Astrid’s stomach lurched as she stood. “They can’t defend themselves. You saw it, over half the pack is little kids. And my sister, she’s either pregnant or maybe even has a newborn right now. What are they going to do? They can’t fight, and where would they run to?”
“That is not my con—”
“We have to take them in,” Astrid said, and for once she managed to speak over him. “If we aren’t able to help them defend their territory, then we have to bring them here where they’ll be safe.”
Sten appeared taken aback by this, but Erik’s face was perfectly blank.
“Even if I would be inclined to share my den with another alpha, as you’ve already pointed out, Siluit is nothing but pups and juvenile runts. Weak and useless creatures that are incapable of providing for themselves, that do nothing but consume resources—resources that we do not have to spare.”
Astrid hated that Erik could remain so calm when she felt like she was on the verge of tears.
“Erik, you have to do something. You can’t let Ginnifer get hurt.”
“I am not responsible for your sister. She is Zane’s mate.”
“And my sister!” And I can’t do anything… “If the situation were reversed and it were Sten and Halley, wouldn’t—”
Erik held up a finger to quiet her. It worked, though as soon as she realized it had, she became all the more aggravated with him.
“It does not matter what anyone would do in a different situation,” Erik said. “The situation is what it is, and I will not be compromising the security and wellbeing of my pack because Zane cannot protect what is his.”
The way he spoke was familiar to her. It was his ‘I’m done discussing this with you’ tone, and it morphed her aggravation into fury. Although Erik had given her no shortage of things to enrage her over the past two months, she’d never been quite so angry. She knew it had little to do with what they were fighting over—she could understand Erik’s point, even if she didn’t agree with it. A much bigger part of it stemmed from her own insecurities.
“You really are serious, aren’t you?” she asked, taking a step away from him. “You’d let my sister die… Do you really expect me to be all right with that? To accept that and stand by while Ginnifer’s in danger?”
Erik blinked at her, and for a split second, she felt like she wasn’t looking at the mate she had come to care for—more than care for—but the decisive and merciless alpha that had nearly left her to die out on the tundra two months ago. She’d somehow fooled herself into thinking he had changed, but she realized that he’d been there all along, that her mate was only one small aspect of this brutal man.
As though confirming her hypothesis, he said, “What I expect is for you not to question me. You’re my mate, but you have no right to make any decisions for my pack.”
“Fine,” she said, matching his calm tone, even though her body was trembling. “But if my sister does die, I will never forgive you.”
CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR
“Where do you think you’re going?” Erik snapped as his mate headed for the doorway.
She pulled up the furs that hung between Sten’s room and the drafty corridor. “Away from you.”
Erik immediately stood, intent on going after her, but Sten mirrored him, blocking his path.
“She’s upset,” Sten said. “Give her some breathing room.”
Erik was getting very tired of people thinking they could order him around. “I’m not leaving her on her own.”
“No one would try to hurt her while you’re in the den, and you don’t have to worry about her getting lost. She can navigate these tunnels better than some of the wolves in our pack. Besides, we really need to finish our conversation.”
Erik reluctantly sat down. In the back of his mind, he set a timer: five minutes. Wherever she was going, he would catch up to her first, and they would finish what they’d started. He would make her understand his logic, and once she did, she would take back all of the absurd things she’d said to him.
“This Elena, whoever she is, she could be bluffing. What if the bears are headed here? After all, they must know that they’re going to need a lot of territory if they want to survive up here. It’s not like the south, where there’s forest and ample game.”
“We’ll prepare for that possibility, but I think it’s unlikely,” Erik said. “They can’t afford to take both territories, at least not right now.”
He remembered what Zane had said to him on the night they’d agreed to an alliance. That once the bears were done with Siluit, they’d head for Amarok. He dismissed the thought, deciding that if that day did come, he would be ready.
“They’re going to send scouts,” Erik informed him. “It was agreed that we would take them to Siluit so that they could see the state of the pack for themselves.”
“How do you plan on doing that?”
Erik shrugged. “We will tell Zane that they want to discuss peace.”
“So you’re going to lie to him,” Sten said, appearing uncomfortable. “You’ll lead his enemy right into his den and he’ll have let his guard down. He won’t even have time to prepare for when the bears do attack.”
“Your point?”
Sten looked away. “I don’t know. Maybe a year ago, I would have called that brilliant, but…doesn’t this feel wrong to you?”
“No,” Erik said, feeling his eyes narrow. “As I see it, it is us or them. If you have a better plan, then please, enlighten me.”
Sten shook his head, and Erik found himself disappointed. He hadn’t realized it, but he’d actually wanted Sten to come up with a better plan. While he in no way felt responsible for the fate of the Siluit pack, it frustrated him that his mate was going to blame him for its demise.
“If you are going to go through with this, I think you should at least let me go ahead and try to extract Astrid’s sister,” said Sten.
“How do you intend on doing that?” Erik asked, unfolding his arms. “Zane won’t give her up, not unless you warn him, and even then, he might be too stubborn.”
“Maybe we should let him know. He might leave on his own.”
Erik didn’t dignify that with a response. No alpha would give up his territory without a fight, least of all Zane, as his territory had been passed down through multiple generations. If they warned him of what was coming, he’d do everything in his power to combat the bear shifters. If taking Siluit proved to be too time-consuming, they might look elsewhere-towards Amarok. For the safety of his own pack, Erik was relying on Siluit to be conquered.
“Okay,” Sten said with a frown. “Then, how about I go ahead to inform him that representatives from the bear tribes will be coming to negotiate with him. I’ll advise that he brings Ginnifer to Amarok while everything gets sorted out. I doubt he’ll go for it, but at least then, you’ll have put forth an effort to protect Astrid’s sister.”
And then Astrid wouldn’t be able to blame him if her sister met with an unfortunate end. He liked that idea.
“Fine. But do not give him any indication of our intentions.”
Erik stood, and he felt a slight weight lift from his shoulders as he headed for the door. Eager to go find his mate, he was annoyed when Sten stopped him.
“I feel like you’re projecting yourself onto Zane,” Sten said hesitantly. “Zane isn’t like you. If push came to shove, I don’t think he’d stay to defend his territory. Or at the very least, he wouldn’t let his mate stay there while he did so.”
Erik hung in the doorway for a moment, and then left without responding. He was convinced that none of this was relevant to him—after all, since when did he ever have to concern himself with the welfare of other packs? All that mattered was his own pack, and to think otherwise would jeopardize everything that he’d built over the past decade.
***
Following his mate’s scent down the dark, winding tunnels, Erik had found her not in her room, or in the main room, but in his own room. He paused outside th
e narrow crevice and listened. He’d half expected to hear her crying, which would have given him a good excuse to wait outside. But all he could hear was the faint sound of her rhythmic breathing.
He stepped inside, quietly, so as not to disturb her if she were sleeping. Usually, he had no qualms about waking her, but he didn’t feel inclined to talk to her, he only wanted to make certain that she was safe, and perhaps, to get a brief glimpse of her face.
The room no longer smelled like his own. In fact, his scent had faded from it almost entirely. Either that, or hers was covering it up. She was the only female he’d ever allowed into his room, as he preferred that it wasn’t adulterated with the scent of another; particularly the smells of sweat and other bodily excretions that tended to go hand in hand with sharing a bed.
Now, his room was saturated in his mate’s scent, or at least, what his mate now smelled like. He missed the floral undertones of her scent, which had now become overpowered by the saccharine fragrance of her impending motherhood.
“You’ve been sleeping in my room,” he said, contradicting his plan to not talk to her.
She was laying on his bed furs, his favorite caribou pelt drawn up over her shoulders. He expected her to be startled when she heard him, after all, he hadn’t made a sound. But she didn’t so much as twitch. Her eyes moved to him languidly, to stare at him blankly.
“Not every night. Only the ones I have trouble sleeping.”
He didn’t like seeing her face devoid of emotion, and for once, he knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of the stoic treatment.
“Why?”
“I guess it makes me feel safe.”
Erik felt himself nodding. That made sense. He had chosen this room, with its narrow entrance and compact space, for the very purpose of feeling enclosed and secure. There where no corners where an enemy could be hiding, and only one entrance to watch for intruders.
He sat down next to her, stretching his long legs out parallel to hers. He leaned back on one arm and looked down at his mate. Since she’d first come to his den, her skin had lost some of its bronze luster, taking on a pearlescent hue. Her hair had also changed, which he attributed to her running out of those scented chemicals she’d insisted on using in it each time she’d bathed. What had once been a bushy disarray of curls had smoothed out into large and defined coils with a glossy sheen.
Erik remembered thinking once, long before he’d ever thought of taking the human as his mate, that she had looked good enough to eat. Though he hadn’t found her to be overly attractive, her body had held a certain appeal to him. Now, however, she looked radiant, even as her soft lips puckered into a petulant frown.
“What do you want?” she asked. “I told you I wanted to be alone.”
She hadn’t said that, not explicitly, but he wasn’t going to debate that with her now. Her anger, which had once been a source of amusement for him, no longer held the same appeal. It was tiring, and he wanted it to be over.
“I came to tell you that I am sending Sten to get your sister.”
His mate shot up so quickly that her head nearly collided with his chin. Rather than thanking him, she flung her arms around him and squeezed him with a force he hadn’t known she was capable of. The corners of his lips tugged as her head nestled into the crook of his neck, but he didn’t reciprocate the embrace.
“You should know that I am not doing this because you threatened me,” he told her. “And if you try that again, I will not capitulate, no matter what the issue.”
She pulled away from him, and he found himself wishing that he’d waited a few more moments before opening his mouth.
“I wasn’t threatening you, I was—”
Erik refused to be drawn into another argument. “I am not at fault here. Even without my interference, the bear shifters would have moved in on Siluit’s territory, and alliance or no, Zane and I would not have been able to handle them on our own.”
“But you’re leaving Siluit to be blindsided.”
“If they aren’t aware of what is coming, then it is their own fault. I am not their alpha, and I am not your sister’s mate, nor the father of her pup. I am Amarok’s alpha, and my pack, you, and our pup—they are my only priorities.”
She opened her mouth as though to continue, but instead exhaled softly and looked away. Then, she laid her head back down on his shoulder. Her body was slack, as though all of the air had left it in that small sigh.
“I understand that you’re doing what you have to do, and I’m not mad at you, not really. I’m mad at myself, because I can’t do anything. I can’t go save my sister, I can’t even warn her that a bunch of stupid bears are going to come and tear apart her life.
“I hate this… I should be really happy right now, and I’m miserable because I’m so damn worried about her. It’s like last autumn all over again. Did you know that two days before my flight to Canada, I was finally offered a promotion? I worked so hard for that, swallowing my pride every single day for years, and I had to turn it down so that I could chase my little sister across the damn tundra.”
Erik allowed her to rant, his fingers compulsively toying with the coils of her hair. Listening to her talk—and he was listening for a change—he realized how little he knew about her life, or at least, the one she’d had before she’d met him. He had never given much thought to it, and even now it was hard to imagine she’d ever been anything or anyone’s besides his.
“Your sister is a fool,” Erik said. “But this is not her fault. It is not the fault of the bears either—they need a territory and food, and Zane’s small pack happens to be situated in the middle of the only one that can sustain them. You cannot blame her for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
She was quiet for a moment, and Erik thought she might have fallen asleep. But when he looked down, her eyes were wide open, though they were unfocused.
Her voice distant, she said, “You know, the first time I saw you, it wasn’t that night at the camp.”
His brows rose.
“Ginnifer filmed you. Only for a few seconds. She was fascinated by your eyes. I was, too, when I first saw it. Zane was incredibly good-looking, but you…you were so stunning. I must have rewound that clip a dozen times, trying to memorize every detail of your face, and that was way before I ever thought I’d meet you.”
Erik tried to pay attention, but his mind had slunk into dark places when she’d mentioned Zane. If getting her to become supplicant hadn’t been such an ordeal, he would have stopped her right there and ordered her never to speak of the other alpha again.
“I think maybe that’s why I tried to find you. There were other shifters on that map that might have been able to help, but I needed it to be you. I needed to see you in person and…”
When he looked down at her again, her cheeks were flushed. He felt his wolf settle a bit, and although he had no plans of letting her comments about Zane slide, he wouldn’t press the issue for now.
She took a deep breath. “Erik, I… You’re…very important to me.”
“Of course I am. I’m your mate.” Erik couldn’t help his clipped tone. He was the most important person to her.
“Um, no, I mean…” she trailed off, appearing flustered, and something else…shy? “If anything ever happened to you, I wouldn’t know what to do.”
You certainly wouldn’t take another mate, he thought bitterly.
He knew there was nothing he could do to stop that, and his mind conjured images of Zane sneering down at his corpse, Ginnifer on one arm, and Astrid on the other. Although it was hard, he dismissed the thought, knowing how wildly improbable that would be.
Then, his mind manufactured another scenario, one that was somehow worse, because it could actually happen. If he died, Sten would likely become alpha—and likely drive Amarok into the ground, but not before claiming Erik’s mate as his own. A growl rose from his chest before he could stop it.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
; He ignored the question. “There is no point in wondering what you would do without me, because it’s irrelevant. You would be dead.”
While he would never seek to orchestrate their joint passing, he felt secure in the idea of his mate dying at the same time as him. He certainly didn’t want to outlive her, but he also didn’t want to think about another male ever touching her.
“That’s not what I—wait, what? How can you say that with a straight face?”
“Because it’s true. You’d never survive without me,” he said, giving her a smug smile. “And if you think that another male would be able to protect—”
She shoved at his chest. “And what about our baby? Is he going to die, too?”
Erik had not considered that, and felt an odd sensation spread across his face, as though all the blood was leaving it.
What would happen to his pup if he died? Who would protect him, provide for him, and teach him the skills he needed to survive? Again, Erik felt the same rash of selfishness he’d had at the thought of another male with his mate, but now, it was different. He didn’t want to think of anyone but himself raising his son, but he also couldn’t stomach the thought of his only progeny dying. His son had to live.
And so did his mother. Who else could feed their pup from her breast? And no one else would be able to nurture him as though he was truly their own. At least, that had been Erik’s experience when his mother had passed.
Erik gave a slight grimace as acid churned in his empty stomach. All along, he’d been dimly aware of his mate, still rambling in aggravated tones.
“—a contingency plan. Your world is so dangerous! There are men with guns, giant polar bear shifters, wolverines, you never know what’s going to happen and I—what are you doing?”
Erik had placed his hand on the back of her head and drew her in against his chest. His fingers massaged the back of her scalp while he waited for her to settle down.
“I won’t die,” he told her.
“You don’t know that,” she whispered, her arms coming up to encircle his waist.
He didn’t say anything else, and to his relief, she didn’t press him. Within seconds, he had come to a realization that had him questioning everything he knew to be true. If the bear tribes did attack Amarok, Erik could not fall with his pack. He would take his mate and his son far away from there, and he would not look back.
Enslaved by the Alpha (Shifters of Nunavut Book 2) Page 28
