Lost Before You (Heart's Compass Book 2)

by Brooke O'Brien

  “If this is my last night with you, I need to get my fill of you before you go. We’ll start here because I can’t wait, but this won’t be the last time.”

  His mouth curves up on one side. The smirk on his face makes my stomach do a flip.

  He climbs in with me, sliding his hand along the back of the seat. His hand runs along the side of my face, kissing me deeply.

  “I always knew it would be like this between us,” he says, running my hand along his chest, letting me feel the rapid beat of his heart. “You make me feel things I’ve never felt before. Crazy things, Brea.” He searches my eyes before grabbing my face, pressing a soul-shattering kiss against my lips.

  When we break apart, I see the change in his eyes. The sweet, romantic side of Mason is gone and has been replaced with a look of fiery, passionate side.

  Sitting back, he runs his tongue along his lower lip.

  “Unzip your pants and come here. I need to feel you.”

  Pulling out of the restaurant parking lot, I run my fingers along my mouth. They tingle from Mason’s rough kisses. The heady mix is leaving me light headed.

  Peering over at him, I watch as he adjusts himself in the seat. I bite my lip watching him, knowing what we did merely took the edge off but wasn’t enough to sate the need growing between us.

  He doesn’t tell me where we are going, and I don’t even bother asking as he grasps ahold of my hand, driving us across town. As soon as we get closer, I know where we are. The sun has begun to set, painting the sky a beautiful hue of orange, purple, and blue.

  One of my favorite parts about living in Chicago is taking a walk along the Navy Pier. I love how beautiful and peaceful it is right before sunset.

  It takes a few minutes for us to find a spot to park. After we pay for the meter, he grabs my hand and we walk along the water. Neither of us says anything nor do we move to let go of each other’s hand.

  “There are times when I miss being home in Arbor Creek,” he says after a while, breaking the silence. “It’s very different from living in Chicago and the fast-pace life. Arbor Creek is small, hell, it would probably take you ten minutes to walk the span of downtown. It’s quiet and peaceful. I’d love to take you there some day, show you what it’s like.”

  Turning my head, I look up at him and I feel warmth in my chest as I think about visiting where Mason grew up and meeting the people who made him who he is today.

  “I would love that.” I smile.

  He raises our joined hands up to his mouth, pressing a small kiss along the back of mine. He traces his lips along the skin, and I feel myself let out a deep breath at how my body reacts to his touch.

  We approach a spot along the water. It’s truly beautiful with the sunset as the backdrop. I stop to look at the view, leaning in close to the railing.

  “It’s so beautiful,” I whisper as Mason leans in close behind me.

  With his arms surrounding me, we stand here in the quiet stillness watching as the sun sets and the water laps against the rocks. The downtown lights cast a soft glow on the distant edge of the water.

  “Yes, you are,” he sighs, leaning his head close to my shoulder.

  Running my hands along his arms, I wrap our fingers together. Up until this point, I haven’t allowed myself to think about how much I’m going to miss Mason when I’m gone.

  So much has changed between us in the past two months. We haven’t discussed what is happening between the two of us. Tonight when he called me his girl, something in me changed. I can’t help but wonder if he only said that because his past was standing in front of us.

  Either way, it made me realize regardless of what is going on between us, I don’t want him to feel obligated to continue with this while I’m gone. He’s never been one to commit to anything serious, and I can’t expect him to wait for me until I get back. More importantly, I don’t want to risk losing who he is to me. Distance can weigh heavily on a relationship. It isn’t fair to put that kind of strain on us before we really have a chance to see what this could be.

  I make myself a promise to tell Mason before I go that I don’t expect him to wait for me. I want him to be happy, and if someone comes along while I’m away that does, I want him to know it will never change who he is to me.

  As much as it would hurt to never again feel the way I do when we’re together, or have his lips on mine, I would much rather have him in my life as a friend than not at all. The truth is, I don’t know what I would do if I lost him. So, I’ll hold onto whatever I can have, even if it means loving him all alone.

  Pushing open the door to the gym, I jog down the front steps. Keeping my head bowed against the rain, I adjust my gym bag on my shoulder as I pick up the pace. Clicking the lock on the remote, I slide into the driver’s seat of my Range Rover.

  My phone vibrates with an incoming text message.

  Callum: The bus arrives a little after 6:30. See you then!

  I woke up this morning to messages from both my dad and Callum. My dad was informing me he was still planning to be released from rehab today, and I’m sure any time now he’ll be calling. Callum, on the other hand, let me know he was thinking of taking an impromptu trip to Chicago for a visit. Wrapping up my last class this morning, it was nice to think of spending the weekend with my brother, especially since Brea is heading out of town tomorrow morning.

  Callum still lives in my hometown of Arbor Creek. While we always had a close relationship growing up, we have had our difference of opinion when it comes to our father. Callum is the oldest of the two of us by two years. When our parents divorced, our dad moved to Florida. Although they rarely saw each other, much less spoke, Callum had chosen to side with our mother, and after he graduated from college, he cut off ties completely.

  I’ve never understood how he could act as though our father was not a part of his life, regardless of the mistakes he’s made. He believes his faults are worth cutting all ties and never looking back.

  Since I was younger when our parents divorced, I don’t remember the details of what happened to cause our parents to split, unlike Callum. If anything, I know he did his best to shield me from their fights. I know now he was only trying to prevent me from going through the same resentment and turmoil he has gone through.

  Checking the clock on the front dash, it’s a little after six. Putting the car in reverse, I ease out of the parking spot and head downtown to the bus station. Callum normally doesn’t mind driving, but insisted he didn’t want to bother with finding his way around the city on his own and asked if I’d pick him up when he arrived.

  Twenty minutes later, I pull up in front of the bus station to find my brother leaning against the side of the brick building. His head is tilted down, focusing intently on whatever is on his phone. Honking the horn, I see him jolt his attention, lifting his head up to meet mine.

  Holding his middle finger up at me, he chuckles as he drags his suitcase along behind him. Rolling down the window, I can’t help but crack a grin when I see the annoyed look on his face.

  “Quit fucking around already and get in the car.” I laugh.

  “You weren’t sitting here that long and you know it. Shut up!” He smothers a grin of his own.

  Depositing his suitcase in the backseat, he opens the passenger side door. Clapping his hand in mine, I lean over and give him a half hug.

  “Good to see you, bro.”

  “It’s good to see you, too,” I say, adjusting my sunglasses on my face.

  “I was thinking we could head to my place for a little bit. Graham will be there so you can catch up with him. If you’re up for it, we can head to Velvet later. I have a friend who is heading home for the summer, so I want to say goodbye to her before she leaves tomorrow.”

  The mention of Brea and her trip home leaves a weighted ball in the pits of my stomach. I have been trying to avoid thinking about it. I hate
being reminded she’ll be gone for three months. I’m going to miss her, but I understand why she’s doing this. If I thought I stood a chance at convincing her, I’d beg her to move in with me for the summer.

  “Sounds good, man. How is Graham doing anyway?”

  I hear the concern in my brother’s tone. It’s the one thing that Graham hates to hear when people ask him how he’s doing. The events of the past weighs heavy on Graham, and he works every day to fight off the demons who lurk around every shadowed corner.

  “He’s doing alright. Next month will be four years since the accident. I think the date is looming over his head.”

  Callum runs his palm across his chin, letting out a deep sigh.

  “I can’t believe it’s been that long already. He still hasn’t been back to Arbor Creek, has he?”

  “Nope, but I know he’ll be glad to see you.”

  We spend the rest of the drive catching up on how things are going. Callum talks about his job working with our stepfather, Randy, and how our mom is doing. As much as I love living in the city, it’s nice having this time with my brother. There will be a day when I will move home to Arbor Creek, but for now I’m enjoying my life here.

  Turning into the lot of my apartment, I pull my car into a parking spot. Callum leaves his suitcase in the car, after asking if I’ll swing by his hotel room before we go out tonight. Unlocking the apartment door, I swing it open and am struck dumbfounded, standing still when I see Graham leaning over the counter in our kitchen as my father stands in the dining room.

  “Dad,” I say, surprised to see him standing there. The first thing I notice is the clear look in his eyes replacing the glossy bloodshot look he often wore.

  Walking around the table, I wrap him in my arms, patting him on the back. It’s good to finally see him, and for a moment, I find myself forgetting I left my brother standing behind me.

  “What the hell is this?”

  The pissed off tone changes the mood in the air instantly. The tension in my father’s shoulders as his body tenses, not expecting to see Callum here either.

  “Son,” my father says as I move to step away. Looking between Callum and my dad, I know I should stop it. It’s like trying to stop on an icy road when you’re going too fast. You can see what’s coming in front of you and try with all your might, you want to stop it but you can’t.

  “Please don’t tell me you let me come all the way here for some fucking reunion. I meant what I said two years ago, I don’t care if I ever speak to you again. Yet, look, here you are!”

  “Callum, shut the fuck up!” I yell, pissed at the blatant disrespect he has for our father.

  “It’s okay, Mason,” my father says, holding his hands up at me. Turning his attention to Callum, “I didn’t realize you would be here.”

  Callum lets out a frustrated breath as his nostrils flare.

  Guilt passes over Graham’s face as he looks between me and Callum. He couldn’t have known this would’ve gone down this way. Callum’s trip was planned at the last minute, and I thought my Dad was still in Florida. There are so many questions, but I know as soon as I ask them, it will only start another argument. Regardless of the fact my father has put himself through rehab to try and get healthy again, Callum is bound to focus only on what he did wrong to end up there.

  “I’ve got a hotel room at the Westin downtown,” my Dad says, turning to face me. “How about you give me a call tomorrow when you have some time?”

  Nodding my head, I grip my dad’s shoulder. Keeping my voice low so only he can hear me, I whisper, “It’s good to see you. You look good.”

  He flashes me a sad smile, heading toward the door. I watch as Callum moves out of the way, crossing his arms in front of him, focusing his attention on the floor. As soon as the door shuts behind him, Callum’s eyes find mine. The tick in his jaw confirms he’s riding the edge of frustration.

  “What in the fuck?”

  “Listen, I had no idea you were going to be here,” Graham interjects, facing Callum. “You have to know I would’ve given you a heads up. He just got here a few minutes before you did.”

  Callum runs his hand over his face. The frustration on his face a match for what I’m feeling course through me. This is not how I expected our night to go.

  “I need a fucking drink,” Callum grunts.

  Opening the door to Velvet, I let the feel and the beat of the music flow through my body. The lights are dim and it takes a second before my eyes adjust to the change in lighting. Brea texted me earlier today reminding me tonight is her last shift before she packs up and heads home. She has a meeting with her boss of her new job so she wants to head off early in the morning, which means I have less than twelve hours left with her.

  Moving through the hordes of people toward the bar, I don’t even bother to see if Callum is behind me. His sour disposition has changed the mood for the night, and I don’t want his attitude to put a damper on my last night with Brea.

  I don’t even bother waiting at the bar to order. Leaving Callum standing there, I walk behind the bar and grab him a beer, ringing him up on the register. Pulling the cap off the top of his Busch Light, I slide the bottle along the counter toward him.

  Lissa saunters toward the bar, loading her drinks onto her tray. Leaning in close to her, I yell in her ear over the loud music.

  “Where is she?” Knowing she knows exactly who I’m looking for.

  “Uh, I think I saw her head into the back. That was a few minutes ago though.”

  Nodding my head, I hold my finger up to Callum, letting him know I’ll be back, as I turn in search of Brea.

  After checking the cooler and the employee locker room, I come up empty and resign myself to waiting at the bar in hopes of finding her there.

  Rounding the corner, I stop myself short when I see a long-haired brunette with her arms wrapped around none other than my brother.

  Bounding my way over to where they are standing, I struggle to contain my anger.

  “Care to explain to me what you’re doing?” I shout over the music.

  Callum doesn’t say anything, instead raises the beer bottle to his mouth, wearing nothing but a smirk. He’s lucky I don’t knock the smug look right off his face.

  As soon as Brea steps away from him, I see the confusion on her face as she turns to see me standing behind her, bouncing her head between me and Callum.

  “Sorry, Mase,” Callum grunts out a laugh. “I think your friend here thought I was you.”

  I grunt at the way Callum emphasizes the nickname Brea uses for me.

  Looking down at her, I claim her waist and pull her closer to me. She comes easily, returning my hug. I hear Callum chuckle behind us, but I tune him out as I lean forward pressing my nose against where her shoulder and neck meet.

  “I’m going to miss you,” I whisper in her ear. She doesn’t say anything in return, only nods her head.

  “Did you get your final grade?” I ask. She has been stressed about keeping her grade up in her Algebra class so she doesn’t lose the scholarship she is receiving for part of her tuition. She’s been stressing about it since taking the test that accounted for half her grade.

  “I passed.”

  Despite the dim lights, I see the grin on her face as her eyes light up.

  “I knew you would, baby.” I smile back, squeezing her tighter, pressing her closer to me which makes her grin grow even wider.

  “Can you try to get away for a little bit and take a break?”

  “Yeah, let me see if Lissa can cover my tables and we can head outside for a bit.”

  I know Craig wouldn’t be happy about me stealing her away after she got here, but it’s still early. It’s not quite as packed as it will be soon. If I don’t talk with her now, I may not get the chance until closing, and I’m not sure Callum is planning to stick around that long
.

  Brea sneaks away to check on her tables and find Lissa.

  Waving Farin over, I order a beer and head to the high-top table Callum is sitting at. Sliding onto the barstool, I watch the crowd of people on the dance floor.

  This isn’t how I expected my night with my brother to go. The last time we were together, we hit up the bar in downtown Arbor Creek. Brodie’s is more of a small-town bar, nothing like the size of Velvet.

  “So, who was that?” Callum shouts.

  “Just a friend of mine,” I grunt in response, not wanting to get into it with him right now.

  “Is that right?” he asks, calling me out. Callum knows I don’t get close to women, at least not like that in public.

  “That’s right,” I say, rolling my eyes at him.

  Turning my head, I expect to see Brea but come face to face with Sierra. Although she and I have been friends for some time, we haven’t hooked up since the night my dad was arrested. I know she is still interested, hell, otherwise she wouldn’t even be trying to talk to me.

  I don’t need Brea to see me talking to her either.

  “Alright, tell me who this is! You’re clearly related because you look like you could pass for twins.”

  Callum snorts, finding it funny that for the second time tonight, we’ve been mistaken for looking alike.

  Grabbing her hand draped across my shoulder, I move to her so she’s standing at my side and flash her a wink, not wanting to be rude.

  “This is my older and less handsome brother, Callum.”

  Callum chokes out a laugh.

  “Now I know what I’ve been missing being away from school,” Callum says, winking at Sierra.

  Brea picks that moment to approach our table. I see the forced smile on her face when she sees Sierra standing with us.

  Pulling Brea closer, I press my mouth against her ear. “You ready now, baby?”