Beginning of the Reckoning

by Vera Quinn

  I wake up alone and feel Hacksaw’s side of the bed and it is cool so I know he has been gone for a while. I am looking forward to getting out of this damn house today. I know staying is a priority right now but being on lockdown is getting old. I get up and look at the alarm clock and see it was time for me to be up anyway. I pick my clothes up off the chair I left them on last night. Yes, I was that excited last night about getting out today that I already have my clothes set out. I walk in the bathroom and open the shower door and start the shower. I put some towels on the towel rack hanging on the shower door so I can grab them when I get out. I take my tank and sleep shorts off and step into the shower. The hot water feels good on my skin. It so relaxing and it gives me time to think. I barely remember Hacksaw coming in last night. It was a couple of hours after I had fallen to sleep when I heard the shower come on and then a little later I felt Hacksaw crawling in bed next to me. I waited for him to reach out for me for sex, but he pulled me into his arms and it was just a few minutes later his breathing evened out and I knew he was asleep and I was asleep right after that. I thought he would wake me up before he left this morning but apparently, the long hours are taking a toll on him. Rome still wasn’t in when I came to bed either but when I saw him at lunch yesterday I noticed his slight limp was more noticeable and I know that happens when he is tired. I just hope this is over soon. I feel guilty for going stir crazy in this house when the Feral Steel brothers are barely getting a chance to sleep just trying to keep us safe. I know Hacksaw’s worry has increased in the last few days. He doesn’t even want me outside at all. He wasn’t happy about Tara asking me to go to the doctor with her today. We argued about it but I had to stand my ground. Tara and I have become close and this is her first child and she is scared. Her mom is not around and would be no good for her anyway since she stays in the bottom of a bottle. I’ve given birth twice and I hope I can help Tara with my knowledge. Tara says I do. I’m all she has right now and I won’t shirk my friend duty. I can see how unsure of things that Tara is and if I can calm her that is the least I can do.

  This is the first time I have thought about Lucas and Adeline in a few days. I don’t know how I feel about that. They used to be the first and last thing I thought about every day and so many times in between. Since I have been with Hacksaw it has changed. I know in my brain this is the way things should be. I need to go on with my life but my heart is still in transition. Adeline and Lucas will always be important in my life but just maybe I can still have a life and be happy. Maybe one day even have children of my own. I know Hacksaw and I are not promising each other forever but we have ignited a spark between us. I’m not naïve enough to dream about white picket fences, a big back yard, and a house full of children. Right now, all I want is peace of mind and Hacksaw gives that to me. I believe Hacksaw is a man of his word so that means when he is gone these long hours, I believe he is working for the club and not screwing every woman that will bend over and spread their legs for him. I am happy and content. I haven’t had that a lot in my life and I like it. With this new peace of mind, I finish my shower and take care of my morning routine. I apply some moisturizer and lip gloss and dry my hair and put it in a messy bun. I am not the woman that spends an hour applying makeup and doing my hair anymore. I used to be that woman but not anymore. I leave the bathroom and find my favorite pair of flip flops to go with my outfit of capris and nice tshirt. It’s a t-shirt but it has my favorite band on it so it makes it one of my favorites. This is me now, the new Joy that dresses for comfort and not to impress anyone or try to get attention on me and away from any other woman in the room. I stop at the dresser and pick up my favorite perfume and spray just a light spray and I am out the bedroom door and looking for my first hot cup of coffee so I can wake up. This is going to be a good day.

  I walk into the kitchen and I see that Hacksaw and Rome are sitting at the table. Since our sheets were cool I thought Hacksaw would be gone by now or I would have been in the kitchen sooner. I see the grim look on both of their faces and I know more bad news is coming. I walk over by the coffeemaker and reach up in the cabinet and get me a cup. No one has said anything and I don’t want to fill the silence with unnecessary chatter so I keep quiet and pour my coffee. I turn and see that Hacksaw is staring at me. “Would you two like me to fix you some breakfast? I’ll try not to burn the eggs,” I say with a smile.

  “I’m going to see what is keeping Tara but thanks.” Rome gets up and walks out of the room. I’m used to Rome’s brooding nature by now but this is new for Hacksaw.

  “How about you?” I ask again. “I alread y ate at the clubhouse. Gertie had breakfast fixed earlier,” Hacksaw tells me. I knew he had been up early. “Joy, today I need you to listen to Rome and the prospects. I don’t want anything happening to you and the only way to keep you safe is if you listen to everything you’re told.” I look at Hacksaw and I see the worry lines and fatigue.

  “I’ll be safe and listen,” I assure him. “I’m not being an asshole this time , it is important,” Hacksaw tells me, and I can see there is something he is trying to get me to understand without saying the words. That can only mean club business and I know better than to ask. I just nod at him. Hacksaw moves and takes me in his arms and there is a gentleness about Hacksaw that I haven’t experienced before and it scares the hell out of me. The rough biker I can take. I know how to handle that but the gentle might crush me. “I couldn’t stand it if something happened to you sugar.” I look up at Hacksaw and he looks down at me and our eyes connect. We stare at each other for a minute or it could have been more, then Hacksaw’s mouth is on mine and I swear my heart stands still and then starts to beat out of my chest. Hacksaw consumes me. I feel myself being lifted and I wrap my legs around Hacksaw’s hips. My panties are drenched and my sex clenches with desire. I want Hacksaw and I feel how much he wants me with the bulge in his jeans. I grind down on him and then I hear a throat clear. I don’t pull away but the second time someone fake coughs Hacksaw turns us towards the noise and Devil is standing there with a grin on his face. Hacksaw slaps my ass and I drop my legs to the floor. Rome walks back in the room. I step away from Hacksaw just a little and press my rumpled clothes down with my hands. I’m still a little breathless. “Is it time?” Hacksaw asks Devil.

  “Yeah, we need to get back to the clubhouse. Oz and Tito have an update and I just talked to Chief, so we need to get a move on,” Devil tells Hacksaw. “Rome, see you back at the clubhouse after. Be careful. The prospects are outside waiting.” I see Tara walk up behind Rome.

  “Will do brother,” Rome tells Devil and then he looks at me. “Joy, can we use your truck? Kat is using our SUV today to do a grocery run for the clubhouse.” “Sure.” I throw my keys to him.

  “Where is Bourbon gone to today in your ride?” Rome asks Devil, but Devil just looks at Rome without giving him an answer. “Their club business or ours?” Rome asks.

  “Both.” The way Devil says it we can all tell the subject is closed.

  “Just drop the women o ff at my house when you get back. Rye will be there with a couple of his men. The rest are with Bourbon. We need you at the clubhouse as soon as possible.” Devil gives Rome a look that says a lot without saying a word. I have an uneasy feeling. At times like these I wish I was stupid to the workings of club life. Sometimes not knowing saves peace of mind. Tara doesn’t look concerned at all. Hacksaw steps back up to me and kisses me again, much too short for my liking but I know he has things that need to be done. Hacksaw steps back from me and gives me a wink. I smile at him and then he and Devil walk out the door. I drink my coffee as Tara makes some toast.

  “I’m going to have a word with the prospects. When you two are ready just come on out. We need to leave in the next fifteen minutes,” Rome tells us and then he slaps Tara on the ass and walks out.

  “He’s so sweet,” Tara says in a sarcastic tone, but she has a big smile on her face showing just how much she loves Rome. “But he’s all yours.” Tara is finish
ed doctoring her toast up with butter and jelly. She puts the things back in the fridge and pours a small glass of juice to wash the food down. She turns around and stands at the cabinet to eat.

  “Yes, he is, and I am one lucky woman,” Tara says as she starts to eat. I finish drinking my coffee and rinse my cup and place it in the dishwasher. “You’re both lucky. I’m going to grab my purse and then I will be ready ,” I tell Tara and then make my way back to the room that Hacksaw and I have been staying in. I grab my purse and get my phone and check the battery, full charge. I straighten the bed and turn to leave and my eyes catch sight of the door across the hall. It was Sarah’s room. The door is closed and no one has been in it. We have been staying in Hanna’s room and Rome and Tara have been staying in Felix’s. Sarah’s room stays untouched. I have been waiting on Callie to send boxes over, but I haven’t heard anything about it and I figure since I volunteered, and Tara said she would help if the three friends were ready for it to be packed up, they would let us know or Devil would and nothing. I know if it was Em’s room and she was gone…no, I can’t even think it. It makes my heart hurt just thinking about it. I walk back to the kitchen and Tara has finished eating and is waiting on me. We walk out the door and Tara locks the door. I see the three prospects talking with Rome so we go to my truck and get in and wait. My truck is a single cab truck, so Tara is sitting in the middle and I am riding shotgun. Tara’s brother Joey is one of the prospects and when he looks our way Tara gives him a little wave and he gives one of those man nods.

  “Are you excited to hear the heart beat?” I ask Tara trying to fill the silence and hoping to ease some of Tara’s nerves.

  “I am but I think Rome is more excited than I am,” Tara tells me with a smile on her face. “I know this is none of my business but that’s not going to stop me from asking.” I stop and look at Tara’s face to see if I am about to stick my foot in my mouth. “Why do you call Rome by his road name? I mean a lot of ol’ ladies call their men by their given names.” Tara laughs.

  “No one has ever asked me that before but to tell you the truth I’ve never even thought about it. When we were introduced he had just gotten his road name so I met him as Rome. It’s natural to call him Rome but when we are alone I call him Kane. I don’t think a person’s name defines them so Rome is good for me. You do the same thing with Hacksaw.” Tara is right. I’ve never called Hacksaw anything but Hacksaw. I know his name is Heath but I guess that is a conversation we need to have so I’ll know his preference. It just shows how little we know each other.

  “Good point. Have you heard anything from Callie about us doing Sarah’s room? I don’t want to push the issue.” I see concern on Tara’s face. “I haven’t talked much with Callie and it never comes up but I am like you, I don’t want to push. We volunteered so I think we just need to wait and let them come to us.” Tara and I agree on that. I see Rome walking our way. He gets in the truck and we are on our way. Rome reaches over and takes Tara’s hand and puts it on his thigh. I smile to myself. I love the way the two of them are together. We drive up the drive and past the clubhouse. Creole opens the gate for us so we can leave the club property. The Feral Steel take their security seriously. Gully is in the lead then us in my truck and Jay and Joey are following behind us. It’s not a long ride to the doctor’s office but for some reason my nerves have me on edge. I haven’t been out in over a week and I like getting out but I am beginning to feel boxed in. I breathe through it when we finally enter the city limits. The country highway was too quiet for me. I see Gully stop at the four-way stop at the intersection and then he goes, and we stop. Just as I think we are going to drive through I see a man that is a car back at the stop sign to our right step out of his car and he has a weapon in his hand and he is shooting at us. I hear the shots hit my truck. I see as he turns the gun on Gully and he goes down.

  “Get on the floor!” I hear Rome yell. I push Tara down in the floorboard of my truck. There isn’t room for both of us so I try to cover Tara’s body with mine without smothering her. I feel the truck moving and Rome has his phone in his hand and hands it to me. I call Hacksaw, but it goes to voicemail, so I call the clubhouse. It rings. I hear more gunshots and I feel a sharp burning pain in my leg.

  “Yep!” I hear someone answer.

  “We’re getting shot at! We just came into town!” I don’t know who I am talking to until his voice calms me.

  “Sugar, calm down. You’re yelling, and I can’t make out what you are saying,” Hacksaw says so I lower my voice and repeat. “We are at the four -way intersection and we are getting shot at.” The line goes dead. I look at Rome and he has his gun out and is trying to shoot behind us and drive too. I put the phone in Tara’s hand.

  “Call someone else the phone went dead so I think help is on the way.” I tell Tara. She is crying but takes the phone. I am afraid that Rome will wreck the truck while trying to shoot so I get in the seat.

  “Give me the gun.” Rome looks at me for only a second and then hands it to me. I turn myself backwards and open my sliding glass window. I don’t see Joey or Jay. I see a black SUV behind us with a man reaching out the front passenger side window shooting at us. Rome is zigging and zagging. It’s hard to get my balance but I get a shot off. I’ve shot a gun before and when I am standing still and shooting at a target I am an okay shot but in these conditions, I am just happy I hit the SUV. It doesn’t deter the man from shooting back. I shoot again and hit their windshield. I am just about to shoot again, and something hits my side of the truck hard and I fall back, hitting my head on the dash of the truck. My head is dizzy but when the airbag goes off and I am thrown back against the cab everything goes black.

  I hear the panic in Joy’s voice as soon as she starts shouting. Her voice is too loud for me to make out the words she is saying. “Sugar, calm down. You’re yelling and I can’t make out what you are saying.” I never expected her next words. We have been so careful with security.