aterovis_bleedinghearts.pm6

by Arlene Chance

  214

  Bleeding Hearts

  By the time we arrived at Gilly’s at what I thought was early, the yard was already full of cars and we had to park on the road outside the gate.

  “Wow, there’s a lot of people here,” Kane said nervously.

  “You’ll be fine,” I told him. “Just be yourself.”

  He took a deep breath and we got out and started for the front door. Before we got there, however, the welcoming committee, namely Zack and Jesse, met us. Zack was dressed as the killer from Scream; he held his mask in his hand. Jesse was dressed as a bloody corpse.

  “Well, well, well,” Zack started in right away in his smarmy voice. “What do we have here? Who’s your friend? Don’t tell me this is your boyfriend? What will Gilly think?”

  “Hi, Zack,” I said evenly, being careful not to let any emotion show. “This is Kane. He just moved here. He’s Seth’s brother and he’s just like my own brother, so back off and if I see you anywhere near him for the rest of the night, I’ll make sure you regret it.”

  Zack’s eyes widened and Jesse took a step closer. Zack reached out a hand and stopped him without really touching him.

  “Is that a threat?” he asked in a tight voice.

  “Yes,” I said in the same even tone.

  “Don’t start something you can’t finish, Killian.”

  “Who said he can’t finish it?” said a new voice.

  I turned to see who had spoken. To my surprise, I found Asher and Marcus both standing behind Kane.

  Kane looked somewhat scared, Asher and Marcus just looked plain angry.

  Zack and Jesse looked at the four of us as we squared off, then Zack threw me one last dirty look before turning away. As he walked away with Jesse tagging along behind, he said loud enough for us to hear, “Come on, Jesse, they aren’t worth it.”

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  I turned back to Marcus and Asher.

  “Thanks, guys,” I said sincerely.

  “No prob. I’ve known Zack for years. He’s just a big coward really,” Marcus said, “Hey, Killian, I’m sorry I was kind of rude the other day when you were asking me about Seth. I was having a bad day but I still shouldn’t have been like that.”

  “It’s okay,” I told him, “Marcus and Asher, this is Kane, Seth’s little brother. He moved in with us today.

  Kane, this is my best friend Asher and his brother, Marcus.”

  Asher’s face lit up when I called him my best friend.

  Everyone shook hands and together we walked towards the house once more.

  When we walked inside even I was surprised at what we saw, and I’d helped decorate. The enormous entry hall had been decorated to look like a haunted house.

  Cobwebs were draped everywhere and candles burned eerily in silver candlesticks and sconces. Madonna’s dance music thumped from speakers in every room, and people in costume were milling around all over.

  Suddenly someone was at my elbow propelling me forward. I flinched away thinking it was Zack or Jesse, but it turned out to be Gilly.

  “Hey,” I exclaimed.

  “Killian, can I talk to you for a second?” she said, her voice filled with tension.

  “Yeah, but hold on,” I said, “This is Kane, Seth’s brother.”

  She looked at him without seeing him, then started pulling me away again, “Yeah, great, hi,” she mumbled.

  I shrugged towards Kane, Asher, and Marcus and allowed myself to be dragged off towards the kitchen.

  As soon as the kitchen door swung shut, Gilly dropped my arm and faced me.

  “What’s going on with you and Jake?”

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  “What?” I gasped.

  “Todd said that something is going on with you and Jake and I wouldn’t have believed him but I saw how you looked at him the other day.”

  “Gilly...” I started, but she cut me off, which was just as well since I hadn’t decided what to say or how to handle this yet.

  “Killian, you know I like you. I can’t believe you would go after my own brother.”

  “Gilly, you knew from the beginning that I’m gay.

  We’re not even really going out. It’s just a cover. And I’m not going after your brother.”

  “Oh yeah, I guess he’s going after you then? Is that it?”“Yeah, that is it, actually,” said Jake as he walked into the room. “You guys might want to keep it down. I could hear you coming down the hall.”

  We both stared at him for a moment before we reacted, Gilly glaring and me surprised, then we both reacted at once.

  “Jake, you don’t have to...” I started.

  “I hate you!” Gilly screamed.

  Now it was our turn to stare at Gilly, both of us in shock this time.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” she seethed. “You, Jake!

  You knew how much I liked Killian and you just stand there and calmly tell me that you went after him? And you, Killian Kendall! You think you can just play with my emotions, then throw me away when you find someone else?”

  “Gilly, it’s not like that and you know it,” I said angrily. “You said from the beginning that you understood that I didn’t and couldn’t have any feelings for you beyond friendship. You said that pretending to date me would be okay with you. You said that you just wanted to be friends, that this was something you could do for 217

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  me as a friend. If that’s not what you felt then you should have said so up front, and I never would have played this stupid game.”

  I watched her deflate right in front of me and I immediately regretted my angry words. Once again, I’d hurt someone I cared about because of my temper.

  “Oh, I didn’t realize that this was all just a game. I’m sorry, Killian. You’re right. I was stupid to think that you could love me. Why would anybody love me?” She started crying.

  “Gilly, I didn’t say that,” I said awkwardly.

  “You didn’t have to.”

  Jake shifted from foot to foot, obviously uncomfortable.

  “Look,” I said, “There’s a party going on out there that you guys are supposed to be hosting, so why don’t you go get your costumes on and let’s try to have fun

  —okay?”

  “Screw you,” Gilly said, and stormed off out the back door of the kitchen.

  “Sorry about that,” Jake said, “Welcome to our dysfunctional family. We may look like the Walton’s from the outside, but trust me; all is not well on the inside.

  Maybe I should have stayed out of it.”

  I shrugged, “Maybe, you never know though at the time. You did what you thought was best.”

  He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me for a brief hug.

  “I’ll go get my costume on and meet you on the dance floor,” he said as he backed out the way he’d come.

  “Which is where?” I asked him before he could get away.

  “Set up in the back yard. Just go out the back door...you’ll see.”

  I went back to the front hallway to look for Kane, Asher, and Marcus, but an obnoxious bunch of giggling 218

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  girls had replaced them. I decided to head out to the back yard to see if they were there.

  The music gradually got louder as I walked through the house, so that by the time I reached the back door it was almost deafening. When I opened the door it was like walking into a wall; an almost physical wave of vibration and sound washed over me.

  I stood in the doorway and gaped. A raised platform had been set up in the backyard and it filled the entire open space. Lights had been strung through the trees and dozens of spotlights were flashing different colored lights onto the dance floor. Dance music pumped out of huge speakers set up in strategic locations and people writhed, wiggled, bumped, and grinded everywhere.

  My, what one could do with a little money. I stepped out into the mass of bodies and started my futile search for someone I knew. I hadn’t really taken the time to see what Asher and Marcus were wearing, but vampires were everywhere. So were Scream masks and gh
ouls. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Zorro, who on closer inspection turned out to be Asher.

  “Great costume!” I yelled over the music. And it was.

  It was all black, with leather boots and mask and a long flowing cape. He wore tight black pants and a loose blousy black shirt that was open halfway down his chest.

  I wondered how I had missed it earlier. I decided that he couldn’t have been wearing the whole ensemble at the time.

  “Yours too,” he screamed back.

  “Gilly found it.”

  “I know, I heard you talking about it on the phone with Jake.”

  Time to change the subject, “Where’s Kane?”

  Asher pointed behind me and I turned around to search the crowd. It took me a minute, but finally I spot-ted him and Marcus talking to a group of girls dressed 219

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  as three fairies in three different color dresses. He was definitely straight, too, judging by the way he was ogling the shortest fairy’s generous cleavage. Marcus wasn’t wearing a costume.

  “Where’s Marcus’s costume?” I asked.

  “He didn’t want to wear one. I said that was dumb since it was a costume ball, but he told me to shut up so I did.”

  I felt another hand on my back. This time when I turned around I didn’t know who it was. Well, I knew it was Batman, but who was under the mask and skin-tight costume I couldn’t tell. It was obvious, however, that he was in very good shape and I couldn’t help but wonder if that was a codpiece in there...

  He motioned to me to follow him. I looked at Asher who just shrugged, some help he was.

  I decided to follow the caped crusader and see what happened. There were hundreds of people here; I couldn’t see how he could hurt me with so many people around, so I figured I was safe. He led away from the lights and crowds and into the shadows of some nearby trees. Once there, he reached up to remove the mask, but before he could, the music stopped. We both turned towards the DJ stage that was set up at one end of the dance floor.

  Standing in the spotlight, microphone in hand, was Gilly in a totally different costume than what she had shown me. She was dressed in an elaborate gown that looked like something out of the movie Elizabeth or maybe Shakespeare in Love. Her hair was piled up on top of her head and her cheeks were bright red. I couldn’t tell if it was from anger or if it was blush.

  “Hello, everyone,” she said into the microphone. “I hope everyone is having a good time so far.” An enormous roar greeted her, “Please remember that no drugs or alcohol are allowed at my parties and if you are 220

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  caught with either, you will be asked to leave.” Scat-tered boos met this statement. Gilly ignored them and plowed on. “Before we turn the music back on I have an important announcement to make.”

  I noticed someone moving quickly towards the stage, but I couldn’t quite tell who it was.

  “It’s time you all found out the truth about someone you all know,” Gilly went on. I felt as if someone had dumped cold water all over me. The person was pushing through even faster towards the stage now. I felt myself take a few steps forward myself...as if I could somehow stop her.

  “That person is...”

  Before she could finish the person who had been rushing toward her dived onto the stage with a spectacular belly flop, grabbed the microphone cord and yanked it out of her hand. They scrambled to their feet where it became obvious that it was a male in a pirate costume, although I still couldn’t see who or if I even knew him.

  The unknown male and Gilly then had a heated discussion, complete with angry hand gestures, which was picked up somewhat by the fallen microphone.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Gilly hissed.

  “What do you think you’re doing? You can’t do that.

  Not here,” the other person shot back. It was Jake’s voice.

  They both seemed to realize at the same time that they were being broadcast and quickly moved away from the center stage. Jake motioned for the music to start up again and soon everyone had gone back to dancing, forgetting the little drama that had just transpired before them. It wasn’t so easy for me.

  I turned back to Batman, but he was gone. I looked around, trying to find him but he was nowhere to be seen. I thought for a minute, my mind still on the whole 221

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  scene with Gilly, then dove back into the sea of flesh. I shoved and darted my way in the general direction I had come from hoping to catch a glimpse of Kane or Asher or anyone I knew for that matter.

  I was getting more and more frustrated as I searched the crowds to no avail. Then I saw something that totally took my breath away. In the middle of a circle of enthralled spectators, someone was dancing. Not just dancing like everyone else, but dancing with wild abandon, pure joy personified. I was drawn to the dancer, almost against my will. As I drew closer I could see it was a boy, someone I didn’t know. He was wearing a black body suit onto which were sewn brightly colored strips of material, every color of the rainbow, all different materials and textures. The effect was dizzying and mesmerizing. He was graceful and thin, his height hard to estimate since he was twirling and leaping about, but I guessed about 5’9", and 135 pounds. He was crowned with a full head of golden curls that almost seemed to flash in the lights.

  “Who is that?” I asked someone beside me.

  “I don’t know. I’ve never seen him before.”

  Someone else leaned towards me, “No one knows who he is,” she said, “I’ve been trying to find out for the last twenty minutes.”

  I stood and watched him. All thoughts of finding Kane and Asher were gone. He continued to dance as if no one was there, in a world of his own. And what a beautiful world it must have been, too. His face radiated peace and contentment. He wasn’t stunningly gorgeous, but he was simply beautiful. He made me happy just to watch him. I suddenly found myself crying and I didn’t know why. I wasn’t sad or hurt or angry. There were just suddenly tears rolling down my cheeks, one after the other.

  And suddenly he stopped. The music kept on, but 222

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  then I suspected he was dancing to his own music anyway, not the notes we heard. He stood there for a moment and then turned and walked right over to me and stood in front of me. I could now see his eyes. They were an odd shade that seemed to shift as he moved, now they were blue, now gray, now blue again. He reached out and softly brushed a tear from my cheek.

  “I’m Dashel. You can call me Dash,” he said softly.

  “I’m—”

  “Killian,” he interrupted, “I know who you are. I also know that you are hurting. I can feel it. Come on, walk over here so we can talk.”

  I looked over my shoulder, looking again for Kane or Asher.

  “Don’t worry about your friends. They went inside.

  They’re fine,” Dash said, then he led me back towards the trees where I’d been just a few minutes before.

  He looked around and then suddenly just dropped to the ground Indian style. I looked down at him in surprise. He just grinned up at me and patted the ground next to him. “Pull up some dirt,” he said cheekily.

  I sat down next to him, pulling the cloak tighter around me since it was getting a little chilly.

  “Why are you carrying so much pain around inside you?” he asked me. He didn’t beat around the bush.

  I thought about it for a minute before I answered.

  Was I carrying around pain? I didn’t think so. I thought I was doing pretty well, actually. I opened my mouth to tell him that, but what came out surprised me. “What else is there to do with it?” I asked.

  He smiled again, “Give it away.”

  I could see myself reflected in those amazing eyes; I could see the confusion on my face. “What? How do you give away pain? Who would want it?”

  “Most people wouldn’t want it. But I’m not talking about giving it away to just any person.”

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  “What?” Now I was really
confused.

  “There is only one who can take your pain and replace it with peace.”

  “Who?” Even I was taken aback by the desperation in my voice. Why? I hadn’t I been able to see the pain before, but now it seemed as if it would overwhelm me at any moment. All the hurt and fear from Seth’s murder and my attack, my dad’s rejection and beating, my mom moving away...everything just suddenly bubbled to the top. I hadn’t even realized how much I had been stuffing it away. Ignoring it and hoping it would just go away. Obviously it hadn’t. I gasped with the sudden surge of emotion.

  “The only one who can take away your pain is God.”

  I was quiet for a moment. “God?” I whispered quietly at last.

  He nodded solemnly. “Have you forgotten about Him? He hasn’t forgotten about you.” He broke into that infectious grin of his, then quickly became serious once again. “Dude, you have got to let go of all that stuff, it’s going to eat you up inside. How can you be happy when you are carrying around so much nega-tive stuff?”

  “I—I don’t know how to give it to Him.”

  “It’s easy. Like this...” He threw his head back, squeezed his eyes shut and just sat there. Slowly, a smile spread its way across his face. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and he looked at me again. “Now you try it.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I gave it to Him.”

  “Huh?”

  “First I feel Him. I always feel Him there all the time, a constant presence everywhere, but when I need Him I...call, kinda, with my need, reach out, and He’s there.

  And I feel His arms around me and I cry into them, and 224

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  picture all my problems coming out in my tears. They aren’t real tears, but...well...you get the idea.”

  “It’s that easy?”

  “Yup. Now you try it.”

  I looked around nervously.

  “No one’s watching you. Besides, who cares? Just let it go.”

  He was right. No one was paying any attention to us.

  It was like we were invisible. I looked at Dash for a few more seconds then took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Slowly I tipped my head back until my face was pointed towards the sky. I thought about all my pain, all the hurt and sadness. And I waited for God. At first I thought nothing was going to happen. Then I noticed a pinpoint of light appear above me. It began to grow, slowly at first, then faster and faster. Then, with a brilliant flash of pure white light that I could actually see through my closed eyelids, I felt myself enfolded in unseen arms. And I was crying, real tears along with my symbolic tears. And slowly, slowly, I felt it all drain away.