes land on him, I watch as her face lights up until she sees me staring at her just over his shoulder. I am getting all too familiar with what it feels like to see him the way she does.

  “It looks like your friend is waiting for you,” I say, pointing over his shoulder. He turns his head and motions to her he’ll be just another minute.