The Sage After Rain A love story

by Hawkes, Jaclyn

  "I'm fine. Just tired. Matt's fever has been hellacious. I don't think it came down below like a hundred and two or three for most of four days. Trying to watch the sheep and give him medicine every two hours and fit in a little sleep was a trick. But at least I know you'll always be honest with me." She laughed at him again.

  "If I was honest, I'd tell you that I think you shouldn't be living here with him like this. You don't even know him, and now look. You've spent nearly a week of your life caring for some guy who has a work project near you."

  "Yes and you know what, Zan? If you had been here, you'd have done the same thing. I know you, Zan. You're too Christian to let someone suffer when you know you could be helping them when they need it, so quit lecturing. And thank you for coming when we needed you. I know he isn't necessarily your favorite guy, but you came anyway. I'm sure the Savior was proud of you."

  "Now you're making me feel guilty for not liking him when I don't even know him."

  "It isn't like you, but I knew it was coming anyway."

  He looked at her with eyes so dark it was hard to read them and said, "Only because you know I'm in love with you and don't want to share."

  "Alexander Bear! Don't even pull that on me! You and I both know you're not truly in love with me, so don't joke like that. It isn't very funny."

  "I'm not joking, Taya, even though I long ago gave up any hope of you ever falling in love with me back. But that still doesn't mean I like sharing. Especially not with a non-member. Have you stopped to consider that he doesn't hold the priesthood? You could never ask him for a blessing when you needed it."

  "Zan, he's my neighbor and has become a very good friend, but that's all. And priesthood or no, he's a great human being. He's helped me a lot out here when he didn't need to. I was honest with him the other day about the mess I'm in and said I'd understand if he wanted to move further away from me, and he didn't even blink. I know he's not a member, but God loves him anyway. He's been going to church with me for weeks now, and somehow or another, it's all going to be okay. I've felt that from the start, so calm down. You do have to share me with him, but I'm not in love with him either. At any rate, be happy for me that he's here and watches over me. Can't you?"

  "Yeah, I can, Taya. But I don't think you know your own mind. You're different about him than about anyone else since I've known you. You're not a very trusting person anymore, but you trusted him to move almost right in with you from the start. And when you talk about him or to him, your voice is different than I've ever heard it. You'd better step back and really look at yourself, or your going to end up married to a non-member yet, and you don't have much track record there. You learned the hard way about John. Don't put yourself back into that same situation with this guy."

  She turned in the swing to look at him and couldn't help the smile, and it made him start in again. "Don't look at me like that, Taya. I know what I'm talking about. I've known you for a long time. You never felt as strongly about John as you do about Matt, even though you were engaged. Somehow, he's gotten you to trust him in a way that doesn't seem wise. How do you know you're even safe here with him when you've only known him this long?"

  "I don't know, Zan. He's been here for over a month now, but I knew I could trust him within minutes of meeting him. Don't ask me how, but I was right. He's always treated me well and has even come to my rescue when he didn't truly want to a couple of times. If you had met him under any other circumstances, you would really like him, so lighten up."

  "All right, but don't you marry a non-member. You need the blessing of having a man as strong as you are in your life. Don't settle."

  "Okay, I won't settle. I promise. Can we talk about something else? How is your work going?"

  "Fine. As fine as being employed by a bunch of bureaucrats can be. Sometimes I think the Navajo Nation has as much red tape as the U.S. government."

  "Listen to the whining going on here this afternoon! My, oh, my, we're negative! Hey, and I've tried to talk you into being self employed about a million times. So don't complain to me about someone's red tape. You could be calling all the shots yourself."

  "I'm beginning to think you're actually right about that one. I'm sorry I'm so negative. I'll do better. I think it's just that I'm jealous of your neighbor that has me in a bad mood."

  "That's silly, there's nothing to be jealous of, and don't be in a bad mood. You're too happy a guy for that kind of thing. Let me enjoy the little time I get to see you without being an old grump. How old are you now anyway. Twenty-six? Twenty-seven? How come you're giving me flack about marrying the wrong guy and you're not even so much as full out shopping when you're an old guy? You gotta get out there and find your princess charming."

  "I'm only twenty-six, thanks."

  "That's way, way older than my youthful twenty-four by the way. What happened to that beautiful girl you were so serious with at BYU when I got here? She was adorable."

  "Let's don't talk about this either. The reason I came is to tell you John’s case was finally thrown out on a technicality. You never asked, but you probably ought to know. You’re still as much at risk as ever.”

  She looked up at him quietly, but didn’t comment, and he asked, “How is the hand these days?"

  "Uh, let's don't.” She changed the subject. “How am I doing as far as the sheep and feed for the rest of the season? Am I doing okay?"

  "The feed's fine. Why can't I ask you about your hand?"

  "It depresses the heck out of me to even think about it. I may just wear the brace forever; it's so ugly and weird shaped now. What do you think I should do when I'm done here at the end of next month? I'm starting to worry about what my plan is next."

  He reached over and took off the brace and looked at her hand. "It's not ugly and weird shaped. Once you get used to using it all the way again it will loosen up. Give it time. It was pretty hammered."

  He paused and then said, "That's right. You don't even know where you're going to go, do you? There's life after sheep, I promise."

  He didn’t mention the witness protection program and she chose not to either as she continued to half joke, "I told Matt maybe South America. Or maybe a cruise ship or some island in the Caribbean for the winter. What do you think?"

  "Oh, come off it, Taya. You're not going to South America or the Crib. You're going to stay here where we can know you're safe and well cared for. Just get a house in some little town where John wouldn't expect you to go, and ski all winter. You can engineer at night and actually go to the same ward several weeks in a row. It'll be whole new religious experience to have your bishop know who you are. By then, maybe this whole trial thing will be over and so will the election. You'll be safe and you can settle down and marry a rich tourist. An LDS one."

  "Nah. No tourists. They have those stupid, flowered shirts. They’re so tacky at weddings. If I stay, will you ski with me sometimes?"

  "You're just trying to make sure my heart stays shredded indefinitely, aren't you? Sure, I'll ski with you. Heck, maybe I'll quit my job and we'll both be ski bums."

  She laughed and nudged him. "You could never pass yourself off as a ski bum. Your fancy watch would give you away. Plus you love your job for all your whining, and you know the Navajo Nation needs all the sharp, sober help they can get. No offense."

  "You're a smart Alec. But it's very entertaining. I gotta get going. Is there anything else you need from me right now?"

  "Just for you to come by occasionally and tell me I look awful. It keeps me humble and makes me laugh. Tell your family I love them. And would you hurry and find a wife, so you'll quit hassling me?"

  "Sure, I'll get right on that." He got up to go. "Take care, Taya. Call if you need something."

  "You're my number one speed dial. Thanks, Zan. See ya."

  Chapter 17

  Matt dragged himself off her swing and back to his tent after a shower. He found that not only had she moved all of his gear, but she had done his wash as well. When Zan drove u
p a couple of hours later, Matt was glad he wasn't still a zombie on her swing. He wasn't up to a battle of wills with Zan right now.

  Getting out his lap top, he tried to figure out where he was in his data processing. The last night's numbers he had, had never been run. He couldn't remember much about that evening, he'd just known that making it home that day had taken everything he had. He couldn't ever remember being this sick before in his life.

  His mind traveled back over the last while with her. Taya had unselfishly cared for him non-stop for days. He couldn't remember much except bits and pieces and the fact that she had always been there, always helping, always gentle and patient, even when she had to have been dead tired. He'd been just awake enough to understand that she kissed him as she went back to bed last night, and it had done something warm to his heart.

  He could hear her over there talking quietly with Zan. From time to time he could hear what they were saying even when he was trying to focus on his work. Taya had told Zan that she knew he wasn't really in love with her, but even Matt knew that wasn't true. One look at him was all it took. At least the guy wasn't insisting she try to care for him back. That was decent of him.

  Zan obviously didn't want Matt with her, but she wasn't letting him push her around a bit about it, which was good because Matt would have stepped in and said something that Zan probably wouldn't like much. Matt could understand that Zan didn't want to share, because he didn't either. Only the fact that she obviously liked Zan, and that he was apparently good to watch over her made Matt feel somewhat better about having him over there on her swing. He'd come in the last few weeks to feel some ownership here that he probably shouldn't.

  He didn't know how to feel when he heard her say he was just a neighbor and a friend. It was true at any rate, but he'd never felt the way he felt about her toward any other neighbor.

  Then he truly didn't know how to feel when Zan had insinuated that Matt meant more to Taya than her fiancé' had. He had come here simply to expedite his project, although if he was honest he probably would never have come clear out here if she hadn't fascinated him so from the very first. Their friendship had come easy from the get go, even though, honestly, most days and nights they had little or nothing to do with each other. The way she had cared for him the last few days had taken that friendship to a whole new level. Something had happened there in the dead of nights when she had served him so diligently. She had earned a place in his emotions that no one had ever owned before. It was almost a little frightening that she had come to mean as much to him as she did, as fast as she had.

  He'd also heard Zan's argument about him being a non-member of her church. Once again, Matt had to agree that Zan did have a point. Had Taya been his daughter, he would have wanted her to have a husband who was strong enough in her own faith that she could lean on him spiritually when she needed to. Zan coming to give him that blessing had been incredibly thought provoking.

  Matt wasn't sure yet what he thought about her church, but he certainly knew that if he ever got to the point where he believed it was Christ's own church the way Taya did, that he wanted to be the one she called when she needed that kind of help. He'd been too hammered to feel anything but grateful for the help Zan had rendered even to someone he didn't want here. Much as he didn't want to, he had to respect Zan.

  When it was all said and done, Matt was relieved when Zan finally got up and climbed into his shiny truck and left. Not only did Matt not want to share, but he felt like heck and wanted to go back over to her swing and go back to sleep. He wondered where Taya had gone off to when he did just exactly that.

  Long after dark, he felt her cool hand on his brow again and rolled over to take the medicine she was offering him. She was a saint, she truly was. A saint who smelled like some kind of berries and the stream after dark. He went back to sleep with the feel of her putting a cool cloth on his head and neck, and wishing she'd give him that gentle kiss again. It had been really nice.

  Finally, the next morning, he woke up feeling like he could face the world again. He rolled off her swing in the half light of pre-dawn and went back to his tent to get ready to go to work. He actually cooked a substantial breakfast because he was ravenous. He made some for Taya too and left it on her little table under another plate. He'd have to find a way to make things up to her.

  He touched base with Mac in the chopper and then was gratified to see the two young men who had been helping him show up right on time. Hopefully, the last few days hadn't set him too far back on his contract.

  When the helpers showed him what they had accomplished in his absence, he was thrilled. They had made a couple of small mistakes, but for the most part, they were working out fabulously. He wished he had about four more just like them.

  With that thought, he checked his phone messages as they hiked over the desert and was surprised that there were so many. Stacy hadn't given up, even when he had been so blunt with her. There were another eleven messages from her since the day he had dumped her off at the motel. His mom had called to check on him a couple of times and there were four calls from people responding to his ad.

  While he walked along, he deleted the ones from Stacy, called his mom to talk for a few minutes and then made appointments to meet with the potential employees the next day in town. When he told his mom how sick he'd been, she had been worried. When he told her a neighbor girl had taken care of him, she hadn't sounded sure whether she should be relieved or even more worried. He laughed as he hung up, knowing he was just about due for a visit from his mother. It would be just like her to show up here to check on him, now that she knew there was another female on the horizon.

  It was an incredible relief to know his mother would wholeheartedly approve of the girl this time. He had no doubts that she would adore Taya. She was good and kind and sweet and beautiful. All it would take to sway his mother was to tell her that Taya had been dragging him to church with her every week. He wondered for a time what his mother would think of the fact that he'd been attending a Mormon church, and then decided he couldn't worry about that. He'd figured out that this had to be between him and his Father in Heaven, and though he respected his mother's and Taya's judgment, this one had to be all up to him in the end.

  They got a lot done that day, but he was still ridiculously tired by the time he got back to camp that night. He was still running a fever, and though his temperature was high, he felt chilled to the bone and put sweats and a sweatshirt on to wear to bed.

  He was just about to crawl into his tent when Taya appeared in his camp with a plate of dinner for him. "I know this is going to sound silly, but come sleep in my swing again so I can check on you for one more night. I'll worry about you all night over here and I know I'd wake you up trying to climb in there again to feel your forehead."

  He chuckled as he took the plate and followed her back to her trailer. "Okay, Mother. But really, I'm fine. Just slightly out of shape from the last few days. Today took it out of me. Thanks for dinner, by the way."

  "You're welcome. Think of it as my contribution to the success of your project. How is it going as far as your deadline?"

  "Barring anymore unforeseens, I'm gonna be fine. I have appointments to meet with more potential helpers tomorrow. It's going to be a long, long month and a half, but it will be well worth it."

  "Have you heard anymore from your old boss at all?"

  "Not a peep. I keep hoping he's sobered up and gone home to his wife, but I honestly doubt that."

  Taya was disgusted. "He has a wife? Oh, that poor woman. How would you ever put up with something like that?"

  Matt shook his head. "Not for long, I can tell you that. If she has half a brain, she'll send him packing before she ends up with AIDS or something."

  "Not to mention the fact that he's spending her grocery money on beer and scummy women."

  "But then if she had half a brain, she wouldn't have married him in the first place."

  At this Taya got introspective. "Alth
ough, maybe she was like me. Maybe she just didn't know what all she was getting into until it was too late. Women can be incredibly foolish sometimes."

  He put a hand on her shoulder. "I don't think that is necessarily reserved just for women, Taya. Men have their share of being brain dead. It's probably even worse with men because our thinking gets clouded by things like bathing suits."

  As they neared her trailer she laughed. "At least you're honest. Night, Matt. I'll check on you late."

  It was actually earlier than she thought it would be. The dogs went off about eleven-forty and then she heard coyotes and headed out with her thirty thirty. Here in the creek bottom there were a million places for a coyote to hide. As she went out the door, she touched him gently on the forehead and was relieved to find it wasn't any hotter than it should have been.

  It was a dark night and she was having trouble seeing in the deep shadows under the trees and knew she'd lost a sheep before she ever caught sight of the offending pack of wild dogs. She was able to get two of them with the first two fast shots and the rest of them took off into the night.

  She found the downed sheep and had to shoot it too and came back into camp after moving the three bodies out from the herd to haul off in the morning. She hated it when she lost one of her little herd. It made her feel like such a failure.

  She checked on Matt again and then got Horse out and saddled her to spend the balance of the hours of darkness doing slow circles around and among the sheep. She fully expected the coyotes back again before dawn. There was too much cover for them here and it had been too easy the first time. Zeus knew there was a problem as well and stayed out in the midst of the sheep the whole time, which had become completely unlike him.

  She was right, and the pack returned in that darkest hour just before dawn. Zeus must have been right there because as soon as she heard the coyotes she heard him growl and tear into them and then she heard the coyotes run off whining and bawling. By the time Taya got there they were long gone and the rest of the night passed uneventfully.