I wave a hand. “Yeah, I know, but I really should go.” Even though I have no idea what time it is, I add, “It’s late.”
He glances at the silver watch adorning his wrist. The one I’d found so damn sexy when he picked me up earlier. It does nothing to alleviate the arousal crashing around inside me. “It’s only ten.”
“Yeah, but I’m exhausted.” I feign a yawn but stop short of stretching my arms over my head. “It’s been a long week.”
As I back into the dining room area, Colton rises to his feet. “Do you want dessert before you leave?”
Hell, no.
I shake my head and pat my belly. “I’m still full.”
Disappointment flickers in his eyes. “Well, at least let me wrap it up, and you can take it home with you. Maybe have it for breakfast tomorrow morning.”
Argh.
He’s being entirely too nice. I almost can’t take all this sweetness.
“You really don’t—”
“It’s not a problem,” he interrupts. “Give me a couple of minutes to get it packed up.”
Colton disappears into the kitchen before I can decline the offer for a second time. Shifting restlessly, I wring my hands, only wanting to escape before the images rolling through my head have any chance of coming to fruition. A few minutes later, he returns with a transparent container filled with chicken parmesan and a small white box that I assume holds the dessert.
Relief floods through me as I nip my purse from the counter and hold out my hands for the boxes. “Thanks, you really didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to,” he murmurs before nodding toward the door. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.”
A chuckle bubbles up from my throat. “Don’t worry about it. I think it’s safe enough for me to walk forty feet.”
He cocks his head as his gaze searches mine. “Escorting you to your apartment has nothing to do with safety.”
And just like that, my belly hollows out, and my chest constricts. It takes everything I have inside not to melt into a puddle of goo. As tempting as it is to argue, I don’t bother. I know a losing battle when I see one. Instead, I scramble out of his apartment, striding down the hallway as fast as humanly possible. The quicker I get to my door, the sooner I can escape from him. No matter how swiftly I move, Colton is right there beside me. His long legs are no match for my shorter ones.
Even though I don’t want to be hyperaware of his presence, that’s exactly what I am. The warmth that emanates from him. His aftershave as it teases my senses with memories. It’s almost too much to bear. Any moment, I’ll come undone.
A puff of air breaks free as I find myself standing in front of my door. With a smile plastered across my face, I spin around and thrust out my hand, only wanting to say good night and get this over with. More like get away from the tangle of emotions he rouses inside me. Further inspection isn’t necessary to realize that they’re dangerous and counterproductive to everything I’ve been attempting to accomplish since my return to Wesley.
He steps closer, and the distance between us gets swallowed up. I tilt my head in order to maintain eye contact as his warm breath drifts over me. Why does it have to feel so intoxicating? It takes effort not to strain forward and inhale a big breath of him.
I clear my throat and glance away, attempting to break the tentative connection that has formed in the span of a few short hours. “Thanks again for dinner.”
My gaze jerks to him as his fingers slip beneath my chin. “I’m glad we could spend a little time together. It was nice.”
A shiver slides through me as I press my lips together, reluctant to agree. As much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. It was...enjoyable.
When I remain silent, he raises a brow in askance.
“Yes, it was,” I admit begrudgingly.
He tilts my chin higher. “Nice enough to do again?”
No way. Being with him is sweet torture, and there’s only so much I can take before I eventually break.
When my tongue darts out to moisten parched lips, an answering groan rumbles up from deep in his chest. Just when I expect him to lean in for a kiss, my fingers scramble behind my back, grabbing hold of the handle and twisting. When the door springs open, I realize that I didn’t lock it earlier and nearly fall inside the entryway. The motion is enough to break the spell he has effortlessly woven around me. I stumble back a step before he reaches out and grabs my shoulders.
Before he can detain me any longer with his voodoo magic, I snatch the containers from his other hand and take a hasty step in retreat, slamming the door in his face.
“Thanks for dinner,” I yell through the barrier that now separates us.
“Anytime,” he says in reply, humor dancing in his voice.
I don’t care if he’s laughing at my awkward attempts to keep him at bay. The only thing that matters is that I was successful. There’s a beat of silence as I tiptoe through the entryway and cautiously press my ear against the wood. It’s only when I hear his door from down the hall slam shut that I release a breath of relief before swinging around and collapsing against it. Curiosity gets the better of me as I stare at the small white dessert box before breaking down, opening the lid, and peering inside.
What I find has my throat closing up.
Chocolate-covered strawberries.
My favorite.
Damn him.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Alyssa
For what feels like the hundredth time, I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling in the darkness that fills the bedroom. Even though I glanced at the clock on the nightstand less than two minutes ago, my gaze flickers in that direction again. It’s after midnight. If it were simply a matter of closing my eyes and allowing my mind to wander until sleep took over, I’d already be happily snoring away. Instead, every time I close my eyes, an image of the hot, blond football player materializes in my mind. No matter how much I try, I can’t stop thinking about him.
I can’t deny that this Colton—the one who prepared dinner for me tonight—is different than the guy I dated a year and a half ago. It’s not that I don’t think people can grow and change. Of course they can. I’d like to think that I’ve matured somewhat over the years. But am I necessarily ready to take the risk only to wind up nursing a broken heart?
That’s a complicated question with an even more complicated answer. The unnerving part is that it shouldn’t be. After the way he treated me sophomore year, I should be immune to his charms. But Colton has always been my weakness. That, unfortunately, has not changed.
A month ago, when I was living in London, life had seemed so much simpler.
Now?
Now I’m a confused mess.
If I had any brains whatsoever, I’d stay as far away from Colton as humanly possible—and even that wouldn’t be enough distance. Ever since my return, he’s been carefully chipping away at my resistance, and I’m afraid that tonight might have truly weakened me.
Just as I flop over onto my side and squeeze my eyes tight, willing myself to find slumber, my phone chimes with an incoming message. Before glancing at the screen, I already know who it’s from. It’s like he can sense my vulnerable state even though we’re nowhere near each other.
Don’t do it!
Don’t you dare do it!
Ignore him.
I hold out for roughly ten seconds before rolling over and reaching for my phone.
I had a great time tonight. Hope you realize I won’t give up easily.
My breath escapes in a rush as I pour over the message half a dozen times.
His words scare the hell out of me. Deep down, I know they’re true. He won’t give up. Colton will continue to pursue me until I give in. As tempted as I am to do just that, I’m terrified he’ll only hurt me in the end.
The day he dumped me, it felt as if someone had reached into my chest, wrapped their hand around my beating heart, and ripped it free. There’s no way I can go through that again.
/> That boy had meant everything to me. More than I ever imagined possible. Until he threw it all away. Until he threw me away. The darkness that had fallen over me after our breakup had been all-encompassing. I’d had to fight my way free, and that had taken time and determination.
To allow Colton back into my life again simply because he says he’s changed has the potential to undermine all the painstaking progress I’ve made. I don’t understand what it is about him that draws me in almost against my own will. If I’m being truthful with myself, there’s always been something about him.
Instead of placing the phone on the nightstand where it belongs, I carefully type out a response.
I had a good time, too.
Instead of addressing the second part of the message, I ignore it.
As soon as I press send, another text from him pops up within seconds.
I meant everything I said, Lys.
I release the pent-up breath from my lungs as everything softens inside me. He knows the nickname pulls at my heartstrings, and he’s using it against me.
I need time.
Then that’s what I’ll give you.
I chew my lower lip and set the phone down before turning my back to it.
Another hour drags by, and I’m still wide awake. Even though I’m exhausted from a long week of classes, dancing, and teaching, I can’t turn off the thoughts that churn through my head. I’m unable to stop my body from craving the one guy who forced me to my limits.
I roll over and snatch up the phone. Even though I know it’s a mistake, I type out a message and hit send. My heart riots painfully under my breast as I wait for a response. One minute slowly stretches into two, and still, there’s no answer. For all I know, he fell asleep and won’t get it until the morning. A fresh wave of humiliation crashes over me. I should have held strong and not given in to temptation.
Ugh.
Irritated with myself, I drop the phone on the nightstand and roll over.
It’s the light knocking on the apartment door that has my eyes springing open. My heart leaps as I throw off the covers and roll from the bed, padding through the living room before arriving at the entryway. It’s only when I reach for the lock that I hesitate and consider the consequences of my actions.
Is this truly what I want?
To allow Colton in again?
Not just the apartment but my heart?
My life?
It takes effort to still the nerves that churn inside my belly. Maybe I’m uncertain if that’s the best course of action, but something is urging me to take a cautious step in that direction.
As I twist the lock and open the door, I’m hit with a punch of arousal. “Hi.”
The corners of his lips lift as he echoes the sentiment, “Hey.”
His blond hair is tousled, and I’m ridiculously tempted to plow my fingers through the thick strands that are cut longer on top and shaved on the sides. A Wesley Wildcats T-shirt stretches across his chest as black athletic shorts hang loosely from lean hips.
When I remain silent, too busy eating him up with my eyes, he asks, “Can I come in?”
I blink out of those thoughts as a punch of heat hits my cheeks. The most I can hope for is that it’s too dark inside the apartment for him to witness the effect he has on me. The last thing I want to do is stroke his already inflated ego or give him any more confidence.
Especially where I’m concerned.
In silence, I step aside, allowing him entrance. As he brushes against me, the familiar woodsy scent from earlier this evening wafts around me, cocooning me in the past. In the memories I still hold dear. All I want to do is close my eyes and inhale a big breath of him.
Instead, I lock the apartment door.
If Mia were here, there’s no way I would be doing this. My bestie cautioned me about getting together with him the first time. She was afraid that he would hurt me and sadly, she wasn’t mistaken.
A groan bubbles up in my throat as I reevaluate the merits of my decision. Let’s face it, choices made after midnight are generally questionable by nature. Maybe I haven’t been drinking, but this falls neatly into that category.
I’ve been hesitant to tell Mia what’s been going on with Colton. Mostly because I’ve been too busy denying that I still have feelings for him. If I utter the words out loud, that will make them real. Even now, as he stands inside my apartment at one o’clock in the morning, I’m unsure if I’m ready to take that giant leap.
Whether he realizes it or not, this is the guy who changed everything for me. My life can be broken up into two segments—a before Colton and after Colton. I’m more cautious than I once was. What this guy taught me is that I’m not as bulletproof as I once suspected.
And yet, that’s still not enough to stop me from grabbing his hand when he hesitates in the dining room. A sizzle of awareness shoots through me at the innocuous contact. The energy we always seem to generate is part of the attraction. I’m like a moth to a flickering flame that will ultimately lead to its demise. That knowledge isn’t nearly enough to stop the onslaught of emotions from hurtling to the surface.
Once inside my room, I release his hand, allowing mine to fall back to my side.
He grabs the hem of his shirt and drags it partway up his abdomen before pausing. “Is it okay if I take off my shirt and shorts?”
My mouth dries as I jerk my head into a tight nod.
He yanks the soft cottony material over his head before dropping it carelessly to the floor. The shorts get removed next. Once they are added to the small pile, he stands in front of me wearing nothing more than form-fitting boxers. Even in the shadowy darkness of the room, I’m able to make out the hard ridges and contours of his muscular body.
Unable to help myself, I stand rooted in place, simply drinking him in. Football and a rigorous weightlifting regimen have molded his physique into a thing of beauty. Instead of being bulky like a lineman, he’s long and lean. His body was built for quickness and speed.
As I shake myself out of those thoughts, I realize that he’s studying me with an equal amount of intensity. My muscles tense as air gets trapped in my lungs, making it impossible to breathe.
His gaze is like a physical caress, and my body reacts accordingly. When my nipples tighten, poking through the thin fabric of my tank top, I lift my arms self-consciously to cover them. Before I can fully wrap them around my chest, Colton reaches out, halting the movement. “Don’t. I want to look at you.” There’s a pause as his voice turns rough, sounding as if it’s been scraped from the bottom of the ocean. “I’ve missed this so much.”
Hesitantly, I lower my arms and straighten to my full height, allowing him to look his fill. I’ve never been embarrassed of my body. I’ve spent my entire life in a leotard. I’m used to scathing remarks from teachers. I’ve become almost deaf to the criticism.
But this...
I want Colton to like what he sees. The appreciative gleam filling his eyes tells me that he does.
This time, when he extends his hand, it never occurs to me not to take hold of it. With one tug, he pulls me toward the bed. He climbs in first before turning on his side. Once he’s settled, I crawl in next to him until our bodies are perfectly aligned. His bigger one curling protectively around my smaller one. His arm bands around me, locking me in place. For the first time in what feels like forever, contentment suffuses every fiber of my being.
Now that Colton is holding me in his arms, I realize this is the reason I couldn’t fall asleep. I needed him here with me. Even though I’ve spent all this time fighting against him, trying to break free of the hold he has on me, it turns out that I’ve been battling myself as well. It’s a relief to drop the pretense.
At least for the night.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Colton
Harsh sunlight filters through my eyelids, and I wake with a satisfied stretch. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this well-rested. Like I slept for twenty-four hours straight. As soon as I sh
ift, I realize that I’m not alone. There’s a warm body snuggled up against me.
It takes a moment for my sluggish brain to sift through the events from last night.
Alyssa.
Dinner at my place.
Unable to sleep and shooting her a text.
I crack open an eye only to find her sprawled across my bare chest. There is nothing better than waking up with this girl in my arms. Even though my feelings for her scared the shit out of me, I regret pushing her away sophomore year. I have no idea if it’s possible to get back to a place where she can trust me again, but I’m determined to do everything in my power to make it happen and prove to Alyssa that I can be the man she needs.
All I know is that I’ve got to slow my roll and not come on too strong. If I push too hard, she’ll bolt. And I can’t blame her for that. She handed over her heart for safekeeping, and I stomped it to smithereens.
A strange contentment fills me as I watch her sleep. Even though I want this moment to last forever, I know it won’t. As soon as she wakes, the protective armor she cloaks herself in will fall back into place, and she’ll continue to hold me at arm’s length.
Unable to resist touching her, I stroke my fingers over her golden head. Alyssa has beautiful long hair. I love having it swathed across my body. I love wrapping the thick length around my fist and tugging it. I told myself when we were together that it was pure and simple fucking. She’d always been up for anything. Whatever I wanted to do. However I wanted to use her body, she let me do it. She was always willing to push the limits.
But the last time we had sex was different. No longer could I pretend that it was mindless screwing. Her feelings freaked me out, and I pushed her away. I made damn sure to blow up our relationship. Not once did it occur to me that moving on from her would be impossible.
A soft sound escapes from Alyssa as she shifts against me. My fingers still. I’m nowhere near ready for this interlude to be over. For a few more minutes, she drifts in and out of sleep before cracking open an eye and turning her head until our gazes can collide. It takes a moment for her to blink away the sleepiness.
The Boy Next Door Page 16
