Dark Matter (Interchron Book 3)

by Liesel K. Hill

  He sat in the chair he always used without another word.

  Doc went to the computer and sat down, Lila at his shoulder.

  Jonah waited quietly for Doc to set up simulation, thinking about the mission. He never done anything like this before. He’d certainly never worked as a military man or a stunt guy or anything of the sort. Never participated in anything with such high stakes. Fear made his heart pound if he thought about it too much.

  He supposed most of the group felt the same way, yet all of them remained cool and collected—on the outside, anyway—as the hour drew near for them to try for the orb that would keep them free.

  "So, explain to me again what we’re trying to accomplish here," Jonah said. He and Lila had practiced in the same cavern they’d used before for Jonah's memory sequence.

  "Most human beings don't realize we can train our minds to be different than they are." Doc said. "It all has to do with emotion. Negative emotions about any task make us more likely to fail at it. It's why people have a hard time motivating themselves. Positive emotions make us more likely to succeed. You need to associate positive emotions with this memory you're trying to recover, Jonah."

  "Don't take this the wrong way, Doc," Jonah said. "But I'm not sure this is going to work. I'm frustrated I haven’t recovered more of the memory. Until that changes, I’ll continue to be frustrated."

  "That's exactly what we’re trying to remedy today, Jonah," Doc said. "Listen to me carefully," he pointed a finger at Jonah, looking serious. "This time, when we go through the sequence, find positive things. So far, each time we’ve run it, your brain has filled with the negative energy. It's completely understandable. At times, the memory involved mystery, pain, and fear. Now that you understand it’s simply a memory you need to work through, the energy in your brain is less negative. You’re not where you need to be yet, though. If you can't create positive energy around this memory, you shouldn’t come with us on the mission."

  Jonah gasped. Doc hadn't mentioned him not coming on the mission before. "If Maggie and Lila and everyone else are going, then I'm going," Jonah said firmly.

  Doc nodded, as though he'd expected as much. "Truthfully Jonah, we need you. But as you yourself said, we can't take anyone who might prove a liability. The collective tends to focus in on negative energy. Being surrounded by such energy could make taking you with us risky. So make the energy positive. Consciously decide that no matter what this memory holds, you’ll be okay. Find ways to make it okay. Have a positive outlook as you go through, and your brain will create new pathways to make it a reality. Do you understand?"

  Jonah nodded, not sure he did. He’d do whatever it took to make sure he accompanied Maggie on this mission.

  "Good," Doc said. "Let's start the sequence."

  Jonah leaned back and shut his eyes. The now-familiar memory descended around him. He stood in the hallway of the house with white walls and brown carpet. Moving swiftly, he walked toward the living space, confident in what he’d see.

  "Jonah," Doc said. "Make sure to verbalize what you see."

  "I'm in the living space now, Doc." Jonah said. "Heading for the front door." The front porch and yard lay before him. A few green balloons decorated the yard in random places. Others hovered lazily on the horizon. At least they didn’t try to block anything out. Not yet.

  As before, a baby car seat sat on the porch. The blanket inside moved as the baby kicked and squirmed. Without hesitation, Jonah crossed to it, squatted down, and peered inside. A tiny baby, no more than a week or two old, gazed up at him sleepily. While the baby’s face didn’t automatically look familiar, he’d know those eyes anywhere. The baby girl’s eyes rolled back in her head as she fell asleep, head lolling to one side. Two green balloons tied to the handle of the infant seat proclaimed, It's a girl!

  "Jonah?" Lila's disembodied voice filled the air around him.

  Jonah quickly related everything he'd seen. Doc's voice followed.

  "Jonah, look around. What else do you see? What else draws your eyes?"

  Jonah obeyed, sweeping his eyes around the yard. Something moved in his peripheral vision. A lean woman walked away from the house, down the Flagstone pathway leading to the street.

  "Doc, there's a woman."

  "Do you know who she is, Jonah?"

  “I can’t tell. She’s walking away. I can’t see her face.”

  “Your mother, perhaps?” Doc’s disembodied voice asked.

  “Maybe. What she’s wearing…it’s not my mother’s usual style.”

  “Make note of it, Jonah,” Doc said. “Even if it means nothing now, the clothes may be a clue for later.”

  Jonah focused on the woman’s attire. She wore an odd, earth-toned hoodie with the hood raised. He felt sure it was a woman, though. At the angle she walked, he could make out the shape of her breasts. She reached the street and turned left, still not giving him a view of her face. She then winked out of the memory.

  “She’s gone,” Jonah said.

  “Keep going,” Doc answered. “What else do you see?”

  Jonah scanned the scene. Nothing else moved. Nothing jumped out at him. His mind kept returning to the woman in the hoodie. Jonah felt a strange sensation, as though he hadn't seen the entirety of the memory…

  Flicker.

  Jonah stood inside the house again, standing in front of the closed front door.

  Doc's voice reached his ears. "Jonah? What’s happening?"

  "I rewound the memory, Doc. I need to walk out onto the front porch again."

  No answer came, so Jonah turned the doorknob. He walked onto the front porch, searching for the hoodie-clad woman. For some reason, he expected things to be different. They weren't. The baby seat sat in its place. The woman walked away from the house toward the street. Jonah shook his head. No, he could do better.

  Flicker.

  He stood in the hallway again, far back in the house. Doc's voice reached his ears again.

  "Jonah? Did you rewind again?"

  "Yes," Jonah said. "I went further back."

  He started down the hallway toward the front door. He reached a hand toward the doorknob, but hesitated. Instead of opening the door, he went to a window several feet to the right. Being a child, he had to climb up onto a chair to see. When he peered out, things looked different. The porch stood empty. No baby seat in sight. As Jonah peered out, the woman approached, holding baby seat, and set it down.

  Jonah still couldn't see her face. Not clearly. Though she stood much closer to him, the light outside was murky and he couldn't make out her features. Something dark framed her face, though. A scarf beneath the hood, or perhaps her hair? He couldn’t tell.

  This must be his mother, though. Who else would set down a baby seat on the porch?

  There must be some way for Jonah to get a better look at this woman. He needed to know why this memory was so significant. Why he’d blocked it out.

  Flicker.

  Jonah stood at the juncture between the hallway and the living space. This time he ran straight to the window to look out. Once again, the woman bent to set the baby seat on the porch.

  Pause.

  Everything froze. Jonah didn’t know if this would work, but it was worth a shot.

  "Jonah, tell us what's happening." Doc's voice sounded curious, but not anxious.

  "I paused the memory, Doc," Jonah said. "I'm going out on the porch to get a better look at her." He opened the door, half expecting the woman to be walking away, as she had each time he opened the door before. But no, the pause worked. She stood with one hand on the handle of the baby seat, having just set it on the porch. Everything stood still, as though he'd hit pause on a DVD.

  Jonah moved across the porch as quietly as possible, illogically afraid that if he made too much noise, it would disturb the pause. The woman’s face was angled down, toward the baby seat, and partially away from him. Jonah made out the curve of her nose and the pits of her eyes, but nothing distinctive

  He m
oved closer. Green balloons appeared on either side of him.

  "Oh no.”

  "What is it Jonah?" Lila's voice came, sounding worried.

  "The balloons…" Jonah reached the baby seat. The balloons multiplied. They created a wall, covering the woman’s face and clothing as Jonah drew near.

  Jonah fought to stay in the memory, but it slipped away from him. As the balloons overtook his sight, his eyes opened in the chamber at Interchron. Lila stood looking down at him while Doc studied the computer intensely a few feet away.

  Jonah groaned in annoyance.

  "You all right?" Lila asked.

  Jonah nodded. "I guess. I didn't get much further."

  "On the contrary, Jonah." Doc said. "You did something fascinating. You have more control over this memory than you realize."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I noticed a change in your brain when you paused the memory. As if your brain took control of it in a way you haven’t before. You're stepped outside it and played it like a simulation. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  “What does it mean, Doc?” Lila asked.

  “I don’t know,” Doc admitted. “Perhaps it simply has to do with how many times we’ve done this.” He addressed Jonah. “You’re getting used to it. Teaching yourself to control it. Whatever the reason, you’re close to figuring out what this memory means, Jonah."

  Jonah wished he felt Doc’s confidence. "How can you be sure? What if this memory is hours long? We’ve only uncovered a couple of minutes."

  Doc shook his head. "I doubt there’s much more. The memory starts a few minutes before this woman left the baby on the porch. Whatever the reason, this memory must have strong emotion attached to it, and you have blocked it out. Your mind would focus on the actual moment to which the emotion is tied. I think we’re minutes from understanding why this memory is significant. If we could dedicate a full day to doing the sequence over and over, I think we’d figure it out in a matter of hours. Unfortunately..." he trailed off.

  "We don't have the time," Jonah finished for him.

  "Any insights, Jonah?" Lila asked. “Any idea what it means? Who the baby is?"

  "The baby is Maggie. I'm sure of it. This is the day she came home from the hospital, which means I was three years old. Probably the first time I met my little sister. The balloons all say, ‘baby girl.’ I still don't understand why I would block it out. I think the woman must be my mother. Who else would be setting Maggie's baby seat on the front porch? Remember, in one of the previous memories, my mother appeared on the porch in front of me."

  Lila frowned thoughtfully.

  "What?" Jonah asked. "Please, I’d welcome any thoughts," he added when she didn't answer right away.

  "Why,” she paused, “would your mother set Maggie's baby seat on the front porch…and walk away?"

  Jonah frowned. "I don't know. There might be many reasons. Maybe she went to get something else from the car?"

  "Did you see a car in the driveway?"

  "No, but I wasn't looking.” Jonah frowned. Now that he thought about it, Lila was right. It didn’t make much sense for it to be his mother. She’d left entirely after setting down the car seat. “Actually, the woman didn’t stop in the driveway. She went out to the sidewalk, turned left and kept going.” He couldn’t make sense of it. “I can look for a car this next time."

  Doc shook his head. "I'd prefer to stop there for today."

  "We just started," Jonah objected.

  "We’ve accomplished what I wanted to accomplish,” Doc said. “Because you equate the balloons with Maggie's birth, you no longer see them as a threat. As soon as you determined the baby was Maggie, your emotional reaction to the scene changed. I saw it,” he nodded toward the computer. “You’re in a healthy place where this memory is concerned. If we run the simulation again and you see or feel something negative, we’ll be back to square one."

  Jonah ground his teeth moodily. Once again, the orb needed to be their priority. Assuming they got a hold of the damn thing, they could return to his memory afterwards. He wished he didn’t have to wait. And he felt like an ass for being so selfish.

  Doc stared at his computer a few more minutes, tapping buttons and entering information while Jonah and Lila looked on. He stood and used the conduit stone he brought for a quick medical scan on Jonah.

  “Everything looks good. You both seem fit to join us on the mission. We’ll need you.”

  Lila beamed with excitement.

  Jonah hid his a smile.

  “Keep practicing the Concealment and make sure to get enough rest. How is he doing, Lila?”

  “He’s a natural, Doc,” Lila smiled at Jonah.

  “Good. Glad to hear it. Not surprised, though. He’s Maggie’s brother after all.” He winked good-naturedly at Jonah. “I have other work to do. Keep at it.”

  Jonah watched the white-haired man leave. At Kadin’s cabin, Maggie talked about how stressful it felt to be expected to do things she didn’t remember how to do. Jonah now understood what she’d meant. He might be Maggie’s brother, but he might as well be a 3-year-old again for as much use as he’d be.

  "You’ll be fine, Jonah," Lila said, studying his face. “Don’t worry so much. I'll help you. I’ll be directing your energy. You don't have to do much except stand there."

  He knew she meant to comfort him, but it did little to sooth the knots in his stomach. "What if I fail?"

  Lila’s smile faltered. “How might you fail?"

  "I don't know. I can't seem to get a handle on this memory. If I can’t do that…."

  "That's not your fault. Most people couldn't have come so far so fast. Plenty of people work through blocks. You’re making good progress. It always takes time."

  Jonah nodded absently.

  Lila stepped closer and took his hand.

  He looked up to find her peering at him earnestly.

  "You won’t fail, Jonah. I won’t let you."

  Wondering why she cared so much, he asked, "Why?"

  "Because I know what it's like to fear insignificance. To be terrified by it. You may always be in Maggie’s shadow, as I’ll always be in my father’s and mother’s."

  "You idolize your parents," Jonah objected.

  "Yes," Lila said with a sad smile. "My father died a warrior fighting for his beliefs. My mother is named in the prophecy. She's has one of the greatest Protector talents ever recorded. I'm just their mediocre daughter."

  "You're not mediocre, Lila," Jonah said gently.

  Lila shrugged, but she also looked away.

  "Besides,” Jonah said. “I've never minded being Maggie’s shadow."

  "Oh, me either," Lila said quickly. "Please don't think I resent who my parents are or who I am. I’m proud to be their daughter. But some small, arrogant part of me is afraid I’ll never do anything truly helpful against the collectives.”

  Jonah smiled, feeling a kinship for Lila. “Given where you live,who your parents are, and what's happening over the next few days, I don't think you have to worry. I don't think either of us is destined for insignificance."

  Lila gave him a grateful smile.

  "Besides," Jonah said, "when you get mad you…break bones and shit."

  Lila’s eyes widened in surprise.

  Jonah grinned at her.

  She giggled and slugged him in the arm.

  Chapter 19: What is Forbidden

  Tenessa paced aggressively in front of Karl, her feet kicking up in front of her with each step. He wondered if she imagined kicking something specific. Like his shins.

  Karl suppressed a small smile. Something about her temper always amused him, and he’d grown fond of their little shouting matches.

  His mirth faded when Tenessa turned to him, opened her mouth, then closed it and paced again. As she’d been about to shout at him, her face had changed. She looked…upset. There had been fear there. Terror, really.

  He took a step toward her and reached out a hand. “Tenessa—”

/>   “We do not want the Separatist in our head!” Her face might have been carved from stone, her eyes full of thunderbolts, and her chest heaved as though she’d run a great distance.

  Karl dropped his hand. “You believe in collective living. I thought you felt lonely without other voices. Won’t it comfort you to have someone else in your head again?”

  “The Separatist misrepresents the situation and he knows it,” she spat, pacing once more. “I’ll be tied to his emotions and neurochemical sense of me. Not his thoughts. The Separatist plans to use a Cupola bond.”

  No question inhabited any part of what she’d said. Amazing what she deduced without Karl’s help.

  “I am,” he said.

  “They’re forbidden!”

  Karl smiled grimly. “Have you never known the excitement of doing something forbidden?”

  Tenessa frowned, looking genuinely confused. Her eyes became challenging again. “Of course we have.”

  Karl rolled his eyes. “Right. Look Tenessa, I know you’re against this, but you have your criteria, and we have ours.”

  She stopped to glare at him again. “Meaning what?”

  “You’ll only help us if we agree to leave you behind. Fair enough. But we don’t trust you, Tenessa. We can hardly let you run around and risk your betrayal. Once we have the orb, I’ll release you from the bond and you’ll be free to return to the collective, or wherever you want.”

  She blinked warily at him. “And if the Separatists fail to obtain the orb?”

  “You’ll return to Interchron with us until we are successful.”

  The look Tenessa gave him tried to peel the skin from his face. He did his best to ignore it.

  “Besides, you can be helpful in other ways. Between seeing particle bonds, what you know of the collectives and the Cimerian, and your ability to block sound—”

  “Our ability will be of no use here,” she interrupted sharply. “The Instigator is dead. The ability only had use against him.”