Keeping Secrets (The Essien Trilogy, #1)

by Kiru Taye

  I will overcome.

  She opened her eyes and stared out the window through a mist of tears.

  Name your monster and conquer it. Ten years ago, she’d learned the phrase. Now she put it into practice and named her three-headed dragon.

  Fear. Pain. Guilt.

  She had just flown thousands of miles from New York to Lagos, leaving her old, much-loved life behind to come back to a country she didn’t want anything to do with. The country that had claimed the lives of her father and brother.

  Yet, she had to come because her mother had insisted; her only surviving relative now wheelchair-bound. She loved her mother and couldn’t refuse her anything. Also, it being the ten-year anniversary of the accident, her mother wanted to hold a memorial. Ebony couldn’t very well miss that, could she?

  Now she sat in the back seat of the car with Mr. Felix Essien. More like Lord Essien, the way people ran around to do his bidding. First, there’d been the man who hovered around him—she’d assumed he must be his bodyguard.

  Tut! Why did he need a bodyguard, anyway? The man had been quick to take over her luggage trolley without even a look from Felix. Then the driver had been at attention the minute they stepped out into the bright late afternoon sunshine and had opened the door of the vehicle for her and Felix to get in.

  Why couldn’t her mum have allowed her to take a taxi if Afam proved unavailable? She could have found her way home without fuss. But, oh no! Good old Mum had other ideas. She arranged this little set up on purpose; Ebony could swear it. She could sense when her mother tried to meddle.

  She squeezed her face into a frown as the car raced down the highway. Lagos had changed so much since the last time she visited here. Starting from the better-controlled airport terminal, to the road leading to Lagos Island and Ikoyi. The street vendors and shacks she had seen the last time had been cleared out and the streets cleaned. No police checkpoints to extort cash out of motorists. Better still, fully functioning traffic lights regulated the traffic, with cars stopped at red signals. A far cry from the Lagos she remembered.

  The hairs on the back of her neck prickled and she knew he watched her. On purpose, she’d chosen to look out of the window instead of facing Felix. Her body’s response to him had scared her—scratch that—annoyed her. She had no business being attracted to men like him. She’d already been down that road before and paid the price. No more for her.

  But you find him attractive, though?

  So who wouldn’t be attracted to a good-looking man? In his expensive, hand-made grey suit, he looked irresistible, the cut perfect for his well-toned body. He exuded class, sophistication, and power.

  Anger coursed through her veins at the way she’d responded to him. Her body had hummed with the awareness of him. Still buzzed at his closeness—the reason she refused to look at him. He’d be able to read it in her eyes, the ability to hide her emotions not her strong point.

  “It seems Lagos has changed a lot since I was last here,” she said, risking a glance at him through her lowered lashes.

  He studied her in return, a knowing smile on his face. Her body tingled with heat under his scrutiny.

  “Yes, the Lagos state government has been working hard to improve the environment for its residents in recent years. I take it you are not happy to be here.”

  She stiffened in her seat and glared at him.

  Just great! She’d been sulking so much even Lord Felix had noticed. Not rising to the bait, though, she frowned, instead.

  He simply chuckled, a light-hearted laughter that reverberated in the car. Ebony couldn’t resist the smile that tugged at her face. Felix had an overwhelming smile and charm. The softened lines made her want to kiss his face.

  “So, when was the last time you visited?” he asked, still smiling.

  She hesitated before answering. She didn’t want to travel back down that road of memories. However, as soon as she’d stepped off the plane, the humid heat, the earthy smell, and the bustling sights had transported her back ten years. She couldn’t avoid it. Perhaps talking to a stranger would be cathartic.

  “I was last in Lagos ten years ago. My brother, Chidi, and my dad had just been buried—” She choked, biting her lower lip to stop herself from crying as tears stung her eyes. The memories hurt her heart as well as her head. Worse, she felt guilty—responsible for their deaths.

  With blurred eyes, she turned towards the window, blinking to stop the tears from falling, not wanting to break down in front of Felix. She inhaled his citrusy, masculine cologne as he leaned closer and put a handkerchief into her hand.

  “I’m sorry for your loss. I didn’t realise that would’ve been the last time you visited. I was in London at the time for my masters programme study and missed the ceremony.”

  A hand settled on her shoulder, moving in a light caress, his warmth seeping into her skin, soothing her. She leaned into the soft leather seat and gazed up at him. Sympathetic dark eyes stared back at her. They had none of the earlier arrogance, which surprised her.

  He hadn’t come across as the listening kind when she’d first seen him. Not that she was the talking kind. She didn’t discuss this topic with anybody, even her closest friends. But she’d been dreading this trip for months. Now, finally here, the apprehension sat like rocks in her stomach. Having someone to listen seemed a good idea, if it would give her some relief.

  “It’s just so hard being back here. As soon as I stepped off the plane, the memories came flooding back.” She spoke with her heart heavy in the dark memories, her head bowed.

  “I understand. It couldn’t have been easy for you to come back here. If you’d rather not talk about it....” His voice came at her soft and kind.

  “I’m all right.” She sniffed into the handkerchief.

  “Is that so?”

  She looked up and saw him smiling, his lips in a tender curve that had her heart thudding in her chest. The hard lines around his eyes softened and his cheek acquired a dimple. Lord Felix had a human heart beneath the fierce-looking exterior.

  And she risked losing hers.

  “Yes,” she confirmed. She couldn’t help smiling back, and some of the weight of her emotions lifted. “You know, I refused to return. I swore I’d never come back here. But my mother practically blackmailed me. Mothers, don’t you just love them?” She gave a tentative laugh.

  “I know what you mean. Parents can be very manipulative. My father goes to extraordinary lengths to get his children to do what he wants sometimes.” Felix’s warm laughter cheered her up.

  “Oh. You don’t want to start me on that one. I have stories.”

  “And so do I.”

  Why is it so easy to talk to this man?

  They both stopped laughing as the electricity between them intensified, drawing her closer to him, daring her to lean into him as she got mesmerised watching his lips. For a moment, it looked like he would kiss her. At the back of her head, a warning light started flashing.

  You are on dangerous ground here. Back away.

  She did and leaned into her seat, putting some distance between them. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

  His intense stare held her riveted for a moment. “Because I, too, have lost a parent. My mother died when I was a boy.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry,” she replied with a compassionate ache in her heart for this man she hardly knew, yet felt a strong connection towards. Her hand landed on his thigh before she realised what she’d done and she withdrew it.

  “Thank you,” he said, still studying her with an intensity that stopped her heart. “We are here.”

  She turned and stared out of the window. They’d arrived at her parents’ residence in the leafy Ikoyi suburb of Lagos—a large, white, colonial-style house with sprawling gardens. Strange—though she hadn’t been in the house for years, seeing it again made her feel like she’d come home. The driver came around and opened the door. Before Felix could get out, she reached out and touched his arm. He turned back to her.


  “I...I just wanted to say thank you for listening and understanding. I know I wasn’t on my best behaviour earlier. Thanks for not judging me.”

  “You’re welcome. Anytime you want to unburden, here’s my card. Call me. My personal number is on the back.” He flashed white teeth, passing her his black, gold-embossed business card, and she smiled in return.

  “Thanks, I’ll bear that in mind.”

  Feeing less anxious, she turned and stepped out with a smile on her face. Maybe this trip home wouldn’t be as bad as she’d imagined.

  The image of a woman sitting next to him in the back seat of his car floated in Felix’s mind as he sat in his hospital bed trying to remember. Shoulders and back stiff, her gaze focused on the scenery whizzing by the car as they sped towards the island and their final destination, Ikoyi. Her coppery brown hair had been tied back in a knot, giving him full view of a smooth neck column that fascinated him. A steady pulse beat at the base of her neck. He squeezed his fingers into a fist, fighting the impulse to touch her skin.

  The present blended with the past. He remembered his response and thinking he’d met a goddess, remembered the swarm of emotions on her face and feeling like he wanted to hold and never let her go.

  Roses. Jasmine. Musk. Her perfume drifted in the air.

  Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, drawing her scent into his lungs and setting his veins on fire. It took an effort not to groan out loud. He clenched his teeth.

  Instant attraction. No other explanation for the breathtaking immediacy of his need for Ebony. A craving eclipsing anything he'd ever felt for any other woman. The sensation stayed with him now while the memory faded into a haze as he struggled to recall more.

  He opened his eyes and stared at her sitting inches away from him.

  “From what you say, we had something good to start with, didn’t we?” Uncertainty laced his query.

  “We did,” she answered in a rueful voice.

  “Then give me another chance.” Determination and purpose settled on his shoulders.

  “What?”

  He’d sworn he would never get married because of his parents. Now, regardless of the circumstances surrounding his marriage, he wanted a chance to make it work.

  “I don’t know what happened. Whatever it is, I want the chance to make amends.”

  Shaking her head, she slid off the bed. Desperate, only his promise not to pounce on her stopped him from reaching for her.

  “If you’re not going to give me another chance, what is the alternative? We can’t go on like this.”

  Spinning around, she caught his gaze. “There is one option.”

  Cold, bold brown eyes didn’t waver. He read the message in them.

  “Divorce? We haven’t had a chance to make this marriage work.”

  “You made your opinion of this marriage very clear at our wedding.” The disdain in her voice rivalled the chilly Harmattan winds from the North.

  He puffed out air in frustration. The night would haunt him forever and he couldn’t remember a damned thing!

  “We’ve only been married two months.” He tried another tactic.

  “Six weeks. Five days. Twelve hours....” She glanced at the diamond and platinum link watch on her wrist.

  He couldn’t help grinning. There had to be hope for them. “You’ve been counting.”

  A small smile played on her lips. “Only because that’s how long you’ve been in this hospital.”

  “I’m sorry.” He took a chance and reached out for her.

  She stared at his hand as if it was a king cobra.

  “If you give me the chance, I’ll be the best husband ever.” His chest constricted as he drowned and waited for her to throw him a lifeline. “I promise, I won’t cheat on you. I won’t lie to you. I’ll give you the finest things money can buy. I will take care of you.” And I will love you.

  Pushing the thought aside, he didn’t say the last bit. It had to be the reason he was in this predicament. Married when he’d never wanted to be before he met Ebony. Yes, the board at Apex Private Bank had given him an ultimatum about getting married.

  Knowing his history, he would never have married Ebony unless he loved her. It would explain this desperation he felt to keep her in his life. What else would it be?

  Disbelief flickered in her gaze. Why would she doubt him? What did he do to deserve such suspicion?

  “I swear—”

  “No. Don’t swear.”

  Brought up a Catholic, swearing on anything holy was forbidden. Yet, he would’ve sworn on his life.

  “I’ll give you one month.”

  Breath rushed out of him, and he ran a palm over his face. One month should be plenty of time. God willing, he would have his memories back by then.

  “Good.” He kept his hand outstretched, palm open. “Come, ima-mmi. We need a kiss to seal the deal.”

  This time, she took his hand, and when he tugged, her chest descended across his. Fisting his fingers in her hair, he claimed her lips as fiercely as he’d wanted to the first time. No finesse. Just passion and urgency as their tongues tangled.

  Their second kiss as far as he could recall, her taste already an addiction filling his body with granite need.

  Murmurs of pleasure called him to explore the pliant curves crushed against his torso. Instead, he broke the kiss. Panting breath feathered his face in warm puffs.

  “Go home. Get plenty of rest. Prepare yourself for me.” He nibbled her soft lips. “We have a lot of catching up to do, starting with our wedding night.”

  The sound of her hitched breath and the sight of her lust-filled eyes widened his grin. Passionate Ebony had returned. He would keep her hot and wanting; she wouldn’t think about leaving him.

  Stroking his knuckles across her cheek, he pressed his lips against hers one final time before releasing her.

  She wobbled on feet and straightened.

  With a grin plastered on his face, he called Kola. “She is ready.”

  Chapter Four

  Prepare yourself for me.

  Ebony’s head echoed with Felix’s instruction as she sat at her dresser two days later. A thousand butterflies fluttered in her tummy while her blood seemed to have turned into fizzy champagne.

  She clutched her chest, heart thumping a fast, erratic beat. Had she ever been so excited and nervous at the same time?

  “I am the epitome of serenity,” she chanted and closed her eyes, letting the peaceful sounds of her environment permeate her mind.

  Birds tweeted, insects chirruped, wind whistled through the trees in the garden. Tranquillity. One of the benefits of living in a private cul-de-sac on a vast mansion where your nearest neighbour’s noise couldn’t reach you, nor did you get any traffic rumble.

  Opening her eyes, she busied herself with getting ready and looking her best. A visit to her hairdresser the previous day had left her straightened hair soft and silky. Now with blow dryer and heat tong in hand, she styled it into waves cascading down her shoulders in waves. The auburn highlights set off the amber of her eyes.

  Felix would be home today; the doctors had given the all clear. He could go home as long as he rested and took things one day at a time. His physiotherapy appointments had been scheduled. Being in familiar surroundings would help to jog his memory, the doctor had said.

  Gladness lifted her spirits. Having Felix home would be the answer to long prayers at his bedside each day he’d been unconscious.

  She hadn't received any further phone calls from the strange man who had threatened her, so she dismissed it as a crank call and shifted it to the back of her mind. Moreover, there was no need adding to Felix's troubles. He had his hands full with amnesia.

  At dawn, she’d risen, eager to ensure everything was laid out as planned for his arrival. She’d instructed the domestic staff on what she needed the previous day. Housekeeper, gardener, gateman, even the part-time laundry boy that came in twice a week—all stood before her and she’d laid out
her instructions.

  Today, the sweet scent of fresh flowers filled the house, surfaces gleamed with polish, garden hedges looked trimmed, all the cars were washed, and Felix’s favourite food had been cooked.

  Ebony now needed to look the part of the lady of the house. A woman looking forward to her husband’s homecoming.

  In truth, she didn’t need to pretend. As much as the unknown future scared her, excitement at seeing Felix home overwhelmed every other emotion.

  The determination in his eyes when he’d promised to be the best husband ever convinced her of his intentions. His sincerity and openness has been surprising but welcomed. He’d begged her. Something he’d never done before. So unlike the ruthless and business-driven man from before the accident.

  “This is your second chance,” his father had said.

  Perhaps the accident and Felix’s memory loss provided the opportunity for them to let go of the past and start again. Perhaps this new Felix would care for her.

  Perhaps he would love her one day....

  If it would heal the bitterness surrounding her heart, she would give them a chance.

  And if the way he’d kissed her indicated what lay ahead, then she would embrace it.

  Cheeks burning, she fingered her lips, remembering the caress of his fingers and mouth, the sweep of his tongue, the nip of his teeth. The grind of his hips.

  “Oh, God!” she moaned out loud and squeezed her thighs together.

  Since the kiss, two nights ago, he hadn’t touched her.

  Well, he had. A feather peck on the cheek, a gentle squeeze of the hand, a brief hug—fleeting gestures had left her craving more of him.

  Ironic, since she’d spent six weeks since their marriage with no sexual stimuli.

  Felix awoke, held and kissed her, turning her into a walking hormone bomb. Now she hoped her husband would go back on a promise he’d made before their marriage.

  At the full-length mirror, she studied her appearance. The multi-print lace and organza dress with intricate gold embroidery flowed and shimmered over her body like a waterfall.

  Flat-heeled diamante sandals and gold nail varnish glittered on her feet. She preferred walking barefoot in the house, but not on a special day like today.