States of Passion

by Nihad Sirees

  “‘Come on, I’ll show you where you’re going to sleep.’

  “Widad stood, picked up her suitcase and followed Khojah Bahira. The eyes of the three women met, but Bahira was unaffected by the clear jealousy of the one in the red slip.”

  The rain was becoming more intense. Raindrops started to crash against the windowpane in an unsettling way. The old man stopped to take a breath. Seeing that he was going to relax for a bit, I looked out at the pouring rain. It was coming down so hard that I couldn’t see the desolate fields beyond the front fence. I thought about my colleague Mr Tameem and the Land Rover driver, hoping that they had managed to find help. Just then the old man picked up the story. He wanted to tell it to me as much as I wanted to hear it.

  “Bahira loved to be constantly surrounded by the members of her band, which was why she had bought that spacious house in the Farafrah neighbourhood, so that the greatest possible number of women could live with her. In addition to Suad the kamancheh player there was Aisha the percussionist as well as the zither player Farida, whom Widad had seen looking down through the window of the upstairs bedroom they shared. They were so close that they slept in the same bed. They were lovers, of course; everybody knew it, and nobody would interfere in their private lives or try to keep them apart. In short, they were happy together. The one in red lingerie was the group’s dancer. Her name was Raheel and she was a red-headed Jew. She had been part of Bahira’s group for three years, from the time that Bahira wooed her away from one of the city theatres. It was said that Bahira fell in love with her the first time she saw her face, proposing immediately that she become the lead dancer for her group and her girlfriend. Raheel agreed and ever since had lived in Bahira’s room and slept in her bed. Like all Bahira’s lovers, she also used the same bathroom and was never too far away. She obeyed her ablaya’s strict rules. The other members of the troupe were Bahiya the overweight oud player who was married and lived with her husband. He used to be her family’s servant, and she’d married him and they’d moved to the city together. Some people say that he pimped her out when they were forced to sell her body to make enough money to eat.

  “This was the environment Widad had arrived in. Her beauty floored Bahira, made her head spin. The Khojah was a connoisseur of beauty and passion and she was quick to fall in love. She took care of Widad from the moment they met, preventing her from being alone with anyone else. She always wanted Widad to be alone in her room, and lo and behold it turned out to be the one right next to Bahira’s room, which meant that Suad had had to move to a room in the other wing so that Widad could take hers.

  “Raheel was annoyed when Widad showed up. It made her feel defeated and jealous to see how interested Bahira was in this new arrival, how she would never stop looking at her, attending to her every need. She knew her ablaya well. When Bahira had brought her back from the theatre, she had taken care of her in exactly the same way. At that time Bahira had been with a woman who wasn’t good at anything other than making love. She wasn’t a musician or a singer or a dancer. She was beautiful and attractive, which was all that mattered. She was curvy, with darkish skin, but she was also spoilt and flirtatious, and if it weren’t for those two qualities then people might have found Khojah Bahira’s feelings for her strange. The way she flirted and behaved like a baby endeared her to many people. She had other attributes, of course: she was good at modulating her voice in a way that would make everyone around her vibrate whenever she spoke. She bickered with Bahira a lot, which she believed would make her ablaya more enamoured of her, but Bahira eventually grew bored of her and ended up hiring Raheel. One of the most important clauses of their agreement was that Raheel would become her girlfriend. That’s right, it was part of the deal. Nobody should find this strange, the old man said. Bahira made agreements like that a few times in her life. When Raheel moved to the house in Farafrah, the flirty brat hadn’t moved out yet. It wasn’t like the Khojah to kick out her ex-girlfriends as soon as she had decided to drop them in favour of someone else. Instead, she’d flit from one to the other in a way that everyone else could hear and see. Simply put, she got used to shifting her attention from the old one to the new one, even though the old one still shared a room, a bathroom and a bed with her. So she installed Raheel in a room the two of them would later share while the brat was moved into the room where Widad wound up staying. When the time was right, Bahira left that room for another one, leaving the brat to sleep all by herself, as if nothing had ever happened between them. In order to make that happen, she’d gradually shift her attention from this one to the other, maintaining the old affection, as she called it. Most of the time the ex-lover felt that she was about to leave, and so she would push back and cry out of jealousy and fear of being abandoned. If the old girlfriend argued with the new one, Bahira would promise the new one that she would break up with the old one.

  “Raheel knew all of this, chapter and verse, when Widad showed up. The same thing had happened to her when she took the place of another woman. She had once been new and beloved. Now she would be the ex. Sleep eluded her. She became anxious all the time, extremely sensitive, and she picked up the habit of spying on the two of them whenever Bahira was with Widad. Bahira began to stay up all night in Widad’s room. She would sit at her bedside and tell her about her mother, Badia, the only person these two women knew in common. Raheel started to loathe the night, especially when the women had to stay home because the band wasn’t playing a show. She would find herself coming out of her room to spy on her ablaya through the window that looked down on the courtyard. She might find Bahira talking to Widad or listening as she described her life with her mother in Maydan Ekbas. Every few minutes Bahira would reach out to touch innocent Widad or wipe a tear from her cheek. When Bahira was feeling bold, she would cradle Widad in her arms and kiss her, trying to assuage her sadness over her dead mother. As Bahira headed back to her room, Raheel would come to her, and would feel less jealous and jilted. Raheel was clever, and through her intelligence and patience she managed to put off Bahira’s moving out of her room and into Widad’s for a pretty long time. She even started taking care of Widad right in front of Bahira.

  “The goal at that point was to transform Widad from a beautiful peasant into a woman who would be acceptable in high-class Aleppo society. She had inherited quite a few of her mother’s traits, which meant that this was not an impossible task. The ladies would have to give Widad a makeover: cutting and curling her hair, plucking her eyebrows and redrawing them, removing the hair from her arms and her legs in the traditional manner, using sugar paste, and then selecting the fabrics and styles of dress that would suit Widad’s slender frame and her beautiful and well-proportioned body. Bahira attended to all of this with assistance from Suad, who had offered Widad her friendship from the moment she’d entered the house. Suad wasn’t afraid of Bahira. She was a trustworthy and friendly woman who had interests beyond the world of women. She was waiting for her Prince Charming rather than a female saviour like Bahira. This was why the Khojah could ask for Suad’s help with Widad’s body without fear that she would pose a challenge to her in the future. But Raheel would insinuate herself as soon as they were finished attending to Widad. She would break through every barrier and open up every door in order to join them in plucking her hair or choosing her underwear. She gave her opinion honestly, without any disrespect, in a way that satisfied Bahira and her womanly sensibility. Raheel’s ablaya would remain silent in the face of her interference, her barging in through closed doors, without ever kicking her out.

  “There was one thing that Raheel took advantage of in order to postpone Bahira moving from her bed to Widad’s. Badia had never taught her daughter anything about their profession, which meant she didn’t know how to dance or play an instrument. Her voice wasn’t refined enough to sing. Widad was little more than a beautiful ornament, a doll anyone would long to possess. The ladies couldn’t make her into anything other than a stunningly beautiful woman: graceful, reserv
ed, a person with a kind heart and a pleasant disposition. She was delightful to look at when she sat there, even more so when she walked or moved or turned around. When she laughed, her face would become slightly red in an adorable fashion. But Khojah Bahira needed a dancer, and Raheel was the one who drew oohs and aahs from the mouths of men and women alike whenever she danced. She was considered to be among the best dancers of any group in the city. So Bahira had to wait until she could find a suitable replacement, because Raheel refused to remain in the group if Bahira abandoned her bed.

  “On nights when there wasn’t any work at a wedding or a party at someone’s house, the women would congregate in the iwan in order to play music and sing their favourite songs, including ‘Love Ain’t Easy’ and ‘Love Has Made Me Squeal’. They might spice up their evenings with little ditties such as ‘I’m the Reason for What Happened’ or ‘Oh Sweetie, How You Make Me Laugh’. Suad would crack jokes, making them all laugh. Watching Widad laugh was a pleasure for everyone. Suad was so good at mimicking both men and women that she made people crack up. Whenever they got together she would act out Aisha and Faridah’s hilarious infatuation with one another. They were never apart, caressing one another even in front of Widad; she had begun to see this as something completely natural, which was just what Bahira wanted with all her heart. Widad would laugh heartily as she watched Suad impersonate Faridah slobbering all over Aisha’s cheek or mimic the two of them in an argument. She would do an impression of everyone: Bahira singing or Raheel dancing, Aisha beating the hand drum, or the heavy-set oud player and the way she would fall asleep in the arms of her pimp of a husband. Suad’s impressions would have them all in hysterics.

  Whenever they insisted on it, Raheel would get up and dance. Widad loved the way she moved and never took her eyes off her. She thought Raheel was amazing. She had never seen a woman dance with such skill and such flair, and she started asking her to dance for her. If she wasn’t in the mood and demurred, Widad would be disappointed. This pleased Raheel, and she began performing special routines just for her, leaning towards her and bending over in front of her and inviting her to join her in the dance. She did this because she was fond of her. What had ultimately brought about this change in Raheel was her refusal to succumb to Bahira’s neglect. If her ablaya were to leave her one day for Widad, she wouldn’t resent Widad for that. She’d blame the Khojah who could never be fully satiated.

  “On one occasion Bahira was sitting beside Widad. She was hanging on to her the way Aisha and Faridah would sit together, as if it were totally natural. Raheel calmly watched her ablaya out of the corner of her eye but she was furious inside. No matter how annoyed she might get, she had learnt well how to hide her displeasure and her jealousy. She stood up and asked Aisha and Faridah and Suad to play for her so she could dance. She wanted her ablaya to realise that she wasn’t going to be able to get rid of her so easily. She wanted Bahira to see that any other love she experienced would pale in comparison to theirs.

  “The women played a dance number by Dawud Husni and Widad began clapping along to the beat. Raheel got up and stood in front of them with her legs spread wide open, her eyes locked on Bahira, and started dancing the bee for her.”

  “The bee?” I asked the old man in confusion, as I had never heard of that dance before.

  “That’s right, the bee,” the old man said. “It’s a really inappropriate, lewd dance.”

  “Did Raheel always dance that way for her ablaya Bahira?”

  “Hardly. This was the first time Raheel had ever danced that way in Bahira’s house. The Khojah was quite surprised to see her do so. The important thing is that she was looking straight at Bahira, who was mesmerised by what her old girlfriend was up to.”

  “That’s sexy.”

  “It’s true. Now let me tell you exactly what happened, and what the consequences were.”

  “By all means.”

  “Raheel was performing as if a bee had got under her clothes, as if she were hunting for it and trying to kill it. She writhed in pain from all the bee stings, arching her hips towards Bahira, who was silent and stunned, hanging on Raheel’s every move. All of a sudden Raheel started taking off her clothes, one piece at a time, in order to look for the imaginary bee. She was groaning, as if in pain from the bee stings, mouthing the word ‘bee’ while she searched for it in the folds of every piece of clothing and then finding herself forced to remove it to capture the insect. All eyes were enjoyably following her the whole time, not least Bahira’s, Aisha’s and Faridah’s. Widad was amazed by Raheel’s ability to bend and act. She believed that what was happening was an ordinary occurrence, just another day at Khojah Bahira’s house. A few moments later Raheel was totally naked except for her lacy underwear. But the bee seemed to be hiding in there as well. She started feeling around for it, writhing on the ground. When Raheel finally decided to strip off the last piece of clothing that covered her, Bahira got up, grabbed her and pulled her towards her bedroom.

  “This all happened to the wonder of the other women. When the music stopped, the ensuing silence allowed them to hear Raheel weeping as Bahira cursed her harshly. Suad noticed Widad’s concern over what was happening in the other room, so she started to play the kamancheh once again and Aisha followed suit. Then Faridah did the same. Suad stood up and took Widad by the hand, inviting her to dance. Widad got up, but she wouldn’t dance. She was no good at dancing and didn’t want to embarrass herself in front of the more experienced women. She just swayed with the beat, reached out her hand and shuffled a few baby steps along with the rhythm of the darbuka. Then she started to wave one hand and extend the other, taking one step forward then one step back, shyly stomping the ground, rosy-cheeked, smiling bravely. This wasn’t quite dancing in Suad’s opinion, but still it was sweeter than cane sugar. Mind-blowing. She learnt a new move, touching her temple with her fingertips as she held the back of her hand with the other one, shaking from side to side. They giddily cheered her on. She was moving without a plan, on pure feminine instinct. Just then something caught her attention over by the doorway to Bahira’s room. Bahira and Raheel were standing there watching her. Raheel had wrapped herself in a white sheet and was clinging to Bahira, who had wrapped her arm around her. Raheel seemed to have been crying. Widad was embarrassed and sat down, hiding her face in her hands.

  “Raheel’s dance had been a farewell number. She had decided to leave. With her bee dance she had wanted to leave Bahira in a state of extreme excitement. They held one another the whole night, never closed their eyes. Raheel cried as Bahira cradled her. Bahira had rediscovered her passionate affection for the girlfriend she had lost with Widad’s arrival. They spoke to one another in a whisper, their mouths and ears close together.

  “‘Stay with me, Raheel. I need you. You’re my dancer and my sweetheart.’

  “‘I have to go. I know what’s going to happen to me. That’s why I’m leaving in the morning.’

  “‘Nothing’s going to happen. You’re imagining things… I love you.’

  “‘And you’ll love Widad next. I’ve got to make room for her on my own terms. I don’t want to leave after I’ve already become an ex-girlfriend past her prime. I love you, too, Bahira, but I know what’s going to happen, so just let me go.’

  “‘Tonight I discovered just how much I love you, Raheel. I don’t even love Widad yet.’

  “‘You discovered that? It’s because I danced the bee for you. Do you know why I did that? Because I watched you sitting there next to Widad. You were all over her. You started falling for her. Your feelings are unpredictable and I can’t dance the bee for you every day.’

  “‘You were amazing, Raheel. But it isn’t right for you to dance like that in front of Widad. She doesn’t understand yet.’

  “‘I know. And Widad was amazing in that little number we saw her do. Wasn’t she great?’

  “‘No comment.’

  “‘Did you even know she danced? Her moves are heartstopping, ablaya. Just ke
ep her dancing like that. You’ll see, everyone’s going to fall in love with her.’

  “‘People aren’t going to like this. It isn’t even dance. She was just flailing around. The women love you.’

  “‘You’re wrong. You’re just saying that to make me feel better. What is dance anyway, ablaya? It’s bodily flexibility, natural movement. It’s la danse pour la danse. Good dance is instinctive. Bahira, the dancer forgets everyone else and dances only for herself. That’s what Widad was doing just now. You know what they say—the gazelle is graceful by nature. A good dancer is one who doesn’t even realise she’s dancing.’

  “Bahira remained silent, aware that everything Raheel was saying was true. Raheel had rekindled a fire that had been extinguished in Bahira’s loins; she had been on the brink of falling in love with Widad. But Raheel had her charms, making it hard for her to know what to do. She wished she could have both women, despite knowing full well this was out of the question. As she burrowed her face into her ear, Bahira heard Raheel repeat, ‘I’m leaving in the morning.’

  “In the morning Raheel went to say goodbye to Widad. She stood in front of that innocent woman, who didn’t fully understand how things worked. Widad was confused, and twiddled her thumbs like a little girl.

  “‘Why are you leaving?’ Widad asked. ‘I’m starting to like you, all of you.’

  “‘I have to go. I’ve also started to like you.’

  “‘So why do you have to go, then? Please don’t go. We’ll stay up late together. I loved to see you dancing yesterday.’

  “Raheel smiled at her. She didn’t understand what was going on. She got closer and kissed her.