The Renegade

by Daniel Evora

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she implied.

  “It’s a nice view,” I answered, then I turned to her. “I could maybe look at this all day.”

  “Do you ever wonder what it feels like?” she asked.

  “What?”

  “Death.”

  “How could I know?” I shrugged off. “How could anyone? Why do you ask?”

  “Just a thought, I guess. Looking at the sunrise. Don’t you ever get those thoughts?”

  “Well, if I think too much about it, then, yeah you could say that. I think everyone has them from time to time.”

  “The thought of being alive. Sometimes you forget that it doesn’t last forever. Even this sunset will eventually be no more. One day we’ll be nothing but a blink in history. Then, a folktale. Then, a myth. The cycle of time.”

  “What are you trying to get at?”

  “It’s nothing too specific really. But, it’s nice, it is. To live.”

  “You don’t have to tell me that,”I smirked.

  Adrana chuckled. “I know...I don’t want this to end.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  I looked down at my InterFace watch as it beeped. Turning on the screen, I was led to a message of summoning.

  “Well, I gotta go for now. Sam needs me.”

  “Okay. See you later.”

  “I won’t be long.”

  I walked out of the room as Adrana continued to watch the morning sky shed new vibrant colors of orange, yellow, white, purple, and brighter, fuller blues. The sun was halfway above the line and the city shined even brighter than before. The midnight lights of Kalo City began to fade away to allow the sun to be the only light source.

  Then, she looked back out to the horizon.

  After, Adrana took a relaxing, deep breath through her nose as the warmth of the sun beamed on her face. The cold in the tame winds faded and matched it’s temperature. It was enough to make her fall asleep.

  Finally, she closed her eyes, exhaled...and smiled.

  There were moments of silence that quickly broke as one of the weak glass panels of the greenhouse broke through a hole. Adrana jolted a tiny bit, as I stood there without the proper words or emotions to react to what I just witnessed. She tried to say something but her tongue was tied up in knots. Her lips stuttered as she began to lose her balance. She winced and tried to fight the pain. But, in the end she gave into it as it was too much to bear, and collapsed while dropping the trigger.

  I rushed to Adrana and caught her by the back just before she hit the concrete floor.

  “Hey, hey, you’re-. I’m gonna get you outta here,” I stammered while swinging her left arm over my shoulder and let her lean on me.

  Sara watched and swiftly put her visors away and waved her left hand at the other three troops. Pointing it in the direction to move forward. Then, got out her walkie to give them new orders.

  “Alright, let’s move,” she whispered into the speaker, and then to herself while turning off her receiver. “Hold Nate, we’re coming.”

  I found a steel syringe which was not visible through plastic. Taking it out of her side as there was a hint of her blood on the needle. Then, I tossed the syringe and opened the greenhouse doorframe for her.

  Adrana grunted and cried in pain as I slowly opened the door for her.

  “I know it hurts, I know,” I lamented.

  While the both of us got out into the garden, she collapsed again on all fours. Adrana started taking in deep breaths while crying at the same time.

  “C’mon, we can still make it,” I shuddered as I approached her and attempted to grab her arm.

  Adrana jutted her hand at me, and shook her head. She took another deep breath to only speak one word.

  “No,” she wept.

  “Then I’m gonna carry you,” I fretted trying to pick her up from a comfortable position. I was much too exhausted to carry anything too heavy, let alone a person. But, I couldn’t let that stop me.

  As soon as I could lift her up my legs were shaking and my body felt like jelly. Grunting, I slowly walked forward, and with each step I breathed heavily. But, I couldn’t bear the weight for much longer, and I took a knee to the floor.

  “Nate…”

  “I can’t do it,” I emphasized wearily.

  Adrana didn’t respond.

  “Adrana?” I asked, as she lay in my company.

  She gasped for air, and coughed away from me with her fist covering her mouth.

  “Just hold on, okay, they’re coming right now,” I begged.

  “It--It’s...too much,” Adrana sobbed.

  “No, please.” I begged as my lips quivered.

  “Le-Let. Let me go,” Adrana stammered under her breath, trying to take in more air. “Please.”

  Suddenly, I looked up and heard Sara and her crew near the front of the orphanage. Then, I turned back down to Adrana who gave me her hand.

  “Stay with me, alright? Just a little bit longer,” I sobbed as I took her hand.

  She looked at me with tears running down her face. Struggling to take in one last, painful breath and said her last few words to me.

  “I--I...”

  Adrana's eyes slowly drifted away from me as I began to feel her dead weight resting on my arms. Her chest tightening up even further. Her head tilted slightly to the left. In moments trying to ride out the pain of not being able to breathe nor walk or stand, then, nothing. The color from her beautiful, brown eyes drifted away. The life. Everything. Was no more.

  Again, I could hear Sara and the others make their way into the orphanage. As she approached she directed two of her men to go upstairs and check for Ben.

  Suddenly, I felt this aching pain in my chest and throat.

  “Addie?”

  Her face quickly turned pale. It was too late.

  “Adrana,” I blurted, trying to hold in the tears.

  Well, I couldn’t handle it.

  Bursting at the seams, I held her pale head close to me as I wailed silently in a fountain of sadness. I hid my face away from Sara. Still trying with all my might to hold back the tears, I mostly kept to myself the ones I had running down my face. It was painful after all to keep them hidden away for anyone to see.

  Sara stepped into the garden and watched as I mourned Adrana’s death. She put her weapon away; back into her holster, and stood there.

  “I’m sorry, Nate,” disclosed Sara.

  I stopped crying and continued to hold her close in my arms.

  “We have to go.”

  I looked at her for a final time and carefully let her down gently onto the floor. Finally, I used my right hand to shut her eyelids. I sat there on the grass like a statue, as I caught Sara looking right at me through my peripheral vision.

  “I’m fine,” I choked.

  I glared at her for just a quick second after saying those words straight to her face.

  “You’re not fine,” suggested Sara. “Trust me, I understand wh--”

  She noticed me staring over her shoulder as the rest of the group had made it to the orphanage. Sara ended up following my eyesight when they made it to the front door of the old, crippled structure. Max and Matthews, leading the group to where I stood, stopped in their tracks at the sight and realization of what took place and that they were ultimately too late.

  They all looked at me as I glared back. No one said a word nor made a sound when I walked past each of them. All of them except for Pete as he rested his palm on my chest. Irritated, I maneuvered around him and he gave up the act.

  They all watched as I looked about the front porch area, and stared at the road ahead. Emptied with the exception of small trash drifting themselves in the wind. I could stare down it for a dozen blocks. Just like we used to on Sam’s balcony when watching as the warm morning sun reflected its light onto the tall skyscrapers of Kalo City. So I looked out to the horizon. But, it wasn’t the same. Nothing about it was like before. It was no longer warm--only a cold chill that went down my s
pine. I half expected someone to walk up right next to me and say some little speech to get my hopes up. I knew that at least some of them were staring.

  Not a word was spoken, yet everyone knew I needed some space. So that’s what they gave me for the time being.

  Chapter 13

  Home

  The calm wind that flowed beautifully as tree leaves and other things drifted along the ground. The green grass of the cemetery made themselves like baby waves on the ocean. It gave me a sudden chill down my spine even though I was dressed for the occasion. I couldn’t believe that all of this took place literally yesterday. We then were asked to remove all of the decorations and bouquets of red flowers that lay on the roof of the coffin. So we did, as each of us took a part of it off.

  The coffin was lifted into the air and then slowly descended into the grave. A few rebel troops then got their shovel and began to place all the dirt back into the hole they made for the coffin.

  “I want to thank you, Nate, for bringing me back to my husband,” Sara thanked me, as I slightly bowed in respect.

  “No problem, well, yo-you know what I mean,” I stammered.

  “Nate?” Ben called.

  “Yeah?” I answered, turning once more.

  “Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked.

  “Sure, anything,” I responded as we gained some distance from the small crowd.

  “So, what now?” I asked him.

  “With Chris gone, that leaves the Commander position going back to me since I technically had it before him,” he said while staring at the gravestone. “Eventually I’ll have to pass it on to someone else, since this was meant to be my last assignment.”

  “You were going to retire?” I questioned myself. “What does this have to do with me?”

  “Well, now that you’ve served your time and now that I’m...here,” Ben explained. “You’re free to go.”

  “That’s it?”

  He nodded, and held out his hand; expecting me to shake it.

  “Thanks for saving my life,” smiled Ben.

  I stared at Ben’s firm hand and thought about what would happen if I left the Resistance faction, and what would happen if I did. The choice was given to me once more, so I took it.

  “You know what? I think I might stick around for a bit.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah. Besides...where else would I go?”

  He moved his hand away, slowly nodded--agreeing with my sentiments, and patted me on the back. “Welcome home, Nate.”

  I pulled out the picture of Adrana and stared at it as well. For a second I thought of getting rid of it and making sure I’d never see it again, but I kept staring at it dreaming of a simpler time all those years ago. With the picture still frozen in my hand, I stared at the gravestone of Chris--specifically at the little dash between those two dates etched onto the surface of the stone. I placed it back into my coat pocket, and felt the weight of my decisions as I remembered her.

  “As much as she was a flawed individual. She was still human,” Max interrupted as he looked at the picture. “I’m sorry.”

  “Without her, our plan wouldn’t work.”

  “Speaking of that,” Max added, squinting eyes. “Ben just told me that you're staying?”

  I nodded and glared back down the gravestone. Max still stood next to me, and noticed that I ended up staring off into deep space or something.

  “Are you gonna be alright?”

  “I hope,” That’s when an idea sparked in my head all of a sudden. “But, there’s one more thing I need to do. I’ll be back.”

  ...

  The day started to darken along with the clouds in the gray sky. All I did though, was to keep digging a small hole. I found a nice tree in the park to dig a spot. It wasn’t cold out, but I still took off my coat and tossed it to the side while I was sweating bullets in it. Then, I put the shovel down and knelt to write on the backside of the picture. I chose a spot right over the hole and ripped out the bark from that small area.

  I got out a pen and wrote down her name. Adrana Lionel. After that, I lowered my hand and wrote the dates. 2081-2105, it read. I read the two dates, and stared at the dash that I drew between the two different years. All we had was that dash and then that was the end of it. My hand trembled as I hesitated to let go of the picture as I kept staring at the simpler times. But eventually, I dropped the picture into the small hole and slid the dirt over the hole.

  “I’m sorry I abandoned you, and Sam,” I said as I looked up from the grave I made for Adrana. “I made a promise, and I let you down. And I’m sorry for that, too. I’m sorry that it had to be this way. No one of us can undo the past, but we can always look to change the future. But, hey--I...I think I might stick around. The Resistance. I still don’t know how to feel them yet. But, I’ll try my best to show them that I’m worthy of the position,” I tried with all my might to hold back tears. “I-I never wanted you to become this...for it to be this way...and I already miss you. So much. I told myself...when you were in my arms...that I wasn’t ready. Because I cared too much to let go. I’m still not sure if I can, and if it were the case, well...I think you would’ve made a great rebel. Goodbye.”

  I left some flowers next to the tree and reached into my jacket pocket to bring out a small metal knife. I leaned up against the smooth, brown bark of the tree and cut out letters with the knife. Carefully, I wrote her full name on the tree like I did the picture that I buried earlier along with her date of birth and her date of death. She was only twenty-four years of age. The number of years she lived became much smaller in my head now that I thought about it. Every cut and stroke I made on the bark only made it harder for me to accept her death.

  Finally, once I cut in the death date. I pushed myself away from the tree and looked at the full picture of her grave, and wiped the bit of sweat that ran down my face afterwards. It wasn’t much on the outside--at least to anyone else besides me, and maybe Sam, taking into account that all it was was a tree with some words cut into it and a couple flowers that I placed into a small pot with enough water to keep them from wilting for at least a little while--for me it was everything.

  Then, I felt it. A person standing behind me. Watching as I looked upon her grave. I did not turn back to look, however, but I looked ahead as if I was talking while at the same time facing in his direction. Then, all of a sudden, that feeling sprinted and leaped out of my chest. So, I turned around, myself with heavy eyes and a pale complexion--to find no one standing in that spot near the other well-made gravestones.

  Gone? I thought. Must have been nothing.

  ...

  I didn’t say much or do much of anything while we were riding back towards the Citadel. All I could do was think and think about everything that had happened within the last few hours. So much occurred in such little time, making the thoughts magnified, yet fleeting. It was a confusing feeling that gave me a strange rush of anxiety.

  As we crossed back into the threshold of territory I noticed within my peripheral vision that Pete and Sara were coming to talk. Sara kept a little distance and sat in the seat next to mine.

  Pete rolled his way right in front of Sara, and gave a slight grin.

  “You did the best you could...we all did.”

  I sighed and honestly a bit irritated by the fact that they both were still trying to have a conversation about the incident. So, I kept my mouth shut, and partly ignored the duo.

  Pete looked at Sara when I didn’t respond for more than a few seconds. He sighed, then nodded his head.

  “Okay...I understand.”

  I continued to stay in my corner.

  Pete finally rolled away and gestured to Sara to follow along.

  “Buckle up everyone,” Max said aloud. “We’re nearly there.”

  Each of us lined up against the walls of the area and sat in the chairs with a bunch of straps keeping us safe from any dangers trying to land and slow down at high speeds.

  I watched ou
t the window when we emerged from the clouds and the sun was just beginning to hide behind the horizon. The descent gave me that weird sensation in my stomach as we approached the landing area right inside the Citadel.

  “Going down.” said Max while ever so slightly pushing off of the reverse throttle.

  A part of the roof in the Citadel opened up. The loud noise of the metal doors separating caught my attention and I looked down to see the people inside clearing out an area just for us; anticipating our return from the long journey.

  The transport made a loud thud as soon as it touched the hard floor of the landing. Max pushed the release button on the bay doors while also releasing the pressure on the hydraulics of the landing gear. A sharp light poked through a small crevice and it got bigger and bigger while I squinted my eyes to it. I could hear the thundering applause from the people just outside waiting for us to walk out.

  First came Matthews and Ben; who received the most applause stepping out of the vehicle. Matthews cracked a smile to the crowd while Ben was understandingly still melancholy about the whole situation.

  Right behind them was Sara and Pete; and they received applause as well. Not to the extent that Matthews and Ben did, but there were some who recognized the two.

  Pete glanced around the Citadel, and was left without words. Ignoring all of the people in the room since he was in a different mood than they were. Seeing the place again almost brought tears to his eyes. Yet he was neither happy nor sad. Just in disbelief that he would ever see this place again.

  I walked out just after them with Max, Thomas, and Lily right in front of my view. Even though this moment was supposed to fill me with relief and joy. I sort of hid myself behind them since I didn’t want to be seen by the crowd in this state. Some noticed me individually, but I didn’t speak a word to anyone. I couldn’t bring myself to do it at the moment.

  While the sound of the applause and cheers began to cede, some of the crowd started to spread back out while the rest stayed to congratulate us personally. Klara was there to greet us and also noticed that I had distanced myself from the rest of the group. She kept her distance like I wanted her to. She approached Max.