Family Ties (Hidden Secrets)

by Belden, P. J.

  All I could do is smile. He was letting me lead this dance.

  “No, Nick not tonight. I think I am going to make up for a ruined lunch with Tobey. If you want that is. I know you are away from work right now and I don’t want to cause issues there.”

  “That sounds wonderful darlin’. I have a few things I need to do, but will come back to pick you up.” He smiled down at me.

  “I’ll leave you guys to talk and see you inside Mare.” Nick walked away.

  Turning back, I looked up at Tobey. “Thank you for going along with it. We don’t have to go out tonight if you don’t want to. I know you must be busy.”

  He cupped my face. “Do you not want to go out?”

  “I do, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to,” I said getting lost in his eyes.

  “Then we will go out. I’d like to have uninterrupted time with you,” he said as he stared at my mouth licking his lips.

  “Okay,” I whispered before his mouth devoured mine.

  My hand trailed up his stomach and he groaned as I moved up his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer. One of Tobey’s hands tangled into my hair and the other ran down my back to my ass before squeezing it and pulling me further into him. We both moaned as I slowly began grinding my hips into him. We completely forgot where we were. The only thing that mattered to us right now was each other and this moment. Just as I started running my hand down his front almost reaching the front of his pants, someone clears their throat and coughs.

  We broke from the kiss and he rested his forehead to mine. Both of us struggled to catch our breaths. Finally, Tobey opened his eyes and looked at me with a smile.

  “Definitely want uninterrupted time,” he winks and I laugh.

  Turning, I find Nate standing there with a look on his face that killed the buzz I was feeling. He looked hurt… no it was worse than that. He looked broken. All of a sudden, I felt guilty and I had no reason to feel guilty.

  “I’ll be back to pick you up at five. See you then.” Tobey kissed me one more time before turning and getting in his truck and driving off.

  Nate approached me taking my hand. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m fine. Kyle just got out of hand and Tobey told me to call someone.”

  “He’s the one who’s been hitting you, isn’t he?”

  I just stared at him, then turned to walk inside. He grabbed my hand to stop me.

  “Are you with that guy, that Tobey?”

  “Yes, I guess. I mean I don’t know.”

  “Is he the reason you turned me away?”

  “No…”

  “Does he love you? Do you love him?”

  “Jesus, Nate! I don’t know, we just fucking met. What is your damn problem?”

  He pulled me toward him and tried to kiss me, but I shoved him back.

  “Mare please…” he pleaded.

  “No, don’t ‘Mare please’ me. I have told you that we are friends. We are friends, Nate.” I end softer than I started.

  “But I don’t want to be just your friend Mare.” He sighs. “You want someone to love you for you, right?”

  I nod my head and he smirks.

  “I already do Mare.”

  “What,” I breathed.

  “Mare, I’ve been in love with you for a while. It just took me this long to take the risk in telling you.” He pulls me back into his arms and I’m so shocked I let him. “I love you, Mary.”

  He leaned down with a smile on his face and just before he touched my lips I turned my head. There was no way this was love he was feeling. He was confusing his lust for love.

  “What did you do last night?” I asked, stepping away from him.

  A confused look crossed his face. “I went to the bar like I normally do.”

  “Yeah? Did you have some company last night?”

  “What are you talking about?” He went to reach for me and I stepped back again.

  “What I’m talking about Nate is you don’t love me. If you loved me, there would be no other women. You are confusing your lust for me as love. Nate, you are my best friend. Please open your eyes and let’s not ruin our friendship.”

  Nate stood there looking at me for a minute before nodding his head. “You’re okay, I mean after today?”

  “Yes, Nate. I’m fine. I hope you aren’t too mad at me.”

  “Not mad at all.” He smiled sadly, then whispered, “I’ll be here for you no matter what Mare.” He kissed my cheek and left.

  I stood there a moment, unable to move. That was Nate like I have never seen him before. Part of me wished I felt for him what he thinks he feels for me, but it just wasn’t there and I couldn’t lead him on thinking that there was. He really was my best friend. Sighing, I turned and headed inside to get ready for the date that I was going on. I was determined to have fun tonight.

  There was a knock at the door just as I was walking downstairs. It was exactly five o’clock. Smiling to myself, I hated waiting. Bonus points for him right there. When I opened the door, he stood there smiling down at me with a single rose in his hand.

  “Wow, no one has ever got me a rose before,” I teased as I walked past him out the door.

  “What no third degree from your brother?” Tobey asked as he walked beside me.

  “No,” I laughed. “They gave those speeches up long ago.” I smiled.

  “Good to know,” he says with a wink before opening up the passenger side door and helping me in.

  As Tobey walked around the truck, I tried to get my nerves under control. This definitely wasn’t my first date… well it kind of was since I became a celebrity. It is kind of hard to date when your every move is watched and everyone seems to have some kind of agenda for the reason they are there at all. It has never been because they wanted to get to know me. Smiling as Tobey climbed into the truck, I wondered if it would be this time.

  “Where to?” He asked, smiling.

  “Are you familiar with this area?”

  “A little,” he said shrugging.

  “Do you know where Fortress is?”

  He nodded his head and pulled out. For the first time, I was nervous. Normally I could carry on a conversation just fine, but tonight… nothing would come to my mind to talk about. He reached over, slightly brushing my leg to shift gears and then turned on the stereo. Staring out the window, I tried to come up with something to talk about.

  “Have you ever been to Fortress?” I blurted all of a sudden as the idea popped into my head.

  He laughed softly, “No, I haven’t.”

  “They have excellent food, but offer entertainment as well.”

  I went on to tell him how it was kind of like an open mic bar, but with class. You had to be pre-approved to perform. It was an old Castle like building on the outskirts of town. People would wait for hours to get in and reservations were usually months out.

  When we pulled up to the restaurant, valet gave us a ticket and pulled away. Tobey put his hand at the small of my back and led me inside. The feel of his hand there had me faltering in my steps. He smiled down at me like he knew my reaction. The hostess greeted us warmly before recognition struck her and she started falling over herself. She didn’t bother asking my name. She just looked at the book, grabbed two menus and walked us to our table. Veronica was our waitress’s name. She was probably early twenties and was annoying. She clung to our table, leaving us not a single moment of peace.

  When she finally walked away with our orders, I turned to Tobey. “I don’t know if she was more obsessed with me or you tonight.” I laughed.

  He chuckled. “I have a feeling there won’t be much conversation for us tonight,” he whispered fake pouting.

  Not long later the waitress came back, it quickly became obvious who she was clinging to more, Tobey. He did look good though. He wore a simple white button down dress shirt with black jeans. It was simple, but damn did it make him look sexy as hell with his dark hair, bringing out his gorgeous blues. My
eyes were drawn to his mouth as he talked to the waitress. Those ‘kiss me’ lips, which I tasted so thoroughly only hours earlier, beckoned me to claim them. They taunted me with the softness, calling me with the reminder of their taste and feel on mine. A shiver ran through my body.

  When the waitress was pulled away, I smiled at Tobey still unable to pry my eyes from his lips. In my heart, I prayed that he was different and it was my moment to finally find some happiness. Although at the same time my head was screaming that I don’t deserve happiness. Just as Tobey leaned in to whisper something in my ear, a camera flashed. Whatever Tobey was going to say died with that flash and he sat back in his chair. Just as he sat back, the waitress returned to our table. He smiled and began talking to her. Suddenly I felt like I was interfering on their date.

  Finally the waitress left us alone for a few minutes only to arrive with our food shortly after. My stomach was in knots and suddenly my salad appetizer wasn’t appetizing anymore. I just pushed my food around my plate and said nothing. Though I noticed that Tobey made no effort to talk to me either. What the hell had happened? Only a bit ago we were all over each other and now he seemed like he didn’t even want to look at me.

  When I tried to make conversation, he gave curt answers not trying at all to continue a conversation with me. He had finished his appetizer and the waitress came over to clear his plate. He smiled at her. My heart was slowly being chipped away and there was no stopping it. The waitress brought the entrée out and again was kind enough to leave us alone while we ate. Only this time he seemed like he wanted to talk.

  We talked about everything and anything that came to our heads. I started to relax and felt more like I was on a date rather than sitting on the sidelines watching him have a date with someone else. The performers tonight were something else. It was entertaining and we both critiqued those that performed. Surprisingly, our opinions were pretty similar. He had great taste in music, not fond of television or movies, and rarely read a magazine or newspaper beyond the weather. He did have a few books he liked to read when he wasn’t working.

  He told me about working on his ranch and how he had always wanted to run the ranch one day. It was all he ever thought about.

  “I stayed with my grandpa constantly until my parents took over. I didn’t want to be anywhere other than at the ranch. It was so bad, or at least my parents thought, that they homeschooled me so I could stay there as much as possible. I had to go to school every Friday, but that was fine because when I was at that age Friday was really the only day where I was okay to be away from the ranch.” He shrugs. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.” He starts laughing suddenly.

  “What? What’s so funny?” I questioned, smiling.

  “When my father took over the ranch after my grandpa retired, we all lived in the big house. Anyway, any time my father would say something about his ranch, I’d jump in yelling that it was my ranch and it was on loan to him. My grandpa would laugh so hard every time and my dad even cracked a smile.”

  My smile grew as he revealed to me some memories. It was like a window into who Tobey really was. He seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders and loved his family. That made me happy because I was a family person as well.

  “Earth to Mary,” Tobey said, breaking into my thoughts.

  “I’m sorry,” I said embarrassed.

  “What made you realize you wanted to be a singer?” He asked, smiling softly.

  I shrugged. Many have asked this question and I had a perfectly organized pre-written answer to this for everyone that asked. That was the answer I gave him. The problem was unlike the brainless reporters that asked, Tobey didn’t buy the answer.

  “Okay, so now I know what your PR rep thinks made you run into singing. Can I have why you wanted to sing?”

  Just in that question he seemed to have broken a layer away from me. He was truly asking about me. He didn’t want to know the manufactured me, he wanted to know me. Smiling brightly at him, I told him the truth.

  “I was good at it or at least that was what I was told then. Don’t get me wrong. I love singing. I love writing songs and performing. It's just lately... I don't know, it just doesn't seem to have the same fulfillment it once carried; like there is something missing now.” I sighed.

  Tobey looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, “Have you thought about stepping back for a minute? Take a little break to figure out what it is that you feel is missing in your life right now.”

  I nodded my head, pushing my plate away without even touching a bite. “Yes, I have. It is just so hard to get away with a career as demanding as mine.”

  He reached for my hand and held it tenderly in his. “Haven’t you ever heard the saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder? You taking a step back will have people wanting you even more than before.”

  It was like he knew what I was thinking. I had actually said those exact words to Kyle when he talked about booking another tour in the next couple months. Kyle was after the big bucks. As if he hasn’t made enough working for me already, but he seemed to want more and more. It was never enough. Mentally, I shook my head to get Kyle off my mind. For one night at least, I was going to just be Mary Williams. I deserved it after all. Excusing myself, I headed to the restroom to freshen up.

  As I walked back to Tobey, I noticed our waitress was back at the table. She was standing very close to Tobey’s side. Their backs were to me, so I couldn’t see what they were talking about. Tobey looked up and smiled at her and she ran her hand down his arm, taking his hand that rested on the table. A surge of jealousy ran through me fierce and suddenly I wanted to walk over there and knock her the fuck out. Then it dawned on me, he wasn’t pulling his hand away either.

  What the hell?

  To my horror, she leans down and whispers in his ear and there was no mistaking the tongue that darted out and lined his ear. A camera flash went off as she did and anger surged through me, but it wasn’t enough to quiet the other feelings I had. In my head, I already knew that was going to be in the paper tomorrow. I wanted to run out of the restaurant, but my things were still on the table. This wasn’t the first time that this has happened. I came up with a nickname for the likes of these women; celebuckers, celebrity suckers. They watch out for celebrity women with good looking men and then the game begins. They work the men until they ‘steal’ the date from the celebrity woman. I guess you could say it was like an equivalent to the guys’ notches on their belts theory in a way.

  No, I wasn’t going to show my hurt. It amazingly did hurt. Which was a whole new terror in itself. Nevertheless, I was going to walk up to the table and pay the bill and leave. So I made my way over confident and smiled at the few people that said hello and shook my hand. When I reached the table, she pulled back and began to leave but I stopped her.

  “Here. Tell Gregory that is his tip and thanks are in this as well,” I said as I handed her the cash.

  Without another word, I grabbed my things from the table and started to leave the restaurant. It wasn’t until I was outside that I realized he had driven us here. Oh well, it’s not like I didn’t know my way around here. Slipping off my shoes, I began to walk the long walk back to my parents’ house. My mind wandered back to the restaurant and what I did. It was the biggest insult for a man, I learned, to not only pay for a meal but to do it in cash.

  At this point, I just didn’t care anymore. I’m used to being alone. Unfortunately, my logic didn’t work this time. There was something about Tobey that made this hurt and against my will tears began to form in my eyes. They may have formed, but I will not let them fall.

  Soon I heard a vehicle approaching and I prepared for the conversation that was just about to take place. Praying to God that he gives me the strength to tell this man to leave me the hell alone and move on with my life.

  “Mary? Mary! Why’d you leave?” He shouted from his truck.

  Just as he finished asking my phone rang, I almost dropped my phone I was so thankful for
the distraction. It was Nate. I looked up at the sky. Are you punishing me? I answered the call only because I didn’t want to talk to the guy that still crept next to me in his truck.

  “Hey, what’s up?” I greeted him friendly, after all we are friends.

  “Where are you?” He asked almost panicked.

  “I’m walking home right now why?”

  “Mare, where are you?” I could hear vehicles honking. “Kyle is looking for you and he seems angry. I don’t feel like you’re safe right now.” He said in a rush.

  I stopped walking when he said that. “I’m just down the road from Fortress…”

  “I see you,” he said, cutting me off.

  I hear a vehicle stop behind me and slowly turned to see Nate get out of his car. What I was feeling right now was terror. Not fear, but complete and utter terror. I forgot that Tobey was in the truck next to me, forgot about having been on a date with him. The minute I saw Nate, I ran to him and into his arms. He held me tightly with his face in my hair as he asked if I was okay. All I could do was nod my answer.

  Nate walked me to his car and helped me in and once he climbed in we were off to my parents. When we pulled up to the house, my brother Jackson was on the porch pacing back and forth. I jumped out of the car and ran directly to him and he wrapped me in his arms and took me inside.

  Chapter Six

  Tobey

  So I had a plan when I drove over to pick up Mary. I made a plan of action and I would execute it tonight. While I sat in my hotel, I went over the plan several times in my head to make sure I had it down to a science. I didn’t like the way I was starting to feel when I was around her and after that kiss, those kisses, I can’t trust myself to stay here much longer. After talking to Scott on the phone and finding out that I did lose my show horse, my mind was set. It was time to wreck and run.

  Not knowing where I was going tonight was the only wrench in the plan. However, I dressed as dressy as I would get and then grabbed a single rose from the arrangement in the hall as I left the hotel. The whole drive to Mary’s I kept going over the plan. Basically, I was going to embarrass the shit out of her tonight and just get the fuck out of there. I was thinking that knocking food on her, getting into a fight, something. Any of those would do quite honestly. Then I could storm out of the restaurant be done with it all and finally get back to my life on my ranch. If she felt half of what I did when we kissed, then I knew it would break her.