My muscles lock, waiting to see how this scenario will play out.
“Morning,” she finally says.
Sometime during the night, her top was shed, leaving her as bare-chested as I am.
I clear my throat along with the thick emotion trapped inside it. “Did you sleep good?”
“Yeah, actually I did.”
Ever since I was a freshman in college, I’ve made it a rule never to spend the night with a chick. Fucking is one thing. Sleeping with someone and having an awkward convo the morning after is quite another.
Alyssa has always been the exception to that rule. She’s the only girl I’ve held in my arms for hours at a time. The only one I’ve woken up with in the morning. I have no idea if it’s the same for her. I’ve done my best to blot out the nineteen months we spent apart. As much as I want to ask, I’m unable to summon the words. I have no right to delve into her past when I’m the one who forced her away.
“Me, too.” Even though I’m afraid to push my luck, the question escapes before I can rein it in. “What are your plans for the day?”
More of her drowsiness falls away as she watches me cautiously. “Homework. Maybe a little grocery shopping in the afternoon.”
As we stare at each other, it feels like I’m standing on the edge of a precipice. One careless misstep and I could plummet to my death. The fear of being rejected is terrifying, but I don’t allow that to stop me. “Maybe we could spend it together?”
Indecision flickers in her eyes as she gnaws her lower lip and glances away. “I don’t know. Is that necessarily a good idea?”
My hands go to her cheeks, forcing her to meet my stare. “I told you that I’m not going to give up on you. Or us. We can take this as slow as you need. Just give me time to prove I’m not the same guy. That’s all I’m asking.”
My heart jackhammers almost painfully as a heavy silence stretches between us. I’ve done everything I can think of to change her mind. And maybe...maybe it won’t be enough. “Lys?”
She draws in a breath before whispering, “Okay.”
Relief rushes through me, leaving me to feel almost giddy. Before I can think better of it, I give in to the impulse rushing through me and lock my fingers around her wrists before flipping her over onto the mattress. A squeak of surprise escapes from her as I drag her arms above her head and pin them to the headboard.
I’m all about taking this slow, but I also want to feed the need she has. And I know exactly what Alyssa craves because it lives deep inside me as well.
“Colton...” A fine tremble works its way through her voice as she shifts restlessly beneath me.
“Yeah, baby?” My lips ghost over hers, never giving in to the baser urges clawing beneath the surface of my flesh. More than anything, I want to rip her panties away and bury myself deep inside her tight heat.
But I refuse to do that. The next time we have sex, there won’t be any question as to who she belongs to.
“You said we could take this slow,” she whispers.
I press my mouth to hers. “And so we will.”
With that, I release her wrists and pull away just enough to stare down at her. She’s so fucking beautiful with her wheat-colored hair spread out across the snowy white pillowcase. Her blue eyes are wide and watchful as a deep flush stains her cheeks. A thin scrap of material is all that bars me from her. My cock stiffens as a punch of arousal hits me full force. The urge to plunder her sweetness roars through me. It takes every ounce of restraint to beat back the need I have for her.
Even though I’m no longer holding her captive, her arms remain above her head as she shifts beneath my gaze. Her breasts are high and tight with little pink nipples that beg to be played with. When the temptation becomes too much to withstand, I lean over and capture one perfect bud. A whimper slips free from her as I suck it greedily into my mouth. After a few moments of torture, I allow the hard tip to pop free before drawing its twin between my lips.
Her fingers thread their way through my hair as if to hold me in place. I’ve missed her gentle touch something fierce. It only makes my dick harder. Any moment, I’m going to explode in my boxers, which hasn’t happened since...well, never. It’s yet another indicator as to how this girl affects me. The truth of the matter is that she always has. Only now am I coming to terms with it.
Alyssa shifts impatiently, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I stripped her bare and mounted her, she wouldn’t stop me. No, she’d probably beg for it.
But then I’d be breaking my promise to take this at a gradual pace, and I refuse to do that.
If I’ve learned anything over the past couple of weeks, it’s that Alyssa will go into avoidance mode in the blink of an eye. She attempted to pull a disappearing act after both times we were together. So, I’m not about to give her a reason to turn tail and run from me for a third time. I need to remember that slow and steady wins the race—especially when it comes to this girl.
It’s with a shit-ton of regret that I allow her nipple to pop free from my mouth. Both breasts are rosy from all the attention. Unable to help myself, I pluck the tiny buds between my fingers, continuing to toy with them. Her eyelids feather close as she arches her back as if silently offering them up to me.
“I love your breasts.” I pluck at the stiff little nipples, pulling and tweaking them in tandem. It’s pleasure infused pain at its finest. What I love most is that this turns her on just as much as it does me. With one last playful tug, I release them.
If I don’t shift gears now, it’ll be too late, and I’ll end up spreading her thighs and doing exactly what I know we shouldn’t. “How about I run out and grab us some coffee?”
Alyssa blinks a few times as if that’s the last thing she expected me to say. “Coffee?” Her lips wrap around the word as if it’s foreign. “Now?”
“Yup.” I roll from the bed and stretch.
Her gaze roves over my body before settling at my groin. I glance down to see what has captured her interest and realize that I’m sporting a massive boner. Since there’s no shame in my game, I let her look her fill. Propped up on her elbows, she makes a pretty picture lying there all naked and flushed.
I really need to get out of here before I dive headfirst back into bed. I grab my athletic shorts and yank them up my thighs before tugging on my T-shirt. Now that I’m dressed, the situation feels less explosive. It’s like I’ve got a protective shield in place.
Once I’ve got my slides on, I retreat from the room. “Is a mocha frappe still your preferred drug of choice?”
Her lips tremble at the corners as she relaxes against the mattress. “Yeah, it is.”
There’s a sliver of comfort in the knowledge that while some things are completely different, others stayed the same.
“Okay. I’ll be back in fifteen.”
With that, I disappear from the bedroom and out of her apartment. I make a quick pitstop at my place and grab my wallet before heading to my BMW parked in the lot. As I slide behind the wheel and shove the keys into the ignition, the vehicle purrs to life. That’s three hundred and thirty-five horses waiting to break free under the hood. I rev the engine before pulling out and heading up the street about half a mile before swinging around the corner. There’s a little coffee shop off the beaten path where the locals stop for java. I have no idea if Alyssa has frequented the place, but I know her penchant for coffee, and I’m pretty sure she’ll enjoy it.
At this time on a Sunday morning, the shop is fairly quiet, and I’m in and out in a matter of minutes. All I want to do is get back to Alyssa so we can spend the day together. I don’t give a crap what we do. I just want to be with her. I want our relationship to feel like it did before I blew everything to shit, even if it’s just for a few fleeting moments.
As I park the convertible in the apartment building lot, I grab our containers of coffee along with the fresh-baked almond scone I picked up for Alyssa and head inside the lobby before beelining for the elevator. Normally, I wou
ld take the stairwell, but my hands are full. Using my elbow, I hit the button and wait for the car to arrive. Once it does, I hop onto the platform. I almost shake my head when I find myself whistling a little tune.
Whistling, for fuck’s sake.
I can’t remember the last time I did that. Or felt this happy. And it has everything to do with Alyssa.
“Hold the lift!” someone yells just as the doors slide shut.
Without thinking, I wedge my foot between them. The metal bounces off my shoe before sliding open. A dark-haired guy with a suitcase jumps onboard. He’s slightly winded as if he’s just run a mile. Although that’s doubtful since he’s wearing pressed khakis and a crisp, light blue-colored button-down shirt.
“Thanks, mate!”
Hmmm. Interesting.
British accent, if I’m not mistaken.
“No problem. Seems like you’re in a hurry,” I say, making idle conversation.
Once inside, he glances at the control panel but doesn’t press another button, which probably means he’s getting off on the third floor. I’ve lived here since July and haven’t seen this guy around before.
He cracks a smile. “I’ve just come straight from the airport.” Before I can ask, he offers, “I’m here to visit a friend.”
A prickle of unease blooms in the pit of my gut as I study him more carefully.
“Oh?” I try to keep my tone nonchalant. More than likely, there’s nothing for me to worry about. “Your friend lives on the third floor?”
“Yes.” Once the doors slide open, he glances at the drinks in my hands before placing a palm across the metal threshold. “After you.”
“Thanks.” I roll my shoulders, trying to shake off the thick tension that has gathered between them before stepping into the carpeted hallway. The air gets clogged in my throat as I give him a bit of side-eye, waiting to see which direction he’ll head in. If he turns to the right, then I don’t have—
Fuck.
Not only is he walking in the same direction I am, but he’s pulled up along-side me. With every step that brings us closer to Alyssa’s apartment, my apprehension ratchets up until I’m practically vibrating with it. While I asked Alyssa questions about her time in London, I painstakingly avoided the topic of people she might have dated. Like I wanted to know all the gory details?
Hard pass.
The British dude glances at the silver numbers alongside each apartment door. Just when I think he’ll walk by her place, he stops and checks the address. “Looks like this is it.” He flashes me another smile. “Cheers, mate!”
My footsteps falter as he raps his knuckles against the wood and waits. Within seconds, the door swings open, and Alyssa stands on the other side of the threshold. Thank fuck she’s wearing more clothing than when I walked out twenty minutes ago. She’s pulled on a white T-shirt and red shorts that are so teeny tiny, they do absolutely nothing to cover her long, lean legs. A growl of jealousy rumbles up from deep within my chest.
Alyssa freezes as her eyes widen and her jaw drops open. It takes a moment for her to blink out of the stupor she’s fallen into. “Jack?”
Jack?
Why the hell does that name sound so familiar?
Wait a minute. Is this the dude who was texting her?
“Surprise! I was in Chicago for an interview and decided to make a slight detour.” He releases the suitcase handle and opens his arms wide.
Every instinct is screaming at me to rip her away from him. Possessiveness bubbles up in my throat until it feels like I might choke on it. My hands tighten around the containers of coffee as she steps into his embrace. I lurch forward before grinding to a halt.
There was a time when Alyssa belonged solely to me, but that’s no longer the case.
Her gaze fastens on to mine as he presses his lips against her cheek.
All I know is that I can’t continue standing here, watching their happy little reunion without ripping him to shreds with my bare hands. Even though it goes against every instinct, I swing away and force my body into motion. It takes effort to put one foot in front of the other and walk away from the only girl I’ve ever cared about. As I slip the key into the lock and turn the handle, I steal a reluctant glance down the hallway only to find it empty.
I can’t help but feel that I allowed her to slip through my fingers for a second time.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Alyssa
My mind continues to somersault as I press my hands to my mouth and stare at Jack. He’s settled on the couch across from me. “I still can’t believe you’re really here,” I whisper for what feels like the hundredth time. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were planning to visit?”
His smile grows wider until his dark eyes crinkle at the corners. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”
Laughter bubbles up in my throat. “Mission accomplished.” I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around this new turn of events. When I’d opened the apartment door, I had fully expected to find Colton waiting on the other side.
Instead, I’d found Jack.
And Colton.
My belly twists as I recall the hurt etched across the blond football player’s face. All I could do was stare at Jack in shock. At some point, I’ll have to deal with the Colton situation.
It takes effort to shake off those thoughts and focus on the guy in front of me. Even though it’s only been a couple of weeks since I left him behind at Heathrow Airport, it feels like forever. Now that he’s here, I realize how much I’ve missed our friendship. Facetime and texting are not the same as being in the same room and spending time together.
“How long are you in town for?” I’m hoping that it’s at least a few days. Maybe even a week. I’m sure Mia wouldn’t mind having an unexpected guest crash on the couch. They met in London when she visited over Christmas break and struck up an instant friendship.
The wattage of his smile dims. “Twenty-four hours.”
“What?” My heart sinks. “That’s it?”
“I’m afraid so, love.” He shrugs. “I need to return by Tuesday. Even though it’s a quick turnaround, I couldn’t fly to the States without visiting you.”
“I’m glad you did. I’ve missed you so much.” As thrilled as I am to see Jack, I’m already filled with sadness that this will be such a brief trip. It’ll be over before I know it.
“I’ve missed you, too. Perhaps I can convince you to return to London for a holiday.”
Even though I left behind quite a few friends, I haven’t given any consideration to visiting so soon. Sometimes it feels like I’m still trying to acclimate to life at Wesley. Not to mention, I’ll be graduating this spring. I need to get my act together and figure out a plan for the future.
And then there’s Colton. At every turn, he’s there, pushing me, refusing to back off. He’s gradually taken over more and more of my headspace.
Jack must see the flicker of emotion as it crosses my face. He gives me a considering look before asking lightly, “The lad from the hall, is he a friend?”
And there it is.
The dreaded question.
Heat suffuses my cheeks.
Jack knows all about Colton. The good, the bad, and the heartbreaking. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been quite so truthful with him, but it had been important to work through all the crap in my head, and Jack had been a willing listener. Plus, I’d wanted him to understand that I couldn’t move forward with a new relationship when I was hung up on a different one.
I blow out a steady breath, unsure where to begin.
His voice softens as he searches my eyes. “Come on then, is it really that bad?”
Ha! He doesn’t have a clue. But that’s only because I’ve been reluctant to divulge the details since I’ve returned to Wesley. I know Jack is holding out hope that with enough time, there will come a point when I’m ready to move on. And when that happens, it’ll be with him.
“Friend might be overstating our relationship,” I say lightly.
“That was Colton.”
His brows arch. “Ahhh.”
That one-word response says it all.
I snort. “Exactly.”
He shifts on the couch as understanding floods his features. “Do you want to talk about it?”
My heart constricts almost painfully as I jerk my shoulders. Of course, that would be Jack’s response. There is no sign of anger, jealousy, or even disappointment.
Only concern. It makes me feel even worse about the situation. Why couldn’t I have fallen head over heels for this guy?
He really is perfect. Kind and considerate. I’ve never had to guess where I stood with him. He let me know from the very beginning.
“No matter what happens,” he says softly, “I’ll always be here for you.”
It takes effort to blink the wetness from my eyes. Before I realize it, I’m flying out of the chair and hurtling myself at him. As soon as I land against Jack’s chest, he wraps his arms around me and holds me close. I squeeze my eyes tight as the citrusy scent of his aftershave soothes my senses.
When he presses his lips against my hair, I lift my face until our gazes can lock. One hand rises, the blunt tips of his fingers settling under my chin before tilting it upward until our mouths are able to align. The caress is a light sweep, but it’s more than enough.
Enough to know that he will never stir the kind of emotion that Colton does. Jack is a safe port in a storm, but he’s not the man I long for. He doesn’t send my pulse skittering or put my body into overdrive.
He is steady and calm. And I’m probably the biggest idiot in the world for not giving him a real chance and exploring the possibilities.
But I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to Jack. He deserves a woman who is head over heels in love with him, and that’s not me.
How can it be when I already feel that way about someone else?
The Boy Next Door Page 17
